


In The Mourning

by UninspiredPoet



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Backstory, Canonical Character Death, Childhood, Childhood Sweethearts, Domestic Fluff, Elf Culture & Customs, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Family Feels, Family History, Femslash, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up, Heavy Angst, Loss, Major Character Undeath, Polyamory, Strained Relationships, Strap-Ons, Tender Sex, Warcraft Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2019-10-10 14:01:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 103,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17427266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UninspiredPoet/pseuds/UninspiredPoet
Summary: The Windrunner family has always carried the mantle of Ranger-General. But they have also loved and been loved in return. They are sons and daughters and mothers and fathers. There is a story behind the name. A story of love, acceptance, and loss beyond imagining...and of triumph against all odds.





	1. What A Wonderful World

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Ah, you’re home.” Aravath’s voice was warm and inviting as Lireesa stepped through their door and shut it behind herself with a faint smile. She cut an imposing figure. She always had. Especially fresh in from the field, where she refused to wear the bright blues of Silvermoon and returned, instead, to the black and scale armors of her mercenary roots. The darkness of her armor coupled with the inky black of her hair only caused her nearly silver-blue eyes to be that much more piercing. But they held softness for him. They had for a very, very long time, now.

“I am. What have you and our little one been up to in my absence?” 

Her voice was almost deeper than his. Low in a way that caused it to naturally carry without her even having to raise it. She’d always been a great commander. And - much to her chagrin - she was an even better Ranger-General. 

“The usual.” He responded as he walked away from their stove - leaving the spoon still stirring the stew he’d been working on in his absence as he made his way across the room to her. “Studies. Language...calligraphy...I didn’t manage to keep her away from a bow while you were gone, but we’re working on that.” 

They shared a soft smile at his teasing before Lireesa bent towards him and rested her forehead against his. “I have missed your wit, Aravath.” She murmured quietly, lifting a gloved hand to stroke over his long, golden blonde hair. 

“And I’ve missed bothering you with it. Now go sit while I finish dinner. We’ve plenty of time to catch up later.” 

The Ranger-General let out a greatful sigh and pulled away to move towards the sofa situated in front of the fireplace that was blazing with flames of brilliant colors that gave off no heat. It was too warm for that right now...but Aravath had always known she loved fires. 

The sound of light feet on the stairs made one of her ears twitch and the golden leaf that adorned it swung faintly but she didn’t turn her head. Sylvanas had taken to learning how to sneak and she was young enough that a little pretending wouldn’t hurt. 

She played along even as she knew every movement her youngest daughter made - all the way up until she leaped onto the back of the substantial piece of furniture and wrapped her arms around her neck. It was then that Lireesa grabbed her tightly in her arms for a moment as she struggled to escape, laughing all the while until the General finally let her go. She took a few steps back and tried to school her expression into some semblance of formality. It looked ridiculous and Lireesa could tell she’d been schooled in more courtly graces in her absence. But she let her try. 

And then she smiled softly as her youngest daughter climbed into her lap once she beckoned her near. She'd, herself, been gone for over two weeks and Alleria still hadn't made it back. But it seemed Sylvanas’s sole focus was on her mother. And that was just fine. Because Lireesa’s only concern in that moment was her. She pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head as Aravath continued his work behind them on their dinner. 

“Mama?” Sylvanas’s youthful face turned up to her mother’s scarred one and the gently measuring gaze that was leveled at her. “Yes, my love?” Lireesa always took Sylvanas’s questions seriously. 

“How come Rangers are always ladies? If boys were Rangers I would get to see you more often.” 

Lireesa’s expression grew more serious as Sylvanas reached up to toy with some of the silver strands of hair that rested so starkly against the sleek, black mane that was pulled away from the sharp angles of the Ranger-General’s face. But a smile played around the corners of her lips that caused the lines beside her eyes to show more clearly. 

She lifted her daughter to stand between her legs on the sofa so they were eye to eye and held her up by her sides. “There are just some things ladies are more adept at than...boys. We are smaller. Faster. And just as strong - even stronger, in some cases. More suited to this life. Does that make sense to you?”

Sylvanas looked over her mother’s shoulder as she reached out to toy with the black feathers adorning her spaulder in the direction of her father who was smirking but silent. He felt her thoughtful gaze on him and looked over his shoulder at her with a wink. 

She giggled softly at her father’s silliness and then turned her attention back to the steely, glowing grey gaze of her mother that had always held nothing but adoration when it fell on her. “Will I be one, someday? And then I could go with you and Sister when you have to leave…” 

Lireesa’s eyes glinted with pride as she reached up to run her hands through the pale blonde of her daughter’s hair before cradling cheeks that still held the softness of childhood in them. “Oh, Sylvanas. You will be the very best of us. I promise you.” 

“The best?” Sylvanas asked incredulously. There was an impressive amount of disbelief in her tone for someone so young. 

“Absolutely.”

“Mama, that’s silly. You’re the best. That’s why you’re the most important one.” Her hands came up to touch the dark, padded gauntlets still covering her mother’s hands and forearms as she continued looking at her - waiting for her to agree. But, to her surprise, she didn’t. 

“Not the most important.” Lireesa corrected gently as she lowered her daughter to sit on one of her legs. “Every Ranger is just as important as I am. Every single one. You must remember that...it’s very important. One Ranger could mean the loss of a battle. Or a Kingdom.”

Sylvanas leaned into her mother and rested her head against the softness of the feathers that covered one of her pauldrons. She thought hard about that answer. She didn’t like to be wrong...but when she was, she liked to try to understand why. 

“But if you weren’t there, who would tell them what to do?”

Lireesa found herself caught off guard by the level of insight that question hid beneath it and she couldn’t help but chuckle quietly as she reached for one of her daughter’s hands and held it in the palm of her own. “Very good, Sylvanas. Yes. Leaders are important...in different ways. Not more. Just different. It’ll be easier to understand when you’re older. I promise you.”

Aravath, noticing the slight fatigue in his wife’s voice, called out for Sylvanas to help him finish up. 

“Your mother needs to get out of that armor, anyway, Lady Moon.” He explained to her as she padded across the room to him. “She’s been in it for far too long.”

Lireesa, recognizing her cue, stood and began to make her way up the spiraling stairs to their bedchambers to rack her armor and finally put on something more comfortable. 

Their dinner was subdued but comfortable. Mostly filled with Sylvanas catching her mother up on everything she’d learned while she’d been gone. Their home was filled with welcomed chatter and the smell of fresh baked bread and stew and warmth. More warmth than Lireesa would have ever expected so very long ago before any of this had happened. And on nights like these, she still appreciated it. She couldn’t help but appreciate it, really. 

And so, when Aravath offered to take Sylvanas to bed Lireesa declined and instead hoisted the sleepy girl up against her hip - now clad in soft, dark linen nightclothes that were no longer a danger to her. 

“Will Alleria be home soon, too?” Her voice was barely audible as she pressed her face against her mother’s shoulder as they rounded the corner into her bedroom. 

“She’s due back any day now. Have you missed her, my love?” Lireesa asked as she lowered her into bed and covered her snugly before kneeling at her bedside and looking her over. She was growing so fast. She was so smart. So quick-witted. So incredibly good. 

“I always miss her. Like I miss you. I can’t wait ‘til I’m old enough to-”

“Shh. Hush now, Lady Moon.” Lireesa murmured - her low voice turning into something gentle and soothing as easily as it shouted orders across a battlefield. “No need to rush. There will always be battles for you to be the hero of. And when that day comes I will be the proudest mother on Azeroth. But that won’t be any different.”

“What’s that mean? Any different from what?” Sylvanas’s drowsy response brought with it her mother’s gentle fingertips in her hair - soothing her into sleep even as she spoke. 

“I am already the proudest mother on Azeroth. You needn’t ever lift another bow for that to be true.” 

“Thank you, Mama. Can Velonara come over tomorrow?” Her heavy eyelids seemed to manage to open more as she waited for that response in particular and Lireesa nodded. 

“As though she hasn’t been here every day of my absence. Of course, she can. Now rest.” 

Lireesa kissed her daughter’s forehead gently as her breathing began to even out. But she stayed for quite a while - just stroking along her scalp and watching over her until she heard Aravath in the doorway behind her. 

“A lovely image.” He murmured quietly, and his stance made her wonder how long he’d been standing there while she’d been so enthralled. “But either you’re slipping in your old age or you need to sleep.” 

If Sylvanas hadn’t been sleeping so near to her she’d have scoffed audibly but she settled for standing and leaving her bedroom with the mage that had been waiting for her for gods only knew how long. 

“I was only half kidding, you know.” Aravath continued his earlier teasing as he shut their door behind them and turned to look at his wife worriedly. “You were supposed to have retired decades ago, I...Lireesa I worry about you.” 

The Ranger-General sighed quietly and reached for his hand to lead him to bed before she sat him down on the edge of it and looked down into his eyes. 

The years had been so very kind to her. He thought that every time he looked at her. The silver dusting her raven-black hair...the soft lines at the corners of her eyes and the small, delicate scar that split one of her eyebrows all only added to how otherworldly she truly was. She had been his best friend and he hers for so long the thought of losing her was unbearable. 

“I know. I know you do, Aravath.” She responded as she reached up to cradle his cheek. “But Alleria doesn’t want this life. Have patience. Have faith. Aside from a skirmish here and there,  
there is more peace in our forests now than ever there has been. All will be well in the end.”

He sighed. Clearly not satisfied - but willing to relent for the time being. “Were you wounded? Are you sore anywhere?” He asked as he reached for her hand and held it in his own before kissing her palm. 

The deep laugh he received in response did little to assuage his concerns. But he found it lovely nonetheless. 

“I am sore everywhere. A good nights rest and a long, hot bath tomorrow will do me wonders, I think.” 

He was thankful, at least, that she’d finally admitted that much to him and he pushed the covers back a bit - slipping under them and waiting for her to join him before he pulled them around her as well. 

“And perhaps a visit to Silvermoon, hm?” He continued with a faintly playful smile on his face as she heaved a relieved sigh the moment her face pressed into the silk pillowcase beneath her head when she turned onto her stomach and felt Aravath’s hand stroking along her back over the sheets. 

“In a few days. Alleria can probably be convinced to take her sister hunting. I’m sure you could use a visit of your own after watching her for two weeks straight.” 

“I could, yes. But I’m certain I’m not the only one that’s been missing you.” 

Lireesa turned her attention to him at that - her eyes already half shut and her expression nothing if not content. 

“I’m sure she has missed me, yes.” She responded in a faint murmur as he dimmed the magelights that had been illuminating the room until a comfortable level of darkness blanketed them. “But we all have our responsibilities. I’m not the only one by any measure. And, besides, I’ve missed you and Sylvanas terribly. It isn’t often Alleria’s leave coincides with mine. It will be lovely for all of us to be together under the same roof for a while.” 

“And that’s true enough.” He responded quietly, slowly lowering his own head down from the hand it had been propped on. “I’m glad you’re home, Lireesa.” His free arm shifted so the hand not stroking her back rested between them and smiled as he found Lireesa’s fingers twining with his own. 

“I’m glad to be home. I really am.” 

There was a time in her past when she never could have imagined uttering those words - much less actually meaning them. But, gods, she meant them, now. 

And even as tired as her husband was after two weeks of chasing Sylvanas around the spires and the forests - something he would never get used to and something he would swear had almost killed him during Alleria’s childhood - he managed to stay awake while she drifted off. If only to make sure she would wake well rested. And perhaps to spend a few more moments appreciating having her home.

"What A Wonderful World"  
Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green  
Red roses too  
I see them bloom  
For me and you  
And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue  
And clouds of white  
The bright blessed day  
The dark sacred night  
And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow  
So pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces  
Of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands  
Saying, "How do you do?"  
They're really saying  
"I love you"

I hear babies cry  
I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more  
Than I'll never know  
And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world

 


	2. Count On Me

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Alleria heaved a sigh as she trudged towards the couch in the center of the front room of the spire and Lireesa looked up at her with a faint smile before returning to her reading in the armchair she’d recently taken a liking to near the fireplace. She didn’t pay much mind to the mud being tracked across the polished stone floors.

But judging by the distressed noise that came from the bottom of the staircase - her husband felt rather differently. 

“Alleria, please! Your boots...leave them at the door. That’s all I ask.” He sounded exasperated, yes, but as he jogged over to her and helped her off with them it was clear by the look of relief on his face that he’d missed her and that he’d been worrying - even if she did seem to delight in making a mess of their home from time to time. 

“Where is Lady Moon?” She asked almost immediately as Aravath carried her boots over to the door to sit them on the nearby mat next to her mother’s. 

“Sleeping. It’s late, you know. I’d have expected you back hours ago.” Lireesa responded as she finally sat her book to the side and looked up at her eldest daughter. 

“The amount of reports I had to relay before my leave was...undesirable.” The last word was more of a grumble than anything as she continued her journey and plopped down along the sofa rather unceremoniously. 

“A complaint I understand all too well. And how is my Captain?” She continued as Aravath began magicking away the boot prints she’d left all over their floors. 

“Tired, honestly. And ready for some reprieve. How was your circuit, mother?” She leaned her head over the arm of the couch and looked at the older woman upside-down as she tossed one of her legs over the back of the couch. She’d always been comfortable in the strangest positions. And Lireesa had always found it endearing. 

The Ranger-General pushed herself up from the comfort of her chair, then, and lifted Alleria’s head with a hand at the back of it so she could press a kiss to her forehead. “There is reprieve aplenty here, my dear. You’ll have all the rest you desire before and after you take Sylvanas hunting. Now let me go find you something to eat while your father frets over your mess. I'm sure you're starving.” 

“Take...take her hunting? When did I agree to-”

“Hush, now. Only for a night.” Lireesa chided as she saw Alleria lift her head so she could watch her mother over the back of the couch. She sighed quietly and laid back down - resigned to her fate.

“And you'll be taking Velonara, too. Her mother is still in-field and has been for over a month. It will do the child good to be around the two of you.” Lireesa used a very no-nonsense tone and there was no question as to whether or not this was optional. But that didn't stop Alleria.

“Anar’alah, Mother. Not one child, but two?” She groaned as she looked back over at Lireesa then plopped back down along the couch again rather dramatically.

Lireesa chuckled quietly as she made her way back over to her daughter and leaned over the back of the couch to place a cloth filled with small slices of bread and cured meats on her stomach. “Yes, Alleria. Two. And you know very well they will be all too well-behaved on their trip with a Farstrider Captain.”

“Mmh. True enough.” She relented before starting in on her impromptu dinner. “I take it you'll be visiting Auntie Elle, then?” 

Lireesa smirked and settled herself back down in her chair before retrieving her book. “I will, yes. Thank you, very much, my most observant daughter.”

“I suppose at least there will be something delicious to come back to, then.” She continued as she ate - not paying much mind to her father as he ushered her feet off the sofa so he could find space at the end of it to sit down. 

“I am rather fond of her baking, as well, Lireesa. I do hope Alleria is correct.” He winked at her as she lifted her gaze to meet his. 

“Are there not always treats when I come back from Silvermoon? You are as bad as your daughter, Aravath.” Her complaint was half-hearted at best as she tried to find the place she'd left off at in her reading. 

“And you, Father? I don’t suppose you’ll be hanging around the spires by yourself, hm?” She asked as she looked down at him and lifted her legs so they rested across his lap. He leaned back to give her room and rested a hand over them followed by a gentle pat. 

“I don’t suppose I will. Did you take leave just to air your mother and I’s business to no one in particular, or did you also need the rest and relaxation?” He lifted a brow as he looked at her - feigning a rather serious expression that almost caused Lireesa to snort when she glanced up and saw it. 

“That _is_ my rest and relaxation, Father.” She responded as she popped the last of her dinner into her mouth and got up rather abruptly to head towards the kitchen. 

“You might find it more relaxing to actually go to bed after a hard day’s riding, you know? I merely speak from experience. You’re not as young as you used to be.” Lireesa stood, then, to join Aravath on the couch as she gave up on reading for the evening. 

Alleria turned sharply and clutched at her chest, looking positively stricken. “Mother! Please! I am in my _prime_!” She tossed the cloth that had been given to her with her food onto the counter and laughed at her own wittiness as she made her way towards the stairs. As much as she loved giving her parents a hard time they really were right. She was actually tired. 

Once she was out of sight - though they both knew she was never really out of earshot - Lireesa looked over at her husband and reached out to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. “Your daughter is going to drive me mad one of these days, you know that?” She asked softly as he looked over at her. 

“She truly missed her calling as a bard or an actor, I think.”

“I don’t think she has the voice for that, unfortunately.” Lireesa spoke just loudly enough for her daughter to hear from her bedroom and snorted at the quiet choking noise she got in response. She’d have likely protested more loudly were her bedroom not adjacent to her little sister’s.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Feel along the edges. No. Like this.” Alleria reached down, then, and guided Sylvanas’s fingertips along the outline of the hoof print of the beast they'd been tracking. “See how they feel slightly sharp?” She glanced at Velonara to make sure she was paying attention as well. “But not quite dry or sun-baked. So this trail is still worth following. Lady Moon - take point for a while. Velonara, show me how you would guard her flank if this were an enemy we were tracking.”

They both responded immediately and their effort was quite admirable. In fact - even after a solid mile Sylvanas had never faltered. She rarely even had to examine any signs for longer than a moment or two. And to see a girl as young as Velonara on such high alert - so keen not only to do as she'd been asked but to do it for her friend, was heartening. They were both treating this hunt very seriously. 

Eventually, though, as the tracks became fresher - Alleria moved back to the lead. She was thankful they were old enough that they’d long ago learned how to be nearly silent in the forests because they were far enough out that they genuinely needed a kill in order to eat that night. 

When they finally came upon the clearing the stag they’d been stalking had come to rest in her shot was true and she was certain the animal wouldn’t suffer the moment she loosed her arrow from her bow. “Well, now.” She remarked wryly as she stood from the bushes she’d been crouched behind and looked down at the girls still on either side of herself. “We won’t go hungry tonight. How does that sound?” 

Sylvanas was beaming with pride at her older sister and they shared the tasks required to dress the animal and dispose of any remains in a way that would only benefit the forests instead of harming them. “Do you know why it’s important that we do this?” Alleria asked as she tossed the remainder of the innards that weren’t useable into the stream the animal had been drinking from. 

“To feed the fish?” Velonara asked as she watched some of the pieces get snatched beneath the surface of the water. 

“Close enough.” Alleria responded as she adjusted the heavy burden of meat and hide against her shoulder into a more comfortable position. 

As they walked back Velonara hung back slightly - waiting for her friend to notice and fall behind as well. Alleria allowed it, despite the fact that she noticed the change of pace without even having to look. 

“What was the right answer?” Velonara asked in a whisper as Sylvanas glanced from her sister’s back to her friend’s inquiring face. 

“We do it to give back what we have to take.” She responded just as quietly. “That’s what mom always taught me.” 

“Oh…” Velonara pondered that idea for a moment before she decided it made quite a great deal of sense and they quickened their strides to catch up with Alleria. 

By the time they were settled back at camp and Alleria had constructed a device to smoke what they wouldn’t eat that night the sun had long since set. And while she was quiet about her tasks she enjoyed listening to the soft chatter of her little sister and Velonara. But she was distracted by her horse snuffling and stomping quietly at the edge of camp. 

“Come here, you two.” She feigned a groan as she stood - raising the loin currently roasting on a spit over the coals she’d banked to the side so it wouldn’t burn as she picked them both up and carried them towards the impatient horse currently pointing his ears at them. 

“He can’t see as well as you two can at night. Take him down to the stream so he can drink one more time before bed. By the time you’re back we should be ready to eat. Feel free to bring me back some berries if you spot any.”

She situated the two young girls on the back of the large animal - not worried about a saddle. She wasn’t sure about Velonara’s riding abilities - but she was sure enough about her sister’s that she knew the girl wouldn’t be allowed to fall. 

Alleria watched with a warm smile as Sylvanas guided the horse down and away from camp with simple, quiet noises and slight shifts of her legs against his sides before returning to her cooking. 

Velonara looked around them as both their ears shifted naturally in the direction of any nearby sounds - but neither of them was nervous. They both knew these forests well and the stream wasn’t terribly far away. Eventually, they grew comfortable enough for quiet conversation as Alleria’s horse dipped his head and began to drink his fill. 

“Sylvanas?”

“What?” She asked as she turned her head to glance over her shoulder at the girl sitting behind her. 

“Do you think we’ll always be friends?” She asked - her voice getting a touch quieter. 

Sylvanas smiled softly and turned her attention back to the way the moonlight glinted off the little waves the horse they rode created as he drank. 

“I know we’ll always be friends.” She responded - her tone so certain and her smile so contagious it settled Velonara’s sudden worries for the time being. At least until they began riding back to camp. 

“How are you so sure?” 

“I just am. You’ve always been my best friend...I don’t want you to ever not be.” She responded as she kept her eyes focused on the path ahead of them more for the horse’s safety than for their own. 

“I don’t ever want to not be, either.” Velonara mumbled as she leaned back and rested her hands behind her comfortably. 

“You don’t ever have to not be. So don’t worry about it.” Sylvanas’s reply was short and simple as the glow of their fire came into view and she slipped from the horses back - reaching up to help Velonara down. It was a rather long way and it was just always something she’d done instinctively with the younger girl. 

“No berries?” Alleria asked as her mouth fell agape and she made quite a show of her disappointment as the girls moved to sit next to her on the blanket she’ laid near the fire and reclined back on nonchalantly.  
Sylvanas laughed quietly and reached into the little pouch she wore at her hip - producing a handful of them that Velonara hadn’t even noticed her snatch on their way back. 

“That’s my girl. Now sit, get comfortable. It’s dinner time.” 

Alleria found herself incredibly glad her mother had volunteered her for this trip as Velonara and Sylvanas ate from the same plate and she bit pieces off of what meat was still left on the spit she’d been cooking on. 

“Still hungry?” She asked when they’d all finished and she’d moved over to the smoking rack to turn the thin strips that were still curing. Sylvanas looked at Velonara who seemed too shy, suddenly, to answer and she nodded at her sister despite the fact that she was quite full. 

When she was handed a strip of meat that was adequately done she tore off the larger piece for Velonara and nibbled on her own portion while Alleria finished shifting the rack so their prize could continue curing through the night as they slept. 

“Alright. Get comfortable.” Alleria ordered quietly as she glanced over at them when she noticed how quiet they’d suddenly gotten - exhausted and full bellies, both. 

She helped them under the pack blanket she’d placed atop the bedroll she’d spread for them to share and watched as they pressed close to one another. Her eyes met Sylvanas’s as she looked over Velonara at her and she reached over to stroke gently through her hair, gently picking a leaf out of the pale strands that she must have picked up on their short ride earlier. 

“A story?” She asked softly, pulling her own bedroll nearer than she’d initially placed it. 

“Yes, please.” Sylvanas whispered in response as Velonara turned slowly so she could see Alleria, as well. They both propped themselves up ever so slightly as though they would miss something if they couldn’t see properly. 

“A long time ago - when our people first came to this land - there were no Elf Gates. No Silvermoon. We had to fight for all of that. Even when we got it - we had to keep on fighting. And there was no fiercer warrior than your great-grandfather, Lady Moon. Talanas Windrunner.”

Sylvanas smiled. This was her favorite story. And Alleria knew that.

“He fought so fiercely and so bravely that he helped to secure our peoples' freedom and our peace for generations to come. And he became the first Ranger-General of Silvermoon. But that wasn’t all, was it?” 

Sylvanas shook her head as her smile spread into a grin for a moment before it faded - so enraptured she was by this tale she’d heard a hundred times over.  


But to Velonara - the fine details of the legend were all new. And her face was full of wonderment. 

“They saw fit to reward him with a powerful weapon. A bow with a frame crafted from the Mother Tree, herself. Bathed in the waters of the Sunwell upon its completion. A bow more powerful than any other on Azeroth. And Talanas repaid them for this gift tenfold. He drove the trolls so far back that Eversong became ours. And Thas’dorah...Valor of the Forest, has been borne by every Ranger-General thereafter. And so it shall be, always. Our Great-Grandfather. Our Grandfather. Mother. So long as the bow is in the hands of a Windrunner General our lands will be protected and our foes will continue to fear the very sight of it.” 

“And then you?” Sylvanas asked quietly as her brows furrowed. 

Alleria chuckled quietly at that. “Oh, no, Lady Moon. I think not. But that is a discussion for another time. You are both half asleep, as it is. Rest.”

As much as Sylvanas wanted to question that - as much as the curiosity was eating away at her - sleep was winning out. But her dreams were full of this tale and many others that she asked to hear so often. 

Alleria watched over them as they slept - only dozing now and again next to them, but never allowing herself to fully drift off. It was easy enough after centuries of doing the same for the various units she’d commanded. And she was content. Content to be surrounded by the sounds of the forest and the quiet set of breaths over her shoulder as the flames cast shadows and warmth across her face.

  


"Count On Me"  
Bruno Mars

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea  
I'll sail the world to find you  
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see  
I'll be the light to guide you

We find out what we're made of  
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me  
Like 1, 2, 3  
I'll be there  
And I know when I need it  
I can count on you  
Like 4, 3, 2  
You'll be there  
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do

If you're tossin' and you're turnin'  
And you just can't fall asleep  
I'll sing a song beside you  
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me  
Every day I will remind you

We find out what we're made of  
When we are called to help our friends in need

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry  
I'll never let go, never say goodbye  
You know

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

 

  



	3. Shrike

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Lireesa thanked the merchant for the flowers as she handed them over to her wrapped in delicate parchment. She’d stopped here so many times over the years. A flower here - a bouquet there. And never did the woman question her. She simply smiled and occasionally chatted as the Ranger-General - the commander of the High Elven military - bought flowers for her visits to Silvermoon City. Month after month. Year after year. Decade after decade. Sometimes she wondered at the love that must be behind all those countless roses and tulips and lilies. Wondered - as the General swung herself up on the black horse waiting outside her shop obediently in a flourish of darkness - a shadow in the magelights illuminating the city this evening - who had caught her eye. And who had held it. And what softness could possibly lie behind that cold, dark exterior. Some courtesan, perhaps. Maybe a Magistrix or a Priestess or one of the Noble girls. 

The florist couldn’t have known how wrong she was. She couldn’t have known - as Lireesa tipped the stable-boy to board her horse for the night and headed towards a bakery in a currently quiet sector of the city - that the one who had caught her eye was just a baker. Just a woman. An unremarkable woman with brown hair and soft curves whose apron was always dusted with flour. Whose smile had always been warm for her. Who had never stumbled over her words in the presence of the Ranger-General. And who had always had room for her in the warmth of her arms and her bed. Unremarkable, indeed. To most. But so incredibly special and irreplaceable to Lireesa. Every curve and every light-colored scar from her ovens long since memorized by her fingertips and lips. A woman she had loved for so many years she could scarcely remember a time when she did not. 

Lireesa watched from the shadows across the cobbled road as Elenia busied herself - turning the ‘Open’ sign hanging in her bakery’s storefront windows around and moving around briskly to straighten so she could get a few hours rest before she woke with the dawn to bake for the coming day. But not this particular coming day. No - this particular coming day she would have her young helper serve a rather limited selection of bread that had already risen and was ready for breaking. Perhaps a few sweets that hadn’t sold out before she’d closed. No. She would be in bed in Lireesa’s arms for these visits were all too rare and precious for both of them to be squandered. 

She walked so lightly and Elenia was so preoccupied she didn’t hear her approach - yet still, she just stood in the doorway, leaned against the curved frame of it watching her bustle around with a damp cloth as she held the bouquet in front of herself. But finally - Elenia’s eyes caught sight of something strange over her shoulder and she paused, leaving her cloth unattended on the table she’d been wiping down as she turned. Perhaps her breath caught in her throat as her eyes found the ice-blue of Lireesa’s, framed so starkly by the black of her hair and the armor that almost blended into the shade of the doorway, protected - as it were - from the glow of the enchanted street lamps outside. Perhaps her heart skipped a beat as lips she knew to be softer than velvet curved into a gentle smile that so few people had ever seen. 

“Closing up shop already, Lady Elenia?” Lireesa asked in a low murmur as she righted herself and reached to shut the door of the bakery. She didn’t need to look to slide the locking latch into place. “Might you be able to accommodate one more customer this evening?” Her eyes followed Elenia as she made her way over to her, untying her apron as she walked and leaving it on a nearby chair so as not to sully her armor - not that Lireesa had ever minded that. It was just something the woman had always insisted upon. 

“That depends, Lady Duskheart.” She responded softly - her use of Lireesa’s first-given name bringing a faint smile to the woman’s lips. She was content to play this game with her lover. It had always amused them both. And it served to diffuse their ever-present longing for one-another - a longing that only grew worse the more they were apart. And it had been a long while this time. 

She moved closer until the flowers were the only thing keeping them apart and her eyes fell from Lireesa’s to the delicate red petals of the roses she held. She reached up and brushed her fingertips across some of them before reaching for the clasp of the other woman’s heavy cloak and unhooking it with practiced ease. She reached behind Lireesa and hung it on the coat rack near the door before speaking again - knowing the General was waiting for her to continue. “What, exactly, have you come looking for? As you can see - I’ve already cleaned up for the night.” 

Lireesa stood still for Elenia as the garment was removed - and with it, the black-feathered pauldrons that had been settled over shoulders that were now bared. Broad and strong beneath her lover’s fingertips as she reached for a rather nasty scar on the right one and traced the lines of it slowly. 

The Ranger-General’s eyes flicked to the gentle touch before she bowed her head ever so slightly and pressed a kiss to the baker’s cheek. “I’ve come looking for the same thing I’ve come looking for for years.” She whispered against the already slightly flushed skin her lips brushed against. She could feel the warmth against her mouth and it nearly caused her eyes to slip shut. And it might have - were she not so interested in Elenia’s response. “For the piece of my heart that I have been missing.”

That drew a rather sharp exhale from her and she took the flowers from Lireesa - setting them to the side before she reached for her and drew her into her arms firmly. Within the span of a heartbeat, her face was pressed against the crook of her General’s neck and the other woman’s arms were holding her so tightly it was almost painful. “I love you.” She breathed against the dark curtain of hair that kept her lips from touching Lireesa’s neck. “I missed you. So much.” 

“And I, you, Elle. On both accounts. Always.” Lireesa murmured - the low velvet of her voice caressing Elenia’s ear as one of her hands came up to cradle the back of her head. She pulled back a moment later and lifted the other woman’s chin and Elenia’s eyelids fluttered faintly at the feeling of the supple leather against her skin. It was a familiar feeling. But she missed the roughness of her beloved’s fingertips. 

That longing was dulled, however, as she was guided into a kiss. Their first kiss was always so soft. So slow. As though it were meant to reassure Elenia there was softness yet left in her. That it _belonged_ to her. That _she_ belonged to her. 

And she melted into it. Gave herself over to it completely. Lireesa made it easy to do that. She always had. 

With the softest touch down the front of her throat - along her ears - the sides of her neck. All while she slowly, carefully worked up to using her lips to part Elenia’s and find the tip of her tongue with her own. Just a touch. A touch that ended with a gentle graze of her upper lip before they were simply embracing again. “Have you thought of me?” Lireesa asked in a whisper. She knew the answer. She always did. And yet she always wanted to hear it. 

“Every day, Lireesa. Every day that I wake and you aren’t safe in my arms. And every night that I don’t fall asleep to the sound of your breathing.” 

Elenia felt the slow exhale this drew from her lover. The gradual relaxing of muscles beneath her hands that were always a little too tense.

“Have you eaten?” She asked softly as she turned her head and brushed her lips against her General’s sharp jaw. 

“I would never come to you unfed. Lest you worry yourself into an early grave.” She pulled back, finally - just enough that her lover could move if she wished. But she didn’t. She simply reached out and ran her hand down her lover’s cool, thick armor from the center of her chest to the buckle of her sword belt. 

“Then come to bed.” 

Lireesa took a step forward and Elenia’s fingertips hooked into her belt, tugging it gently until they were pressed together once more. 

“You were cleaning. I can help you.” She murmured as she took in the soft glow of her lover’s eyes. Not quite blue. Not quite green. And her scent. Raw flour and bread and the faintest hints of lavender. 

“It can wait. Believe me. When do you need to leave?” Elenia reached up and rested her hand along Lireesa’s cheek - running the tip of her thumb along the dark, delicate brow that had been split in the middle. She could still remember when her lover had turned up with that scar. How she’d fretted over the bandage and how still Lireesa had been for her that night when she’d cleaned it and changed her dressing. So long ago. 

“Not until tomorrow evening. You still have an apprentice, don’t you? I had hoped-”

“She can handle things tomorrow. Now, please. Come upstairs with me.” 

She walked behind Elenia up the narrow staircase - a hand rested along her lower back as she ducked her head to avoid the floor hitting her before they surfaced in the baker’s spacious, warm loft. 

“Now. Let me see you. It’s been too long.” Elenia’s voice was always so gentle. And never was it more gentle than in moments like these. When she worked every familiar buckle lose - every lace. She didn’t struggle with the weight of the scaled cuirass when she removed it. Years of kneading and lifting had seen to that. She leaned the beautiful piece of armor against the back of the armchair near the door and then rid her of the high-collared, sleeveless undershirt that did most of the job of protecting her skin from it. 

Her fingertips traced lines of muscle so hard and defined it used to cause her worry. There was scarcely an inch of her lover’s body that wasn’t sculpted into usefulness. She was a walking weapon and she always had been. But not here. Not with her. And as her fingertips found the bindings that kept her breasts pressed against her chest Lireesa lifted a hand to stroke along her arm while she worked - lightly enough that she wouldn’t hamper her efforts. But enough that Elenia could finally feel the callouses on her fingertips and her palm. 

Elenia discarded the soft linen wrappings and stroked slowly up the front of Lireesa’s body - finding the imprints the bindings had left in her chest before she lowered her head and instead found them with her lips. 

Lireesa’s own lips parted as she sighed softly and bowed her head, reaching for the tie that held Elenia’s hair in its usual loose, messy bun and pulling it free gently so that waves of the warmest chestnut hair she’d ever seen fell against cloth of the simple white shirt she wore. 

“You look like you’ve been in the field for months.” Elenia murmured as she stroked along the faint bruising that always came with the wearing of heavy armor for days on end. 

“You always say that.” Lireesa husked in response as she reached for her own sword belt and unbuckled it - gathering it along with her sheathed blade in her hand to settle it across the arms of the chair the rest of her armor was already situated in. 

“Mm. And you’d think sometime after the first fifty years or so you might have started putting a little more meat on your bones. Yet, here we are.” 

But it was difficult to maintain her slightly teasing playfulness as Lireesa looked at her with a faint smile - dressed only in black leather lace-front breeches and boots to match with the cuts of muscle over her hips trailing into her low-slung waistband. 

Lireesa continued watching as a flush rose from Elenia’s cheeks to her ears and spread along what little of her chest was exposed. “Did you bring me up here to scold me, Elle?” She asked quietly, stepping towards her and leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth as she slowly started guiding her back towards the large bed on the other side of the room. It had been a gift. One that Lireesa had actually insisted Elenia take. She could be a restless sleeper sometimes. It served both of them well. And it especially served them well as Lireesa lifted Elenia up against herself easily and moved onto it on her knees to lay her down against the pillows slowly. 

As her head met the softness of them, Elenia stroked along flexed shoulders and up to give her hair a faint tug as she smiled softly - her eyes lidded heavily and her breaths coming to her more quickly than usual. “Lireesa…” She breathed as the woman allowed her weight to settle against the comfortable softness of her body. 

“Yes, my love?” Lireesa murmured as she turned her head towards the gentle caress given to her ear as Elenia tucked her hair behind it slowly. 

“You just feel so good.” She whispered, watching as Lireesa’s expression softened even more. “And I’m just so glad to have you with me.” 

“I’m very glad to be here.” Lireesa rested her hand gently along the front of Elenia’s throat towards her shirt, unlacing it gradually before she slipped her hand down and pulled it from the front of her leggings slowly. “And you feel indescribable.” She continued as she stroked slowly up her stomach - pulling her shirt up along with her touch and leaning down to kiss just beneath her navel. 

For the next moments, all Elenia could do was lay there as Lireesa found every inch of skin she exposed for herself with her mouth. She occasionally managed a coaxing touch here and there - but when Lireesa was determined to take her time - that was exactly what she was going to do. And gods, did she. Elenia was half mad with want by the time she felt her leggings being slipped down her legs. And the warmth of Lireesa’s breath against her as she brushed her nose between her legs and pressed her lips to the soft mound of flesh she found came before they were even all the way off. 

The way she went about it - when she finally did - drew long, languid moans from her as her thighs were guided apart by the lightest, most tender touches. Another reminder. She could be soft. Gentle. Loving. She was reminded by the way Lireesa exposed her with a hand resting on her lower stomach and her thumb just above where she so desperately needed her touch. Once she’d done that - she felt lips part against herself and the searing heat of the flat of Lireesa’s tongue stroked through her wetness slowly - gathering it and tasting of her. Savoring her.   
And when at long last she gave her what she needed it was Lireesa that groaned the lowest - the loudest. A mixture of passion and possessiveness as she drank of her lover’s pleasure with slow sucking and rhythmic movements of her jaw. 

When Elenia came she nothing short of quaked against the bed as she cried out hoarsely. This was the only time her voice had ever raised with Lireesa. In bed. With passion and hunger and want. Never in anger - in all their years. 

Lireesa found herself dragged up Elenia’s body in short order and her glistening lips hovered over her lover’s as she pressed her hips down against the other woman’s and panted quietly. 

“Enough, Lireesa.” She murmured - still slightly dazed. “You know I want what you do. Please. Stop keeping yourself from me.” The last words were gasped against lips and she savored the taste of herself that she found even as she felt the stretch of fingers inside her. 

Her nails found flexing muscles and damp skin - sliding across it and digging in deeper with every movement. 

“Harder.” She whimpered against Lireesa’s ear. “Let it out. I want it. I want you.” 

And then there were no more words from either of them. Just the sound of Lireesa’s powerful efforts and her own appreciative, breathless moans and gasps. It might have been difficult to tell where one of them began and the other ended - they melded together and moved as one - as they always had. And somehow Elenia found space between them to press her hand into the front of Lireesa’s pants only to find her dripping and so sensitive she lost her rhythm for a moment when she first touched her. 

The slight stumble caused her to press a smile against Lireesa’s cheek as the Ranger-General chuckled breathlessly and kissed the side of her mouth. But soon enough they were working as one to bring each other to their peaks. When they did - they collapsed as one, their arms pinned between them and their breathing labored and ragged. 

But Elenia could feel the soft movements Lireesa still made against her. She was glad for her apprentice. And even more glad as moments turned into hours of languid touching and lovemaking. Sometimes rough - sometimes slow and meandering. 

It was nearly sunrise when Lireesa finally pulled away fully. And for the first time since they’d begun, they weren’t touching. Elenia was exhausted. Utterly spent and aching in the most welcome of ways. She barely managed to focus her vision enough to look over at her lover as she turned onto her stomach and gasped into the pillows. In the soft candlelight, she watched as sweat glistened over the twitching muscles of her arms and her back each time her body heaved for air. 

She gave her time to cool off - time to compose herself. She’d always liked watching her. And she didn’t have to wait long before she was near again. Draped over her in the way she’d always been so fond of - her cheek against the soft comfort of her chest and Elenia’s hand stroking slowly through her hair. 

“Rest a while.” Elenia murmured as she managed to tilt her head down enough to kiss her lover’s temple. “We aren’t as young as we once were.” Her voice trembled when she spoke as did her fingertips in Lireesa’s hair. “Are you thirsty?” 

She felt a faint nod against her chest and glanced toward her end table and thanked whatever gods were listening for the glass of water she’d left there for herself the previous morning. 

They had to help one-another sit up and they leaned into each other as they both shared the glass until it was gone. 

They nearly fell asleep that way but Elenia caught the glass as it almost slipped from Lireesa’s hand and placed it back where it had been before they both fell into the down-feather grace of the mussed pillows and blankets beneath them. 

“Once we’ve slept…” Elenia returned the sleepy kiss as it was given to her before she continued. “We’ll get washed up and catch up, hm?” 

“Mhm. Once we’ve slept.” Lireesa whispered, turning onto her side and pulling Elenia against her body - stroking down her side and along the back of her thigh to guide it up and over her hip. 

Elenia drifted off to the sound of Lireesa’s breathing with one of her hands grasped in the Ranger-General’s between them - any other thoughts too muddled for her to give voice to. They didn’t matter. Lireesa was here. And she would wake with her in her arms.

  


"Shrike"  
Hozier

I couldn't utter my love when it counted  
Ah, but I'm singing like a bird, 'bout it now  
I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted  
Ah, but I'm singing like a bird, 'bout it now

Bites on above  
But never would form  
Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn  
Remember me love, when I'm reborn  
As the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

And I had no idea on what ground I was found in  
All of that goodness is goin' with you now  
Then when I met you my virtues uncounted  
All of my goodness is goin' with you now

Driving alone, following your form  
Hung like the pelt of some prey you had worn  
Remember me love, when I'm reborn  
As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

I fled to the city with so much discounted  
Ah, but I'm flying like a bird to you now  
Back to the hedgerows where bodies are mounted  
Ah, but I'm flying like a bird to you now

I was hatched by your warmth  
And I was transformed  
But you're grounded and giving  
And darkening scorn  
Remember me love, when I'm reborn  
As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

 

  



	4. I Swear This Time I Mean It

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Lireesa woke to the smell of bread baking. It wasn't unusual - nor was it something she was unused to. What she wasn't used to, however, was the fact that Elenia wasn't with her. And the fact that it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours since they'd gone to sleep. She pushed herself up slowly and combed her fingers through her long, dark hair before slipping out of bed and heading towards the bathing room on the far side of her lover’s bedchamber. She leaned down to drink from the enchanted tap for a moment before clearing her vision enough to look at herself in the mirror. The bruise so carefully placed where the side of her neck met her shoulder - where it wouldn't be seen were she clothed - brought a smile to her face and caused the lines beside her eyes to become more defined.

She saw to her next order of business quickly. Locating the black silk robe her lover kept here for her - only to find it hanging near the door she'd just walked in through already waiting for her. Though she knew she hadn’t been meant to find it this early. She slid the fine garment on and tied it as she listened to the quiet voices downstairs. She could hear them even up here now that she was awake. 

She’d always adored the tones Elenia used with her various apprentices over the years. She was so calm - so measured. Even after the gravest mistakes - an entire tray of burnt breads or sweets - an oven fire here and there - Elenia never so much as raised her voice. Truly, she was one of the steadiest people Lireesa had ever known. And it was one of the countless reasons she loved her so. And certainly one of the reasons she couldn’t help but venture towards the door that led to the stairs and down into the bakery itself. 

There wasn’t a single creaky spot in the stairs that she hadn’t long since memorized and she was utterly silent in her descent. So much so that she was able to find a seat halfway down with a rather nice view of the work station Elenia was standing next to her young apprentice at. 

“Mhm. Just like that. Right-hand strand across to the left. Left-hand strand across to the right. Watch.” Elenia’s nimble, strong fingers manipulated the offshoots of dough easily - working slowly so that the young woman next to her could follow her motions. “This one into the middle. And to replace it we push this one out. Never leave a pocket between the strands. You don’t want any air pockets along the bottom - and you want your braid tight and even all along the length. You see - as I continue the pattern there’s a defined line down the middle. It’s perfectly symmetrical. Finish this one up for me. Let me see.” 

Elenia took a step back and wiped her flour-covered hands along the front of her apron as she watched carefully - a pleased smile slowly gracing her features as the apprentice finished braiding the loaf without so much as a backward glance. “Perfect, Velendra. You’ll surpass me, soon and then whatever shall I do with myself?” 

The young woman couldn’t help but laugh at that. Elenia was well known in Silvermoon. Anyone who was anyone came to her for everything from a simple loaf to the finest cakes for the most royal of occasions.  


“Set it aside. Let it rest and then we’ll get it into the oven. How are the saffron and sage buns looking?” She asked as she made her way over to one of the nearby proofing drawers located beneath the ovens. Even without them baking Lireesa could smell them from where she sat and it made her eyes shut for a moment before they opened again. 

“Very good. Give them perhaps another quarter hour and then get them going, as well. That should be enough for the day. And can you tell me why we add the spices before we proof them?”

“Yes, Lady Elenia. And we add the spices first so their flavor will impart before they even bake. Will you be going back upstairs, now?” The young woman glanced over her shoulder towards them and froze as her eyes fell on the casually sprawled Ranger-General. She was quite a striking sight. So out of place against the simple brown wood she rested against. Not to mention the contrast of her robe and hair against her skin. It wasn’t often anyone saw her with her hair down...in a robe. With most of her well-muscled legs exposed and a faintly amused smirk on her face. No, it wasn’t often anyone saw her like that, at all. 

“I...Forgive me, Ranger-General.” She stammered as she bowed her head and turned to hide the flush that rose in her face and along her ears. 

Elenia simple chuckled softly and turned her attention to her lover. “Have you been there long, my love? I wish you wouldn’t do this to all my apprentices. It takes them long enough as it is to get used to the fact that I entertain such important company. And then you assault them with that look. It’s almost as though you enjoy the attention.”

“Enjoy attention?” Lireesa asked - her already low voice an almost sultry purr as she stood reluctantly now that she’d been found out. Her eyes were half-lidded as she turned her full attention to Elenia. “Me? To be accused of such a thing...I’m positively affronted.” 

“You’re positively distracting, is what you are. Go upstairs. Rest. I’ll join you soon and then we’ll rest some more.”

“As you wish.” She murmured in response before disappearing the way she’d come - and just as silently. 

Elenia turned to look at Velendra - her expression soft and sympathetic with a hint of a smile as the girl chanced a look in her direction. “Lady Elenia I didn’t mean to-”

“To stare? Child, please. I’ve known her longer than you’ve been alive and I still catch myself staring quite often.” She reached out to stroke over the young woman’s shoulder and nodded towards the loaf they’d finished braiding. “Go ahead and get that panned and ready to bake. And I’ll go upstairs once I’ve finished making her breakfast.”

“Is that why you came down? I’m sorry if I distracted you...I can handle things down here, you know? Really. And I can run a couple of hand pies upstairs to you later so you won’t have to come down again.” Velendra spoke even as she moved the heavy loaf onto a baking tray on the parchment it had been resting on - her hands steady and careful so as not to ruin the rather intricate work they’d done. 

“It’s no bother, Velendra. None at all. Now - we had some brioche left from yesterday, didn’t we?”

“Yes, I think so. On the middle rack to the right of ovens.” 

Elenia retrieved the loaf she’d been asking after and felt of its firmness before moving towards the oven with a flat top meant for cooking over the heat that was already used to bake with. With a rather tedious amount of care, she cut two thick slices from the loaf and set them aside to allow them to get a touch dryer before she started work on the custard the pieces would soak in. 

She worked quickly and easily - unbothered by the other woman working around her. Neither of them got in one another’s way. The girl had learned long ago how to move around her in a way that wouldn’t bother either of them and they worked in comfortable silence. 

Eventually, Elenia had a thick, creamy custard spiked with elderberry rum - a compliment to the berries already reducing on the top of the stove sprinkled with a healthy dose of fine crystals of sugar to temper the slight tang of them. 

When she was satisfied with the custard she scooped some of the creamed cheese they’d been using for a new kind of roll and whipped a small amount of honey into it - just enough to sweeten it and soften it enough before she sliced into the sides of each piece of bread and stuffed the mixture into them carefully. With that done she set them both into the dish of custard to soak as she located an aged, blackened iron pan and sat it on the stove to begin heating. 

“That smells wonderful. She’s a lucky woman.” 

Elenia looked up at her apprentice as she flipped the slices and chuckled. “I’m rather lucky, myself, child. She deserves a good meal. She does much for our people. And much for me.” 

By the time she finished she had produced a beautiful plate. The slices had been cut so the honeyed cream cheese was visible and the crust she’d formed was golden and crisp against the almost pudding-like consistency of the custard-soaked bread. A healthy portion of berry reduction and a sprinkling of fine icing sugar topped her creation off and she pulled two mugs down from a nearby cabinet, filling them both with a particular dry cider that Lireesa had always been most fond of when she ate sweet things. 

With everything situated on a tray she nodded at her apprentice before retreating back upstairs to find Lireesa waiting for her - propped up with her shoulders against the headboard. The sleepy, adoring gaze she received as she nudged the door shut again with her hip was more than enough reward for her early-morning labors. But the rewards didn’t stop with a look. 

Lireesa took the tray from her carefully as she approached the bed and sat it to the side before reaching for her and guiding her down into a slow, tender kiss that warmed every fiber of her being. “Thank you.” Lireesa whispered against her lips as Elenia traced the line of her jaw before recieving another kiss. “Thank you for everything.” 

“Mm...you haven’t even tasted it yet. It could be terrible for all you know.” Elenia feigned her protest into yet another slow, languid meeting of lips before she was drawn onto Lireesa’s lap. 

They shared their breakfast quietly and the Ranger-General did little to hide how much she enjoyed her lover’s level of skill in this area. She didn’t fancy the kinds of gatherings that warranted this level of cooking so this was one of the few times she indulged herself in it. And she fed Elenia a bite here and there as well. But the favor was only returned each time until both slices were gone and she could set the plate aside on the table next to the bed. 

“You already know that was wonderful, Elle.” Lireesa murmured sleepily before finishing off her cider and allowing Elenia to place both their cups near the cleaned plate they’d already finished with. 

“I’m so very glad.” The baker murmured in response before reaching for the tie of her robe and helping her slip out of it. “But I wish you hadn’t let me get flour all over you. You do that far too often.” 

Lireesa chuckled but it was soft - a low, quiet sound in her chest and the back of her throat that was so warm to Elenia it almost hurt. But in the most exquisite of ways. 

“I don’t mind having flour on me. You’ve always known that.” She husked softly as she helped Elenia remove the clothes she’d hastily donned that morning. Once they were both comfortable again - their warm bodies pressed together beneath the sheets - they turned naturally to face one-another and Elenia found her hands combing through hair she’d always had a difficult time keeping them out of. 

“How are things out there, Lireesa? Really? How are the kids?”

“Things are quiet, my love.” She murmured soothingly though her eyelids fluttered faintly as fingertips traced along her scalp slowly. “And they’re doing so well. Alleria just got back from the field. She’s an extraordinary Ranger. But we’ve all known that for a long while, now. And Sylvanas...gods, Sylvanas. She’s so smart. She’s so incredibly smart. I should think within the next couple of years I’ll take her on a trip to the bakery. She’ll understand. She understands things so easily. And you should hear the questions she asks, I...I think she’s the one. I think she’ll make a fine General. And I think she wants it. I know she does.” She let a certain measure of hope shine through with Elenia that she guarded from her husband. He worried enough as it was. He didn’t need to know how relieved Lireesa was to have finally produced an heir able and willing to bear the weight she’d carried for so long. 

“That is so good to hear.” Elenia searched those silvery, softly glowing eyes and touched along the lines beside them and down along the side of her neck towards her shoulder. She grazed the mark she’d left there the night before kneading the hard muscle beside it. “And you, beloved? How are you?”

Lireesa was quiet for a moment - thinking about the question and its implications. Not in order to hide anything from Elenia. Never to hide anything from her. Just to get used to the fact that she didn’t need to again. Every time. 

“I’ve been better.” She finally whispered, tilting her head to the side with a faint grown as Elenia found a knot that had been bothering her for days and began working it out of her. “I don’t have the stamina I used to. Every now and again I find night watches difficult. Old wounds have started giving me fits…”

“You’ve been fighting for so long.” Elenia’s voice was so soft it was almost inaudible and it caused one of Lireesa’s ears to shift faintly - the leaf dangling from it making a soft noise as it brushed against the ridge of the underside of it. “Longer than anyone under your command. Longer than any other General. When she is ready - let her take it from you. Please. So that there may be something left of you that Quel’Thalas hasn’t already taken.” 

“You know that I will. You know that I’m ready.” Lireesa opened her eyes so that Elenia could see them but only barely. She was exhausted. And even as breathtaking as she was that was plain enough to see. In the slight darkness beneath her eyes and the shallowness of her breathing. 

Elenia pressed closer to her until they were a tangle of limbs and the larger woman’s head rested just beneath her own so she could find her hair with her fingers again. “That’s all I ask.” Her lips brushed Lireesa’s hair as she spoke before she kissed the top of her head. “That you keep letting me love you and that you keep coming back to me. That’s all I’ve always asked. And all I ever will.” 

“The loving part is easy.” Lireesa’s response was slightly muffled but she didn’t move to be more easily heard. After so many years Elenia could understand her regardless. “You love me so well. And I love you with my all. That will never change. 

“Shh, Lireesa. Rest. Please. No more waking up until we’ve both gotten enough sleep.” 

It would have been impossible to disobey that gentle order even if she’d wanted to. She was already half gone when the words met her ears. And then came the soft, gentle humming that had soothed her to sleep countless times before. It was no different this time. And Elenia clung to consciousness as long as she could to listen to her quiet breaths as she sang for her without words. 

And sleep, she did. So very deeply - cradled in an embrace of warmth, softness, and love that was so unique to Elenia. So familiar and so needed and so very perfect. There had been a great span of time before Aravath and her children and her baker that she’d have scoffed at the very idea of needing any of this. But that time had long since passed. She was a hardened warrior. An efficient, ruthless killer. 

But she loved her family. And this woman was just an extension of that. Another reason to keep fighting - to keep protecting the lands and the peoples she had served for so long. And she would continue doing that for as long as she needed to. 

The comfort that waited for her at home and in this little bakery in Silvermoon gave her all the strength that age and weariness were slowly taking from her. And she would go back into the field renewed as she always did. Renewed and ready to do what needed to be done.

 

"I Swear This Time I Mean It"  
Mayday Parade

Oh Florida, please be still tonight  
Don't disturb this love of mine  
Look how she's so serene  
You've gotta help me out

And count the stars to form in lines  
And find the words we'll sing in time  
I want to keep her dreaming  
It's my one wish, I won't forget this

I'm outdated, overrated  
Morning seems so far away

So I'll sing a melody  
And hope to God she's listening  
Sleeping softly while I sing  
And I'll be your memories  
Your lullaby for all the times  
Hoping that my voice could get it right

If luck is on my side tonight  
My clumsy tongue will make it right  
And wrists that touch  
It isn't much, but it's enough  
To form imaginary lines  
Forget your scars, we'll forget mine  
The hours change so fast  
Oh God, please make this last

You could crush me  
Please don't crush me  
'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure  
And I won't let you down  
I swear this time I mean it

And I'll sing a melody  
And hope to God she's listening  
Sleeping softly while I sing  
And I'll be your memories  
Your lullaby for all the times  
Hoping that my voice could get it right


	5. Lost

  
[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“What if I don’t find you?” Sylvanas’s voice was all too serious for such a young thing. And it made Lireesa smirk faintly.

“If you don’t find me in an hour I’ll find you. But I’ve no doubt you’ll succeed. Do you have everything you need?” Lireesa was dressed lightly today. All dark, ruddy leathers with a simple hunting knife on her belt and an even simpler bow slung across her back. Her hair was pulled back and her face was marked with coal to break up the lines of it lest Sylvanas spot her in a way that might constitute ‘cheating’. She wanted her to be able to track. But not just track. She wanted her to surpass even herself. In all things. 

And the quicker they started the more confident she could be that her youngest daughter would excel at not only being a ranger - but at being the best of them. And as she watched Sylvanas check herself over - the various ties of her light leather clothing and the fit of her boots along with the short sword she was carrying, and even the count of arrows in her quiver - she knew that was becoming more and more likely every day. 

“I’m ready.” 

Lireesa smiled warmly and moved to kneel in front of her. Sylvanas was almost taller than her when she did this, now, but not quite. And she re-checked everything that had already been looked over before pulling a ball of cotton from the pouch on her belt. “You certainly are. Very good. Now - you know how I’ve taught you to keep time when you can neither see nor hear? Do that now. Twenty minutes. In twenty minutes you will come find me.” 

Sylvanas nodded her understanding and Lireesa carefully pressed cotton into her ears before producing a strip of cloth and tying it firmly around her eyes. She knew Sylvanas would still be able to hear through it - but not enough to have an absolute idea of where she was going. Certainly not with how quiet Lireesa was able to be. 

With a light kiss to her forehead and a squeeze of her shoulder, Lireesa was off - and scarcely a leaf was disturbed by her swift, deft feet as she moved into the trees. 

All the times before she’d been careful to leave just enough of a trace of her passing for Sylvanas to follow her with relative ease. But not this time. This time she traversed the none too familiar paths and streams she’d brought them to as though she were hiding herself from the fiercest of enemies. 

She crossed streams. She backtracked. She took the trees for a time. The Ranger-General didn’t stop moving until she needed a moment to breathe. 

It had been nearly two hours, she smelled rain coming - and their light was quickly running out. 

Finally, she decided to stop. To wait. Blended in with the roots and bark of the ancient tree she’d come to nestle against. It was time, now, to listen. To the creatures and how they responded as well as to the forest itself. She would know when Sylvanas was coming. She just wasn’t sure how long it would take her. She wasn’t even sure she, herself, could have followed the trail she’d made.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Sylvanas’s fourteen years of life, this was perhaps the most difficult challenge that had been set before her. Her head ached and her calves burned as she squinted at the ground while she moved deeper and deeper into the forest. Even when the rain came she kept moving. Sputtering and shivering now and then but never giving up.

Now and then she would kneel and touch the edge of a suspicious looking track. Her mother hadn’t left many - and usually, the intentional ones were some sort of trick. This one was no different. She recognized the depth of it in the heel that would suggest she might have pushed herself the opposite way of the direction it was actually pointing. 

She guessed right. After a few moments, she found a fresh scrape on a tree trunk that might suggest it had been recently climbed. She followed that, as well - up into the branches. 

Lireesa was easier to track this way if you somehow managed to follow her this high. Tiny, inconspicuous broken branches and marks from boot-heels on delicate paperbark. Sylvanas was breathing heavily by the time the upper trail ended and she dropped down from a low hanging branch - wilted and sputtering and kneeling for a moment to gather herself. But she didn’t allow herself to sink down into the wet moss as uncomfortably cool droplets of water punished ears left exposed by the slits in the hood of her cloak. 

She pushed herself up more quickly than, perhaps, even a seasoned warrior might have. And once her face was wiped down for what felt like the hundredth time that evening she pressed on. In the darkness, her sharp, glowing eyes caught sight of lynx here and there as well as a shape or two in the shadows she didn’t recognize. But she had her bow at the ready - held down beside her leg and half-drawn as she looked around warily when she found herself in a clearing. 

Her hair hung half out of her hood - damp with sweat and rain and slightly wavy as a result - and her ears shifted and pivoted faintly in response to each and every sound. 

More deer. More lynx. A rabbit here and there. But no sign of her mother. 

She swallowed thickly against the concern that had begun to rise in the back of her throat. She hadn’t expected to make camp tonight but she knew it was becoming almost inevitable the later it got. She was freezing and exhausted and every muscle in her body screamed at her in protest at the thought of continuing. 

“Come on.” She whispered to herself - shocked at how raspy her own voice was. “Come on, you’ve got this. Let’s go.” 

She winced as a fresh drop of rain salted with the dampness in her hair slipped into her eyes and cleared them with another swipe of the back of her head as she nearly stumbled. And when she did she noticed another disturbance of leaves that drew her attention.

This wasn’t her mother’s boot print. It was too large...it was...she’d never seen anything like it. Half of it was missing, true enough, but…

The worry that suddenly rose within her like the swell of a wave drove her into a sudden burst of movement. But the worry wasn’t for herself. Even as capable as Lireesa was - she was still her mother. And she was still alone. And the track was heading _away_ from where she’d deduced Lireesa had gone. 

The next time she burst into the openness of a clearing there were cuts in her leathers from her hasty passage through a thicket she hadn’t taken the time to navigate around and a few of them were darkened with a small amount of blood. 

Lireesa felt her heart twinge at the sight of her daughter. She’d been sitting so long she’d gone stiff and she’d pushed any worry she felt down so stubbornly it returned with renewed vigor at the way she shivered and how soaked she was from head to toe. The cuts weren’t so bad. She’d come home with worse plenty of times. But the panic in her eyes and the way she held her bow at the ready was a new side of her. It was a welcome sight...one that spoke of promise for what she would someday become - but as a mother, it was difficult to stay put when all she wanted to do was run to her.

Sylvanas’s brow furrowed as she peered into the darkness and listened harder than she ever had in her life. She moved slowly and carefully but her steps still disturbed a rabbit who had hidden in the thick grass she was moving through and her head snapped in its direction as she heard it veer off its path of escape and watched the damp earth its powerful sideways leap kicked up fall back down where it had come from. 

Something had scared it. Something it hadn’t seen until it was almost too close to avoid it. 

There was no fear in her eyes as she began moving towards where the maneuver had occurred and Lireesa waited with bated breath as she drew nearer and nearer until she realized the strange-looking tree trunk was actually broken by the lines of her mother. 

For just an instant the thoughts of the strange track she’d found fled her mind as she released the tension on her bow and ran forward only to find herself swept up into Lireesa’s arms and drawn tightly against her chest. 

“My girl, my girl, look at you. Look at you.” Lireesa breathed as Sylvanas clung to her and she pressed kisses to her face and her hood before pulling it back to check her for injuries wherever she currently could. “You’ve done so, so well, Sylvanas. I’m so very proud of you. Are you alright?”

Her daughter merely nodded as she grasped handfuls of her mother’s tunic in her hands, pressing her face against her shoulder and then gradually pulling away to slip back to the ground she’d come from. “I’m sorry it took so long...I...I tried so hard. It was so difficult this time, and-”

“Nonsense.” Lireesa cut her off almost immediately as she pulled at the strap of the bag that was swung across her back beneath her quiver and opened it, producing a waterproof, oiled cloak and reaching for the clasp holding Sylvanas’s heavy, wet one across her chest. That had been on purpose, too. It had all been. From the weather she’d been tracking to how heavy her clothing had gotten in the rain and the fact that they were just past the edge of the spells that kept their home warmer than the surrounding areas. 

Softness now would do little for her when she was older. At best she would be useless to their military - and that would’ve been fine with her, too, if she was being honest. But the death that would almost certainly result from weakness in her youth? That was the worst that could come of it. And that was what she wanted to avoid at all costs. 

“There are fully trained rangers that wouldn’t have found me. Officers that might not have found me until morning...you are brilliant. You are so good, child. I am proud to call you my daughter. Do you understand?” 

She rubbed her hands along Sylvanas’s arms over the dry warmth of the cloak she’d replaced the girl’s discarded one with and looked into her eyes until she received a faint smile and a nod in response. “Good. Now let’s get you home. Let’s get you fed and dry and warm, hm?”

“Wait…” 

Lireesa went silent as a rush of concern flooded Sylvanas’s youthful features - though they were slimmer now. More defined. She would have a sharp jawline...high cheekbones. Just like her. She would be beautiful some day. She would command attention just by walking into a room. And that was good. That was good for a General. But that was also the least of Lireesa’s concerns right now. 

“I saw a track. Not too far back. It was...it was at least twice the size of yours, or even dad’s. And I only saw one...I think because of the rain.” 

“Okay. Was it familiar to you? Was it one that you’ve learned?”

“The front ball was missing. It was only the back half and I’m not sure...all I know is that it was humanoid.”

Lireesa stood slowly and rested a hand along the back of her daughter’s head, stroking it through her hood as she peered into the forest where she’d come from. “Can you take me to it? I’m afraid whatever it is is between us and home and it would be best if I found it before it finds us.” 

Sylvanas looked up at her mother and the grave expression on her face. Something in her had changed. Perhaps anyone other than Sylvanas might have found the shift slightly worrying - especially taking into account the way the charcoal on her face had begun to run down along her cheeks and darken more of her skin. It only made the iciness of her eyes all the more piercing. 

But Sylvanas only felt safer, even, than she had before. “I remember where it was.”

“Then let’s go. Stay close to me. And listen well.” 

They made quite the pair as they moved almost as one - Lireesa finding each of Sylvanas’s light boot prints with her own steps to keep their tracks as one instead of two. She had always kept her enemies as unaware as possible. And even if she wasn’t yet sure this was an enemy it was only natural, now. Something that could never be undone - so deeply was this behavior ingrained in her. 

It didn’t take long for them to find the track now that Sylvanas had a specific location to search for and Lireesa’s eyes only met it for a moment before they flashed almost dangerously and she reached to her back for her bow. 

“Head towards home.” She whispered. “No more than two paces away from me at any given time. And stay beneath my arrows if I have to shoot them. Fully on the ground if possible. Understood?”

She’d just had a contingent scout this area two days prior so she highly doubted it was more than one or two encroachers at best but even one threat was enough. Especially taking into consideration her daughter was with her. 

They walked in utter silence - Sylvanas with her short sword drawn so as not to take up space that her mother might sorely need with her own bow were she to find herself needing to loose a shot. 

While Sylvanas got slightly less wary after a while, Lireesa never seemed to change. She’d never seen her mother behave so...intensely before. She was like a panther. In nearly every way. From the glint of her eyes glowing in the darkness against her coal-masked face to the way she could see her muscles bunching against the wet, clinging confines of her leathers. 

Lireesa was thankful she’d had the foresight to start teaching Sylvanas hand signals years prior - she was as well-versed in them now as any Ranger was - and they were useful. Terrifyingly so - as Lireesa spotted more of the same tracks on their path and began hearing noises that weren’t natural for this area, nor this time of night. 

It was the snap of a twig that drew the sharpest signal from her and Sylvanas went stock still as Lireesa’s ears shifted. Behind them. Directly behind them. 

The next signal was simple. Don’t move. Don’t get down. Don’t run. Don’t turn. Do. Not. Move. But all in one quick flick of her fingers as they moved to the nock of her arrow, ready to be drawn and deadly in the span of half a breath. 

“Well, well, well. What we have here? The two of ya are far from Elf lands, don't you think? And so late, too.” The accent was heavy and distinctive. But Lireesa had been expecting it. She’d been listening to them following them for quite some time, now. Two. Perhaps three. But no more. 

“Far from Elf lands?” She asked cooly as she turned her head a bit more when she could _feel_ one of the trolls approach. “These are my forests, Troll. It is you who is far from home. I would give you the opportunity to return to where you belong. This is the only such opportunity you will be presented with.”

They didn’t recognize her. Thas’dorah was back home. With her regalia. With everything that made her the feared Ranger-General of Quel’thalas. And that was their first mistake. 

Their second came quickly. 

“We're only curious. Ain’t often we see one of your...runts out this way. Maybe we just wanna play.” 

She didn’t even have to look. She loosed the arrow the instant she turned and counted two more that weren’t currently clutching arrow shafts as they fell to their knees. 

“Get down. Now.” She whispered sharply as Sylvanas pressed closer to her. “Between my feet.” 

She obeyed wordlessly and instantly, clutching her sword in her hand as she dropped to her knees and crawled between the shoulder-width spread of her mother’s legs to lay on her belly with her arms tucked carefully out of her way. 

“She your daughter, then, Old Woman? Fine pet she’d be, too.” There was a sneer, then, as the troll shifted into a more threatening stance, the polearm he wielded mere feet from Lireesa’s face. “I was pretty fond of that one you just killed. Might only be fair for you to pay in a pound of flesh of your own.” 

The third troll hung back - his eyes narrowed as he seemed to be working at a problem in his mind. That had been a damn good shot. And there wasn’t any way she’d aimed before she’d loosed. She’d shot by sound. 

“Maybe we should be goin’, then.” He finally spoke lowly to his slightly scrappier counterpart who merely spat on the ground in a show of disdain for the idea of running from a child and an _old woman_.

“That offer no longer stands.” Lireesa muttered darkly as she reached for another arrow. The nearest troll rushed her before she got it to her bow but he only made it a step or two further once she’d drawn before he fell, just as pinioned and just as dead as the first.

The third knew better than to try and run once that move had been made and he was so close Lireesa could do little aside from meet him in his charge. She stepped over Sylvanas, leaving her on the ground to push herself up and back away frantically - her heels kicking up dirt and moss as she did so. 

The struggle was terrifying to watch. Her mother was so incredibly small compared to the troll she was grappling with. He managed to use his weight to get her to the ground and Sylvanas thought of rushing to help her mother in a moment of panic. 

And yet, somehow...it became clear very quickly that she was much stronger. Much faster. And before he knew what was happening Lireesa had pulled him to his feet and was behind him with her knife to his throat. Her teeth were bared as he reached up to grip at her hand that was tangled in the shock of hair that stood atop his head. 

“Don’t.” He gasped out as the blade first began to nick the front of his neck. “I’ll be leaving. You’ll never be seein’ my face again. You have my word.” 

“Your word means little to me.” She hissed against his ear. 

“Sylvanas - go. Now. I’ll find you.” 

Her eyes flashed to her daughter as her thighs tensed to lock her feet more firmly against the ground when the troll began to struggle again. But he didn’t get away. She wouldn’t allow that. Not now. 

And she watched as her daughter shook her head and stood. She was shaken. Scared. But she wasn’t leaving. 

“You…you the General, then?” He asked as his eyes glazed over slightly in resignation. 

He received no response.

And Sylvanas simply watched in silence as her mother’s blade ended the troll’s lift swiftly - carving a deep rivet across his neck before she let his large, unwieldy body slide to the ground in front of her.

She nearly went to her knees with him. She’d been at it all day and that, coupled with how stiff she’d gotten in the cool damp of the clearing hadn’t done much for her at all. Nor did the slight pull she felt in her hamstring from a rather sharp tug he’d given her in his attempts to regain the upper hand. She wiped her blade on her cloak as he bled out before she sheathed it and retrieved her bow, still breathing heavily with her lips parted as Sylvanas continued to stand a few paces away from her with a mixture of pride and nausea on her face. “You didn’t need to see that.” Lireesa husked as she made her way over to her and lowered herself to one knee with a thinly veiled wince. 

She reached for her daughter’s shoulders and stroked her thumbs over them before moving her hands to cradle her face. 

“I felt like I did.” She whispered meekly in response.

“Are you hurt?” Lireesa asked, then - her voice gentling slightly for her daughter’s sake even as her pulse still hammered in her ears. 

“No. No, I’m okay. But you’re hurt.” Her voice finally cracked, then. And tears began to sting her eyes as she reached for her mother, wiping at the dirt and grime that had been scrubbed into a light scrape on her cheek before she collapsed against her. 

Lireesa caught her. Of course, she did. And she enveloped her in her arms and stroked along her back and through her hair inside her hood as she shushed her gently in her ear. “It’s okay.” She whispered when Sylvanas seemed to have finally cried herself out with a mixture of genuine relief and exhaustion. “It’s okay to cry. You were calm when it mattered. That’s what counts. Never forget that. Never ignore this side of yourself when it isn’t absolutely necessary.” 

Sylvanas nodded weakly into the crook of her neck and she stood, ignoring the soreness in her leg as Sylvanas wrapped her own around her hips and looped her arms around her neck. 

She traversed a great many miles that night carrying her daughter against herself. And at some point she knew by the limpness in her body that she’d fallen into a fitful sleep - stirring against her every so often. But Lireesa only held her closer each time. And when they finally made it back to the spires Aravath was waiting for them in the doorway. He’d been up all night.

His smile faded quickly at the sight of his wife - his eyes shifting from the scrape on her cheek to the tears in the knees of breeches that weren’t suited for combat. And the way she limped slightly as she walked. 

The little cuts in Sylvanas’s clothes didn’t so much worry him. He recognized they were from briars...but there was no reason for Lireesa to look the way she did. 

“Stop fretting. Draw her a bath. I don’t need her getting sick and she needs to be warm and clean and in bed in short order.”

“Of course.” He murmured in response as he shut the door behind him and cast one last worried glance at his wife before rushing up their stairs. It was quick work with his magic in use and now was certainly a time to use it if ever there was one. 

“Lireesa...let me-”

“I’ve got her.” She responded almost sharply as she cut her eyes at him outside their bathroom. The shift in her tone caused Sylvanas to stir in her arms and her expression shifted from agitation to regret. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to speak to you like that, Aravath. But I need you to let me be with her. I need you to understand.” She shifted her daughter’s weight against her and hid her own discomfort from him carefully as she moved into the bathing room and roused her as she began to get her ruined clothes off of her. 

“Don’t apologize. But do tell me what’s happened when you’re able. Shall I make sure you both have something ready to eat when you’re done with your bath, or…”

Sometimes he felt out of place. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t know the correct things to do or to say.

But Lireesa smiled at him softly and it reassured him almost immediately. “That sounds perfect, Vath. She’ll likely eat hers in the morning - but I wouldn’t mind a bite while I catch you up. In bed, if you can handle the idea of me eating in bed.” 

The relief in his eyes was evident and he returned her smile before heading downstairs as Lireesa helped Sylvanas into the tub and got moved to the washbasin nearby to clean herself as she bathed. 

She paused in her task, though, at a quiet, apprehensive “Mom” from behind her.

“Mm, yes, my darling girl?” She responded as she looked over at her - smiling to see her hanging over the edge of the tub looking well and truly ready for bed. 

“Did I do alright?”

Lireesa tossed her soiled rag onto the edge of the basin and reached for her nearby robe before heading for the tub to help her daughter out of it and wrap her in a thick, magically warmed towel. “You did better than alright. You were perfect. I couldn’t have asked for you to handle yourself in a different way. You are so grown up, Sylvanas. Do you know that?’ 

“Mm, I guess so. Night, Mom.” She spoke through a yawn and began heading towards her bedroom without even bothering to dry herself. Lireesa followed the wet trail of footprints she left behind and watched her shed her towel and climb into her bed before moving to sit on the edge of it. 

She reached out and carefully combed her wet hair from her face as her tired, heavy-lidded eyes looked at her.

“Do you want to talk about it tonight? Do you have any questions?”

“No...I...well. Well, I guess I...why didn’t you let him go?” 

Lireesa cradled Sylvanas’s cheek. She was glad she was questioning her. She was always glad when her daughter had questions. 

“Sometimes mercy isn’t something we can afford to give. Perhaps I didn’t need him returning to his people telling them about my daughter. Perhaps we can’t afford to let any of them go once they pass our borders or more and more and more of them will come. Does that make sense?”

Sylvanas nodded and reached for her mother’s hand on her face, holding it for a moment before she heaved a sigh and turned onto her stomach, pulling her pillow close and burying her face in it. 

Lireesa stroked her back for a moment before leaning down to kiss her cheek and then slipping quietly from her room to let her rest. But she found her eyes on her daughter’s small form beneath her covers as she shut the door slowly. So much of her heart was in that bed with that child. So very much of the good in her. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

"Lost"  
Dermot Kennedy

When everything was broken  
The Devil hit his second stride  
But you remember what I told ya  
Someday I'll need your spine to hide behind  
For fear of moments stolen  
I don't wanna say goodnight  
But I'll still see you in the morning  
Still know your heart and still know both your eyes

I could've told you 'bout the long nights  
How no one loves the birds that don't rise  
So you can tell the heroes go hide  
My sense of wonder's just a little tired

If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine  
And I know you'd never leave me behind  
But I am lost this time  
Are we destined to burn, or will we last the night?  
I will hold you til I hold you right  
If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine

So we'll run into the open  
Keep your hand inside of mine  
And then when everything is over  
I hope to think of this as better times  
The sky got red and swollen  
I guess I never see the signs  
There can't be songs for every soldier  
It can't be solace every time you cry

I could've told you 'bout the long nights  
How no one loves the birds that don't rise  
So you can tell the heroes go hide  
My sense of wonder's just a little tired

If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine  
And I know you'd never leave me behind  
But I am lost this time  
Are we destined to burn, or will we last the night?  
I will hold you til I hold you right  
If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine

I was lost 'til I found you  
Now these songs will hold and hide your name  
All at once was all about you  
Since that night the moon has never seemed the same

If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine  
I know you'd never leave me behind  
But I am lost this time

What if the love you deserve is love you never find?  
I've learned in love and death we don't decide  
If only you could see yourself in my eyes  
You'd see you shine, you shine


	6. Timshel

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

The days went by quickly. For all of them. And then they turned to months. Then years. And no amount of wishing could slow any of it down.

Lireesa watched Sylvanas become a young woman that she was both proud of and scared for. She couldn’t help it. The way she carried herself even at barely eighteen years of age was more stately and graceful than many mature elves she knew. She carried herself like a warrior. Like a leader. 

That was, in public. But - right now - she was sprawled along their couch asleep in a way that could only remind her of Alleria. She was tired. Lireesa knew that all too well. She’d been putting her through her paces every day for the entirety of her two weeks of leave and what parts of her daughter weren’t bruised or scraped were otherwise extremely sore. 

But she was glad to see her look, at least somewhat, like the teen she actually was. All lanky legs and arm - almost sinewy in her build. And her platinum hair had a faint wave to it that she had only just begun to learn how to tame. 

She’d been asleep all day, actually. But that was only because Lireesa had just kept her awake for two. And both her and Aravath had done their best to stay quiet - though she wasn’t entirely sure Sylvanas wouldn’t have slept through a pride of lynx ransacking their living room. 

Aravath reached out and brushed her arm lightly as she watched her daughter and she slowly averted her attention to him - her tired, icy eyes regarding him warmly, somehow. 

“Dinner. You should wake her. Did you let her eat while you were out?” He asked in a volume that wouldn’t have disturbed even the lightest of sleepers. He’d learned to be quiet over his years with Lireesa or she’d have never gotten any sleep. 

“I did not.” She responded just as softly. “Nor did I allow myself to.”

His brow furrowed slightly in immediate concern and his expression was nothing short of admonishing. 

“Lireesa, you’ve already been up for going on three days and now you’re-”

“I will go without if my child is to go without. You know this, Aravath. But...yes. I’ll wake her.” 

Even she could admit when she’d had enough. And gods, had she. She was fading fast. Every bone and joint in her body ached and her stomach panged with hunger. Though those things were much less obvious than the darkness beneath her eyes. 

She reached out to him, then, and took his hand in her own for a moment - squeezing it gently before she moved to kneel against the front of the sofa near where Sylvanas’s head rested on the arm of it. 

She reached out and began stroking slowly through her hair - which she had taken care of meticulously before wandering downstairs and passing out as she had. Gradually, she began to stir. First with a quiet groan - then with a fluttering of eyelashes that revealed a glow that was bluer than her own, yet still more grey than most of their kind. 

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She whispered - her voice slightly hoarse as she moved to sit up only to find Lireesa holding her down with a gentle grasp on her shoulder. “I meant for you to.” Came her whispered response followed by a soft, warm smile followed with a firm kiss to her forehead. 

“Your father has dinner ready. Are you hungry?” She asked as she pulled away, watching Sylvanas nod while attempting to keep her eyes open. 

“Stay here, then, and I’ll bring it to you.” 

“No need.” Aravath’s voice was firm as he leaned over the back of the couch and sat a tray on its little legs across Sylvanas’s lap. “Enough for both of you. So...please. Both of you eat. Before I worry myself to death. And I’ll clean up. All I want the two of you doing for the rest of the night is eating and sleeping.”

Lireesa looked grateful. She was. And her and Sylvanas shared their quiet, subdued meal with Lireesa seated on a cushion Aravath brought her. She refused to listen to the complaining in her knees. But her husband had long ago learned to tell when she wasn’t comfortable. 

He was just about to help them both up from their spots as they looked like they were ready to pass out when the thundering of hooves through the forest towards their home caused both Lireesa and Sylvanas’s attention to snap towards the door. They both scrambled to their feet and Lireesa went for her bow immediately before throwing the door open just in time to see a runner skid to a halt - the hooves of her horse kicking up dirt and grass so far they nearly hit the outside walls. She was riding double with a nearly unconscious front passenger. 

“Alleria.” Sylvanas gasped as the Ranger lowered herself to the ground. Before her feet had even touched it Lireesa was beside her. Sylvanas didn’t even know her mother could still move so fast and she sprinted to keep up - her ears drooping faintly as the harsh, militant tone of her mother’s voice shocked her at first. Especially considering everything that was going on - and how half-asleep she still was. 

“How many were there?” 

“Seventeen, including the leader, Ranger-General.”

“How many Striders did she lose?” 

“Two. Only her and her Second survived the attack. They were camped for the night. It was an ambush.”

Lireesa bristled visibly at the quick explanation. As she helped the ranger pull her daughter from where she slumped from the saddle. 

Her leather midplate was missing and in its place was a darkly soaked bandage and when she was moved into Lireesa’s arms she groaned quietly as her head rolled to the side - though something in her shifted as her dazed eyes landed on her sister who waited nervously only a few feet away. She seemed to withdraw, almost. To force the pain she was feeling down more deeply than she already had been. She even managed a smile. 

But that didn’t stop the sting of the scent blood in her nose and knowing it belonged to her big sister made it that much worse. 

“And how many of _them_ remain?” Lireesa nearly spat the word as she turned towards the spires and looked down at Alleria, studying her carefully as Aravath watched from the doorway looking more defeated than ever Sylvanas had ever seen him. 

“None, General. She took out the last of them even with a spear-tip still buried in her gut.” 

“Good.” 

Sylvanas almost felt her knees give out. But she forced them to obey her. She forced her feet forward - one in front of the other. Again and again. 

This time, no one cared about the sofa as blood began to soak into it and Aravath nothing short of tore a portal to Silvermoon open - bristling, suddenly, with a power that one might not suspect just by looking at him. 

Sylvanas just stood helplessly to the side as Lireesa lowered her sister’s head slowly and her escort ran for a cloth from the kitchen, dampening it with cool water from the tap and placing it into Lireesa’s already outstretched hand. 

“Look at me, Alleria.” Lireesa ordered firmly as she stroked her hair from her eyes - matted though it was with blood and sweat. At least most of this blood wasn’t her own. “Alleria Windrunner. Look. At. Me.” 

Lireesa grabbed onto her chin and forced her head up as the cloth stilled on her forehead. Finally, her eyes opened. And Lireesa released a trembling breath. 

“Don’t stop looking until I tell you to. Understood?” 

“Yes, Ranger-General.” Alleria rasped before she winced as she tried to adjust herself on the couch. 

They didn’t have to wait long before Aravath came thundering back into the room with a snap of magic that even Sylvanas had felt. With two very disgruntled looking healers in tow - one of them still in her dressing gown. 

But when they saw who the patient was, they understood immediately - and rushed to her side. 

Lireesa wanted to cling to her. She wanted to tell her not to call her that. Tell her to call her mom. To let her hold her. To never go back out there again. 

But she moved away so easily and so quickly those thoughts...those doubts...were more than well hidden. 

“Lireesa...Sylvanas needs to go upstairs.” Aravath whispered to her sharply as he suddenly realized she was still in the room, despite the fact that she was making herself as small and out of the way as she could. 

“No.” Lireesa responded evenly, not even looking at her - her eyes trained on her daughter as the healers began cutting the ruined bandage away. “She needs to see.”

It took almost everything Lireesa had to stand by that decision as the linen was pulled away to reveal the visible tip of the splintered spear. 

Sweat glistened across Alleria’s brow as she gritted her teeth and yet, somehow, she held herself still through it all. And Sylvanas watched everything with all the color drained from her face from the moment they pulled the object from her to the moment her tense, shaking body finally collapsed into the couch in exhaustion when the healing was, for the most part, done. 

“You can go upstairs, now, Sylvanas.” Lireesa murmured quietly as she turned her head slightly in her youngest daughter’s direction but still didn’t look at her. 

“I want to stay with Alleria.” She whispered in response - fearful of being denied, yet equally fearful of staying. It’s just that the parts that wanted to be there for her were stronger than the parts that wanted to run ever would be. That would shift some day. Shift into a broader, all-encompassing sense of duty. 

But for right now, it was reserved for her family. And Lireesa nodded simply, finding a nearby discarded cloth and wiping her hands free from her daughter’s blood as the healers worked on getting her cleaned up. She held out a hand towards Sylvanas then and her daughter responded immediately, moving to her mother’s side and pressing close to her for a moment. 

They were the same height, now. Sylvanas might even be slightly taller than her someday. But for now - she wasn’t too tall to find comfort in the way her mother’s strong arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into her chest. Nor was she too old to bury her face against her for a moment and accept the kiss to the top of her head. 

But, eventually, she pulled away when she heard more movement than she had been from behind her. And the moment the healers were done she moved to sit on the edge of the couch, finding Alleria’s hand with both of her own trembling ones and pulling it into her lap only to find it removed - raising to stroke gently along the tear stains on her face she hadn’t even been aware of. 

“So brave, Lady Moon. You’re getting so big.” Alleria’s voice was a strained whisper - but there was softness again in her eyes and a slight smile at the corners of her lips. All her attention was on Sylvanas as she held Alleria’s hand against her own cheek for a moment then lowered it down to rest when she noticed her older sister’s touch weakening. 

“I’m okay, Sylvanas.” Alleria whispered - albeit breathlessly - as her sister reached for her roughly cleaned hair and touched over it carefully. 

“Are you going to stay home a while?” She asked softly in response, feeling the crushing weight on her chest lift slightly at the nod she got in return. 

Lireesa stood back when Aravath began cleaning - her eyes focused on her daughters as Alleria managed to find the strength to make room for Sylvanas while she moved inch by careful inch to lay on her side on the sofa with her until they were comfortably nestled together. 

Only when both their eyes had slipped shut did she allow herself to move to her arm chair and sink down in it. She vaguely remembered Aravath kissing her goodnight and retreating up the stairs - but her watchful gaze stayed on her children until she could no longer cling to consciousness. 

The following days found them with many visitors. Mostly from the village - along with a dribble of rangers here and there as they took turns in from the field to check on the injured Captain and her family. 

The healing had helped but drained her and the deep muscle damage hadn’t all been done away with so she found herself couch-bound on an infuriatingly constant basis. 

It was almost a blur to all of them. Not least of all to Lireesa. She spent her days pouring over reports - obsessed with the idea she should have known of the danger to her daughter’s unit. But no matter how she tried she couldn’t find a way to blame herself. Not tactically, anyway. But as a mother - oh, as a mother - there was plenty of blame to weigh herself down with. 

And watching Sylvanas dote on her big sister as the woman regaled her with tales of glorious battle - distracting her from the reality of it all. 

And Lireesa knew she would have to crush that. She knew it was her responsibility to bring Sylvanas back down to reality eventually. To make her realize what she’d seen that night that Alleria had been pulled, half-dead from the back of a horse that was not her own was the very least of the terrible things she would see if she continued down the path she was on. 

She wasn’t sleeping. She wasn’t eating. No more than was necessary to keep her on her feet when she needed to be. Which she had convinced herself was constantly. And no amount of urging from Aravath would pull her from the things she felt were her duty as both a General and a mother. 

And that’s why he’d found himself walking towards the closing bakery he’d never before visited - but knew the location of well. They’d seen each other before, of course. Here and there. But he’d never felt he needed anything from her. That had all changed this time - and he looked apologetic as worry flashed across Elle’s features as he knocked quietly on the frame of the door he was standing in. 

“Aravath… what’s…”

“No, no. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He rushed into the bakery in response to the way her knuckles whitened as she gripped the broom she was holding so tightly the wood nearly splintered in her hands. He held his hands up as he levelled his tired gaze at her. “It’s Alleria. She was injured.” 

Elenia forced a breath past the lump in her throat as she felt her heart hammering in her ears and a shudder wracked her body. But she managed a nod. “You..you scared me.” She whispered, leaning the broom against a nearby table as some, but not all, of the concern bled from her features. 

“That wasn’t my intention. I would have written you if I didn’t think it was urgent. Or I would have sent a messenger. But...Lireesa is…” 

He looked awkward, suddenly. Almost wilted. 

“I don’t mean to intrude. You know that. I’m just worried.” 

“But not about Alleria?” Elle asked carefully - her tone measured to keep the intensity of her worry from showing. 

“Alleria will be fine. Just…”

He went quiet again - conflicted. 

“Will you make me a portal to the village?” She asked quietly as she moved towards the counter and behind it, reaching for a tray of cookies that were cooling on it for the next morning’s rush. 

He let out a sigh of relief - thankful to not have to explain further. “Yes. Of course.” 

As soon as she was ready he did as she’d asked, returning the faint smile she gave him and then porting himself back to the spire. 

Whether it was the length of time between his return and Elenia arriving at their front door or the general daze Lireesa had been existing in when not concerning herself with her daughters - which was rarely - she didn’t connect the dots. And Aravath wasn’t sure if that made him feel more or less guilty. 

But the change in her eased the feeling as he opened the door and stepped back to allow the baker in. 

“Aunty Elle!” Alleria greeted in a rather obnoxiously loud tone that resulted in a fit of coughing. 

“That serves you right, Alleria. Be polite and stop yelling at our guests, please.” Lireesa commented off-handedly as she stood and watched Elenia carry the cloth-wrapped bundle of treats over to the couch where Sylvanas had been braiding her older sister’s hair, though she’d stopped and all her attention had shifted to Elle. 

“Sorry.” She responded with a raise of her brow and a quiet chuckle once her coughing had died down before she shifted from where she sat and reached for the gift that was handed to her. Her eyes lit up as she opened it and grinned from ear to ear. These had always been her favorite. Some might think them plain based upon appearances - but she knew better. 

Some might pass them by for other, more flashy baked goods. They might miss the way the granules of expensive sugar glinted across the crackling brown surface or the way they pulled ever so slightly when you broke them in half - instead of crumbling. 

But not Alleria. 

And she’d never been joking when she mentioned treats when her mother went to Silvermoon. Not for centuries. And ‘treats’ never meant anything other than this. Chocolate sugar cookies.  
So good the discomfort she was still dealing with was pushed immediately into the back of her mind as she split one and handed half to Sylvanas before popping the entire other half in her mouth. The confection gave like cake beneath her teeth and it was still _warm_ gods, she had never had them still _warm_

“I take it they’re still your favorite?” Elle asked quietly after watching them eat the first three together without saying a word. 

Alleria actually looked embarrassed for a moment as she nodded before placing the bundle in Sylvanas’s lap and pushing herself to her feet, opening her arms to offer a hug. 

“Now, now. Sit down before your mother kills me.” Elenia admonished with a quiet laugh as she hugged her and helped her back down at the same time. 

“And Sylvanas...you’re getting so tall. You’d better slow down before you get taller than your mother. Her Napoleon complex is bad enough as it is.” 

Elenia smiled softly as Sylvanas seemed unable to help but laugh at the gentle poke in her mother’s direction. Lireesa was torn between enjoying the sound and wondering how long it had been since she’d heard it. She couldn’t remember…

“Well, I’d better be going. I have quite a bit of work to get to yet this evening. Alleria - perhaps another batch of cookies will be in order before you head back into the field, should you keep me posted on your condition.” 

Alleria nodded and reached over for another cookie - wilting slightly as Sylvanas made to pull them away before she produced one for her and returned them to her lap instead so she could continue braiding her hair. 

She’d never been one for sweets but Elenia’s baking had always been so good she couldn’t much help but enjoy it when the opportunity presented itself. 

The whole time, Lireesa’s attention was split between her daughters and Elle. She looked conflicted - if only to Aravath. And to Elle, for that matter. But relieved, suddenly, as Aravath spoke. 

“You should walk her back to the village, Lireesa. These two will be more than occupied for the foreseeable future.”

Elenia finally allowed herself to turn to look fully at Lireesa, then, and it became apparent why Aravath had become so concerned he’d come looking for her. 

She’d been taking care of herself appearance-wise. Of course. Her black hair shone in its silkiness in such a way that it was difficult to tell whether the silver in it was signs of age or simply light reflecting off the raven-black strands that it mingled with. She was dressed simply. For her, anyway. In tight black leggings and boots just as dark that looked like they might have been velvet. The deep hunter green of her shirt coupled with the dark hair that hung free down over her shoulders against her chest only brought out the sharpness of her cold as steel eyes. But even all that couldn’t hide the bags beneath them - or the way the smile lines beside them were more pronounced. Nor could it hide the faint wilt to her heavily adorned ears. 

And even still she looked like she belonged at some sort of court function while Elle was still in the simple outfit she’d been wearing to work in - although she’d managed to remove a majority of the flour dust from herself on her walk to the spires from the village. Her chestnut hair was pulled up into a hasty bun that she hadn’t bothered to try and fix. 

But neither of them really cared about any of that. Least of all Elenia, who was silently hoping Lireesa would acquiesce. 

And she did - with a faint nod and a lingering glance at Alleria who simply narrowed her eyes faintly and glanced towards the door before looking back at her mother as though she were silently chiding a small child. 

Lireesa sighed quietly and made her way towards the door, holding it open for Elenia and shutting it behind them once they were both outside. 

They walked in silence for a while - Lireesa keeping her distance somewhat but gradually drifting closer. And Elle seemed to have all the patience and understanding for her in the world. Just like she always had. Until, finally, she felt a strong shoulder bump her own and she reached out to stroke along the small of her back as the sounds of the night along the mage-lit road provided enough cover to hide their deafening silence. 

It was Elle that finally broke it. 

“Whats on your mind, beloved?” She asked quietly as she glanced over at the older woman. She could have guessed. She already had. But that wouldn’t help Lireesa. Not at all.

The Ranger-General shook her head faintly and Elle dropped her hand from its place against the curve of her back to take her calloused hand in her own firmly. 

They walked on. A meandering pace that she knew all too well didn’t come at all naturally for Lireesa. She knew this dance. She had danced it before. She would dance it again. It was a dance that Lireesa alone could lead. And one that Elle alone could follow. 

“I wonder sometimes if I am doing the right thing.”  
The first step. Something akin to the bow before asking for a lady’s hand along the edge of the floor. 

“I know you do, Lireesa.” 

The lady accepts. Of course she does. She always does. 

“The past few days...I don’t know. The past few days I’ve become absolutely sure that I am not. That I’ve...I’ve only done what is right for my people. And not for my children.”

The first step. Careful. Measured. Practiced. ...Vulnerable. Like a hand pulling her closer for what would come next as the music of the glowbugs singing in the trees around them lifted. 

“Alleria has been old enough to make that decision longer than some people I know have been alive. And has she changed her mind, my love? Has she shown a moment of doubt?” 

A dip. Bold. Treacherous. But with the strength behind it to pull Lireesa back should she lose her balance. Should she try to step away. 

“No.” 

Lireesa’s voice was choked. Just so. Just enough. A stumble followed by a thick swallow as she tried to remember the steps. The steps that would take her away from admitting this to Elle. To herself. But she couldn’t. And she stopped - her leading foot scuffing audibly in the leaves as she continued staring ahead of them along the road. 

“But Sylvanas.” Elle whispered as she released her hand - stroking slowly, carefully up the length of her arm before she grasped her shoulder and slowly turned the older woman to face her. 

“She didn’t ask for this.” Lireesa whispered as she looked over Elenia’s shoulder into the darkness of the forest behind her. 

“No one asks for any of this.” Elle responded - her tone as gentle as her hands were as she reached up and stroked through her hair, guiding it from her face before she traced the sharp lines of it slowly. “Ask her. Ask her if she wants it. ..You already know what her answer will be.” 

Lireesa finally looked into her eyes, then. And Elenia’s heart nearly shattered at what she found there. Such crippling doubt. Such guilt. Heavy and dark like a blanket of soot after a fire. 

“Lireesa…” She breathed the name like a prayer and pulled the seasoned warrior into her arms like she was a lost lamb. 

Lireesa let her. And a shiver wracked her as she buried her face against the side of her neck - desperately seeking a place to hide. If only for a moment. Shelter. No matter how small. No matter how brief. 

“Go to her tonight. Or in the morning. But soon. Away from Alleria. Away from the pressure. Talk to her like the woman she is becoming. It will be her decision in the end, Lireesa. Allow her to start making it, now. With the memory of this fresh in her mind. My love, you can’t break right now. I’m sorry but you can’t. You can’t let this clip your wings. You’ve far yet to fly. If you still need to shatter when there is time - fly to me and shatter in my arms. I will hold your pieces together. I will pick them up. I will put you back together.” 

As she spoke one of her arms slipped around Lireesa’s waist and her free hand had come up to cradle the back of her head, gripping her hair tightly to hold her that much closer. As though she were trying to push her own fortitude into her through touch alone. 

“I love you.” Lireesa whispered - her voice shaking dangerously as her lips moved against the side of Elenia’s neck. 

“And I, you.” She responded almost fiercely and used her grip on her hair to pull her up - to look her in her eyes before she leaned down slightly to brush their lips together in the lightest kiss. “For all of my days. With all of my heart. And you are a wonderful mother. Stop doubting that. Just look at them and see how good you are. It is like you took all the best parts of the woman I’ve known for so long and sculpted them from there. And yet you give them the freedom to become something different. Something unique. But just as beautiful. And they are...they have.” 

Lireesa drew in a slow, steady breath and nodded before pressing closer to Elle and breathing against her hair for a moment with her eyes shut. She listened to her heartbeat - used it as a gauge to steady her own. To find her center. To breathe. 

“I’ll see you soon.” She whispered after what felt like days of just standing in her arms. Or just seconds. It was never enough. Not when she felt like this. But it had to be. 

“As soon as you wish, Lireesa. My arms are always open. And I will always be yours to find.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mom, I...I know training is important to you...but can we not stay gone long? Please. It’s just...Alleria-”

“We aren’t training today. You’re taking a break to be with your sister. This is just a walk.” Lireesa responded simply - but firmly enough to cut her daughter off. 

“Oh…” Sylvanas murmured as her brows furrowed and she looked down at the grass of the courtyard as it passed beneath their feet and the ear nearest her mother twitched faintly. “About what?”

“About Alleria. About you. About everything.” 

Sylvanas remained quiet - waiting for her mother to explain as she felt nervousness begin nibbling at the edge of her thoughts, a faint prickling at the base of her skull. Had she done something wrong? 

“Let’s sit a while.” Lireesa gestured towards a spot along the edge of the path they’d been walking and lowered herself with her daughter, albeit a bit more slowly. 

“I know you think you want to be a Ranger. I know you think you have no choice.” She started after measuring what she was about to say carefully once they were settled. “But after this - after seeing her the way you did - how could you? How could you still want that for yourself? Think carefully before you answer me, Sylvanas. And know that you absolutely have a choice.” 

She did. She thought. She thought until she could think no longer and still her answer was the same as it had been when she’d started. “I just do. I just...I just do.”

“That isn’t enough.” Lireesa replied instantly, looking at her daughter carefully - measuring her every reaction. And this time that reaction came in the form of a sharp exhale through her nostrils and a lifting of her ears. Agitation. Good. Perhaps she would finally admit to both of them that it wasn’t for her. 

“Would you prefer I...I wrote prose about it, Mother?” She asked suddenly - her sharp eyes shifting to meet Lireesa’s with an evenness that people would one day find disconcerting. But Lireesa just found it curious. And, so, she listened. 

“Do you want me to...to write a ballad about how I _need_ to feel the grass fly beneath my feet - how I need to feel the branches beneath my boots as I climb - as I run? Do you want me to sing to the world about how I’m not mad at Alleria for not wanting to be what you are because _I want to be what you are_? Because _someone_ has to protect our home, Mother. Someone has got to do it. And it might as well be someone who actually fucking wants to. And do I _want_ to be intimately acquainted with a spear? No! What idiot would want to be intimately acquainted with a spear?! Or any other sharp-ended object, for that matter? I imagine one doesn’t exactly _accept_ that until it’s actually _in_ you. I mean...do you find yourself dreaming of the next time you can a sword to the leg? That’s not want or need - that’s stupidity. And I _know_ you don’t. There is a difference between duty and self-hatred. I’m not a baby. I’m not whatever the hell you think I am. You haven’t forced me to do or be anything. No one has. But I feel it, Mother. I feel it calling to me when I’m not out there. You can’t expect me to ignore that. You can’t expect me to be happily cloistered away for the rest of my life because of your own misplaced guilt.” 

Sylvanas didn’t know when it had happened - but she was standing. Standing in front of her still seated mother with her fists clenched and her ears pinned further back than might have been possible any other time. Her face was flushed - her jaw was clenched so tightly it was almost painful. And then she realized the gravity of everything she’d said and she wilted immediately as tears burned in her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, taking a step back as she lowered her gaze to the ground and brought her own trembling hands up to run over her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...Mom…” 

Where she had expected to find reproach or anger she found, instead, the warmth of arms pulling her close. Holding her tight and rocking her slightly where they stood. “Shh. I understand, Sylvanas. I understand. I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am. Forgive me. Forgive me for not considering your feelings. For not listening. If this is what you want - I will only ever support you. I will only ever help you in every capacity in which I am capable. You have my word, my darling. I swear it.” 

“Promise?” Sylvanas asked in an apprehensive murmur - muffled against her mother’s chest as she brought her arms up to fold between them. 

“I promise, Sylvanas. On everything that I am and everything that I stand for. I will never question you about this again. Only know that you need never be anything but honest with me. And promise me, in return, that you will be.” 

“I promise, too.” 

“Good.” Lireesa breathed, slowly pulling back from her and holding her at arms length to look at her. “That fire in you…” She trailed off, cupping her daughter’s still too-warm cheek in her hand before she fixed a few strands of her hair that had fallen out of place. “Is one of the things I am the most proud of. Never let it go out. Not for anyone. Not for anything.”

“I’ll try.” Sylvanas responded quietly before tentatively moving closer for another hug - a hug which her mother returned all too gladly.

 

"Timshel"  
Mumford & Sons

Cold is the water  
It freezes your already cold mind  
Already cold, cold mind  
And death is at your doorstep  
And it will steal your innocence  
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this  
And you are not alone in this  
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand  
Hold your hand

And you are the mother  
The mother of your baby child  
The one to whom you gave life  
And you have your choices  
And these are what make man great  
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this  
And you are not alone in this  
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand  
Hold your hand

But I will tell the night  
And whisper, "Lose your sight"  
But I can't move the mountains for you

 


	7. Sunnyland

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Every day was a new challenge, now. A new struggle. Be it a new lesson added to her roster or another venture into unfamiliar forests with her mother - it was always something. At eighteen, she was already fluent in three languages, could track better than almost any Ranger currently in service, and was the best shot with a bow in her family.

But as much as her mother and father reassured her - she never felt like it was enough. She was always striving for more. Always working towards something she didn’t even fully understand yet. 

And that’s what she was doing when her mother came looking for her that afternoon. Pouring over a Common language book murmuring the words to herself at her desk with some of her hair in her eyes and her fingertips tracing over the words on the page. 

“Sylvanas.” Lireesa leaned against the door frame as her eyes swept over her daughter hunched over her work where she’d been for hours. 

“Mm?” 

“Velonara is downstairs. She’s brought an extra fishing pole for you.”

Sylvanas straightened herself in her chair and rubbed her eyes with a soft groan. “Mother, I need to finish this. The tutor will be here tomorrow to quiz me and there are a few words I’m unsure of.” 

Lireesa sighed quietly and made her way over to her desk, glancing down at the words she’d been practicing and fixing her hair as she did so. “Which ones?”

Sylvanas looked back down at the text and shrugged softly. “These two.” She pointed them out on the page and Lireesa followed her fingertip with her eyes. 

“Accommodate.” Lireesa said it slowly at first and then repeated it again at the appropriate speed. “It’s...a difficult one. A lot of hard sounds. I know. Their language is rather cumbersome. It’s when...it’s when you make compromises in one thing to fit another thing within it. When you make allowances for something you weren’t, perhaps, prepared for. Does that make sense?” 

Sylvanas nodded faintly and said the word with more ease this time. It was easier when she understood what they meant - when she could better relate them to their own language. 

“And this one is ‘Liaison’. Which has more than one meaning, really. Many of these words have more than one meaning. In this instance - it can be either a specific person or describe a type of relationship. For instance, ‘Your liaison will be waiting at the bridge with the information you requested.’ Or - ‘I have been involved in an inappropriate liaison with an inferior.’” 

“What would constitute an inappropriate liaison with an inferior?” Sylvanas asked softly as Lireesa found her bookmark and placed it in the center of the page before closing it for her. 

“It isn’t something our kind worries about. For them, they seem to be unable to handle any sort of physical or emotional relationship where there can be any sort of power play without it becoming distracting or inappropriate.” 

Sylvanas couldn’t help but laugh softly in response to that. Even as young as she was she knew humans were prudish. She’d seen the ones from Lordaeron before and they seemed so stuffy. So uptight. 

“Now, go fish with your friend. She’s been missing you, you know. You needn’t spend so much of your time on these things. It isn’t required of you.” 

Sylvanas stood from the chair she’d been folded in for hours and stretched out her limbs before wrapping her arms around her mother in a quick hug. “I require it of myself.” She responded before pulling away and heading downstairs. 

“I’ll be back by dark!” She shouted up the spiraling staircase as Velonara positively beamed when she saw her. 

“You don’t need to be!” Lireesa shouted back with a tinge of warning in her voice as she made her way down, herself. She stood next to Aravath as the two girls headed out the door for the nearby beach.

“Do you think this will help?” Aravath asked worriedly as Lireesa turned to make her way towards the kitchen. She paused and turned her attention to her husband with a somber expression on her face. 

“I hope it will. But you can’t force these things. You know that. But if I had to guess - I would say yes. I certainly hope so.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Velonara was the first to speak as they strolled next to each other. Sylvanas had taken the poles from her so she could go through the little pouch at her waist and pull out the lures they would need soon. 

“I’ve been really focused...I’m sorry. It’s just...I feel like it’s so important for me to be ready that I don’t know what else to do.” 

Velonara looked over at her thoughtfully as the ground beneath their bare feet became soft and sandy - warmed beneath the sun all day and pleasant to walk upon. “I just miss you, that’s all. What are you trying to be ready for, anyway?” 

Sylvanas looked like she was thinking about her answer, which was unusual. She was normally so quick-witted that it was strange to see her struggling with a question.

“I don’t know.” She admitted softly as they finally found themselves in front of the waves that lapped gently at the shores behind the spires. “I don’t really know. It just feels important. Pressing, somehow. And I know I have very little time left before Mother inducts me into training. Or at least I hope so...it’s like an itch, or something. That I can’t seem to scratch.”

Velonara nodded as she cast her lure out into the rolling waters and then moved to sit down in the sand. Sylvanas joined her soon thereafter. 

“I know that feeling. The itch, anyway. I feel it, too. I used to be so upset when mother would go into the field...even though it meant I got to stay with my cousins or with you. But now, when she leaves, I just wish it were me going out there instead. I hate being cooped up and I especially hate being in Silvermoon. Thankfully, I don’t have to go there much. I’m sure you do, though.”

“Mm...I do. And I definitely don’t enjoy it. I don’t know how Mother deals with all the bullshit and the politics. I know I’ll have to learn someday. But I dread it.”

“Is that really the only thing you dread? Not the responsibility or the danger or anything else? Just the politics?” Velonara looked over at her with her brows furrowed - the almost greenish hue behind the glow of her eyes was something Sylvanas had only recently found herself noticing. It was so unusual. Not unheard of. Just unusual. Special. And she allowed herself a moment to appreciate it as she returned the look. 

“I think so. I mean, I know it’ll be dangerous. I get that. But I want that part of it, too. I want to face that so others don’t have to. Isn’t that how you feel about it? You’ve wanted to be a ranger all our lives, too.”

“I mean, yeah. I definitely feel that way...I think I just feel a little differently than you. I want to be a ranger, sure. Maybe an officer some day. And I want to be good at it. But you...when you talk about it, you’re talking about something different than I am. You’re talking about leading troops to battle and protecting a kingdom.” 

She felt inadequate, suddenly. She’d never felt like this with Sylvanas before. Even as well-known as her family was and as important as they were. Sylvanas had never made her feel this way. And she hadn’t done it now. Velonara had done it to herself just by talking to her. By letting the truth settle over herself like a thick blanket.  
“Just because what I’m meant to do is different than what you’re meant to do doesn’t mean anything, Vel. One well-placed arrow shot can do as much as an entire unit of Rangers if you choose your target wisely. Besides, I won’t have to worry about all those other things for a long, long time.”

Velonara nodded and leaned back onto one of her elbows as she watched her cork bob amongst the waves. “Then why are you rushing?” 

Sylvanas didn’t know what to say to that. But it struck her. It really did. 

“Maybe we should do this more often.” She finally murmured as a breeze caught her hair and her eyelids fluttered against the warm comfort of it. “I miss you, too.” 

Velonara moved closer to her then and leaned her head against her shoulder as she settled the handle of her fishing pole in her lap - just barely touching the reel with her fingertips so she could feel if she got a bite. 

It felt strange, suddenly, to have her so close. She felt protective, almost as she looked down at her face - at how her expression had settled into something content in response to their proximity - and she tentatively wrapped her free arm around her. 

They nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of sand being scattered in the wake of light footsteps behind them. 

“Don’t move on my account.” Lireesa’s low voice was tinged with amusement as she walked behind them and leaned over to place a bundle in Velonara’s lap. “Some food since the two of you rarely actually catch anything out here.” She bent down and placed a kiss atop her daughters head before standing. “Or have you even been paying attention to your lines?”

Velonara got up almost embarrassedly then, and Sylvanas shifted so she was once more keeping her hands to herself. 

Damn. 

“I’m not opposed to the two of you paying more attention to each other than to the fish, you know. We’ve plenty of food at home and precious little of you focusing on yourself and what makes you happy.” She nudged Sylvanas with the tip of her boot. “And if this makes you happy…”

“Mom!” 

Lireesa chuckled and lifted her hands in defeat. “Alright, I’ll mind my business. But do make sure the two of you eat. I slaved over that bread and cured meat for _minutes_ for you.” Sylvanas was blushing as her mother headed back for the spires and Velonara was staring down at the cloth-wrapped bundle in her lap. “Sorry.” She whispered, clearing her throat and sitting her pole to the side to start untying the food that had been brought to them. 

Sylvanas reached for one of her hands, then, and took it in her own and Velonara lifted her eyes in surprise. 

“Don’t be sorry. I like being close to you.” 

They didn’t eat for a little while. They mostly took turns looking at the way their hands looked twined together the way that were - and Velonara dared a slight movement of her thumb over Sylvanas’s now and then. They’d spent years being close. Sleeping curled up together when they went camping - hugging - any number of things. And neither of them, for the life of themselves, could figure out why it was suddenly different. 

Eventually, though, they did eat. And in the middle of their meal Velonara suddenly got the bite she hadn’t expected to come. At least she had the forethought to pass their bundle of treats to Sylvanas before she stood and set the hook with a powerful backward tug. 

Sylvanas tied up the rest of their meal and stood as quickly as she could, hurrying to where they’d left their net a few feet away She could already tell by the way Velonara was struggling it was a big one. That she would need help once it got to shallower waters and started thrashing. She’d been right. She could hear Velonara grunting with effort from a few yards behind her as she focused her sharp eyes on where the other girl’s line went underwater until finally, the shadow of the fish she’d hooked came into view. 

Sylvanas wasn’t sure what possessed her to dive in after it, net in hand - but she did. And Velonara nearly panicked when she didn’t come up right away. She flung her rod down and called out her friends name as she broke out in a run in the direction she’d disappeared in. And just as she reached the edge of the water Sylvanas burst through the surface of it, sputtering and drenched and dragging the netted fish along the wet sand as she walked towards her friend. 

“Sylvanas…” Velonara looked at the state of her - her likely ruined leathers and the little bits of seaweed trapped in her dripping hair. And she smiled. 

“What?” Sylvanas demanded. “I didn’t want it to get away.” 

“Oh, is that it?” Velonara asked as she grinned from ear to ear. “You look like a drowned rat.” 

“...Thanks.” Sylvanas responded dryly as she put the net down and knelt beside it to unhook the fish and look it over. 

“No, I mean...it’s…” Velonara hesitated and chose, instead, to get down in the sand with her and help. 

“It’s what?” Sylvanas asked - suddenly a lot more focused on the fact that she wanted to know what it was Velonara was thinking than she was on the fact that her clothes were terribly uncomfortable when they were drenched with sea water. 

“Cute. You’re a cute drowned rat.” She pulled the knife from her belt, then, and ended the fish’s discomfort quickly before she brought it closer to the water to begin cleaning it - allowing the discards to float out into the sea when the waves caught them.

Sylvanas stayed where she was for a moment - too stunned to do anything else. A cute drowned rat? She supposed that was better than an ugly one. 

Between the two of them they managed to finish their tasks and bundle the fish up to be carried and neither of them noticed the sun had begun to set while they’d been about their work. Sylvanas was the first to look over her shoulder at it and it gave her pause. 

“What is it?” Velonara asked as she noticed Sylvanas’s hands going still on the knot she’d been tying. 

“It’s beautiful. I never really have the time to pay much attention to it.” She murmured distractedly, looking, for all intents and purposes, far too embarrassed for someone whose only offense had been getting caught watching a sunset. 

“You’re allowed to, you know.” Velonara’s voice was softer than usual and she reached for Sylvanas’s hand - removing it from their catch and holding it in her own. “You’re allowed to appreciate things. I’ll watch it with you, if you want. The fish will be fine until dark.”

Sylvanas nodded absently and Velonara didn’t mind her wet clothes one bit as they sat next to each other in the sand once again. Her head was on the other girl’s shoulder again and Sylvanas’s arms had wrapped around her own. More sure this time. More relaxed. And eventually, as the pinks and oranges cast a myriad of colors over them, Sylvanas leaned her head against her friend’s. 

“You said that we can do this again, right?” Sylvanas asked so softly Velonara couldn’t help but wonder if she was scared anything louder might scare the peace of this moment away. 

“As much as you want. Whenever you have time.” Velonara reassured her immediately. 

“Maybe once a week, then? If you...if that’s not too much.” 

“There’s no such thing as too much.” 

Velonara’s heart hammered in her chest harder and harder the more daring she grew. And it threatened to leave her body entirely when Sylvanas turned her head to kiss the top of her own before getting comfortable again. “Every week, then.” 

Lireesa turned her head slightly towards Aravath as she heard him approach on the balcony of their bedroom but her eyes stayed focused on the two shapes on the beach in the distance that were so close they had almost become one. 

“You’ve always had sharper eyes than me, beloved.” He said quietly as he placed his hand atop hers where it rested on the railing. “I’ll surely die of suspense.” 

“They’re watching the sunset.” She explained absently - smiling warmly at her own explanation. 

As inconsequential as that might have seen - to the two of them it was monumental. Sylvanas rarely did things that weren’t part of a task - that didn’t have a reason. Even fishing had a reason. 

But watching the sunset with someone? Just enjoying the comfort of their presence? Well, Lireesa supposed there was a reason for it. And she was glad Sylvanas had suddenly happened upon that reason - even if her daughter didn’t understand it. Even if she didn’t know what the reason was. 

She wanted so badly for her to be happy. For her to find something soft in this life that would surely be one as hard as they came. She thought and spoke often about the life of a ranger. But rarely did she discuss these moments of reprieve. These moments they created as little safe havens - memories to retreat to in their minds at night when the sounds of war still rang in their ears and kept them awake. 

Lireesa yearned for Sylvanas to make these memories. 

And this was a wonderful start.

 

"Sunnyland"  
Mayday Parade

You were so cynical the last time that I saw you  
And I thought, that's what a real grown up looks like  
You were happy once but that was such a long time ago now  
Gravity took something from your life

And I thought back to the years that we played baseball  
How I tried but I struck out so many times  
But then once I hit the ball and it sailed over the fence  
Yeah, I felt my gut all filled up with pride

So take me back to Sunnyland  
So I can find the light again  
So take me back to Sunnyland  
So I can find the light again

And I dreamt about an abandoned hospital  
And I met up with my friends to go inside  
Well I left something important back in Sunnyland  
And it's something that I know I'll never find

So take me back to Sunnyland  
So I can find the light again  
So take me back to Sunnyland  
So I can find the light again

Can you tell me how long now until winter is done  
Wake me up when it's over and spring has begun  
Give me all of your bad days, it'll be over soon  
Just as long as I have you


	8. Kiss The Girl

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Over the following months - no matter how busy she was - Sylvanas kept her word. Sundays were her and Velonara’s alone. And even on the days she felt guilty for shirking her responsibilities being in her friend’s company was more than enough to make up for it.

But that didn’t make it all any less confusing. She vividly remembered a time when they could hold hands or lay with one another and it just felt normal. Easy. And it was no longer that way. She caught herself looking at Velonara more often than she used to. And sometimes she caught her looking back. 

Now, when they touched it felt almost forbidden. Just something about the way her heart raced and her cheeks flushed that she couldn’t wrap her mind around. She knew, of course. They both knew, deep down. That this was more than a friendship - or at least that they both wanted it to be. It was bridging that gap that was the problem. It wasn’t as though anyone was stopping them...or even that it was frowned upon. Many other girls their age had already had flings with their peers. Or were even still continuing them into something more long-lived. 

But Sylvanas was always pre-occupied with her would-be duties. And Velonara just didn’t have eyes for anyone but her. 

And so, of course, it was much different this time when they burst through the foliage that concealed a freshwater spring they had visited upon many an occasion. Where normally they might have discarded their clothes as they ran towards it - now they skidded to a stop next to each other as leaves still fluttered to the ground. 

Sylvanas’s eyes lifted towards Velonara and fell before they met hers, her hands hovering along her shirt that had come half-untucked from her breeches. 

“I won’t look, Sylvanas.” Velonara reassured softly, her brows furrowed faintly in concern. She’d never really seen her like this. So unsure. Normally she was the surest person she’d ever known…

“You can look.” Sylvanas’s answer came quickly. A little too quickly, she realized. And her ears shifted downward slightly. “You don’t have to, though.” 

“Is it alright if I want to?” She asked softly in response, reaching out to touch along Sylvanas’s hand before she pulled it away again. 

Sylvanas swallowed and nodded before she finally pulled her shirt over her head and began untying her brown doeskin breeches. By the time she was out of them along with her boots, Velonara was standing in front of her wearing just as little as she was. She’d been so nervous she hadn’t even noticed her undressing. But she was...oh...she was beautiful. 

She held her leggings in her hands and glanced quickly down her body as her ears shifted upward from where they’d fallen and the blush that had been creeping up her cheeks spread with a vengeance. 

As shaken as Velonara was by the changes in Sylvanas since the last time they’d seen each other like this - as much as her eyes lingered on lean muscle and new, soft curves - it was the perk of her ears that did her in. That made her know unequivocally she wasn’t the only one feeling this way. 

When Sylvanas noticed where Velonara was looking she reached up and smoothed her hair away from her own face - pressing her ears down to no avail before she cast her gaze towards the ground with a quiet huff. 

“Do you want to swim?” Velonara asked gently, reaching out and taking her friend’s hand in her own to pull her a few steps towards the water. 

Sylvanas was glad for the reprieve. She didn’t know how much longer she could take standing there like that - trying her best not to look at her and failing miserably. 

Once they were in the water the mood shifted into something lighter. Before too long they were slipping through the water - chasing each other through it and splashing. The woodland creatures had long since departed because of the racket save the birds who were watching curiously from the branches above. 

They swam until they were exhausted and Sylvanas barely made it to the edge to pull herself up with arms that burned with overexertion. She wrung her hair out and movement caught her attention from the corner of her eye.

She hadn’t noticed the way Velonara had watched her from where she floated in the middle of the pool - so she’d missed how her eyes lingered and the deep breath she took before she decided to move closer. Before she knew it, Velonara had found a ledge to rest on in the water beneath where she sat and leaned back between her legs with her eyes shut and her head in her lap and her arms draped over her knees. 

Sylvanas had never heard her own heartbeat before. But she heard it now. Hammering away in her ears as Velonara’s fingertips touched lightly along her calves. Her mouth had never been this dry. And her fingertips had never tingled before, either. 

She slipped her hand beneath Velonara’s head - stroking her thumb over golden hair so wet it was almost brown and leaning down over her. She barely felt the gentle grasp against her knee as her eyes flicked down towards her lips and up into eyes that had opened - but only just. She hesitated for a moment - a trembling breath leaving her in the space between them as Velonara lifted her hand to touch along her chest before it slid higher - just barely circling to the back of her neck to apply the gentlest of pressure. 

It hadn’t been what Velonara was expecting. Sylvanas almost cradled the fullness of her lower lip between her own at first. And the warmth of it was all-consuming before a soft sound met her ears. The sound of Sylvanas’s lips parting from her own only to find them again - both of them this time - and when Velonara’s jaw tilted slightly - making the exchange that much firmer, more real, a sharp breath left her nose as her eyes shut. 

They stayed shut for a moment even when Velonara pulled back and moved to kneel between her legs. Sylvanas’s short, quick breaths caused her to pull her into her arms. She didn’t know if it was the nerves or...or what she was feeling right then, too, but all she knew to do was let her know it was okay. And she did that by holding her as tightly as she could until she finally felt Sylvanas’s strong, lean arms slide around her back. 

It had been an admission. Without words, of course. But it had been enough. It made it okay. It made what they were experiencing real and accepted and they were both relieved, if slightly on edge. 

It was Velonara who pulled back first - but only when it felt like Sylvanas was calmer. 

“Your mom was making us dinner, right?” She asked softly, finding herself drawn back to her as Sylvanas leaned towards her at the same time. This time she smiled into the kiss - into the light, silky feeling of lips against her own. Lips she had wanted to feel for months now. Lips she’d dreamt about kissing more times than she would ever admit. She’d always known it would be worth the wait. All the times she’d seen her friends sneak off into the forest while Sylvanas was cooped up studying or in the Windrunner courtyard sparring with her tutors or her mother and sister. All the times she’d caught the other girl glancing at her and looking away in an attempt to not get caught. 

She’d always known Sylvanas would be worth the wait. And she’d been so right. 

They helped each other dress in the clearing surrounding the pool - laughing quietly at how difficult it was to get leather up wet legs and almost stumbling a time or two. They walked back to the spires languidly hand-in-hand and just before they made it to the door Velonara gave Sylvanas’s a gentle tug, catching her when she fell slightly off balance and meeting her lips with her own one more time. She still didn’t have all the grace she would one day have. But neither of them knew that, then. And neither of them cared. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long.” Sylvanas whispered only to be rewarded with a stroke of Velonara’s hand along the side of her neck. 

“It took as long as you needed.” She murmured as she bumped their foreheads together gently and kept them together. 

Sylvanas turned to face her, then, using a hand on either side of her face to tilt her head up gently. She brushed her lips against the side of her mouth and then pressed them against her cheek. “You always wait for me.” 

“And that isn’t going to change.” 

“When you girls are finished out here I have something to discuss with you. After dinner. Which is also ready, by the way. But no rush.” 

The color drained from Sylvanas’s face as she turned sharply to face her mother - who she hadn’t heard open the door. And who had been watching them for who knew how long. 

Lireesa only wrinkled her nose and chuckled softly as she retreated inside. 

“I’m sorry.” Velonara murmured - her cheeks burning and her tone a mixture of embarrassment and genuine apology. 

“No, don’t...don’t be sorry.” Sylvanas responded quietly. “It doesn’t have to be a secret. This. It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be.” 

Velonara looked faintly shocked as her gaze leveled on the other girl and Sylvanas only reached for her hand - giving it a reassuring squeeze. “But if you want it to be, I understand.”

“No...no, I don’t. At all. I didn’t think you would...I don’t know what I thought.” She was stammering. She knew she sounded ridiculous. She thought perhaps it would be best if she just stopped talking for a while. 

That was - until she found herself hugged against Sylvanas so closely there was no room left between them for doubt. “I don’t care who sees us, Vel. I’ll never care who sees us.” 

Velonara released a breath that shook on its way out and nodded before resting her head against her shoulder for a moment before they finally managed to part long enough to make it inside. 

Lireesa blessedly failed to mention what she’d seen over dinner and while she saw the way they touched hands beneath the table every so often she didn’t mention that either. She only smiled more often than she had been as of late. She only spoke with more animation. She only looked less tired, less worried. 

That was - until dinner was over - and a certain measure of seriousness came over her while Aravath began clearing the table. 

And Sylvanas remembered she’d wanted to talk to them. So she decided to beat her to it. 

“If it’s about...if it’s about what happened outside, I won’t let it interfere with my work. But I...I won’t stop, either. I hope that isn’t what you wanted to talk to us about. Because I won’t.” 

Velonara looked stricken. Sometimes - Lireesa was just her best friend’s mom. But sometimes she was the Ranger-General. Steely and cold and dark in a way very few of their kind were. And here she was - her daughter’s greatest distraction. 

But the look on the woman’s face softened immediately and she reached out to place her hand atop her daughter’s clenched fist on the table. “At ease, Sylvanas.” She teased gently. “This? Between the two of you? Is wonderful. And I wish you all the tidings in the world. I hope that it lasts for all of your days and that if it doesn’t the memories you make with one another will be some of the best - most treasured places in your hearts. Believe me - I don’t want you to stop.” 

The straight, hard lines Sylvanas’s shoulders had become returned to the gentle, easy slopes they usually were and she leaned back in her chair as Velonara reached for her hand beneath the table again and she took it in her own immediately. 

“No, I wanted to talk to you about the fact that as of next week you will both be starting your official training. I’ve taken the liberty of speaking with your mother, Velonara. She agrees it would be good to have you in the same group. You are both young, yet. The training will be one week a month for quite some time. And then two. Then three. And then you both are more than aware of what happens next.” 

“We’ll be Rangers.” Sylvanas murmured - trying to temper the emotion in her voice. Sheer excitement. Joy. She very nearly vibrated in place with it - her eyes wide and her grip on Velonara’s hand tightening. 

And Velonara was very nearly just as excited. In fact, she scooted slightly closer to Sylvanas - so close she was almost sitting on both their chairs at once. 

Lireesa laughed quietly and glanced up at Aravath as he sat a pie down in the center of the table. “Eventually, yes. It takes many, many, many years. Boysenberry. From Silvermoon with congratulations from Aunty Elle.” 

Velonara had never seen a pie like it. The latticework was flawless and the sugar crystalized over the intricately woven, golden pastry sparkled in the light of the room. There wasn’t a leak anywhere despite the spaces that revealed the glistening filling beneath. 

“Who is...who is Aunty Elle?” Velonara asked quietly as Aravath began cutting them each slices with mischief glinting in his eyes and in his smile. 

“My mom’s other Person.” Sylvanas explained easily - sitting the plate her father handed her in front of Velonara instead before he sighed fondly and replaced it with another one. 

“Person?” She asked in faint confusion as her eyes narrowed slightly at Sylvanas. 

“Like Dad. Like they love each other. Her Person.” 

Velonara watched as Aravath leaned down and pressed a kiss to Lireesa’s hair - smiling as he was rewarded with a gentle pat on his arm before he sat down in front of his own slice of pie and began eating it immediately. He knew better than to avoid good baking when he saw it. And he also knew how quickly it would be gone. 

“Oh. ...Oh.” 

Lireesa shot a wink at her and Velonara grinned. 

So she felt how they felt about women. How they felt about each other. Lireesa felt that about someone, too. 

It was a relief. And she couldn’t help but wonder why Sylvanas had been so reserved taking that into consideration. But then Sylvanas wasn’t like other people. She never had been. And it was one of the things that she loved most about her. She was just so different...so special. She was certain that would never change. 

She had no idea how right she was. 

No, for now - they just enjoyed their pie. Enjoyed the feeling of their fingers twining together comfortably again like they used to. Only different, now. More. So much more. 

“I’ve left some books in your room, Sylvanas. On your bed. That the two of you might find interesting.” 

Lireesa patted the back of her leg as she walked past once they were done with their dessert. 

“Thanks, mom.” 

“Don’t mention it, dear.” 

When they were far enough up the stairs not to hear or see, Aravath cut his eyes at his wife from where he sat. “What kind of books did you leave in her room, Lireesa?” 

“Helpful ones.” She responded simply with an unconcerned shrug as she heard the door to Sylvanas’s bedroom open followed by a rather poignant pause from two sets of feet. 

_”MOM!”_

"Kiss The Girl"  
Samuel E. Wright

There you see her  
Sitting there across the way  
She don't got a lot to say  
But there's something about her  
And you don't know why  
But you're dying to try  
You wanna kiss the girl.

Yes, you want her  
Look at her, you know you do  
It's possible she wants you too  
There's one way to ask her  
It don't take a word, not a single word  
Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)

Shalalalala  
My oh my  
Looks like the boy's too shy  
Ain't gonna kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Ain't that sad  
it's such a shame  
Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl  
go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)

Nows your moment  
Floating in a blue lagoon  
Boy, you better do it soon  
No time will be better  
She don't say a word  
And she wont say a word  
Until you kiss the girl (kiss the girl)

Shalalalala  
Don't be scared  
You better be prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Shalalalala  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl  
Go on and kiss the girl  
(kiss the girl)  
(oh, ohnoo..)  
(kiss the girl, kiss the girl)  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Lalalala, Lalalala  
Go on and kiss the girl

 


	9. Answer

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Lireesa knew she could be whatever she needed to be with Elle. She’d known that for so very many years, now. But as she lingered outside the bakery out of view of the windows she couldn’t help but doubt herself. That was all she’d been doing lately. Since the moment she’d offered to enroll her daughter in formal training she could do little else but regret. Regardless of what Sylvanas said - she knew she’d influenced her. She knew the image she painted for those around her - the heroic, stalwart persona and presence. That was almost all anyone knew. She even hid these fears from Aravath. He had enough of his own. More than enough. 

But she just couldn’t hold it all in any longer. So she’d found herself here. Between the bakery and the adjacent building with her hood pulled up over her head. She almost never wore her hood up. But there was something about this night. She didn’t want anyone to see her. She didn’t want anyone to see the cracks that had begun to form in her visage. 

She heard rustling behind herself and turned. She almost felt her heart skip a beat as Elle tossed the rest of the day’s trash where it would be collected the next morning behind the shop and turned towards her. Her brow furrowed as she tried to discern the shape in the shadows for a moment before the silvery light of Lireesa’s eyes made it all too obvious who was there. 

Elle hadn’t seen her like this very often. She didn’t speak as she made her way over to her and reached for her hood - pulling it away from her face until her ears slipped from the slits in it and stroking her cheeks with her thumb. “Come inside.” She murmured, bending to kiss her forehead. 

“I apologize for not informing you of my visit, I…” Her voice was already cracking. She’d already fallen silent again. 

Elle just shook her head softly. “Shh...none of that. I’m so very glad you’re here. But let’s get you inside.” 

Lireesa allowed herself to be led into the bakery through the back door and once they were in better light Elenia looked her over more carefully - tracing the darkness beneath her eyes worriedly before she unclasped her cloak and hung it on one of the hooks near the door. She let her fingertips brush along the dark feathers that adorned it as she let it go. The feathers had been a new addition since she’d donned the mantle of Ranger-General. Sometimes Elenia wondered if they were as much to remind herself of times passed as they were for aesthetics. A time when she’d been free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_”Are you comfortable back there?”_

_Lireesa’s voice was so low and gentle and Elenia had always found it soothing even after a long, difficult ride that had begun before the sun was even out that morning._

_“I am. How long until we reach Silvermoon?” She brushed her nose along the nape of Lireesa’s neck and breathed in the scent of her hair. She’d only just met the mercenary a month earlier yet it felt like they’d known one another all their lives._

_“Mm, soon. Within the hour.” She leaned back in the saddle against Elenia as she spoke and chuckled softly when she felt the other woman rest her chin on her shoulder so she could watch the path in front of them._

_“Do you appreciate the view?” She asked with a faint smirk on her lips as one of Elenias hands came to rest against the top of her thigh._

_“It’s better than the back of your head. But here’s hoping when we get to Silvermoon I can see the front of you.”_

_“Bold.” Lireesa husked as she turned her head to press a quick kiss to Elenia’s cheek - using the other woman’s now steady, and hard-earned, seat in the saddle to help herself balance before she turned her attention back to the road. “As though you haven’t already seen enough of the front of me.”_

_Elenia couldn’t help but laugh at that. She’d seen quite a bit, yes. Lireesa made a bit of a habit lately of leaving her clothing outside their tent to dry and making her way into their tent utterly naked despite having changes of clothes in her saddlebags. But Elenia certainly didn’t mind._

_They both fell into an easy silence as the road and an odd sight caught Elenia’s attention along the hedgerows near the edge of the road. She couldn’t recall ever having seen such a thing. Little bodies on thorns here and there as though they’d been hung. Just mice and voles and other various creatures. “Lireesa...what in the world is that?”_

_She reached around the older woman to gesture towards another stand of thorned bushes containing the strange sight and the mercenary’s gaze followed to where her finger pointed. “Ah.” Her response was simple and he sat up in her saddle - her head turning slowly as her sharp eyes scanned the treetops spanning the width of the road until they finally seemed to land on something. “Do you see her? She’s small.” But Elle had gotten good at following Lireesa’s eyes - at seeing what she was seeing. They’d been in situations that were much more precarious than this and it had been an absolutely necessary skill to develop._

_“Mhm. The little bird.” She rested her chin back on Lireesa’s shoulder as she looked up at it and it turned its attention toward her in a strangely intelligent display._

_“A shrike. A carnivore. She hunts by impaling her prey on thorns and sharp branches. These are her hunting grounds.”_

_As long as she’d been around, Elenia had never heard of a shrike. But then - she’d been a village baker for most of her life. Buried in her work and in her little community until she’d lost it all. Until Lireesa found her._

_When the bird flicked its head in the other direction she noticed the mask-like stripe of feathers across her eyes and slid her arms around Lireesa’s middle. “She wears the same warpaint as you.” She murmured, resting her cheek on the back of her shoulder as the older woman smiled._

_“I suppose she does.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you need, Lireesa? Do you need to eat? Do you need to rest?” She asked when she turned back to face her and reached to stroke along her arm. 

“I need you.” She responded quietly, leaning into the other woman as she moved closer and half melting into her embrace as it was offered to her in the form of arms that were strong from years of work. 

“I’m right here.” She reassured quietly - though the words caught slightly in her throat as Lireesa nudged gently at her jaw with her nose and sought the side of her neck with her lips. “When did you last eat? When did you last sleep?” She continued as Lireesa’s hands ran along her sides and around to her back. 

“Please don’t.” Lireesa breathed against the corner of her jaw - allowing the tips of her fangs to graze it just barely. 

“This isn’t why you came here tonight, Lireesa.” Elle whispered in response, but her arms never loosened. Her thumbs never stopped their gentle stroking against her back. “And I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s on your mind. You know you’re safe here. You know that. And you know that I love you. That I always will. Please don’t be scared. Not here. Not with me.” 

Lireesa swallowed repeatedly as Elenia spoke and her head slowly lowered against her shoulder as she shuddered and shook her head. But it was too late. The walls were gone already. And Elle held her close as the first hot, wet tears met her shoulder. 

“You’re okay.” Elle brought a hand up to cradle the back of Lireesa’s head and she could almost feel the effort she was putting into reining herself back in. But for a while, she couldn’t. There weren’t sobs, really. There rarely were. Just the occasional tear and the feeling of her burying her face against her neck as her hands grasped the soft material of her shirt. 

She didn’t speak again until Lireesa calmed somewhat. Only then did she finally pull back and bring the cleanest edge of her apron up to wipe her face - careful around her eyes as she cleaned up the liner she always wore around them. Even now, when she was so on edge. So close to breaking down completely. Maybe especially at times like these. Elenia would never understand how she kept it up. All of it, really. But what she could do was be here for her. To care for her when she would finally allow someone to. 

“Dinner first.” Her voice was quiet but firm and Lireesa once again let herself be led - this time towards the kitchen of the bakery until she was half lifted into a stool near the large wooden island in the center. “Look at me.” 

Lireesa responded immediately - her eyes snapping up to meet Elenia’s with none of the usual mask in front of them. It wasn’t often Elenia issued orders. And when she did - Lireesa tended to listen. Especially when, deep down, she knew she needed to. “Stay with me a few days. I know you can afford to. Rest. Recover.” Her eyes fluttered at the kiss that was brushed against the corner of her mouth. She didn’t have an argument. Aravath would be glad for it. He’d been worrying himself sick over her. Sylvanas was gone on her first week of training - with one of the unit captains, as was tradition. And she wouldn’t break it. The last thing her daughter needed was special treatment. And Alleria was in the field. There was no reason for her to say no. And she didn’t want to. 

“I’ll stay. I’ll stay for a few nights if you’ll have me. At least three.” She murmured as Elenia moved her lips to her cheek and kissed it lightly. 

“I would have you every night you can spare for the rest of my life. Now let me find you something to eat. I know you’re starving. Even if you don’t feel it right now.” 

“Wait.” Lireesa breathed - reaching for her wrist and pulling her close again when she began to move away. The older woman reached up and cradled the sides of her neck in her hands, caressing the line of her jaw with her thumbs as she pulled her down so their foreheads rested together. “You are so good to me, Elenia.” Her voice was quiet - subdued as the other woman began stroking the tips of her fingers through dark locks of hair that were pulled back away from her face - careful not to tangle the strands that hung loose framed the sides of it. 

“How could I not be?” She asked just as softly in response - lifting her head slowly and pressing a kiss to the top of Lireesa’s. “I’ll be just over there. I’ll find you some dinner and then finish up down here and we can go upstairs.” 

“Can I have a kiss?” Lireesa’s response came with a weak smile and Elenia brushed her thumb across her lips before leaning down and pressing her own against them. Some might not think deeply enough about Elenia to wonder if she was good at certain things. Most might not view her that way at all. But there was enough softness in her kiss and in her lips to get lost in for hours. For a lifetime. And Lireesa had been guilty of getting lost in her more times than she could count. The way the younger woman touched her - coaxed things from her she sometimes didn’t know were still there...the softness of her body and the warmth of her... Her eyes shut as Elenia’s lips parted from her own in a lingering fashion. “No more until you’ve eaten.” She murmured as she caressed her cheek - though she had a hard time walking away, herself. Even to care for her. Even just across the kitchen. She always did. 

And her eyes wandered over to Lireesa for a moment as she opened one of the cupboards only to find her laying her head against her arms on the island. Sleep, then. She needed to sleep when they were done. She reached up and unhooked the leg of cured ham she’d been going after and carried it over to the island as Lireesa lifted her head and smiled. Such an expensive piece of meat and the older woman knew Elenia didn’t sell it. She knew she kept it around for her. 

“Something light, then?” The baker asked quietly as she retrieved a freshly sharpened knife from one of the drawers beneath the counter and used the edge of it to peel off the layer of fat that had been protecting the most recent cuts she’d made on it. “Perhaps some wine?” 

“You spoil me. Again. Do you have any tomatoes?” She leaned in as the first sliver was offered to her on the dull edge of the knife and took it gingerly with her teeth - sighing quietly as the marbling within the meat began melting almost as soon as she had it in her mouth. 

“What do you take me for, Lireesa?” Elenia chided gently as she leaned down to begin making quicker slices with an ease that sometimes even Lireesa marvelled at. “To insinuate I don’t know this needs something acidic with it…” But even as she feigned an incredibly haughty tone, she smiled in a way that Lireesa found infectious. 

“My apologies, Lady Elenia. However can I make it up to you?” She leaned over the counter, then and reached for another sliver of ham that Elenia pretended to pay no mind to. 

“By eating. By talking to me once you have - and then by going to sleep in my arms.” She responded as though it were the most obvious solution in the world. 

“Mm. A concession I might be willing to make.” 

Elenia flashed a rather gentle look at her as she lifted the ham and moved towards the cupboard to hang it back up once she covered the freshly cut strip of meat on top of it with a fresh layer of fat to keep it from airing out. She returned to the counter with a handful of small tomatoes and left them before reaching beneath it for a tray of long, thin loaves that had only recently come out of the oven. She sliced enough pieces for them both and then made quick work of the tomatoes as Lireesa watched her quietly - captivated by what she was doing. Every move she made was so sure and so effortless. These were some of the little things she loved about her. Little, intangible things that had always caught her off-guard. She was, perhaps, the only person alive who could do that. Catch her unawares. 

Her selection of olive oil was almost as interesting as her cutting had been. She seemed to pour over the various bottles lining the ridged backsplash over the huge ovens before finally selecting one. “This one I just got from a travelling trader.” She explained, drizzling some over the small heel of bread she’d left laying on the counter and passing it over to Lireesa. “Do you like it?”

Lireesa brought it to her nose and the light, fruity scent of the oil mixed with the warm, nutty smell of the freshly sliced bread. If Elenia was trying to distract her - she didn’t really mind. Especially when she took a bite and sighed quietly. “You knew I would like it.” She responded simply, finishing it off and draping one of her arms along the edge of the island. 

“Perhaps that’s why I chose it.” 

The smells she’d always found so comforting washed over her anew as freshly-drizzled bread slices made its way onto the searing hot top of the oven until they were crisp and the oil had tinged the bread a deep, honey-yellow behind the crust - a crust that was quickly topped with tomato slices so thin you could see through them as soon as she carried them back over to Lireesa - in her bare hands, no less. But that had never bothered Elenia. Not even more severe burns seemed to bother her. 

Lireesa could understand that. She had quite a few rather dreadful scars that she could no longer even remember the story behind. They just all seemed rather insignificant now. What was significant was the time they had together. And when she wasn’t capable of making the most of it - Elenia had no qualms doing it for her. 

The wine she already had sitting on the edge of the counter was an often-made choice for both of them. A deep, rich red with a gentle bite at the very end. Another tool to cut through the fat and the rich saltiness of the ham and the oil that had been used to crisp the bread - which only made the very next bite taste just as good as the first. 

It was one of the best dinners she’d had in a long time, even if she knew Elenia might have liked to make them a more substantial meal. It was about all she could handle right then. She ate in silence, her eyelids already drooping as she got halfway through her second glass of wine and she scarcely noticed as Elle finished cleaning up and slowly moved to stand behind her. That was, until a gentle arm across the front of her shoulders guided her to lean back. 

“I have a few loaves to knead and pan for proofing. It shouldn’t take me more than a quarter of an hour. Will you make it, or would you like me to help you to bed?”

The younger woman spoke quietly against the sensitive skin just behind her ear and Lireesa lifted a hand to wrap around her forearm, squeezing it and then stroking it in lazy, light touches. “I would rather be down here with you, if you don’t mind.” 

“Of course. Why don’t you come stand with me? I’ll never forgive myself if you pass out on that stool and fall off it.” Elenia winked at her and smiled as she turned away to retrieve a few bowls of dough from the back counter. She unwrapped each of them as Lireesa stood slowly amd moved behind her - pressing close to her and nipping her ear gently.

“I’ve too much grace and catlike reflexes to fall off of something. Please.” 

“You’re also wildly distracting. Take the towels off those two bowls, there. You’re going to help me so we can get to bed.”

Lireesa froze for a moment - pulling away from her to find a spot beside her at the counter as she looked down at the bowls and peeled the towels back carefully. “I don’t ...think I’m qualified for this, if I’m being entirely honest.” 

A laugh caught in the back of Elenia’s throat as she scooped the first puffed ball of dough from its resting place and scattered flour in front of both herself and Lireesa. “To knead dough? Please, beloved. Try your best. I’m sure it will all work out in the end.” 

More distractions. More expertly crafted moments on Elenia’s part that drew her from despair and into something normal. An escape. The baker kept an eye on Lireesa - an eye Lireesa wasn’t paying much attention to as she narrowed her eyes and studied the other woman’s hands for a while as they worked. She gathered some of the flour on her own and then began working at the dough. She did decently at first. But she didn’t think to add more flour as it began sticking to the countertop - she simply kneaded harder. As though that were a plausible solution. 

Elenia paused in her own work as a soft smile crossed her lips when she next glanced over at the slightly agitated, hyper-focused expression on Lireesa’s face and the little pieces of dough scattered around the bigger piece that was currently tearing slightly under her attention. When she reached over to still the older woman’s hands Lireesa lifted her eyes to her slowly as her ears wilted somewhat. “It was…”

“Here.” She half-cooed as she sprinkled more flour over everything. “Gently. It’s bread. It doesn’t respond well to being beaten into submission. I know you can be gentle…” The lilt to her voice in that last comment coupled with the playful bump of the younger woman’s hip against her own caused her to relax again. To be less focused on getting it perfect and start mimicking Elenia’s own movements. 

Before she knew it - all the bowls were empty and the pans were filled with what would soon become loaves and Lireesa wandered towards the sink after Elenia after trying her best to rid herself of the flour she’d nothing short of gotten covered with. 

“What a precious Ranger-General.” Elenia remarked idly as she lifted a brow and looked over at her - bringing a damp hand up to wipe a smudge of flour from the sharpness of her jaw. 

“Precious, indeed.” Lireesa grumbled softly as she leaned against the sink when Elenia reached to turn it off. 

“Velandra will be here soon. She can take it from here. Let’s go get you cleaned up, hm?” She wiped her hands on her apron as she moved to stand in front of the other woman and find her lips with her own. When they finally managed to part and make their way towards Elenia’s chambers Velandra had already been making quite a bit of noise in the front half of the bakery to announce her presence. She knew Elenia didn’t leave flour footprints on the floor. She also knew these footprints were too small to belong to her, anyway. 

Elenia washed herself off rather quickly as she filled the tub with steaming water for Lireesa - tugging on a robe and moving over to her as she began to slump on a chair in the corner of the room. “Let me get you out of these. I’ll have them washed tomorrow.” 

She received an almost unintelligible murmur in response and, with a bit of effort, had her clothes discarded in a pile on the floor. She stroked along familiar scars that marred her lover’s slender, muscular back as she helped her down into the water and smiled faintly at the appreciative groan that came from her as she relaxed into it. 

It was easy to coax words from her now, as she washed her. But she started as small as she always did - asking about Alleria first, then easing her way around to Sylvanas as she allowed a stream of water to run down the center of her chest from the cloth and brushed the bridge of her nose through her hair. 

“You already know how I feel. I don’t know how to feel any other way. I feel like...I don’t mean to sound so dramatic, but I feel like I’ve given her a death sentence. It may not be this year. This decade. This century...but our peace was hard won. And no peace lasts forever.”

“Truer words were never spoken, Lady Duskheart.” Elenia’s voice was calm and steady - a soothing undercurrent to the gentle stroking of cloth and scented soaps against her skin. “But eventually, we all leave this place. And those that go in a way that they have chosen, perhaps, go more willingly - more contentedly - than most. And this is the life she has chosen for herself. Not one you have forced upon her. She had more choice than you did.” As if to soften the blow that statement might have come as she stilled her hand at the base of Lireesa’s throat and ran the side of her thumb along the front of it softly. 

The older woman’s hand moved to cover her own firmly, then, and some of the tension she carried in her body seemed to ease - much to Elenia’s relief. “You give yourself so little credit, Lireesa.” She whispered, reaching down to allow the water to start draining from the tub. “You have carried your burdens for longer than most could ever imagine. You needn’t burden yourself further with misplaced guilt. Enjoy that your daughters have found purpose in this life. Accept the feeling of pride you find yourself pushing down more often than not. You have done such wonderful, beautiful things. And I am so very proud of you. Even if you can’t be proud of yourself, right now. I’ll be here until you can. And every day thereafter.” 

Lireesa was quiet for a while - listening to the water drain as Elenia moved her hand to thread her fingers through silver-streaked hair. Once the water was all gone she helped her up and got her dry before making her way towards the bedroom with her - their hands never leaving one-another’s body’s. Just a gentle, reaffirming touch here and there until Elenia slipped her robe off and made her way under the covers with Lireesa. They laid on their sides facing each other - Elenia tracing the lines of Lireesa’s face as The other woman cradled hers in her palm - her eyes only half-open now. She was so tired. So very ready to give in. To give in to _all_ of it. 

“I know that you’re right.” She finally responded quietly. “But I’m worried. I’m so worried for her.” 

“She is your daughter, Lireesa. That’s only you being a mother. That’s only you loving her.” 

Finally, as she drifted off, she allowed herself to take comfort in those words. And in the feeling of Elenia pulling her more strongly into her arms.

"Answer"  
Sarah McLachlan

I will be the answer  
At the end of the line  
I will be there for you  
While you take the time  
In the burning of uncertainty  
I will be your solid ground  
I will hold the balance  
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life  
I won't break, I won't bend  
It will all be worth it  
Worth it in the end  
Cause I can only tell you what I know  
That I need you in my life  
When the stars have all gone out  
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently  
Into morning  
For the night has been unkind  
Take me to a  
Place so holy  
That I can wash this from my mind  
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life  
I won't break, I won't bend  
It will all be worth it  
Worth it in the end  
'Cause I can only tell you what I know  
That I need you in my life  
When the stars have all burned out  
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently  
Into morning  
For the night has been unkind

 

 

Bonus content: I drew Lireesa...?

<https://uninspired--poet.tumblr.com/post/183421842619/sometimes-you-just-need-to-draw-your-hc-of-lireesa>


	10. Wild Love

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Ranger Captain Loralen looked at the disheveled, panting group of young women in front of her - some of them bent with their hands on their knees and some of them halfway to the ground in their exhaustion as she walked along the messy line they’d made. “Every one of you could have run that faster. We are elves. Not dwarves. Not _snails_. And you…” She paused in front of Sylvanas - who was standing perfectly still at attention with only a faint sheen of sweat on her brow. “You look as though you didn’t even try. Explain yourself.”

“With due respect, I am only as fast as the slowest Ranger in my unit, Captain. It would do me no good to lose them behind me and have to turn back for them.” This gave the Captain pause and she tilted her head as she looked into the eyes of the girl who was the most promising of any group she’d ever worked with. 

“See that they become faster then, recruit. See that they do not slow you down.” Her voice retained the same harshness of edge - of stern, disconnected authority. But there was a faintly impressed smile playing about her lips. 

“Of course, Captain.” 

And without waiting for the woman to give the order she turned to face the other six in her training unit - watching as they dragged themselves to their feet. Her wandering gaze halted on Velonara for a moment - who was doing better than any of the rest of them save herself - and then moved on. “You heard the captain. Again. Faster this time.” 

Despite her utter lack of any real authority - there was just something about her tone that warranted listening to. The sharp conciseness of it and the volume she seemed to be able to produce effortlessly just weren’t something to be argued with. 

Once again - Sylvanas ran behind them instead of in front of them. She watched their footing as they followed the trail that had been littered with tracks for them to scout and shouted corrections when they needed to be made. Her distracted focus cost her a few light scratches along her cheeks from branches she didn’t see coming but she was unphased. Even when the underbrush got thicker and they had to take to the trees for a time - her attention remained on the other young women she’d come to know so well recently. 

She knew Anya’s jump had been miscalculated before she’d even landed. The pained grunt she released when she did only confirmed this and Sylvanas lept down quickly to her side as she rolled onto her back with a grimace and reached for her ankle. 

The other recruits skidded to a halt and Velonara jogged over to them - panting for breath with concern-laden features. 

“It isn’t broken.” Sylvanas stated. “I would have heard it when she landed. Let’s get this boot off. Velonara, continue the run. I’ll catch up.” 

Velonara nodded simply and sprinted towards the edge of the clearing - grasping the arm of a distracted Ranger Recruit to tug her along by her side until they’d all broken out into a run again. 

“You must always look twice before you jump.” Sylvanas murmured as she began pulling her boot from her foot in one gentle, careful motion so it wouldn’t become stuck when the sprain began to swell. 

“I’m sorry. I know you just got a dressing down and...I just tend to ruin things, that’s all.” Sylvanas looked up at her as she undid her belt only to place the boot beneath it and buckle it again so it wouldn’t get lost. 

“Don’t apologize. These things happen. But we’re finishing this run.” 

Anya’s eyes went wide with fear, suddenly. There was no way she could run with these white-hot daggers lancing her ankle into her foot. She was so shocked she couldn’t even give voice to her concerns. 

But what shocked her more was Sylvanas pushing one of her legs aside and moving to sit between them facing away from her. “Arms around my neck. Legs around my waist.” 

The other young woman obeyed wordlessly and as soon as she had a firm hold Sylvanas began to lean forward with her weight on her back, forcing first one knee beneath their combined mass then the other until she was standing. Anya was larger than her and she didn’t have the strength yet that she might someday have. But she had enough for this. 

She walked for a few steps. Just to get their balance right. To make necessary adjustments. And then she resumed largely the same length of stride she’d been taking earlier - albeit more hunched in order to keep Anya on her back. She never quite caught up. But she did see the light at the edge of the camp clearing soon enough and she could already hear the Captain’s voice. 

“We are missing two. Wasn’t one of you just mentioning the slowest Ranger in her unit? And is she not one of them that is missing?” Everyone knew who she was, of course. But right now - she was just another Recruit. One to be shaped and molded until she became the thing that would keep both herself and those she would defend alive. 

But right then, as she emerged into the clearing and her labored strides became slow shuffles and finally stopped, there was little doubt as to who she was. She was shaking as she lowered herself to one knee and allowed Anya to slide from her back onto the softness of the ground. Her vision was spinning. Her lungs and every muscle in her body were on fire. 

“Enough for today.” The Captain announced - already on her way over to the pair as Sylvanas struggled and failed to get herself standing and at attention. 

“At ease.” The aging High Elf glanced over at her own tent, shared by her lover who had been out all night creating trails for the recruits to follow. “Kalira!” 

The woman had already woken in response to both the commotion and the shift in energy in their camp and she emerged - squinting at the brightness of the daylight as she made her way to Loralen’s side. 

“This one. Get her to her tent and check her ankle, please, my love. The rest of you - go get washed up for dinner and straighten camp when you’ve finished.” 

She had noticed how Velonara hovered near Sylvanas as she held herself up off the ground on arms that shook and her sides heaved beneath her tunic with each breath she took. She noticed that even in the presence of her own authority - even with the tone she’d used to give those orders - the young woman seemed reluctant to obey, though the others - glad for the reprieve - already had. 

“Is this where your loyalty lies, then?” Lorelan’s voice was quiet enough that only the three of them could hear it after Kalira helped Anya to her feet and further into her camp. 

“Captain, forgive me. I…”

“Help her to the stream. Be sure she doesn’t get cool too quickly. Check her for strains and be easy with her tonight.” 

“Be easy with...oh.” Velonara looked away quickly as a blush darkened her cheeks and one of her feet shuffled in the groundcover below. 

Velonara had felt that was a dismissal. And perhaps for her it had been. But the older woman knelt in front of Sylvanas slowly and reached down to lift her chin - her narrowed blue eyes burning into the glowing grey of her’s. “That is something your mother would have done.” Lorelan said - all the edge gone from her voice as she grasped Sylvanas’s forearm with her free hand to help her up. “And it was the right thing to do. Perhaps if you continue making me look good I’ll be retired into a training role. Off with you. Before Velonara has a litter of worry-kittens.” 

As soon as they were dismissed, Velonara had an arm around Sylvanas’s waist, supporting her the whole way to the stream - purposely taking her to the opposite end of it than the others normally bathed at. By the time they got there Sylvanas’s breathing had returned to normal but she was slumping slightly against her. She cared little for her own clothes - stepping into the waist-high water as she helped Sylvanas sit on the bank and reached to cradle her face. “Why did you do that? You didn’t have to do that.” She murmured softly as she stroked across the still flushed skin of her cheeks before guiding the hair that was plastered to her face away from it and pulling the hood of her cloak back until it slipped from her ears. 

“I did. I did have to.” 

Velonara’s brow furrowed as she unclasped the cloak altogether and allowed it to fall to the ground behind Sylvanas - her hands stroking down her arms and her legs, kneading the muscles of her calves and thighs to check for any tightness or swelling. “We are only training…” She murmured absently as she pulled Sylvanas’s damp tunic from her body and laid it atop her cloak. 

“That could happen again. It could happen when we aren’t training. All of this could happen when we aren’t training, Vel. And we all have to be ready for that. Especially me.” 

“What good will you do anyone if you kill yourself just trying to graduate?” She responded quietly - an almost beseeching tone slipping into her voice as Sylvanas grasped her shoulders once her boots were removed to make it easier for Velonara to peel her leggings from her. 

“I won’t. I promise.” There was an apology just at the edge of her words as she sank down into the cool water and a shuddering breath escaped her - her eyes slipping shut. She just allowed the water to flow over her too-hot skin as Velonara undressed herself as well and the coolness of it against her back was replaced by the other woman’s warmth as she slid between her back and the edge she’d been resting against. 

A quiet, appreciative groan escaped Sylvanas’s lips as Velonara began kneading the muscles of her shoulders after shifting her hair over the front of her shoulder and out of the way. She might have drifted off if her curiosity hadn’t begun to get the better of her. 

“What did the Captain mean...be easy with me?” She asked quietly. 

“She thinks we’re sleeping together.” Velonara responded as she found a knot just to the side of her shoulder blade and began working at it slowly with her thumbs. “Everyone does.”

“Does that bother you?” Sylvanas asked worriedly as she turned her head so she could just barely see her from the corner of her eye. 

Velonara smiled faintly as she moved to the next knot to give it similar attention - leaning forward to kiss the place where the last one had been. “It does not. Though their accuracy leaves something to be desired.” 

Sylvanas fell quiet for a time, then, before she turned slowly in the water to look at her - sitting sideways between her legs with one of her hands running slowly along her thigh. “Do you...do you want to go have dinner and…”  
The pause felt as heavy as it was and Velonara’s hand kept trailing lazily along Sylvanas’s back even though her breath caught in her throat. Something about the way Sylvanas looked right then caught her off-guard. She was so unsure. So unlike her usual self. It was something she and very few others ever got to see. 

“We can just eat and sleep like always, Sylvanas.” She responded - her voice lacking any real strength or volume. “You know I don’t care. You know all I want is you. To be near you. No matter what happens, as long as we’re together - the rest can…” 

Her words trailed into nothing as Sylvanas’s gaze shifted from her eyes to her lips then further down only to be followed physically. Velonara tilted her head to the side as Sylvanas pressed close to her and released a shaky breath against her neck. 

They’d done little more than kiss over the months since their fishing trip. And their kisses always left them both aching. Wanting more but not reaching for it. 

This seemed so different. Sylvanas had never touched her quite like this before. But suddenly there was a hand along one side of her neck and teeth grazing her skin apprehensively in a way that produced a slightly choked nose in the back of her throat - one that caused Sylvanas to pause immediately. 

“Was that...do you not...do you not like it when I use my teeth?” She asked quietly, only to find Velonara’s hand coming up to rest against the back of her neck to keep her close. 

“I like it very much when you use your teeth.” She whispered in response. “But you can stop if you like.” 

She didn’t want to stop anymore. They helped each other out of the strem and fell against its bank - facing one another on their sides until Velonara propped herself up on one arm and leaned over, first brushing her lips with a light kiss and then finding her neck in turn, parting her lips against it to suck over the skin, though she was careful not to leave more than faintly reddening skin behind. A mark that would be gone again by the time they reached camp. A mark that was found shortly thereafter by her own teeth - delivering a gentle pinch that drew a sharp gasp in its wake. “See?” She asked quietly. 

And Sylvanas definitely saw. Neither of them were sure if they were trembling so badly because of nerves or something else, but Velonara moved lower regardless as she traced the slowest, lightest circles along the front of Sylvanas’s softly toned stomach. There were no more teeth for now, though. Just Sylvanas’s breaths catching in her throat as Velonara’s lips found her chest - just the very start of the swell of her breasts. 

“Do you know how beautiful you are like this?” Velonara asked as the redness in her face spread along the length of her ears as she lifted her eyes when her hand paused on Sylvanas’s hip. 

Only to find her eyelids fluttering slightly but not opening and to receive an unintelligible murmur in response. The sun washing over their drying bodies and the softness of the moss beneath her coupled with Velonara’s feather-light touches had been too much for her exhausted body. 

But it wasn’t frustration she felt. Just more of the same adoration for her that Velonara was already brimming with. She looked wild and free in that moment. Breathtaking. Her long, wet waves of platinum hair contrasting starkly with the dark green she rested upon - the errant freckle on her golden skin here and there and even the fading bruises from training accidents. And especially the scars on her knees on her otherwise flawless form from their playing together as children. She was so perfect. And Velonara was loathe to wake her - but she had no choice. They both needed to eat after the day they’d had. And they needed to be clothed and back at camp for that to happen.

She woke her gently, though. With kisses along her face and over the lids of her eyes as she trailed her fingertips along her thigh until a quiet groan let her know her efforts were working. 

“You fell asleep on me.” She whispered as she bumped their foreheads together before helping her sit up. 

“Vel, I didn’t mean...I’m sorry…” Sylvanas looked almost embarrassed but she chased the expression away with a kiss. “Another time, my beautiful one. Let’s get some food and some real rest in you for now.” 

Sylvanas might have argued if Velonara wasn’t so right but her whole body ached, now. For rest and for stillness and even pulling her clothes back on caused twinges of pain she’d never experienced before. They twined their fingers together now and then as they walked back towards camp but Velonara stopped them both with a gentle pull on Sylvanas’s wrist that caused her to turn and face her. 

“I was so proud of you earlier.” She murmured as she reached up to stroke up her chest and then kneaded her shoulder for a moment. “I’ve never been so proud of anything in my life.” 

It was so intimate. So personal. Almost more so than their earlier moment had been. And it left Sylvanas speechless. All she could do was tilt her head slightly and lean in to kiss her - just a soft, lingering, shallow thing as held onto Velonara’s hip and stroked her waist with her thumb. 

Velonara returned the kiss and her hand shifted from her shoulder - trailing beneath her arm around her back and clutching her cloak as she pulled her into a firm hug. 

“Food and the rest.” She whispered - smiling as Sylvanas nodded and rested her chin on her shoulder for a moment. 

“Alright. But only if we cuddle.” 

Velonara’s faint smile turned into one she could no longer control as she pulled away and walked the rest of the way into the clearing by her side towards the large pot over the central campfire that smelled, to her, like stew. Rabbit. Venison, perhaps. All she knew was she was starving and that meant Sylvanas was undoubtedly wasting away. 

“We cuddle every night we’re together, Sylvanas. What makes you think that would change now?” She asked as they were each passed a simple wooden bowl so they could ladle their own portions. Their special treat for the evening were torn-off hunks of rather fresh smelling bread. It was rare they got that out here and they were both thankful. 

“Sometimes I just need to make sure, that’s all.” Sylvanas responded through the bite of bread she hadn’t managed to wait to begin eating until they got to their tent. 

“Always ask if you aren’t sure, then. No matter what it is that you aren’t sure about.” 

Sylvanas nodded faintly and held their tent open so Velonara could get in and they ate in sleepy, sated silence as the noise around camp gradually began to die down with the setting of the sun. She was sure night operations would be suspended taking into account Anya’s injury and she was right. They would be allowed a full night and it was something she desperately needed. But the worry nagging in her mind as they placed their cleaned bowls outside the tent to be washed in the morning wouldn't let her rest. Even as they became nothing more than a bundle of legs and arms and her face was pressed into the crook of Velonara’s neck so she could fully enjoy the trailing of fingertips along her back. 

“You said I could ask if I wasn’t sure.” She murmured against the other girl’s shoulder - allowing her lips to brush her skin as Velonara only tightened her hold on her. 

“Always.”

“Are you getting tired of waiting for me? Are you going to get tired of it? I know I’m different. Believe me, I know. I know I’m not like the others...and that you haven’t had with me what most of them have had. I’m ready. Believe me, I am. I’m just so tired, and...I just want to be good for you. When we…” She trailed off and pursed her lips in frustration at herself and Velonara curled her head down to kiss her cheek firmly. 

“If you weren’t ready for a hundred years I would still be right here. I don’t care if it’s because you’re tired or not ready or you just have a headache. I don’t care if its because your breakfast was burned. Or if you have no reason at all because you don’t owe me one. Nor do you owe me an explanation. And don’t worry about being good for me. We’re both new to this. We’ll figure it out as we go, just like we have been.” She pulled back so she could look into Sylvanas’s eyes and the sincerity in her own was more than plain to see. “You’ll be perfect. You always are. No matter what. And I’ll do my best to be good for you, too. But, Sylvanas, we’re just good _together_. And the rest will come with time. Do you believe me?” 

Sylvanas nodded faintly - regarding her with a strange look in her eyes. A lingering one that felt like it pierced her very soul. A look of realization and of shock and acceptance all at once. 

“Sylvanas...what is that look? Are you okay?” 

“I think I love you.” She responded almost too quickly - her pulse hammering in her ears. “I...I think I’m in love with you.” 

Velonara released a shaky breath of relief and shook her head. “Silly Elf.” She breathed - tracing along her delicate brow and then running the backs of her fingers down her cheek as her eyes began to shut slowly, despite how she fought against it. “I’m in love with you, too, of course. And I’m sure I’ll still be in love with you in the morning. After you’ve slept.”

Sylvanas could only respond with a faint crinkle of her nose as the flush in her face began to subside and sleep took its hold - having been held at bay for far too long. 

Velonara wasn’t far behind - though the racing of her heart threatened to keep her up along with the racing of her thoughts. 

Sylvanas loved her. 

She was _in_ love with her.

 

"Wild Love"  
James Bay

Don't know what to say to you now  
Standing right in front of you  
Don't know how to fade in and out  
Don't know how to play it cool  
Lose a little guard, let it down  
We don't have to think it through  
We've got to let go

I wanna give you wild love  
The kind that never slows down  
I wanna take you high up  
Let our hearts be the only sound  
I wanna go where the lights burn low and you're only mine  
I wanna give you wild love

Tried to call you to feel you close  
From a runway in Tokyo  
Let's leave the atmosphere, disappear  
There's always something left to lose

But I wanna give you wild love  
The kind that never slows down  
I wanna take you high up  
Let our hearts be the only sound  
I wanna go where the lights burn low and you're only mine  
I wanna give you wild love  
I wanna give you wild love

(Love, love, love)  
(Love, love, love)  
I wanna give you wild love  
(Love, love, love)  
I wanna give you wild love  
(Love, love, love)

Let's be reckless, unaffected  
Running out until we're breathless  
Let's be hopeful, don't get broken  
Let's stay caught up in the moment


	11. Trees

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

To say they were busy would have been an understatement. Most nights they barely made it to their tent before passing out. Sometimes without even the energy to eat. And on their weeks off, more often than not, Sylvanas was with her mother in Silvermoon or at Farstrider Enclave at various meetings. 

It wasn’t that Velonara wasn’t grateful for the time they did get together. It was just that she wanted more of it and it had been extremely difficult that night sitting in their tent waiting for the other sounds around camp to die off. Sylvanas almost always took first watch on their night exercises to give the rest of them a chance to rest before any drills began and Velonara knew it was wearing on her. She could see it in the darkness under her eyes and hear it in the groans that came every time she half-stumbled into their tent to find the warmth of her arms to sleep in once her watch was over. 

She wasn’t going to let her go it alone tonight, though. Even if it meant sneaking past far too many highly sensitive sets of ears to get to her. That didn’t mean her heart wasn’t hammering with every step she took, though - her eyes focused on the treeline Sylvanas was in in the distance and her ears twitching in response to each and every sound. Even the bugs skittering through the grass away from her silent footfalls. 

Velonara froze at the sound of cloth rustling and dropped low to the ground - her eyes darting to the side only to catch sight of a tent flap closing instead of opening far enough on the other side of camp that they couldn’t possibly have seen her. 

“Loralen.” The captain’s eyes fluttered slightly and she held her arms open instinctually, assuming Kalira just wanted to lay back down with her. And she did. She moved onto their shared bed roll and found her lover’s hand stroking the back of her head as she yawned. “Mm?”

“I just saw Velonara heading for the edge of camp. My guess is she’s going to see the Windrunner girl. She’s got first watch tonight.”

Kalira’s lips quirked as Loralen’s chest rose and fell with near-silent, sleepy laughter. “Why don’t you take the night off, my love? Give them a break, and yourself as well.” She finally responded - opening her eyes just enough to see the younger ranger. She ran her hand down to cradle the side of her face and urged her closer with the arm she was wrapping around the small of her back. “You know how terribly I miss sleeping with you when we’re training recruits. I find myself lamenting your excellent night vision more often than I should.” 

“You’re the Captain.” Kalira whispered in reply as she began to relax into her. 

“I am. And you’ve done wonderfully with them this week. They can certainly have one night of reprieve after you’ve put them so thoroughly through their paces. My little creature of the night…” 

“Mmm, creature of the night, indeed. I’ll be more than glad to return to my normal duties once this is over.” 

Loralen murmured her agreement as Kalira settled her head against her chest. “And perhaps a few others you’ve been putting on the back burner as of late.” 

“You know very well I’m worth the wait, Lor.” Kalira breathed - already lulled into a near sleep-like state by the continual stroking of her hair. 

“Oh, that I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t difficult to follow Sylvanas’s trail - and that was a testament to how exhausted she must have been. In fact it led directly to the base of what Velonara assumed was her chosen tree for the evening. She knew her chances of surprising her were slim to none...but that didn’t stop her from wanting to try. 

She studied the trunk for a moment - gauging the best hand holds and footholds before she gathered herself and leaped upward - holding a majority of her weight by a single knot in the wood for a moment as she thought about her next move and then made it. All the way into the center bowl of the tree - where she expected her to be. Only...she wasn’t there. 

As she slipped down into the bowl in confusion and moved to stand her brow furrowed as she noticed the slightly slumped looking shadow straddling one of the upper limbs. She hadn’t heard her? Seen her? That couldn’t be. Sylvanas had the sharpest ears of any of them and by far the sharpest eyes. 

She moved towards her quickly, now - pushing branches aside in her haste and hissing to try and get her attention. 

It wasn’t until the branch beneath Sylvanas shifted beneath Velonara’s added weight that she woke with a start - scrambling to turn and face whatever was coming for her but only succeeding in slipping sideways with an alarmed grunt. Gods, this was going to hurt. 

In fact, she was still thinking about it even as she hung over the distant ground with Velonara’s fingertips digging into her wrist - still so dazed with sleep and shock. 

“Up, Sylvanas. I can’t hold you forever.” 

Realization suddenly dawned on her and as she felt Velonara gathering her strength to pull she swung herself up and grabbed hold of the branch until she could finally swing a leg back over it. Her ears were wilted and she was panting softly as her scalp prickled with nerves still fragile from her near-fall and Velonara scooted closer to her on the branch to lift her chin. “Stop.” She murmured quietly. “Stop doing this to yourself. What if that hadn’t been me?” 

“I was just resting my eyes.” Sylvanas whispered in response - though she refused to lift her gaze to meet Velonara’s. 

“I’m staying with you until your watch is over.” 

That got her attention. And quickly. “You can’t do that. You’re going to get the dressing down of the century. We take turns. That’s just how it goes.”

“That isn’t how it goes tonight. How it goes tonight is - you sleep while I make sure a lynx doesn’t eat you and you don’t fall to your death, or both.” 

Sylvanas still seemed reluctant. So infuriatingly reluctant to share even a portion of her burden. And with her, of all people. But she seemed just as reluctant to pull her away or to outright send her back to camp. 

“Come on.” Velonara murmured - leaning in slowly and kissing the fullness of her lower lip. She began to move backwards gradually, shifting herself up onto her feet with her knees bent for balance and holding a hand out to the young woman that had once been her childhood friend. Who was still her best friend. Her best friend and so much infinitely more. She was careful not to pull to hard once her offered hand was taken, though she wasn’t sure why. Sylvanas had the best footing of any of them and she walked along the branch in the darkness like it was nothing less than a cobbled pathway illuminated perfectly by magelight. They slid into the bowl together - the soft scrape of leather against rain-smoothed wood the only sound they made on their way down. 

“Will you sit with me?” Velonara asked softly. Sylvanas nodded softly and moved towards her. But there was still reluctance. Reluctance to shirk her duties. To rest when she should have been watching. Especially if Velonara was going to have to compensate for her. 

“We don’t have to sleep if you don’t want to.” She offered carefully - not entirely sure what she meant. Just that...she meant it.

Velonara had a feeling that once they were comfortable - that’s exactly what Sylvanas was going to do. But as she nestled into the curve of the bowl of the tree and Sylvanas leaned back against her and she brushed a kiss against the side of her neck she realized she might have been wrong in her assumption. There was something about the slight tilt of her head that told her otherwise. “What is it?” Velonara asked quietly, lifting a hand to gradually pull Sylvanas’s cloak away from her head so she could see more of her. 

“Nothing.” Came a hurried, whispered response, though Velonara’s eyes darted down in time to catch Sylvanas drawing one of her legs up as she adjusted her seat slightly. Almost like she was nervous. 

She _was_ nervous. She was nervous about all of this. She was nervous to ask her not to stop - nervous about how deeply she’d felt such a light touch of lips to skin. In fact, she’d been on edge for weeks, now. Ever since their afternoon at the stream. Velonara couldn’t even lay too close to her at night without her body reacting in a way she couldn’t seem to control. And so, she would just lay there. Uncomfortably. All night. And she would wake in the morning still uncomfortable. Often flushed and flustered if Velonara was as tangled with her as she usually was. 

And now after all this time, they were finally alone. The last thing on her mind was sleep. 

 

“Are you going to rest?” Velonara’s voice was a gentle murmur next to her ear and Sylvanas found herself swallowing thickly. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to. But it’s fine.” 

Velonara had never really heard the tone she was using. She sounded so stifled. So closed off. And it had Velonara second guessing everything in that moment. 

“Would you rather I leave? Am I too close?” She asked with a shadow of doubt edging its way into her voice. “Sylvanas...I...I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That has never been my intention. But I just thought…” 

She cleared her throat and as she moved she found herself suddenly pushed back again - Sylvanas’s strong shoulders pinning her into the side of their haven. It was one of the first times she’d felt her strength, herself. But she also felt a faint tremor wrack her body. She’d been just about to press her for an answer, again when Sylvanas finally spoke. “Can...I...I don’t know how to ask. I don’t know what to say.” 

Velonara’s expression relaxed somewhat as she found one of Sylvanas’s hands with her own and twined their fingers together. “You can show me, you know.” She murmured gently, slowly releasing her hand and resting her own atop her thigh, just barely trailing her thumb along the inner seam of her leggings. “You can show me where you want me to touch you if you can’t tell me right now.” 

Those words fell over Sylvanas and brought with them more relief than she’d ever felt. Then Velonara wanted this, too. Maybe, judging by the way her fingertips dug into her thigh slightly through the doeskin of her pants, it was possible that she might even want it as badly as she did. That she just needed to know it was okay.   
“There...there isn’t just one place I want you to touch me.” Sylvanas responded as a blush blazed its way across her features and along her ears. “And I don’t just want you to touch me. I really, really want to touch you, too. And I can’t even...I can’t even sleep, sometimes. I feel like I’ll burn up if I spend another second pressed against you, yet moving to the other side of the tent feels like it would kill me. I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t even know if it’s okay for me to be thinking these things so often but I’ve tried and I can’t help it. It’s like...it’s like I can’t even hold your hand, anymore, without this feeling.” 

“That’s how you talk about it.” Velonara murmured against her shoulder as she slid her arms around her middle to hug her back into herself. “That was a wonderful start. Can I ask you a question?” 

Sylvanas’s frazzled nerves were eased by Velonara’s careful reassurances and she slowly relaxed against her again, though Velonara could feel how warm her skin was when her ear rested against the side of her neck. She waited for the faint nod that eventually came in response and stroked along her stomach for a moment before once again reaching for one of her hands as she kissed behind her ear - drawing a sudden gasp from her. “When you feel this way when I’m not there do you ever take care of yourself?” 

“Yes.” The answer came without hesitation and it had a rasp to it that Velonara had never heard before. If she hadn’t already been about to shake out of her clothing she certainly was now. 

“Show me how you do that.” 

Sylvanas’s thoughts were racing so quickly she couldn’t even hope to catch up to them as Velonara traced the lines of her hand with her fingertips and pressed feather-light kisses to the corner of her jaw. She was suddenly hyper-aware of their surroundings. She could hear - in fine detail - the chirping of the cicadas in the canopies with them. Even the rustling in the groundcover far below. 

She found the unlacing of her leggins difficult, suddenly, and the fact that her eyes were shut didn’t help matters. But Velonara just kept stroking along her wrists and her arms as she cradled her in blessed, patient warmth. Velonara’s hand followed hers as she slipped it between her own legs - each fingertip resting ever so lightly against her knuckles. 

“Don’t worry. Please. I just want to know what you like. I promise it doesn’t matter what that is.” 

Her arm tightened around the slightly smaller woman as she felt her shoulders rise sharply against her chest when she first touched herself in slow, almost teasing circles.

Sylvanas couldn’t remember having been this wet any time she’d been alone. Nor could she remember being this sensitive. Her motions were hesitant at first. And Valonara guessed that they were and began running her free hand slowly along her inner thigh - causing Sylvanas to spread it for more of the attention as she reached for Velonara’s knee and grabbed onto it firmly, eventually dragging the cloth already stretched across it into her fist as her breath caught in her throat. 

Velonara’s breathing was quicker, now, and more labored even than Sylvanas’s as the other recruit’s head fell back against her shoulder. She took the opportunity to turn her own and kiss her - and instead of their usual slow, shallow kisses - Sylvanas seemed like she was starving for the contact. She pushed into the kiss as her rubbing became more purposeful and Velonara moved her hand out of the way, kneading both her thighs through her leggings as Sylvanas’s tongue explored her mouth and their teeth met now and then in a way that might have been jarring were they not so consumed by each other. 

Until Sylvanas’s head rolled slightly and and her eyes snapped open and then shut more tightly than before - her slightly swollen lips parted as her rasping breaths turned into whimpers just before they left her. Every time. A dozen soft, quiet, unhinged noises and Velonara kissing her cheek and her neck and anywhere at all that she could reach. 

“Don’t stop.” She whispered breathlessly - hazarding a glance at the sight of Sylvanas’s forearm flexing with her efforts when the wet sounds that Sylvanas was too far gone to be embarrassed by became something she could no longer avoid. She slid her hands lower so they were nearly touching between her legs and she eventually trailed her fingertips up the center seam of her pants, pressing firmly below where her hand was still moving. She was surprised when Sylvanas’s hips rolled softly in response and at the whimper that came louder than the others. 

But she couldn’t for the life of her understand why she hadn’t listened as her hand stilled to a halt when she’d felt so certain she was close. 

“Vel…” 

She tore her eyes away and settled them on Sylvanas’s face and their eyes met for the first time. She hadn’t ever seen Sylvanas so flushed or so out of it but when she felt slick fingers on top of her own, pulling gently, she understood. For the first time - she stroked down through soft, fine curls of hair with Sylvanas’s hand wrapped around her wrist as her stomach nearly danced with frantic breaths beneath her arm. 

She was so soft. Like silk against her fingers. Like velvet. And hotter than anything she’d ever felt. She slid her fingertips past her clit and carefully traced around her as she nuzzled into the side of her face and their breaths began to match in their heavy desperation. “Is this okay?” She asked quietly. “Is this what you want?” 

Sylvanas’s response came with a tug on her wrist and a trembling hand sliding into her own pants to cover Velonara’s and press against the finger that was teasing at her. 

And then her breathing stopped. Caught in her throat as Velonara slowly pressed into her with all the care in the world despite how difficult she found it to control her movements right then. But control them she did. In long, even movements within the tightness surrounding the length of her finger as Sylvanas clutched at her arm and dug her heels into the bed of leaves in the center of the tree- pushing back against her with such force it might have stopped her from moving were she not so intent on continuing. If she had the words she might have soothed her. If she had the voice she might have encouraged her. 

She had neither. Not when that first moan met her ears. It was low and velvety and more than she had ever imagined. And she’d imagined it plenty. 

Sylvanas didn’t know which way was up. Her thighs were trembling and tensing against the gentle stretching sensation. The full feeling that came every time she thought it would never return. The heat that had coiled in the pit of her stomach became an ember. A glowering warmth that slowly spread to her limbs bringing tremors and jerks along with it. Until it was a blaze. Until she arched away from Velonara and pressed against the heel of her palm and her feet slid through the leaves and the moss and the only thing that caught her was Velonara shifting beneath her - pulling her down to lay against her as her finger withdrew and her hand stayed pressed over her. 

Her grip on Velonara’s arm was vice-like. Her nails bit into her skin and left welting crescents in their wake as she drew her knees back up and bucked once more. 

“Breathe.” 

Velonara’s voice was far away. Somewhere beyond the overwhelming sensation wracking her body unlike anything she’d ever experienced. 

“Breathe, Syl. I’ve got you.” 

She gasped. And the world came rushing back to her in a flash of shadow and starlight filtering through golden leaves and quick, breathless pants against her hair. 

“I’m sorry.” She gasped quickly, scrambling to relieve Velonara of her weight as she turned around to face her. Oh, she struggled. Every movement was nearly impossible to coordinate and she wound up laying against her again - only the right way this time - and their mouths crashed together amidst Velonara’s dismissal of her apology. 

Velonara had always been less restrained than her. Always a little wilder. Freer. And that remained true, now. When Sylvanas reached for her belt she was already scrambling to unbuckle it between them and her earnestness brought with it Sylvanas’s desperate need to please her in return. Not that it wasn’t already there. Just that it was now all-consuming. 

Velonara was somehow, if physical evidence were to be taken into account, even more aroused than she was. And her fingertips slipped around for a moment in the darkness as a result before she looked down to better see what she was doing. She needn’t have. The moment she got where she needed to be Velonara went stock-still beneath her. “There. There, Syl. Please. I can’t...gods, I can’t wait any longer… _please_.” 

Sylvanas had no intention, now, of making her wait. And Velonara had no intention of holding back. She came quickly and almost violently - lifting her legs on either side of Sylvanas’s slender hips and crossing them at the ankle behind her as her hands shot up to grasp handfuls of the other woman’s hair. “Can...can I...again…” Her fingers had slowed but not stopped as Velonara tried her best to drag the hair from her eyes so she could see her when she nodded at her. 

A soft chorus of ‘yes’s met Sylvanas’s lips and were lost in their breathy, wet kiss as she redoubled her efforts - easing off when Velonara hissed against her mouth and jerked her hips until she found a way to touch her that had her relaxing beneath her instead of tensing. 

By the time she came again they were covered in more leaves than clothing and even the thinnest sheet of parchment couldn’t have fit between them. They were on their sides - Sylvanas between Velonara’s legs with her head pressed to her chest so she could hear the way her heart hammered against it and their arms around each other so tightly neither of them could seem to drag a full enough breath into their lungs. 

“I told you…” Velonara finally managed to whisper as she grasped Sylvanas’s ear gently in her palm before releasing it. “I told you you were going to be perfect.” 

Sylvanas murmured against her chest as she nuzzled deeper into it. “So were you.”

Eventually, though, their grasp on things that were necessary like breathing returned to a more functional level and Velonara began gently picking leaves from Sylvanas’s hair - leaving it gleaming once again how it always did in the light of the moon. 

Sylvanas had read those books a hundred times. Studied them like she had her languages. Studied them all the more intently the stronger her feelings for Velonara had grown. Only to discover this was nothing like a book. This wasn’t a verb to conjugate or a strange puzzle of grammar to translate into something more easy to understand. 

It was more like a poem. And the soft lines of Velonara’s stomach shifting beneath her fingertips as she traced them beneath her shirt were the unwritten words between the verses. Her smile spreading into their kisses to be felt but not seen was like a clever, well-hidden double entendre that might not hit you right away but was all the sweeter for it when it did. 

All the books and tutoring and training in the world couldn’t have prepared her for this type of exhaustion. The type of exhaustion that was cushioned by satiation and the utter adoration that Velonara poured into her with her lips and her fingertips and her barely audible whispers of love. 

Yes. This was more like a poem. 

One they were writing together.

"Trees"  
The Oh Hellos

Climbing trees like we did when we were children  
Scaling walls; the walls that took us years to build

Climbing trees; haven't much since we were children  
Shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken  
Safe inside the walls we built, we found ourselves a home

Higher branches, harder fall  
Hesitation stops us all

Oh, you'll never know

Climbing trees; haven't much since we were children  
Shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken  
But heartache pales in comparison to love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Redisaid for this hecking perfect song suggestion?


	12. The Times They Are A-Changin'

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Sylvanas positively beamed as she leaned down to catch the two children running towards her. She swung them around as they laughed and clutched at her armor - all while Lireesa watched from the kitchen and Velonara smiled softly from the doorway.

“How are my little monsters? Have you been good for Mom and Dad?” She asked as she stopped spinning and hugged them both close. “Huh, Little Moon? And you, my little music box?” She looked at Vereesa and Lirath in turn as she knelt to place them on the floor to truly see them, instead of the blurs they’d been as they’d run for her. 

“We’ve been good!” Lirath reassured her with a grin, still holding onto one of his sister’s pauldrons lightly. Green. Not the blue of a true Ranger. Not quite yet. Though she certainly looked the part. Everything about her screamed easy, irreproachable authority. The kind you didn’t have to work for. The kind you were born with. 

They had all grown, really. Not just the two new additions. Velonara - tall, sturdy, and lean. And Sylvanas…

Velonara’s eyes held only warmth and pride for her young lover as she watched the woman interact with her siblings. No elf was more beautiful than her. She would bet her life on that. She’d stayed small...but she’d gotten so strong. Velonara knew the curve of every muscle that lay beneath that armor intimately. No, Sylvanas was no longer the gangly teen she had been. She was all fierceness, fire, passion, and strength. 

Vereesa held up a hand in protest, suddenly. “Actually, Lirath hasn’t been really good. Yesterday, during dinner-“

Sylvanas cast a conspiratorial glance at her mother from over their heads and then turned her attention back to Vereesa. “Now, Little Moon.” She said - a touch of quiet reproach in her voice. “Before you tell, you must remember to ask yourself some very important things. Did your brother hurt you purposefully? Did he do something that an apology couldn’t fix?” 

Vereesa looked disgruntled as she thought those questions over in her mind and then shook her head rather sheepishly. “Good. Always remember how important the two of you are to each other. How important our family is. Talk. Talking is the most useful tool. If someone upsets you - tell them why they were wrong for having done so. That is the quickest way to the root of the problem. It forces you both to think. To take a breath. To resolve whatever ill has come between you.” 

To soothe the slight sting her lecture might have caused, she pulled them both against her chest and kissed the tops of their heads. “Run along upstairs, then. It smells like Father has something delicious cooking in there. There’ll be no eating with dirty hands on my account.” 

They both darted off at her request - as eager to please her as they always were, and she stood - finally removing her heavy pack from her shoulder and handing it over to her father as both her parents approached. 

“Velonara, Sylvanas.” Lireesa greeted - the warmth in her voice matching the warmth in her smile as she held out her arms for both of them and hugged them close. “It’s so good to have you home.” 

Lireesa pulled back and let Aravath get a hug of his own before she looked Sylvanas over more carefully. “Why don’t the two of you go upstairs? Take a nice bath - I know you haven’t had one in a while.”

“Three weeks.” Sylvanas agreed quietly. “And there’ve been plenty of sprains and bruises in between then and now.”

“I’ll bring your dinner upstairs. The children can wait until tomorrow for your vainglorious tales.” Lireesa reached for Velonara’s bag, then, and shouldered it easily. 

“Are you certain they won’t perish?” Sylvanas asked - sounding genuinely worried despite the smile on her face that said otherwise. 

Lireesa chuckled low in her throat and she and Aravath led the way for the room Sylvanas so often shared with Velonara, now, on their leaves from training. Once their bags were deposited inside, Sylvanas moved rather stiffly to the edge of the bed - all her swagger melting away from her weary body. 

“I don’t know why you still push yourself the way you do, after all these years.” Velonara murmured quietly as she approached her, leaning over her back to begin unbuckling the light leather armor she wore until most of it was discarded on the bed and she felt the other woman’s arms wrap around her back. 

“It’ll get easier.” Sylvanas murmured against her stomach before heaving a sigh that sent the hair that had been hanging in her face flying upward. 

“You’ve been saying that for as long as you’ve been doing it.” Velonara responded - her tone both chiding and gentle. “Since we were kids.” 

“I haven’t been a kid in a long time, Vel.” Sylvanas looked up at her, then, and Velonara cradled her face in her hands as her brow furrowed. No one knew that better than her. No one had seen childhood slip from Sylvanas Windrunner’s shoulders more closely than Velonara...only to replaced by immeasurable burden. Most of it self inflicted. Oh, she knew. All too well. 

“Do you want to take a bath or just rest?” Velonara asked as she stroked through Sylvanas’s hair once she lowered the hood of her cloak. “You deserve either. Both, preferably, if I’m sleeping with you tonight.” 

Sylvanas smiled, then, and Velonara brushed the quirked corner of her lips with her thumb. 

“Are you saying I smell?” Sylvanas asked as she leaned back onto her elbows on the bed and looked up at Velonara - a bit of mischief glinting in her tired eyes. 

Velonara leaned over her slowly and kissed her chin before resting her full weight on her - letting out a sigh of her own as she did so. “Like sunlight and meadows, Sylvanas. Always.” 

“Ah, the sweetest lies.” Sylvanas whispered as she wrapped her arms around Velonara easily as her eyes slipped shut. Just for a moment. Just…

“My darling girl.” 

Sylvanas’s eyes snapped open and, for a moment, she had no idea where she was. She knew Velonara was pressed against her side. She knew it was dark. And then she turned her head and saw her mother leaning over her and it all came back to her. They were home. They were resting. 

“I’ve drawn the two of you a bath. Your dinner is on your end table. Go to sleep after you’ve eaten. Both of you.” 

Velonara murmured her agreement but only pressed closer to Sylvanas, who groaned quietly and helped them both up. “C’mon. Mom made a bath.” Her voice was slightly raspy and muddled, buy Velonara murmured her agreement and Lireesa watched them help one another towards the bathing room with a soft smile on her face. 

“Were they sleeping?” 

Lireesa turned to look at Aravath with a quiet chuckle, making her way towards him and shutting the door behind them once they made it to the hallway. “They’ll be sleeping again, soon. I’m exhausted, myself.” Lireesa responded as the headed for their own bedroom. 

“You’ll tell her tomorrow, then?” Aravath asked as he helped her out of her robe and placed it on the chair next to their bed. 

“I’ll tell them both, yes. Perhaps a good rest will work out some of these nerves.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sorry.” Sylvanas whispered as she lifted her head back up from where it had fallen against Velonara’s chest.

Velonara shook her head and kissed her temple gently as she just continued removing her clothing for her. By the time Sylvanas was sitting on the edge of the tub - she was at least awake enough to help Velonara with hers. That was fortunate - she wasn’t that much better off than Sylvanas was. Little more than concern was driving her forward at this point. 

They steadied one-another as they lowered themselves into the tub. It took both their remaining energy to get each other washed after many fumbled attempts and near-nods. Finally, though, Sylvanas lay back against Velonara - her head against her shoulder and Velonara’s lips against her cheek, trailing upwards towards her ear. “You’re so sleepy.” Velonara whispered against it, stroking along her arms and smiling at the faint murmur she got in response. 

“You need to eat. We both do. C’mon.” Velonara urged as she pushed herself up - surprised as Sylvanas seemed to suddenly become just a touch more alert in response to the promise of food. They each dried off quickly and made their way back into the bedroom and Velonara was the first to lift the cloth covering the plate Lireesa had left for them. She smiled softly as she felt Sylvanas’s presence near her back before she found herself wrapped in a blanket. 

“Look.” Velonara whispered as she lifted the plate and turned to look at Sylvanas - whose eyes seemed unwilling to leave her, despite the dish of treasures she was holding. Delicately crusted meat pies - one for each of them, which had always been Sylvanas’s favorite, and a few crystalized berries - gliting gently in the candlelight Lireesa had left burning for them. 

“Mhm.” Sylvanas murmured, though she still hadn’t looked at the food. Instead, she tilted her head and pressed their lips together with such delicate care Velonara had a difficult time opening her eyes once she pulled back. 

“What was that for?” She asked as Sylvanas finally took the plate from her and moved to sit on the bed - leaning over it to find a blanket to wrap around herself, as well, as Velonara moved to get situated next to her. 

“I just love you. Nothing special. My parents don’t make these, you know. I wonder what the special occasion is.”

“That’s very special, actually. And I love you, as well. But you know that.” Velonara leaned in for the bite Sylvanas offered her and murmured her appreciation before she began feeding herself. There was scarcely a crumb left on the plate once they’d finished. 

Velonara moved to place the plate on the end table and felt a gentle tug on her arm once she had - a tug she responded to by laying backwards, suddenly, with her head on Sylvanas’s stomach.  
“Gonna sleep like that?” Sylvanas asked as she looked down at her from where her head was propped on the pillows. 

“I imagine not. How would you prefer I slept?” Velonara reached up, then, and drew soft, invisible lines along Sylvanas’s neck as she awaited her answer. 

“I never gave it much thought. I suppose I like holding you. Quite a lot, actually.” 

Sylvanas’s eyes followed Velonara as she shifted to lay on her side and pressed back against her until Sylvanas was chuckling quietly and turning so she could wrap an arm around her. 

“I’m glad we have a break. I’m glad I get to spend it with you.” Sylvanas whispered as she nuzzled into Velonara’s freshly washed hair - unbothered by the dampness of it. She just liked the smell. The comfort of it. 

She didn’t even hear Velonara’s response before she was drifted off. In fact, she didn’t hear anything at all until the sound of rustling sheets and the feeling of sunlight on her face woke her. 

“Good morning, sleepy.” Velonara murmured as she leaned over her and pressed a kiss to Sylvanas’s face. 

“Mm...you’re already dressed. Why’d you let me sleep so long?” Sylvanas asked as she stretched and rolled over onto her back with a heavy sigh. 

“You needed it. I only woke you up because your mother is downstairs waiting for us.” 

Sylvanas’s eyes opened, then. “Waiting for us, why?” She asked as she pushed herself up and noticed the clothing Velonara had already laid out for her. 

“I’m not sure, Syl. Get dressed - I don’t think you’re dressed appropriately for a talk right now. Hopefully it isn’t about sex. She’s about ten years too late for that.” 

“It’s definitely not about sex. She’s covered that.” 

They both laughed despite the strange feeling that had suddenly settled over them both. No, it certainly wasn’t about that. But...what was it about, then? 

Velonara could sense Sylvanas’s edge of uneasiness as they descended the stairs and she stroked down her back before they rounded the curve at the bottom of the stairwell that led into the living space. 

Aravath was nowhere to be seen - and Sylvanas looked around in confusion. The kids were gone, too. 

“Your father took them for a walk. Come. Sit. Both of you.” Lireesa was standing by the sofa - dressed all in dark leathers with her hair pulled back. A slightly less casual look than she might normally have worn around the house. A look that didn’t help Sylvanas’s mood in the slightest. 

They both obeyed. It hadn’t really been a request. 

Lireesa smiled softly as she sat on the table in front of the couch and looked at both of them - not missing the way Velonara reached for her daughter’s hand - and certainly not missing how it seemed to comfort her. 

“Look at the two of you.” Lireesa began, clasping her hands between her knees as she rested her arms against her legs and leaned forward slightly. “You’ve done so well. Both of you.”

“Thank you, Ranger-General.” Velonara responded softly, glancing over at Sylvanas and the way her brow furrowed slightly. 

“Mother...what’s happened?” Sylvanas asked quietly - trying to keep her voice as steady as she could. Velonara gave her hand a gentle squeeze and moved closer to her. 

“Ten years ago today, you both started out on a path that would one day lead you to serve your people selflessly and without hesitation. You never looked back. And I’ve never...ever...been more proud.” Lireesa reached out, then, and cradled Sylvanas’s cheek as the skin there darkened faintly under the rising flush threatening to spread, now, to her ears. 

“You aren’t on leave from training.” She continued as she lowered her hand and looked, then, to Velonara - who was gazing back at her intently. “Your training is over. In two weeks’ time I will call you to take up the mantle of Ranger and all the responsibilities that come with it. You will answer this call at the Enclave. When next you leave the Enclave - it will be as members of Silvermoon’s farthest reaching...and most dangerous hand. From that moment on, our people and their well-being will be of unrivalled importance to you. This...is your last chance to decide you would prefer to tread another path.” Lireesa’s voice was, then, might have been more at home in a war room than a living room. But this was no less important to her. No less crucial. 

“I will never change my mind.” Sylvanas responded - her voice quiet, yet steely in its resolve. 

“Nor will I, Ranger-General.” Velonara echoed, though her hand trembled faintly in Sylvanas’s - who only held onto her that much tighter. 

“Very well.” Lireesa stood, then, and pulled them both to their feet with a suddenness neither had expected. Pulled them into a hug so tight they weren’t sure they would survive it. When she finally pulled back - there was no small amount of pride in her icy eyes. No small amount of love. “Promise me you will enjoy the next to weeks to their fullest. Promise me you will enjoy each other.” 

Sylvanas looked from her mother to Velonara and back again. “We will. I promise.” 

Velonara nodded in turn and Lireesa sighed quietly before she nodded and made her way towards the kitchen. “Elenia made sure I left Silvermoon with plenty of those pies you like. There are more warming in the stove for your lunch. After that - you’ll be free from my doting. You are grown women, after all.” 

As talented as Lireesa was at masking her emotion, Sylvanas was too perceptive to miss the slight catch in her mother’s voice. She wandered into the kitchen almost forlornly to where her mother was leaning against the counter and watched her wipe the tears that had begun to streak her cheeks hurriedly and replace them with a smile. “Don’t fret over me, Sylvanas.” She whispered as she reached out and picked a piece of fletching feather from her daughter’s shirt. “Let me fret over you, instead. Just once or twice more.” 

Velonara watched them together - her expression soft and subdued as Sylvanas nodded and gave her mother another softer, lingering hug. 

Two weeks. 

A decade made two weeks sound so painfully close. A lifetime of service made it sound even closer. 

But the look in Sylvanas’s eyes when she finally let go of her mother and looked over at her - that beckoning, searching look in the soft, glowing blue-grey of them...she would let that matter most for now. 

Two weeks. 

Not a terribly long time. But long enough for Velonara to re-remember a hundred, hundred things about Sylvanas that she hadn’t even come close to forgetting. 

That she never would. 

The curve of her smile when she woke her by kissing her. A smile that came before her eyes even opened. 

How wild her hair could be when it was still dripping with salt water from the waves behind the spires. How that salt tasted on her skin. 

How much they loved one another...and how much they always would.  
“Hungry?” Sylvanas asked her as Lireesa patted her shoulder on her way past and headed for the stairs. 

Velonara smiled and nodded as she walked into the kitchen. Before she made to reach for door of the oven, however, she pulled Sylvanas into a sudden rough, quick kiss and then leaned back, still holding the sides of her shocked face firmly in her hands. 

“Have I ever told you how the way you look at me makes me feel?” Velonara asked as Sylvanas’s expression softened and she reached out to stroke across the other woman’s chest. 

“Tell me again.”

 

"The Times They Are A-Changin'"  
Bob Dylan (Cover by Tracy Chapman)

Come gather 'round people  
Wherever you roam  
And admit that the waters  
Around you have grown  
And accept it that soon  
You'll be drenched to the bone  
If your time to you  
Is worth savin'  
Then you better start swimmin'  
Or you'll sink like a stone  
For the times they are a-changin'

Come writers and critics  
Who prophesize with your pen  
And keep your eyes wide  
The chance won't come again  
And don't speak too soon  
For the wheel's still in spin  
And there's no tellin' who  
That it's namin'  
For the loser now  
Will be later to win  
For the times they are a-changin'

Come senators, congressmen  
Please heed the call  
Don't stand in the doorway  
Don't block up the hall  
For he that gets hurt  
Will be he who has stalled  
There's a battle outside  
And it is ragin'  
It'll soon shake your windows  
And rattle your walls  
For the times they are a-changin'

Come mothers and fathers  
Throughout the land  
And don't criticize  
What you can't understand  
Your sons and your daughters  
Are beyond your command  
Your old road is  
Rapidly agin'  
Please get out of the new one  
If you can't lend your hand  
For the times they are a-changin'

The line it is drawn  
The curse it is cast  
The slow one now  
Will later be fast  
As the present now  
Will later be past  
The order is  
Rapidly fadin'  
And the first one now  
Will later be last  
For the times they are a-changin'

 


	13. I Will Remain

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“There you go.” Sylvanas grinned as she positioned Vereesa’s elbow in a way that allowed her more control over the little bow she’d been shooting all morning. “Now. Always push towards your target. Draw to your eye, don’t lean into it. Relax your right arm.”

Vereesa groaned as she released the tension on her bow and turned the frustration in her expression towards her sister’s sympathetic gaze. “What is it, Little Moon?”

“How am I supposed to relax my right arm?” She demanded. “When that’s the arm doing all the pulling?” 

“Stop pulling so much and start pushing. The most important thing your right arm is doing is pulling that nock to your eye. Once you get that down, nothing else is going to matter. You’ll be able to shoot from any position, even running. Even jumping. Let your right hand and your right arm be comfortable. Relaxed. Your left strong and steady. That’s what’s holding the tip of your arrow where it needs to be.” 

Vereesa mulled those words over and then sighed, turning back to the target they’d set up on the edge of the courtyard and lifting her bow again. This time - she pushed. She did her best to let her right arm stay loose as the wood and sinew creaked when she drew it. Sylvanas knew it was a good shot before Vereesa even loosed it, yet she still looked across the courtyard with pride when she both heard and watched the arrow bury itself damn near in the dead center of the target. 

“You see?” Sylvanas asked as Vereesa’s mouth fell open at her own shot. She’d never even come close to a bullseye. She’d rarely even managed to hit a target at this distance. 

“Oh.” Vereesa responded simply, though, gradually, she allowed her happiness at this sudden understanding to show itself in her expression. 

“Sylvanas Windrunner!”

Sylvanas’s ears flattened at the tone of her mother’s voice from the direction of the spires and her gaze shot in the direction her name had come from. 

“Don’t look at me like that! We were supposed to ride out ten minutes ago! You’re going to be late to your own induction ceremony!” A pause as Sylvanas looked down at Vereesa and winked before ruffling her hair, drawing a giggle from the young girl. 

“I saw that!” 

“Uh oh.” Sylvanas responded quietly, turning a feigned look of worry in Vereesa’s direction. 

“Mama sees too good. It isn’t fair.” Vereesa grumbled as Sylvanas chuckled. 

“No. It’s very not fair. Later, alright, Little Moon? We’ll shoot more later.” 

Vereesa nodded and Sylvanas began jogging across the courtyard toward her mother who, for once, was wearing the blue and gold of a Ranger-General of Silvermoon. Ornate, wildly out of place armor - at least on Lireesa Windrunner. Still, though, it gave Sylvanas pause.

“Apologies, Ranger-General.” She sounded too mollified for Lireesa’s liking, and she smiled softly at her daughter in response. 

“By the Sun, look at you.” Lireesa murmured as she reached out to lift Sylvanas’s hood up over her ears, carefully threading the tips through until it was settled - with no small amount of platinum waves of hair spilling free. 

Then, Lireesa checked the straps of the slightly heavier pauldrons Sylvanas still wasn’t used to, only to find them perfectly positioned. “Blue suits you so well. Come. Let’s go.” 

Aravath, having been waiting for an appropriate moment, walked forward with the reigns of both their horses in his hands. “I wish you would just let me make you a portal, Lireesa. It’s a hard ride.” 

“You would have two Rangers portal to the Enclave, forgoing a ride across the very country one of them is soon to begin serving?” She admonished, though a smile played at her lips. 

“You’re right, of course.” He responded as Lireesa leaned in to kiss his cheek before swinging herself up into her saddle. 

“Your mother is right, Sylvanas.” He continued as his daughter seated herself as her mother had then looked down at him when he placed a hand on her knee. “You look positively resplendent.” 

“Thank you, Father.” Sylvanas clasped her hand over his for a moment, offering him an encouraging smile. She wasn’t ignorant to how he worried. She never had been, really, but she knew he only loved her. 

Reluctantly, he removed his hand and took a few steps back - waving them off and watching as they rode away from the spires. “I haven’t heard from Velonara, today.” Sylvanas finally said after they passed the fork in the road that led to Windrunner Village. 

“She’ll be waiting for us on the road near Tranquillien. I thought you might enjoy her company if she rode with us, and sent word to her mother.” Lireesa smiled as she caught the little grin that Sylvanas failed to hide behind her hair. 

“Her mother will already be at the Enclave with the rest of the officers.” Lireesa shifted in her saddle and sighed as she found a seat that was more comfortable. 

“Perhaps you should have let Father portal you and I could have ridden in with Velonara.” Sylvanas joked with a grin she turned, this time, for her mother to see. 

 

“Imp. I will ride like the General I am, thank you very much. You’ll have plenty of nights alone with that girl of yours. No need to push me away for just one more.”

“Mm, perhaps. Will Lor’themar be there?” 

“You certainly have taken a liking to him. Not that I can blame you. He’s a charming young man. Yes, of course, he will be. I’m sure he wouldn’t miss it - even if he weren’t required to be there.” 

“I keep forgetting he’s a Captain now.” Sylvanas murmured as she looked around at their surroundings and found her fraying nerves soothed by them. 

“He’s a promising Ranger. Like you. Like Velonara. A good friend, too. I’m sure he’ll be the same to you.” 

“Do you think so?” Sylvanas asked, sounding almost youthfully hopeful as Lireesa offered her a reassuring smile. 

“You underestimate yourself, my Daughter. Everything changes, now. The wall that has divided you and the Rangers will be well and truly gone. You’ll have more friends than you know what to do with.You’re beautiful, terrifyingly intelligent, and everyone knows you already out-skill most of us.” 

“Mother, please.” Sylvanas’s ears had wilted and she looked positively crumpled in a way that made Lireesa chuckle. 

“I give it a year. Maybe two - before you are insufferable. I see it already sometimes. The way you carry yourself and things of that nature. Especially when you are with your fellow trainees...and, soon, your Rangers.”

Sylvanas rode in silence for a while, taking her mother’s words into consideration. It was a comfortable silence, though. One neither of them minded. It was broken, though, by a shout in the distance. A familiar shout. Velonara. 

Unable to contain herself, Sylvanas urged her horse into a gallop and nearly leaped from her saddle as Velonara dropped to the ground and caught her in her arms. 

Well. Now was as good a time to break as any. Or so Lireesa thought to herself as she pulled her horse off the road and slid from her saddle to stretch her legs and allow them a moment of privacy. 

“I missed you.” Velonara murmured as she brushed the tip of her nose against Sylvanas’s and stroked across her chest and around her back beneath her cloak. 

“And I, you.” Sylvanas responded just as softly. “You look beautiful, Vel.”

“Me?” Velonara answered with a faint quirk of her lips as she leaned back and looked the other woman over. “You must not have seen yourself.” 

Again, they embraced. Tightly, as though there were nothing else that mattered in the world. Perhaps, in that moment, it was what they both needed. “Are you nervous?” Sylvanas asked quietly as she stroked along Velonara’s back where it was bare above her armor beneath her cloak between her cuirass and her pauldrons. 

“Extremely. Less now, though. With you.” Velonara finally parted from Sylvanas after grazing a quick kiss to her lips. 

“Good. I feel the same way. I’m glad you’re here.” Still, their fingertips touched just barely, so unwilling were they to give up this comfort. 

“We should press on.” Lireesa called out as she mounted her horse again on the other side of the road. “We’ll overnight at the Enclave after the ceremony. Plenty of time for canoodling, then.” 

“Mother!” Sylvanas turned towards Lireesa with a glare on her face and Lireesa only winked at her as she rode past them so that they had to scramble to catch up. 

They rode behind the General, now. They rode close enough to each other that their legs pressed together more often than not - which was good. Very good, as they got closer and closer to their destination and the sounds of far-off lynx and the birds that had been flitting along in the trees here and there changed to the sound of talking. 

Sylvanas somehow managed to avoid breaking out in a cold sweat as the Enclave finally came into view - lit, now, in the falling sun by lanterns hung along the path. Lanterns of fire instead of mage light. The inside of the Enclave seemed to almost glow in the distance. Also the glow of fire. A much larger one in the very center of it, as they would come to see as they rounded the path into the clearing surrounding it. Lireesa rode ahead, allowing one of the rangers in attendance to take her mount from her as both Velonara and Sylvanas were approached similarly. They each dismounted in somewhat of a daze, followed by a quick clasp of their shoulders by the ranger that would lead the animals away. 

They approached the ornate, open-air building slowly, though they held their heads high. 

“Sylvanas!” Lor’themar was beaming as they stepped into the main room of the Enclave together, warmed and comfortable by the bonfire blazing away in the center of it. 

She grasped Velonara’s hand for a moment as he approached before she reached for Lor’themar and clasped his forearm in her hand, instead. 

“How was your vacation?” He asked warmly, looking from Sylvanas to Velonara with a smile still plastered on his face. “Did you get a lot of sleeping in? You’ll be rather busy for a while, now, so I hope so.” 

“We did. We did quite a bit of that.” Sylvanas responded, an easy smile now gracing her own expression, in turn. 

“Mmh, speak for yourself.” Velonara grumbled with a wink in Sylvanas’s direction. “You, who snores like a bear and is still up with the crack of dawn.” 

Sylvanas gasped as Lor’themar laughed heartily. “Is it true, Sylvanas? A bear?” 

“No.” Velonara answered for her as she rested a hand on the other woman’s back. “But I do love that look she gets when I give her a hard time.” 

They chatted for a while longer before their attention was drawn, suddenly, by the booming of a voice that could only belong to Lireesa. 

“Thank you all for gathering here on this day. Your presence is valued and the warmth you have all brought with you one unrivalled by any other group of people. Of this I am certain.” 

The entire gathering turned to look up at Lireesa where she was currently walking down one of the spiraling ramps into the main room. Her hood was up - casting a shadow over the sharp, almost hawk-like features of her face that only made the silvery glow of her eyes more striking despite the lack of her usual black attire. 

“I would request that all inductees gather around the fire, now, that we may get underway.” 

The remaining rangers who had been hanging about outside filtered in, now, and Sylvanas stepped forward slowly - Velonara taking her place by her side so close to the flames they could feel the heat licking against them. Keeping them grounded. Sylvanas’s eyes trailed around the circle her year-mates had formed around the fire and each of them caught their impromptu leader’s gaze with their own. Anya, who smiled softly at her from across the flames. Kalira, who gave her a small nod - one that she returned. Then, other, less familiar faces. Ones she had only trained with a few times - perhaps those that were older and had needed longer in training. She recognized them, anyway. Cyndia, Kalira, and Thyala. 

On the edge of the gathering currently encircling them, she saw Captain Loralen smiling warmly with her arm draped around Kalira’s shoulders. The little wink the older woman sent her way was both encouraging and something she would never forget. 

“Children of the Sun - children of these forests and of these lands - children of our people's hearts. You have been all of these things, and you are yet still. Now, however, you will also be the teeth of this nation. The pointed tip of its longest spear. You will protect those that cannot protect themselves until your last breath - and even protect them with that if that is what is asked of you.”

Lireesa began walking, then - walking in the small circle between the gathering of young initiates and the fire that didn’t seem to bother her in the least. To each, she handed two arrows. One - the arrow of a young Ranger in training. The other - an ornate, beautiful piece carried by all Rangers, the tip carved beautifully in silver. The fletching wrapped with golden thread. They each looked down at what they’d been handed, in turn, and Sylvanas swallowed thickly as she did so. 

“Into the flames, cast your old life. Cast your youth and your doubts and any attachment you have deemed more powerful than your duty to your people. Along with these doubts and weaknesses, burn away with them your reservations. From their ashes, rise. Rise as Rangers of Quel’Thalas. Rise as the most fearsome, revered protectors of this kingdom and every man, woman, child and creature therein.” 

 

Lireesa returned to her place at the head of the circular gathering and nodded towards the flames. One by one, they each dropped the first arrow they’d been handed into the fire and watched as they caught and were engulfed. The room - and even the trees outside - were utterly silent. Lireesa lifted her hand to her chest, and they all followed suit - the inductees drawing the second of the arrows to their chest clutched in their fists as every Ranger in the room mirrored the motion. 

 

Slowly, Lireesa lowered her hand and began to remove her gauntlet, dropping it to the floor at her own feet and then approaching the fire in front of the first young woman. Anya. She bent and reached for the still hot ashes of the arrow - the ends of which were still burning - dipping her calloused fingertips into what was left in the shaft and turning to face her. “Belono sil’aru, belore’dorei.” Lireesa’s voice was low, yet, somehow, it still carried across the room for all to hear. “Shoulder your burdens well, child of the sun.” She left a trail of ashes from between Anya’s brows to the tip of her nose and Anya could still feel the heat of them on her when Lireesa withdrew her hand. 

Every woman, the same. Every Ranger, the same. Even Sylvanas - when she came to stand in front of her. Those same sharp, soul-searching silver eyes trained on the gray of her own. Perhaps for just a moment longer before she reached for the ashes of her daughter’s arrow. 

Sylvanas tightened her grip around the arrow she was clutching against her chest and drew in a slow, steady breath as Lireesa lifted her hand. “Belono sil’aru, belore’dorei.” She drew the line of ashes. She lowered her hand to where Sylvanas’s fist was pressed against her own chest and covered it with her own. “Child of mine.” 

Sylvanas felt a single tear slip from her eye, then, as she watched the faintest flicker - the faintest curve of the corner of her mother’s lips before she turned and moved to stand back in the break of the circle, completing it once again. 

“You each stepped into this room a citizen of Quel’Thalas. A prospect. Hopeful young women willing to do whatever it might take to one day wear these colors. To one day live, love and kill in the name of the Quel’dorei. Today is that day. Today, and every single day henceforth - you are Rangers. Shoulder your burdens well. Share them with your sisters. We are all but one being. When one of us hurts, every last one of us hurts. When one is lost - we _must_ spread that burden amongst our ranks, lest it become too heavy to bear. Now, there is no difference between you and anyone else here. Now, you are Rangers. Shoulder your burdens well. For all of your days.” 

With that, Lireesa lifted her own fist to her chest and stood at attention so stiffly, so flawlessly, that many in the room felt their breath catch in their throat. 

“Wipe the ashes away, now, and be reborn.” 

They each lifted their gloved hands and ran them over their faces until they were free of the soot that had adorned them, and once they did - a cheer erupted around the room. Deep, thunderous, and prideful in a way that made Lireesa’s eyes glint faintly as she grinned. 

“Now!” Every ear turned in the Ranger-General’s direction at the sharpness in her tone. “I trust some of you lot have managed to cook something worthwhile of such a celebration, and I trust there is plenty of wine hidden away somewhere.”

“Would we be your Rangers if that weren’t the case?” Lor’themar asked from somewhere within the jumble of bodies - who parted so Lireesa could see the way he was grinning. 

“No. No, I don’t suppose you would. Get to it, then. Let’s make this a night to rival all others.” 

In the scramble, Sylvanas was still standing very near Velonara - murmuring something to her so quietly that Lireesa couldn’t even hear it upon her approach. 

“Ranger.” Lireesa greeted with a smile. “Am I interrupting?” 

Sylvanas’s attention snapped to her mother. “No, no, General. Not at all.”

Lireesa pulled her close, suddenly, in a hug that Sylvanas didn’t know just how badly she’d needed. 

“I am still your mother.” Lireesa whispered into her ear. “That is something that I will always be.” Lireesa pulled back slowly and caught the soft expression on Velonara’s face behind Sylvanas as her own mother, an accomplished Captain in her own right, approached her for a similar hug. “And I am proud.”

"I Will Remain"  
Matthew And The Atlas

Further from my widowed home  
Take the road that sets into the sun  
Waiting for my skin and bone to return  
And see what I've become  
Summer has not yet been here though my days are long  
Take me back to when the night was young  
And another song was sung

What of all those pretty tales  
The ones that took me to this door?  
Is it comfort in the siren's wail  
The comfort upon this wooden floor?  
Tell you, is it a failure to forget the ones you once held dear?  
And I try to remember but my mind is no longer clear

I wandered 'til my brittle bone had succumbed and pulled me to the stone  
Further from the towns you've known I'll remain from where I had begun  
Stumble before I start I was kicking all the stones as a child  
In the meadow when the storm came through and I burrowed straight back to you

Ooooh... you've recognized me  
(Ooooh...) I followed far, far from the trees  
(Ooooh...) the roots came up, up to my knees  
(Ooooh...) they twisted 'round  
I made no sound... no sound

Would you ever doubt my love when my day is done?  
I lay down my body within this earth I've won  
Would you try to follow the roads I had to walk?  
There's a whisper in the willow, from there you'll hear me talk

 


	14. Belly Of The Deepest Love

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Hello, Captain.” Velonara’s voice was soft as she approached her lover - the only one of their unit yet awake aside from herself. The only one still enjoying the dying flames of their campfire.

Sylvanas lifted her eyes from the map she’d been studying as she felt Velonara’s hand stroke along the side of her neck and she tilted her head back for the kiss she knew was coming. 

“Come to the tent.” Velonara murmured against her lips as she gave the hood of her cloak a gentle tug. 

“Mm...tired of me giving the orders, already? I’ve only had this title for what, twenty years?” 

Velonara smiled softly and gave the cloth she’d gathered into her hand another tug - this one slightly more forceful. “Only twenty years, indeed.” Velonara repeated as Sylvanas finally stood and turned to face her. “You don’t give the orders when it’s only the two of us, Sylvanas.”

“Don’t I know it.” Sylvanas responded as Velonara took the map from her and began furling it before she slid it into the document pouch that hung at her lover’s hip. “Why pray tell, are you requesting my presence in the tent?” 

“We ride out tomorrow and you’re freshly bathed tonight.” Velonara replied with a faint smirk that produced a quiet, less than dignified snort from Sylvanas. Even as ridiculous as she sometimes found Velonara, she still found herself grasping the other woman’s hand and allowing herself to be led to the aforementioned tent. 

The flap fell shut behind them, though neither of them bothered to tie it. They wouldn’t be the only couple in camp that night sharing one another’s company. There were no secrets in a unit as close as theirs. They began undressing themselves as soon as they were truly alone - and Sylvanas did little to hide where she was looking. No, they had matured past that stage decades ago. Now, when there was time, they appreciated one another fully and as much as they could - and they did it without shame or apology. 

It had become easier, of course, when Sylvanas had been given this particular unit. 

_”Mother...how do you expect me to...to fairly...to effectively-”_

_“Because her life depends on it, Sylvanas.” Lireesa’s gaze was even and almost stony as she regarded her daughter from behind her desk. “Just like the lives of those other Rangers you will be leading. You will learn things, now, that you haven’t had to yet. You will learn the movement of each and every one of them - because not only do they pertain to you and to your country, they pertain to the one you love. Let her devotion - her loyalty - teach you how to lead. How to care for these women more deeply, even, than you already do. More importantly, learn how to maintain such a relationship under the watchful eyes of others while still maintaining your authority. Learn this now - and be thankful that you did when you are older.”_

_“Mother, that hardly seems fair. To use her...to use both her and my own feelings in such a way.” Sylvanas’s eyes smoldered in cold anger. Behind that anger, though, was fear. Very, very real fear. Lireesa could sense it - could feel it._

_“I am your General, Captain. And you have my orders. You will move with your unit at dawn. They are already aware of the change in leadership.”_

_“The death of their Captain, you mean? I’m sure they are painfully aware of that, General.” Sylvanas’s voice was low. There it was. The true reason she was so angry. Angry with her mother for putting Velonara in such a position. Sending her into hostile territory. Even now, Velonara still hadn’t fully recovered. Physically? Sure. But there were some scars that didn’t show on one's flesh._

_Lireesa leaned back in her chair and a strange look came over her face. One that Sylvanas didn’t recognize, and so - made her think. Until her expression softened and her head lowered. “You mean to show me what it’s like to make decisions like the one you made.” Sylvanas’s voice was a murmur, now._

_“Even your most loved arrow - the one you have kept in your quiver since you first became a Ranger - must be spent if it is the last one you have to reach for, my child.”_

_Sylvanas reached for the leather strap across her chest and touched the buckle of it. She didn’t need to look - she didn’t need to touch the fletchings of the arrows that filled it. She knew right where that arrow was. She knew she had avoided reaching for it for years. And so did Lireesa._

_“They are not arrows, Mother.” She was whispering, now. Whispering because she knew Lireesa was right._

_“But they are, my darling girl.” Lireesa stood as she spoke. She rounded the corner of her desk and drew her daughter’s hand into her own to squeeze it tightly. “Sometimes, you must let them fly. Fly into targets you know they likely won’t be retrieved from. No matter how you love them. No matter how deeply it cuts you.”_

“My love?” 

Sylvanas looked up at Velonara and shook her head as she lowered her quiver to the floor of their tent. “I’m sorry, Vel.”

“Don’t apologize.” The other woman whispered as she approached, reaching for the clasps of Sylvanas’s cloak as she kissed her temple gently. “I love you. Be here with me for just a while.” 

A rather harsh breath left the Captain as Velonara’s hands stroked down the front of her body. Oh, she was here, now. Especially when her own hands found the slender strength of Velonara’s sides and pulled her closer. 

“There you are.” Velonara’s voice was a breathy whisper. Full of need and longing that Sylvanas wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to answer. 

They nearly fell into their bedroll together - Sylvanas on top of Velonara, biting harshly at her neck as she spread her legs and kneaded the muscles of her thighs. The roughness only brought quiet, breathy moans from the other woman. She relished it just as much as she had their tender, almost shy lovemaking of years long past. 

“What were you thinking about?” Velonara asked into her ear when she lifted her head. 

“You.” Sylvanas breathed in reply as she trailed her thumb between Velonara’s legs - just barely brushing across her clit before she pressed it into the tight, wet heat below in a way that felt to Velonara like she was being claimed. 

Sylvanas began working her thumb almost immediately, thrusting it within Velonara for a moment before she slipped it back out and found her clit firmly, rolling it in circles and breathing heavily against the other woman’s ear. “Always you.” 

With that, Sylvanas slipped quickly down Velonara’s body and pressed against her like she was starving. In a way, perhaps she was. Perhaps she was hungry for the slick, warm skin against her mouth - the silkiness of it and the first little jerks of Velonara’s hips when she found the other woman’s clit with her tongue. And, oh, the sounds. A mixture of something between breaths and grunts as hands buried into her platinum hair and tugged mercilessly. 

“Your fingers.” Velonara gasped out. “Please.” 

Velonara loved the feeling of Sylvanas’s lips spreading into a smile against her too-sensitive skin. Just not quite as much as the feeling of deft, slender fingers sliding into her in a torturously slow fashion. 

“Bitch.” She gasped out, shuddering at the low rumble of a chuckle that played against her clit. 

“Is that any way to speak to your Captain?” Sylvanas asked in a murmur - purposely leaving her mouth close to Velonara as she did so. 

“Oh, wait until I have my Captain on her back whimpering in my ear…” Velonara murmured as her head rolled. “She takes a good fucking as well as she organizes a camp, if you hadn’t heard.” 

It was Sylvanas’s turn to shudder, then, and Velonara laughed quietly at the feeling of it, though that laughter faded into soft, urgent moans when her lover turned her mouth to things more pressing than words. 

Soon enough, Velonara made good her promise. The little crescent welts in her back still stung as they lay together, exhausted and sated - and the soft, high-pitched sounds Sylvanas made against her bruising shoulder still echoed in her ears. 

Slowly, their frantic breathing slowed - the heat of the night air became slightly less suffocating - and Velonara reached for Sylvanas’s thigh beneath the thin blanket they shared, squeezing it firmly. 

In response, Sylvanas rolled onto her side and found Velonara’s eyes with her own, looking into them as she reached up to thread her fingers slowly through the other woman’s hair. 

“Your eyes.” Velonara murmured, her voice still slightly husky, though gentle. 

“What about them?” Sylvanas asked as she stroked along Velonara’s brow with the side of her thumb. 

“Like the calm before a storm...or the break in one, perhaps. I’ve been getting lost in them since we were children.” She leaned up and kissed Sylvanas, then, and their lips parted with the sweetest, softest sound. “Rest, my Captain.” 

“Only with your arms around me.” Sylvanas whispered, allowing her eyes to fall half shut as she trailed her fingertips down Velonara’s stomach. 

“I remember when you could barely keep yourself up on your gangly legs, much less wax poetic with me naked in your bedroll.” Velonara snaked an arm beneath Sylvanas’s side, then, and pulled her down slowly until they were nestled together. 

In the pre-dawn light that filtered through the slit of the flaps of their tent, far too few hours later, Sylvanas’s eyes were already open and she was sitting, unmoving at Velonara’s side. 

“Get dressed.” She hissed sharply. Suddenly. Not even removing their blanket all the way before she started pulling her breeches on. 

Velonara was up almost as quickly. They were conditioned. Conditioned to spring into action at a moments’ notice. Only, Velonara heard absolutely nothing outside. No fuss. No commotion. Not even birdsong. Which...was strange. 

What was even more strange, was the fact that Sylvanas was strapping her armor on over her clothing. The heavy armor of a Captain that she rarely wore around camp. 

“Sylvanas…have you even slept?” She sounded worried. Almost frantic. But she said no more than that. 

“Quickly, Velonara. Quickly. Something is wrong.” 

What could she do, but listen? 

Sylvanas beat her out of the tent - already pulling her cloak on over her ears as the flaps fell shut behind her and the morning breeze caught the material hanging against her back and blew it around her legs while she surveyed the edge of the forest nearby. 

“Sylvanas.” Velonara’s voice was steadier, now. The voice of a Ranger instead of a concerned lover, as she handed Sylvanas her bow and then moved her hands to strap her own quiver across her chest. “You orders.” 

“Wake the others. The ones who aren’t already stirring. Half of them, to me when they already, the others split at my flanks.” She’d been about to say more when her eyes settled on something out of place. A subtle difference - especially in the grey light - in the tall grass that blanketed the area. Blue. Blue in a sea of green. A cloak. Lariel.

Her heart leaped into her throat and she reached up behind herself, drawing an arrow from her quiver as a sound akin to a click left her. Left her without being returned. 

No. No. 

Dew began to dampen the leather of her boots and leggings as she treaded carefully towards the crumpled shape and each step only further confirmed her fears. Her instinct, of course, was to run to her fallen Ranger. To let the fury that was running rampant through her body come to the surface. But she would not. She could not. There were over a dozen more women behind her. Living, breathing women frantically donning their armor and stringing their bows at Velonara’s behest. She could hear them over the hammering of her pulse in her ears, even now. There was nothing she could do for this one. Nothing.

She had been placed here. Placed here for them to find. That much was certain. She was at least a quarter mile from her post. Sylvanas didn’t even turn when she heard approaching footfalls to her left. They were the sounds of one of her own. 

“Captain….Captain, what happened?” 

“I don’t know, Verana.” Sylvanas whispered, her sharp eyes still working through the lines of the trees as far as she could see, only to find nothing. 

Finally, she released the tension of her bow and moved forward, kneeling down in front of the fallen Ranger and reaching to push back the hood of her cloak. She winched visibly as her gaze fell upon the angry red slash that spanned the front of her throat and unseeing eyes that no longer glowed. The sound Verana made behind her was worse, though. The choked whimper. Bitten back with such effort that Sylvanas _felt_ it in her very core. Gently. Carefully - she lowered the fallen woman’s eyelids with her thumb and lifted Lariel’s body into her arms, turning to Verana slowly. 

“Take her the Enclave. Take her home.” Sylvanas’s voice was soft but stern as she was relieved of the weight of the slight woman. Small. The watchers were always small. A fleeting thought. One there wasn’t any place for. Not here. Not now.

“Captain.” Verana whispered. “If it was the Amani, you might have need of me.”

“They will be dealt with in your absence. You have your orders, Ranger.” 

Verana looked down at the woman in her arms, swallowing thickly and nodding. “Thank you.” 

Sylvanas reached out and grasped her shoulder, then. “Once we’ve dealt with this, we will follow behind.” 

Verana nodded and made her way to camp, where one of the Rangers left there helped her onto a horse after wrapping her charge securely in her own cloak. 

“Back to camp. Battle regalia, all of you. Once you are adequately prepared, we march.” The orders were simple. Concise. They cut through the grief that threatened to consume them all and gave each of them renewed purpose. Velonara lingered after the rest of the Rangers had departed and approached her lover carefully, but Sylvanas caught her arm by the wrist as she reached for her. She didn’t push her away, however. She simply pressed a kiss to her palm and released her. “Not now.” Sylvanas murmured, searching for Velonara’s eyes - urging her to understand, as she always did. 

“At your ready, then, my Captain. Always.” Velonara responded before turning to see to the rest of their number. 

No sooner had they all begun to form ranks than Sylvanas re-emerged from her tent, a blaze of blue and gold and hard, steeled temperament. No sooner had she walked towards her unit to address them when motion caught her attention near the forest. All at once, the sound of arrow shaft against arrow shaft met her ears as every Ranger gathered near their camp drew and nocked in unison. 

Sylvanas, on the other hand, simply turned to face the lurking presence coolly. 

“I come to negotiate, Elf.” The accent. The tone. Unmistakeable. 

Sylvanas lifted the had not currently holding her bow - not even needing to turn to see that her unit had lowered their own immediately. 

“I did not.” 

A dozen set of ears lifted behind her. A dozen chins raised only slightly. 

“Reconsider that. I was the one that delivered her to you. I did not have to do it, either.” 

Even as he spoke, Sylvanas scanned the area behind him. A ruse. This was a ruse. Her right ear flicked back slightly. A dozen set of feet shifted in the softness of the grass at her back. 

“I thank you, truly, for your charity, troll.” 

His chuckle was grating. “Figured you might. Your little soldier flew to close to the sun. I been sent to warn you not to make that same mistake. A simple request.” 

“Is that it, then?” Sylvanas asked with a slight tilt of her head. “You wish us to cede our own home to you? To allow you to murder our people at your leisure? To cut the throat of a lone woman who was merely watching?” 

“That lone woman had teeth, Lady Elf.” The troll responded with a sneer. A sneer that faded into a look of surprise as a muffled gurgle left his throat and he reached for the arrow buried in the center of it as Sylvanas lowered her bow. He hadn’t even seen her take the shot. 

“She still does.” Sylvanas muttered, reaching slowly for another arrow as the troll fell first to his knees, then the rest of the way to the ground. 

When the first troll broke from the cover of the tree he had chosen in the distance, a second arrow from her was soon protruding from his chest where he had fallen mid-stride. 

“How many?” Sylvanas asked when Velonara and Anya came to stand on either side of her, as she tried to decipher the noises and movements in her own head. 

“No more than twenty.” Velonara responded. 

“Then there will be eight left when they reach us. Understood?” 

No response was needed. Even if one had been - there wasn’t time. Their enemy burst forth from the foliage in a blaze of color, noise, and the glinting of metal on the end of wicked polearms. After all these years, the Amani still acted upon passion. They would allow their anger to guide them, open and defenseless across a clearing towards archers that had an arrow for each of them. And not a single one missed. 

Eight. Eight left when the first blows fell. Some glanced away by the strong curves of Elven bows, some met with the steel of elegantly curved short swords. 

“Close in!” Sylvanas shouted as she tangled her next foe’s polearm in her bow and forced him close enough that she could plunge her dagger into his side. She kicked him away from herself quickly, turning just in time to see a spear swinging down towards her so quickly she only had time to grab it in her fist just beneath its blade, baring her fangs and snarling as the force of it jarred her shoulder painfully. But it was pain she didn’t truly feel right then. Pain that was relieved quickly when one of Velonara’s arrows found its way into his back as their formation trapped those that remained too closely for polearms and spears to be of any use. 

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t clean. Battle never was. But it was quick, ruthless, and efficient. No more Elven blood would be spilled that day. No, but the ground and unit were bathed in the blood of their foes. 

They all looked around at each other - examining one another carefully. A gash here. A sprain there. And a pile of troll bodies that would be left to rot. This far out on the border - such displays served as a message. One they could no longer afford to not send. 

They were largely silent as they returned to camp and began packing up. Velonara watched Sylvanas favor her shoulder, but she was nursing a sore ankle of her own - and she knew Sylvanas wouldn’t allow herself to be seen to until they reached the Enclave. Until they reached the one they’d lost. 

They rode hard despite their exhaustion. Despite the fact that, occasionally, one of them would nod over the front of their saddle for a while. Just a moment of rest. Reprieve while it was safe enough. The familiarity and the comfort of the Enclave was a prospect they clung to desperately, with the scent of blood and death in their noses - their hair caked in reminders of their morning. 

It was well past dark when they finally reached their destination. Sylvanas stayed mounted and alert as difficult as it was, as those that had gathered at the Enclave in waiting for them helped her unit from their mounts towards hot springs that were waiting nearby. 

Her alertness was mostly feigned, though, because she jumped when she felt a gentle touch to her thigh. The mask slipped, finally, when she looked down and saw Velonara. She all but poured out of her saddle onto her feet against the other woman, leaning into her in the cover of night and finally allowing Velonara to embrace her. 

“In the morning.” Velonara whispered to her as Sylvanas couldn’t help but rest her face against her shoulder.  
“In the morning, you will be our Captain, again. Tonight - you are tired. And you are hurt.” 

“So are you.” Sylvanas breathed, the exhaustion pouring from her in waves, now. 

“I turned too quickly and sprained my ankle, Sylvanas. You stopped a spear-blow with nothing but your hand. I’m fairly certain those are two very different things. Is it broken? Your hand? Your wrist?” 

Sylvanas shook her head. 

“Then let’s go to the springs and get this wretched stench off ourselves.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She shouldn’t be dead, Velonara.” Sylvanas rasped as moved to sit on the edge of the bed that had been prepared for them. A real bed. Not a cot. Not a bedroll. A soft, plush bed that was thicker, even, than hers at the Spire. “I shouldn’t have lost her.”

Velonara reached up from where she had only just been laying with Sylvanas at her side, and pulled her back down with a firm grip on her shoulder before wrapping her almost forcefully in her arms. A heavy sigh left her as she kissed her lover’s bare shoulder and then pressed her forehead against it. “None of us heard anything at all, Sylvanas. Were it not for you - we might all be dead. There were plenty enough of them that they could have made it happen, had you not awoken.” 

“I dread the day Vereesa is old enough to patrol the borders.” Sylvanas murmured into Velonara’s hair as she rested the tips of her fingers against the other woman’s stomach. 

“That day is long from now, Sylvanas. And the last thing you need worry with tonight. Turn over.” 

Sylvanas looked at Velonara questioningly for a moment before obliging, settling onto her stomach with a quiet exhale as she drew her pillow beneath her face. A moment later, Velonara’s fingers were tracing hard lines of muscle in her back as she settled herself down, as well. 

Exhaustion took them quickly. Despite the worry. Despite the ache in their bones. The haven of the Enclave had worked its magic on not only them, but all of them. 

“Where do you think they were heading?” Lireesa asked in an almost disaffected tone as she sat next to Lor’themar on the bench near the fire in the center of the Enclave, staring into its flames. 

“The Sanctum, perhaps? I don’t know how they thought they were going to make it any further than they did, even if her unit hadn’t been in the way.” 

“Oh, they grow bold every so often.” Lireesa responded as Lor’themar nodded his agreement. 

“Are you going to go see her, then?” He asked in a tone that was almost careful as he turned his eyes onto the dark-clad General to his left. 

“Tonight, I will let her rest. In the morning, though, yes. Losing one of your own is...one of the hardest trials you face as a Ranger. A reality you know all too well. This is her first. I imagine she is struggling with it, but right now - she is with exactly who she needs in this moment.”

“Are you worried?” His next question came as he crossed one of his legs over the other and watched Lireesa lower her head slowly. 

“As a mother? Terribly. Every single day. Had I placed my own unit there, instead of hers - she wouldn’t have to know the pain she now knows.” Lireesa trailed off for a moment before lifting her head again, allowing her eyes to fall shut as the fire warmed her face again. “As a General, I am pleased that her losses were only one. I’m certain I will be even more proud when I read her reports tomorrow evening. As for the Amani...they are chomping at the bit as of late, it seems. We have held our ground for decades. I hope I don’t see that change in my lifetime.”

“You won a lot of that ground for us, General.” Lor’themar pointed out as Lireesa’s eyes opened slowly. 

“No one elf wins a battle, Lor’themar.”

“No, perhaps not. But a leader certainly does.” 

“Yes, I believe my daughter has reminded us all of that fact today. But war...war is an entirely different beast.”

Lor’themar paused at that. Thought about the implications and the truth of that statement. 

“And do you fear it approaches?” He asked quietly, though they were the only ones down here this late. 

“I pray that it does not. Our numbers have yet to recover fully. Our Royal counterparts believe us infallible. Our magic impenetrable.”

“Is...is it not?” His brow furrowed, then, in both confusion and worry. 

“No wall is without its cracks. No spell is without its seams. If that were true, there would be no need of us. Don’t fret too much, Lor’themar.” She stood and grasped his shoulder firmly before releasing him with a faintly tired smile. “Perhaps just pray, as I do, that it never again comes to pass.” 

Lireesa slipped away as he sat there, enjoying the comfort of her words. She took the stairs silently, passing the rooms given to the Rangers of her daughter’s unit until she stood in the doorway she had been seeking out, looking into the room silently at the back she knew belonged to her daughter - and at the hand that was still and unmoving upon it, belonging to Velonara. Velonara, whose eyes opened in tiny slits and peered at her from where she lay. 

Lireesa smiled softly as she rested a hand on the curved frame of the open doorway for a moment before moving on. At least tonight, there was comfort for them all. All except one. And that was the room she found herself in next. 

“Verana.” She spoke the name quietly as she entered, finding the woman sitting up in bed. 

“Ranger-General. Forgive me the night clothes.” 

Lireesa lifted her hand in a wave of dismissal and moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down and looking over at her. “Were the two of you close?” 

Verana smiled - a sad little half-smile. “From time to time.” She responded almost dryly in a way that made Lireesa chuckle. 

“Ah, yes. I see. Lariel, yes?”

Verana nodded, surprised Lireesa would know her name when she clearly wouldn’t have yet had access to any reports, or even to their Captain. 

“A good Ranger. A good young woman.” 

Verana nodded faintly and looked down at her hands in her own lap. “I was resting when my unit arrived. Those that were already here gave me some diabolical tea-like concoction and before I knew it, I was out like a light.” There was worry edging her tone. Worry and guilt. 

“No more were lost. There were not even any seriously wounded. I’m sure that Alleria will be asking after you, after this. If she doesn’t show up to check in, herself.” 

Verana lifted her eyes and regarded her General through the haze of that foul tea she had already mentioned. “It is funny, don’t you think, that she still cares so much after all these years?” 

“You were always her favorite trainee, Verana. She saw great promise in you, as did I. As I still do. You were always a little more like her than the average Ranger. I believe she found a kindred spirit in you.” 

“I’m honored you would say so, Ranger-General.” 

“Honored?” Lireesa asked with a smile smile curving the corners of her lips, showing the faint lines beside her mouth. “My eldest is wild in a way few are, now. A mess, truly. But the fiercest fighter I have ever known. I can’t help but be filled with pride that you would be honored at the comparison. Like I can’t help but be filled with pride for all of you. For your sacrifices and your selflessness.”

Tired and drained though she was, Verana smiled softly - a smile that brought warmth to her far-away eyes. Only then did Lireesa stand and move towards the door. “And stop fighting that tea.” Lireesa said before she left. “You are drowsy for a reason. Let it take you. Tomorrow is a new day. Tonight, you have all earned your rest. Even if it has been forced upon you.” 

With that, she was gone. There would be no rest for the General that night. There would be only maps and reports and correspondence. Until, in the hazy light that began to cause her to lower the flame on her lamp, a presence caused her to lift her attention from her paperwork. 

“Mother?” 

“Alleria.” The name left her like an exhale of breath. Oh, it had been months. It had been too long. She nearly scrambled from her seat behind her desk - only barely made it to her daughter before the Farstrider’s arms were around her, and hers around Alleria in turn. 

“Lady Moon?” Alleria asked quietly as Lireesa pulled back to look up at her, to look at the wild waves of her hair that spilled from the emerald green of her cloak. 

“Resting, but fine.” Lireesa responded simply as Alleria lifted a hand and rested it on her shoulder. 

“And you?” Alleria continued, brow furrowed in worry. “You look like you’ve not slept in days.” 

Alleria was right, of course. She hadn’t. Still, Lireesa’s only response was a faint shake of her head. “How, exactly, did you not only hear of this, but make it to the Enclave so quickly?” 

Alleria smirked. “You expect me to not hear of my own sister slaughtering a band of trolls?” 

Lireesa sighed and cradled Alleria’s cheek in her gloved palm. “Of course not, dear. Forgive me.” 

“Forgiven.” Alleria responded simply, before hesitating. “And Verana?” 

Lireesa’s expression softened further, then. “Perhaps in need of your company, if you have it to spare.” 

  
Belly Of The Deepest Love  
Tow’rs

I remember when I was young  
I was fickle, you were so strong  
I remember trees as they called your name  
Mother told me listen up close  
There's a story they have composed  
Look how their clapping arms are a swaying high

Do you remember back on the day?  
When the trees swayed in the same way  
How the clouds swung low over kings and thieves  
How your mother stayed by your side  
Watch the curtain tear in your eye  
All the heavy hearts could've cracked the ground

The beats of hammers felt like drums of war  
Killed for the words you swore

From the belly of the deepest love  
The hills trembling throats sing hallelujah  
Like the flowers on the dogwood tree  
Blush with blame you took for me  
Oh, how you wish to be with me  
Oh, how you wish to be with me

Do you remember seeing the Man?  
Covered by the same blood He damned  
Join the song with the sky in the darkest hour  
I need something to hold onto  
Stronger than the iron that held You  
Louder than the roar of the crowd that day

The beats of hammers felt like drums of war  
Killed for the words you swore

From the belly of the deepest love  
The hills trembling throats sing hallelujah  
Like the flowers on the dogwood tree  
Blush with blame you took for me  
Oh, how you wish to be with me  
Oh, how you wish to be with me

I tried to get to you  
But you came to me instead  
With the dawn the grave is gone  
Oh, how you wish to be with me


	15. I'll Be Here In The Morning

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Sylvanas let out a sharp hiss and narrowed her eyes slightly as Velonara lifted a brow at her and then continued wrapping the wound on her bicep. “Don’t bare your fangs at me, Sylvanas Windrunner. This type of attitude is going to make for a rather long, uneventful vacation.”

“It hurts.” Sylvanas complained quietly as her ears drooped and she looked down at the fresh dressing Velonara was now securing to her arm. 

“You’ve had worse. You’re just being a baby.” Velonara murmured before leaning down and pressing a slow kiss to the corner of Sylvanas’s mouth. “But I love you, anyway.” 

“Mhm.” The Captain smiled faintly, then, and caught Velonara’s lips in a real kiss before she had a chance to pull away. 

“You just had to go and get wounded before we were set to leave, didn’t you? I’m beginning to think you must just want to strut about Silvermoon for a while before you allow me to have you to myself.” 

Sylvanas flopped back onto her bed with a heavy sigh, landing among their half-packed bags. “We needn’t go to Silvermoon at all. It will heal on its own.” 

“Are you planning to complain the entire two weeks of our leave, or…?” 

“You’re being terribly mean to me, Vel.” Sylvanas whispered as her lips turned down in a soft frown - her best attempt and looking doleful. 

Velonara’s expression softened despite the fact that she was well aware her lover’s hurt was largely feigned, and she crawled on top of her carefully, planting one hand on either side of her and then leaning down to kiss the frown away from her lips. 

“I love you, too.” Sylvanas murmured against them, snaking a hand around to the nape of her neck to keep her close. “Your beauty rivals that of every star in the night sky. And your love, the fire of every sun.” 

Velonara released a quiet breath and shook her head before lowering it, nipping gently at the side of Sylvanas’s neck. “Flattery will get you nowhere, fiend.” She whispered, though her fingers dug lightly into the bedcovers as the other woman pressed her leg up between her thighs. 

“None of that until you’ve seen a healer.” Velonara chided gently as she removed herself from Sylvanas’s knee, albeit with a touch of regret. It was rare they spent time together in a real bed, anymore. Ah, well. Plenty of time for that over the next days. 

“After, then?” Sylvanas asked with a grin as she sat back up and quickly followed Velonara onto her feet, pressing along her back before she rested her hands on the other woman’s upper arms. 

“Anar’alah, Sylvanas. Behave. Please. You aren’t making this easy.” Velonara was leaning back into her, though. She couldn’t help it. Nor could she help but tilt her head to the side as she felt soft lips ghosting up the side of her neck. 

Sylvanas heaved her most dramatic sigh as she pulled back and moved to help Velonara finish their packing only to have her hands slapped away and a glare shot in her direction. “I swear to the Light, Sylvanas, if you re-open that wound before we get to Silvermoon…” 

Sylvanas responded by staring incredulously for a moment before skulking to the armchair in the corner of the bedroom, where she proceeded to pout until - after a while - her ears perked at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. 

“Hello, ladies.” Lirath crooned as he propped himself in the doorway with a rather handsome grin plastered to his face. “Going somewhere?”

 

“Lirath!” Sylvanas’s expression and tone were both filled with unmistakable excitement as she got up and held her arms open for a hug. 

“Be careful with your sister. She’s wounded and refuses to acknowledge it, unless she’s complaining that I’m not tending to it gently enough.” 

“Is that so?” Lirath responded, turning an admonishing gaze in his sister’s direction before he gave her a rather careful hug. 

“You weren’t home when we arrived.” Sylvanas said softly as they parted. “We’re going to Silverpine for a week or two.”

“I was...visiting someone.” Lirath responded with a rather sheepish downward glance. 

“Ah, and who is the lucky...person?” Sylvanas asked with a conspiratorial lift of one of her brows as she rested a hand on her hip and Velonara merely shook her head, buckling their bags and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“They’re...he’s...it’s nothing serious. I just…”

“No need to explain, handsome.” Sylvanas reassured quietly, reaching out to give his shoulder a gentle stroke. “I’d love to meet him when you’re ready.” 

Lirath looked both relieved and appreciative as Sylvanas began inspecting him, lifting a hand to tilt his chin down as she squinted. “What is this, now? Are...are you trying to grow a beard?” A rather hearty chuckle left her as he pushed her hand away and glowered. 

“I’m not _trying_ to do anything. It’s only been a few days. Give it time.” 

“Of course, of course. I pray you have better luck with it than Father.” 

“Oh, Sylvanas. Leave him alone. He’s doing his best.” Velonara murmured as she shouldered both their bags and looked over at her lover. “Besides, have you seen yourself” Her eyes trailed over the flowing sleeveless blue shirt she was wearing - the high collar that split down her chest that was adorned with golden filigree, and the rather well-tailored pants below that fit her like a glove and tucked into what had to be the finest leather boots she’d ever seen. “All he’s done is stop shaving. You look like you’ve had a personal clothier working on that for weeks and all we’re doing is seeing a healer and then disappearing into a forest for a while.” 

Lirath positively cackled before excusing himself to retreat into his own room as Sylvanas slowly turned her attention to Velonara. “Do you plan on making it up to me? All this terribly unfair and unwarranted animosity?” 

Velonara sighed and walked over to her lover, adjusting their bags on her shoulders as she met her gaze evenly. “I torture you because you’re insufferable. And because I love you with every fiber of my being. But, yes. I plan to make it up to you.” 

“Good.” Sylvanas responded simply - looking all too pleased with herself as they made their way downstairs.

“You're all too pretty for your own good, you know.” Velonara remarked idly as she allowed Sylvanas to move ahead of her - worried about her arm enough that she wanted to be able to catch her if she lost her footing. 

“Are we?” Sylvanas asked - sounding about as confused and disbelieving as ever anyone had. It was almost convincing. 

“Every last one of you.” Velonara replied. “You could get away with anything and you know it. With just a look. You do it all the time - so I can attest to that.”

“Hm. Perhaps. I'll remember to thank my mother for my genes the next time I see her. They've served me well. Have you seen my significant other? She's certainly not half bad to look at.” 

“You’re impossible and I can’t stand you.” Velonara muttered as Aravath turned to look at them from where he was standing in the kitchen. 

“I love you, too.” Sylvanas whispered in reply while her father walked over with a grin. 

“Off to Silvermoon, then? And you promise to be safe on your little outing?” Aravath was already weaving a portal spell, lowering his hands once it flickered into existence before them. 

“Yes, Father. We promise.” Sylvanas placed a hand on his chest and kissed his cheek with a smile before stepping through the portal. 

“You’ll make sure she gets that arm seen to?” He asked Velonara with a faint furrow of his brow. 

“She’s banned from any and all physical activity until it’s healed.” She responded, amusement dripping from her tone. 

He smirked almost playfully and shook his head. “Brilliant.” 

With that, she was gone as well. The next time she opened her eyes, she was standing next to Sylvanas in the center of a Court. One that likely rivaled anything on Azeroth. The feeling, too, was breathtaking. They spent so much of their time quite far from the Sunwell - and to be so close to it, so suddenly, was akin to being bathed in its light. 

“I see why the Magisters stay here, sometimes. Though, admittedly, I prefer it in small doses.” Velonara remarked quietly as she looked around at the brilliant blues and golds and marble perfected through immense amounts of magic. Magic that still flowed around them like a breeze. Like a pulse. 

“It is quite...alluring, yes.” Sylvanas replied as she looked over at Velonara. “I spent far too much time here with my mother, I think, to appreciate it properly. That, or I prefer the alternative.” 

Velonara nodded faintly. “I think the only person I’ve met in my life that was more at home in the forests than you are is your sister.”

“Come.” Sylvanas urged with a smile after an enchanted broom swept its way across their path. “Don’t let my mother fool you.” She continued as they walked together. “The only reason she can stand it here is Elenia. She’s worse than any of us, I think. The only reason she has a mind for politics is because she has no choice. Father certainly never did.”

“Where did you get it from, then? The way that you are?” Velonara asked in quiet curiosity as they turned a corner and entered an arched corridor. It was so cool inside, compared to the warmth of the city itself. Cooler, even, than most of the rooms in Silvermoon. Before long, the strange smells of herbs and potions met their noses. 

“I’m not sure.” The answer was simple, yet honest. “I hate it just as much as the next person...but it makes sense to me. All the maneuverings and power plays. I like to watch people. I...I just understand them. How they work. The harder they try to veil their intentions, the more clearly I can see them.” 

Before Velonara could respond, Sylvanas was pushing back a sheer curtain and ducking into a little off-shoot of the hallway they’d been walking down. 

One of the Priestesses who had been working at a marble-topped counter across the room turned and immediately glanced towards the bandage on Sylvanas’s arm before gesturing towards a bench nearby. “Let me take a look.” She offered as Sylvanas held up her arm. 

“Oh, you behave for her?” Velonara asked in a way that caused the Priestess to laugh quietly. 

“Ah, luck is on my side today. I happen upon a Windrunner being put in her place.” 

Everyone in the room turned their attention to the new voice for a moment. Deep and gentle in the most oddly commanding way. As commanding as her physical presence was, really. From her immaculate robes to her unusual auburn hair - not paying attention to her really didn’t seem to be an option. 

“Alesso, the tomes I told you I had in my rooms. My apologies for taking so long to get them to you. I’ve been rather buried, as of late.”

The woman looked down at the little volumes that had been handed to her and passed them off to the other Priestess in the room before turning back to her patient. “No apology needed, High Priestess. I am flattered that you remembered.” 

“Mm. And what have we, here? Did you wrap this, yourself? How ever did you manage to get her to hold still long enough?” 

Velonara looked down at Sylvanas and the wound she assumed the High Priestess was addressing. “She holds still well enough, I suppose.” She responded as Sylvanas’s cheeks colored faintly. “She’s just noisy about it.” 

“Ah, she just wants attention. The ability to survive many pokes quite handily and thrive on being doted upon might be hereditary, I think.” 

Sylvanas, by now, was visibly withering as Alesso finished the spell she’d been working on her arm and began cleaning any residue left once there was no more than a fresh, shimmering line of skin left. 

“High Priestess…” Sylvanas lifted her gaze to the woman who simply smirked at her in amusement in return. 

“You needn’t worry about my soiling her opinion of you. She seems rather smitten. How is your family, Sylvanas?” 

“Well, thank you.” Sylvanas replied rather curtly which only caused the smirk on the High Priestess’s face to widen into a grin. 

“Send your mother my regards. She doesn’t get poked nearly as often as you. I rarely see her anymore.” 

“I’ll be sure she knows you approve of her decrease in pokes.” Sylvanas responded dryly - watching the retreating Priestess as her ears lowered at the responding chuckle fading down the hallway. 

“Who was that?” Velonara asked quietly as they made their way back down the corridor once they finished up. 

Sylvanas lifted a brow in surprise. “The High Priestess? Lady Liadrin.” 

Velonara’s eyes widened and the color drained from her face in a way that made Sylvanas smile warmly, the chiding from earlier already forgiven. “I’m sorry, Syl. I didn’t know...fuck…” 

“She’s just a person. A person who likes giving me a hard time because she knows Mother, that’s all. Give me one of the bags, Vel.” She reached for the one nearest herself and slid it from Velonara’s shoulder. “Are you excited?” 

The question seemed so out of place. Especially coming from Sylvanas. So much so, that Velonara tugged her close just before they were back outside and planted a firm kiss against her lips. “Very. You have no idea.” She murmured before kissing her again. Sylvanas, surprisingly enough, returned the kiss before pulling back. “So am I.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Velonara murmured softly as she felt Sylvanas press up behind her. It was. There was a stream so close that it could be heard even inside and trees that hid the little cabin from view - not that there were any roads close enough that that was really a concern. They had never experienced anything like this. They’d never been so...free. Yeah, that was the word.

“I thought you might like it.” Sylvanas responded, smiling against Velonara’s shoulder where her shirt had fallen to expose it. “It really is nice. It’s nice to have you out here. It’s nice to just be.” 

Velonara turned slowly in Sylvanas’s arms and paused for a moment when their gazes met. Just to appreciate the sight of the soft oranges and reds of the sunset casting their glow over her face. “You have every right to know how gorgeous you are.” Velonara whispered as she threaded a hand beneath the front of her shirt and touched lightly along the front of her stomach until she was tracing the gentle curve of the underside of her breast with her fingertips. “As much hell as I give you for it. I don’t mean it.” 

Sylvanas’s chest rose and fell sharply, suddenly, beneath Velonara’s hand as it slipped higher and covered her breast entirely and she leaned in to ghost her lips against the corner of the other woman’s mouth as she spoke. “What about me is so beautiful, Vel? Surely you haven’t looked at yourself in the mirror often enough.” 

“Everything.” Velonara began, though she knew it hadn’t been a real question. “How strong you are.” As if to accentuate this point, her hand moved higher - though the heel of her palm grazed Sylvanas’s nipple in a way that caused her breath to catch in her throat - and traced the curve of muscle that led from her neck to her shoulder. “How your features are somehow sharp and soft at the same time.” 

She turned her head, then, nudging Sylvanas’s face to the side with her own before she kissed the line of her jaw and grazed it with her teeth. “Like here.” Velonara whispered as Sylvanas tilted her head to the side, only allowing the other woman to pay attention, then, to the slender side of her neck. There, she latched on and sucked slowly against the skin - pinching it lightly between her teeth until she knew she’d left a mark she’d never have otherwise been able to leave. She could now, though. She could lay her claim for the two of them and for this forest to see. “And here.” She smiled faintly as her hand fell, then, and she traced beneath the waistband of Sylvanas’s pants, first at the hollow of her hip, then lower. 

“You’re…” Sylvanas was already breathless. Already leaning into the other woman faintly. 

“Telling you how I feel.” Velonara responded, lifting her free hand to the back of Sylvanas’s head, stroking through her hair as she slipped a finger against the wetness already gathering between her legs. “Oh, Syl…” She breathed, gripping the back of her neck as Sylvanas jerked faintly against her. “And absolutely here.” She continued in a low, measured tone. 

“That’s...that’s only for you.” Sylvanas murmured as she began to mouth slowly against Velonara’s neck - her breaths coming out sharply against her skin. 

Velonara stroked once more through the other woman’s hair before guiding her head back with a gentle grip on it as she removed her glistening fingers from her leggings. “I know it is.” Her eyes were locked on Sylvanas’s when she spoke. 

“I’d like to go inside, now. If that’s alright with you.” Sylvanas took Velonara’s hand in her own, stroking over the wetness on her fingertips with her own. “Unless you plan on standing out here until I die of dehydration.” 

The laugh Velonara gave in response was soft and breathy but she twined their fingers together and led Sylvanas inside, pulling her over to the bed where their bags still lay unpacked. “Undress for me.” She murmured as she reached for the nearest piece of luggage - though her eyes stayed trained on Sylvanas as she pulled her shirt over her head and worked her way out of her pants. The sight of her moving to lay along the bed had her fumbling slightly. For all Velonara’s talking, all Sylvanas had to do to regain the upper hand, was exist, really. Though, ‘exist’ was quite the understatement. She’d rested one of her arms across her own stomach and lifted one of her legs, bending it at the knee to expose herself to her lover just so - watching her all the while. Until she heard the quiet jingle of buckles and shifted her attention to what Velonara produced from their bags. 

“Oh.” She whispered as her eyes trailed over the leather straps and the girth of the toy attached to it. She couldn’t deny the little thrill that ran up her spine. 

“I thought you might like to try it.” Velonara murmured as she placed their bags onto the floor and began undressing, as well. She didn’t look up as she continued speaking - a faint tremor of nerves present in her voice. “Would you?” 

Sylvanas licked her suddenly dry lips and reached down, lifting one of the soft, well-worked pieces of oiled leather as she nodded. “Yeah.” She sounded a bit nervous, too, suddenly, and it drew Velonara to her immediately. Soon, Sylvanas was drowning in the feeling of Velonara’s skin pressed against her own - all warmth and softness everything she missed when she didn’t have it. 

“We don’t have to.” Velonara offered quietly as Sylvanas lifted her legs so her inner thighs brushed against the other woman’s hips. “You know that.” 

“Of course, I do. I want to. Fuck, I want to.” 

Velonara smiled down at her, then, and knelt up between her legs slowly, examining the harness for a moment before she began positioning it where it needed to be, only to find Sylvanas helping her with the various buckles. With a gentle nudge, Velonara had her on her back, again, and was stroking slowly over her thighs. 

“It’s, uh...it’s really…” Sylvanas trailed off as Velonara looked up at her, her face flushed with more than just slight embarrassment. 

“I know it isn’t the most...I don’t know. I promise I’m gonna make you feel good.” 

“I was going to say it was hot...but fuck, so was that.” Sylvanas murmured in response, sighing shakily at the relieved smile that crossed Velonara’s face. To her surprise, instead of moving over her, Velonara lay down along the foot of the bed with her head between her legs and began trailing her lips down one of her thighs. Soon, she was moaning breathlessly and arching from the bed as Velonara’s tongue worked her clit and her fingers spread next to one another inside her as they moved. Her heels were digging into the bed in response to the gentle lapping and the occasional soft sounds of suction. 

A quiet sound of disappointment left Sylvanas when Velonara lifted her head, but she returned the breathless kiss she was offered, regardless, dragging her nails up the other woman’s slender sides and then resting her hands along her lower back. She couldn’t really help but look down between them, following the path Velonara’s hand took between their bodies - but when she tried to lift herself up onto her elbows, Velonara stopped her, pressing her back down and pausing for a moment. “Relax for me.” She whispered against Sylvanas’s flushed cheek - her own quick breaths grazing over Sylvanas’s skin. “And talk to me. Please.” 

Sylvanas nodded her assent and went absolutely still when the tip of the toy began to press against her, a series of shuddering breaths leaving her as pressure eventually turned into a sharp, sudden sting that caused her to lift her hips from the bed, which only served to push Velonara deeper as her mouth fell open. 

“Shh, shh...stay still. Sylvanas, stay still. Just for a little while.” Velonara urged breathlessly, stroking gently over her clit with her thumb until she was finally laying back against the bed, as relaxed as she could manage to be right then. 

She didn’t stop, though. She kept easing the sting with that slow, gentle stimulation until her hips were pressed against the backs of Sylvanas’s thighs and a low, quiet groan met her ears in response. Only then, did she go still and lower herself against the other woman, not caring that she’d trapped her arm between them as Sylvanas dug her fingertips into her sides and kneaded them so hard it hurt. She didn’t care about that, either, though. All she cared about were the soft kisses she was pressing to Sylvanas’s jaw and along her ear. “Is it too much?” She finally asked after giving one of the rings she’d been kissing over a faint tug with her teeth. 

“No.” Sylvanas husked in reply, slowly relaxing her grip on Velonara’s sides and stroking over the marks she knew she’d left there. “It’s so fucking good, Vel. You feel so fucking good.” 

Velonara stroked down Sylvanas’s arm until she was tangling their fingers together and lifting Sylvanas’s hand to press it into the pillow next to her head. “You’re alright?” She continued, adjusting her hips slightly in a way that brought a soft noise to the back of Sylvanas’s throat. 

“Yeah. I’m not gonna break, Vel. Please.” That last word came out as a near-whimper and Velonara pulled her hips back slowly, her face falling against Sylvanas’s shoulder as she pushed back against her, only this time - she didn’t pause. She kept moving in slow, shallow thrusts until quiet, bitten-back whimpers turned to short, breathless moans. 

Sylvanas hadn’t expected it to feel this good. She hadn’t been prepared for the sensation of Velonara’s weight against her and her hips working so gently against her own. Until it wasn’t so gentle anymore. And she liked that, too. 

In fact, she tugged her hand away from Velonara’s to wrap her arms around her tightly - to hold her as close as possible as the slow, rhythmic power behind her movements had them both gasping harshly for each and every breath until she felt Velonara lean to the side slightly and reach between them, turning her arm so that she could find her clit with her fingertips. And, god, when she did. 

Sylvanas threw her head back against the pillows. Her hands trembled against Velonara’s back. Moans turned into low, shuddering groans that she found swallowed, suddenly, by a heated kiss that she did her best to return. 

“What do you need?” Velonara asked against her mouth, somehow finding the wherewithal to form an actual sentence. “I want you to come for me. Tell me what you need.” 

That, alone, almost did it. As it was, it drove Sylvanas so close all she could do was shake her head and try and fail to speak. “Just...d…” Her hands fell to the sheets of the bed, then - gripping them desperately as her back arched away from it. 

Velonara quickly reached up to support her back, pulling her up against herself as she shook in her arms until they both collapsed into the bed. Velonara was as out of breath as Sylvanas, if not more so, and for the longest time, they just stayed that way. Velonara didn’t even attempt to move until Sylvanas’s arms finally began to loosen around her back. Only then, did she pull slowly away from her and hurriedly tug the harness from herself before she came to sit beside her with her back against the wall above the bed. 

As soon as she was settled, Sylvanas turned towards her and draped herself across her lap with a heavy sigh. Velonara smiled and stroked slowly across her back - touching lightly along her shoulder blades and the muscle that stretched across them. “Maybe two weeks is long enough for us to get a few decent meals in us.” She murmured as Sylvanas smiled against her thigh and toyed with the hollow of her hip. 

“We should go hunting tomorrow.” Sylvanas responded, pressing a soft kiss to the place her cheek had been resting against before she finally managed to get herself up, as well, pulling Velonara into her lap so she could look up at her. 

Velonara settled down against Sylvanas’s lap as her touches grew slightly less innocent and she tilted the other woman’s chin up so she could kiss her. “I would love that. Are you okay?” 

“Absolutely.” Sylvanas murmured against her lips before kissing her again. “It was so good, Vel. Did you like it, too?” She asked as Velonara’s lips parted against hers when she pressed a hand between her legs. 

“Can you not tell? Of course I did.” 

Sylvanas was already working at her - following the slow rise and fall of Velonara’s hips against her fingers easily as she grasped her waist with her free hand. “I can. I wanted to hear you say it.” 

Any further conversation would have to wait, though, as Sylvanas brought her to the release her body had been aching for with skilled fingers and soft lips against her own. 

In fact, there wasn’t much talking until quite some time later. When neither woman could move from the pile they’d made of each other - a comfortable tangle of limbs stretched out over the bed that had more space than they’d had to share in months. 

Sylvanas looked down at Velonara’s head on her chest through heavily lidded eyes as she drew her hair away from her face slowly. 

“What?” Velonara murmured, trying and failing to further open eyes that were threatening to betray her. 

“I’m just glad.” Sylvanas whispered, brushing the tip of her nose against her hair. “I’m just glad to be here with you.” 

“Mm. That’s sweet, Sylvanas.” Velonara lost the battle, then, and her eyes finally shut. She did manage to rest her hand over Sylvanas’s chest, though - just to feel her heart beating against her palm.

"I'll Be Here In The Morning"

There's no stronger wind than the one that blows down a lonesome railroad line  
No prettier sight than lookin' back on a town you left behind  
There is nothin' that's as real as a love that's in my mind

Close your eyes  
I'll be here in the morning  
Close your eyes  
I'll be here for a while

Well there's lots of things along the road I'd surely like to see  
I'd like to lean into the wind and tell myself I'm free  
But your softest whisper's louder than the highways call to me

Close your eyes  
I'll be here in the morning  
Close your eyes  
I'll be here for a while

All the mountains and the rivers and the valleys can't compare  
To your blue lit dancin', flashin' eyes and yellow shining hair  
I could never hit the open road and leave you layin' there

Close your eyes  
I'll be here in the morning  
Close your eyes  
I'll be here for a while

Lay your head back easy, love, close your cryin' eyes  
I'll be layin' here beside you when the sun comes on the rise  
I'll stay as long as the cuckoo wails and the lonesome bluejay flies.

Close your eyes  
I'll be here in the morning  
Close your eyes  
I'll be here for a while


	16. Call To War

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Ranger-General.” 

Lireesa lifted her gaze with a faint furrow of her brow and tilted her head slightly. “Lor’themar. Your formality is troubling.” 

“The Rangers we sent.” He continued with furrowed brows - his fist clenched so tightly around his bow that his knuckles were going white as Lireesa laid down her quill slowly and pushed herself to her feet with her hands atop her desk. “They were captured.” 

“There were over a dozen Lor’themar. Some of our best. That isn’t possible. What could have...” Lireesa’s voice was low and dangerous Lor’themar wasn’t sure he’d ever heard before. 

Lor’themar clenched his jaw and turned his attention towards the floor instead of the piercing gaze being leveled at him. “The Orcish Horde. Just past the grasslands. There’s already a rescue party on its way to them. They aren’t lost just yet.” 

“More, then? Our solution is to send more of our Rangers to be captured?” Lireesa’s voice had only grown more measured now as she walked around her desk towards the Captain who had been addressing her. 

“No, General. They are to rendezvous with humans sent by Lord Terenas.” 

Lireesa felt herself bristle physically at the mere mention. “We can’t afford to bolster his ranks.” She responded almost out of habit - her tone causing Lor’themar to wince visibly. “Time and again, that’s what I’ve been told. I could recite the speech in my fucking sleep.”

Lireesa ignored the reaction and turned to look at her desk, her eyes blazing like a clash of cold steel as she pushed her correspondence to the side to reveal the map that was burned into the leather top of it. Her attention darted wildly between Zul’aman and Alterac. Lor’themar stood utterly still as she scrambled through scouting reports she’d only just pushed from her desk. Through letters from Lordaeron long ignored. 

“They won’t.” Lireesa whispered. “The Council.” She turned a look that was a strange mix of fear and fury towards him. “They won’t align.”

Lor’themar nodded. “I know, Lireesa. I don’t know what it would take.” 

Lireesa went quiet, then. Utterly. Lor’themar couldn’t even hear her breathing. In fact - for the longest time - he wasn’t entirely sure she was. 

“Where are my daughters, Lor’themar?” 

“Vereesa is near Silvermoon. Sylvanas is patrolling just past the first gate.” He licked his lips and swallowed thickly. Nervously. “And Alleria is en route to Southshore.” 

Lireesa felt small, suddenly. Perhaps for the first time in her life. She felt...terrified. Not for herself. Never for herself. For her children. For her family. For their people. 

“Send a messenger for Sylvanas. I want her here by morning.” 

“Lireesa...what do you mean to do?” Lor’themar approached the desk carefully as Lireesa moved back around it and lowered herself into her chair. 

“I mean to see her. I mean to see Sylvanas. I mean to...to talk with her for a while. Then I’m going to Silvermoon to address the Council.”

“And then?” Lor’themar asked - his voice scarcely even a whisper. 

Lireesa looked past him, then. She looked at nothing at all, really. Saw nothing. 

“Lireesa?” 

She smiled almost sadly, then, and looked up at him as she spoke. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course. Always. Anything.” Lor’themar sounded earnest. Earnest and intensely concerned. He just wanted to understand. He _needed_ to understand. 

“If anything were to happen to me - would you support her? Would you believe in her and fight for her as you’ve fought for me?” 

“With everything that I am, Lireesa. You know that. You’ve known that for years.” 

Lireesa gathered her thoughts, then - and took in a slow, steadying breath before she stood once more now that she felt the strength return to her legs enough to do so. “You are a good man, Lor’themar.” She reached out and bypassed his hand when he extended it to her - pulling him, instead, into a firm hug. “Send a runner for Sylvanas.” 

He nodded faintly as he wrapped his arms around her for the first time in all the years he’d known her. “Don’t do anything...anything unnecessary, Lireesa. We can’t afford to lose you.” 

“Just get her home to me and don’t worry over little things. Specifics don’t win a war. Nor do specific actions. I am no hero.” 

Lor’themar pulled away slowly and then turned to seek out one of their runners - his brows furrowed as he tried to decipher her words. War. War was an easy one. They were going to war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sylvanas couldn’t imagine what could be so pressing that she’d been pulled from the field in the middle of all that was going on. All she knew, as she reigned her horse into a canter from the gallop she’d been riding at nearly all night was it must have been terrible. That fear had been driving her through the darkness to the Enclave. Chasing and biting at her back like a vicious animal. 

It got no better at the sight of her mother waiting to intercept her on the path. In the grey light that had only just begun to filter through the trees she was almost wraith-like. A figure of stark blackness - the lines of her gear blurring with the lines of her horse. Both of them as black as the night Sylvanas had been running from.

Yet, in this darkness, Sylvanas found comfort. She felt the panic lessen - if only slightly. It was manageable now. Manageable enough, at least. 

She slowed her horse to a walk and then to a stop as Lireesa dismounted and began walking towards her. 

“Mother.” Her voice was softer than she’d expected it to be. Softer than Lireesa remembered hearing it in recent memory. 

Lireesa lifted her arms as Sylvanas drew near and she caught her easily as she all but launched herself into them. Sweat. Leather. Horse. Perhaps even blood. A muddle of scents flooded Lireesa’s nose as she lifted Sylvanas from the ground and the young woman buried her face against the black-feathered pauldron that adorned her shoulder. 

“Thank you for coming so quickly.” Lireesa whispered almost urgently. “Everyone is safe. Vereesa, Alleria, Lirath. Your father. Everyone.”

“Then why?” Sylvanas asked quietly as her mother lowered her back to her feet. “My unit is much slower than me. They’re still a day behind at best. If there is something happening...I don’t know what I could possibly-” 

“I have to go to Silvermoon. Today. To address the council.” Lireesa responded before Sylvanas’s thoughts could run too wild. 

“Why?” Sylvanas asked - her eyes narrowing in a way that showed more thought than any real worry. A desperate need for information. Information that would allow her to assess the situation. It was a look that gave Lireesa more comfort than Sylvanas would ever know. 

“We won’t escape this war, Sylvanas. It’s coming for us whether we like it or not. I have to convince them we’ve no chance of winning it without aid. I need you close. I need you here at the Enclave until I return. Depending upon how it goes with the Council, we will likely have much to discuss.” 

Sylvanas looked around for a moment then as her mother's words began to sink in. She looked at the familiar sight of leaves beginning to show their colors in the sunrise and the carpet of their fallen brethren padding the forest floor. She looked at her mother. At the expression on her face that was strangely unreadable. “You've been trying to press the council into cooperating with the defense efforts of the human kingdom for months, now. What will change their minds this time?” She finally asked once she got the words straight in her tired, anxious mind. 

Lireesa shook her head faintly. Almost sadly. “I pray that the fact that this is no longer about the humans, but about the defense of our own borders and our own lives will be what makes them see reason.” 

“They must know that if what we've heard and what has been reported to us is true, this Horde will raze our kingdom to the ground.” Sylvanas’s voice was steady, somehow. Almost more so than Lireesa’s was.

“They've grown comfortable. Too comfortable. They don't see our few losses here and there as anything out of the ordinary. They believe the trolls are just testing us as they always have and that the orcs will be unwilling to break themselves upon our defenses.”

Sylvanas gripped her bow that much tighter in response. She reached out with her free hand and traced her gloved fingertips along thick black lines of greasepaint beneath her mother's eyes along her cheekbones and across the sharp bridge of her nose - paint that she had heard of her wearing in her younger days - but never seen. “It isn't them that will break, Mother. It is our Rangers. Our people. Us. You are dressed like you already know this.” 

“And you speak like you do.” Lireesa replies simply before lifting both her hands to cradle her daughter’s face in them. “When your unit arrives at the Enclave, have them coordinate with my own. I am only taking two of my closest to Silvermoon with me. Assimilate the rest of them and review my maps and correspondence over the next two days. Be ready upon my return.” 

“Yes, General.” Sylvanas reached for her mother’s hands, then and stroked over them before gripping her wrists. “Do we have a chance?” Her brows were furrowed, suddenly - and her voice low. As though she feared someone might here the burden they shared between themselves.

“Always, Sylvanas. There is always hope. Don't ever forget that. No matter what happens. Never forget, either - that you are that hope. That your leadership and your fearlessness live within the hearts of your Rangers as it will one day live within the hearts of our people.”

“Not too soon, Mother. Not yet.” Sylvanas stepped closer, then, and Lireesa smiled softly at her. 

“As though they don't already see you and know how glorious you will be.” 

“Nothing compared to you.” Sylvanas responded - sounding like she had never been more sure of anything in her life. 

Lireesa ran her hands into her daughter’s hood over her hair before drawing her in for another embrace - this one much gentler than the last. “If we are making comparisons - you are already every bit the woman I have ever been. Even in my prime. If not more.”

“Mm. Perhaps. Unfortunately, I’ve also gotten your height.” Sylvanas pulled back and gave her mother her best attempt at a smile, sensing she might appreciate it. That she might need it. By the relief that was present on Lireesa’s face when she pulled back again, she’d been right.

“The smaller the Ranger, the better.” Lireesa replied with an almost-grin. 

Sylvanas returned that grin. It was so good to see. It had just been so incredibly long since her mother had had much of a reason to smile. The storm had been brewing over their heads for so long, now. “Safe travels, then, to Silvermoon. We’ll talk when you get back?” 

Lireesa nodded and pulled herself up into her saddle. Her gaze lingered on her daughter for so long, Sylvanas had a diffictult time turning to her own mount. “Go on, Sylvanas. Let them feed you. Rest. While you have the chance.”

Sylvanas finally tugged herself up onto her own horse and sidled him up to her mother’s. “Will you see Elenia while you’re there?” She asked quietly, reaching out to take her mother’s hand in her own from where it had been resting on her knee. 

“I will, yes.” Lireesa waited, then, for Sylvanas to continue. 

“Tell her I asked after her. Tell her to take care of herself and that we will do our best out here to keep this from ever reaching her.” 

Lireesa’s brows furrowed as she felt the ache that had been settled into her chest for weeks, now work its way even deeper. She didn’t know what to say for a moment - and that was rare for her. As rare as the feeling of discomfort in her throat. “I will.” Her voice was so vulnerable that Sylvanas gave her hand a firm squeeze. “Two days. I’ll see you in two days.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rise for your King.” The guard didn’t even look around the room as he spoke. He simply moved to the edge of the council chamber as Anasterian made his entrance. 

Lireesa stood stock still near the table - one ranger flanking each of her sides. Just slightly behind. Women she had known so long she’d lost count of the years. Women who knew the significance of this audience as well as she did. 

“Ranger-General.” Anasterian greeted her with a faint smile. “How fare you?” 

He was the only one on the council who seemed like she hadn’t ruined his day by seeking audience with them. 

“We’ve no time for pleasantries, my King.” She responded immediately. “The Horde threat is not going to wait for us to have tea before we speak.” 

He sighed heavily and clenched his jaw for a moment, eyes darting to the side as one of the other council members spoke. “We’ve been over this, General. You’ve even sent your own daughter to aid the humans against our better judgement. We are no longer beholden to them.”

“This isn’t about the humans any longer, councilman.” Lireesa responded, seemingly unshaken by the response she’d received thus far. “Unless you are referring to the aid they are offering us.” 

“You suggest we would need help from their kind to hold borders that we’ve held with little effort for longer than I, myself, can remember?” 

“Little effort?” Lireesa responded with a lift of her brow as she shifted where she stood and rolled one of her shoulders beneath a black pauldron. 

“The trolls grow brazen. The Orcs get closer every day. They’ve captured the unit you requested I send to investigate the validity of their threat. Even now, they are imprisoned near Tarren Mill. The humans would rendezvous with the Rangers we have sent to liberate them. I can assure you, councilmen, that this threat is very real. And it is coming. A threat greater than we, alone, can overcome.” 

The same councilman scoffed too quickly to have actually considered her words. “Lireesa,-”

“Ranger-General.” The Captain to her left corrected none-too-gently. 

With a heavy sigh, he began again. “Ranger-General, there is no threat our magic cannot overcome. You worry over nothing. The losses you have reported over the past weeks have been free of anyone of substantial rank. They could be chalked up to inexperience quite easily.”

“Substantial rank?” There was venom in Lireesa’s voice, now. “A Ranger is a Ranger, councilman. How dare you insinuate-”

“Enough.” Anasterian’s eyes burned into the councilman that had spoken so brashly. “True enough, the losses have been par for the course. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I will not allow anyone to insinuate a single one of our people is less important than the next one.” 

With the councilman properly chastised, he looked back to Lireesa. Lireesa, whose steel-grey eyes glowed with silver fury into his own blue ones. Lireesa, who looked like she’d just marched in from a battlefield, herself. “I understand and appreciate your concerns, General. Unfortunately, I simply can’t allow our people to be indebted to the humans once again. A debt that was only just repaid.”

The room felt so still to her, suddenly. She didn’t even feel the hand resting against her back. The hand of a fellow Ranger. A friend. 

“What would it take, then, Council?” She asked - addressing them all at once. “For you to realize that this Kingdom is going to war with or without you?” 

“An actual act of war might be a good start.” Another councilman from the end of the table responded. 

“Is that it then, my _King_? You would trust the words of your soft-assed Council over the words of the General who has kept this kingdom safe decade upon decade? You would trust the words of men who have never seen war? Battle? Who have never wondered if it was their own blood or the blood of an enemy soaking into their armor?” 

She didn’t wait for a response. She turned towards the doors of the chamber in response to the gaping stares directed in her direction. She ignored the looks of sympathy from the guards that lined the walls of the room. By the time she made it outside, her fingertips were numb and her hands were trembling as her jaw remained clenched so tightly it hurt. 

Another hand on her back. The same Ranger. “Lireesa.” The voice was soft. Coaxing. 

“They want an act of war.” Lireesa breathed, gathering every ounce of self-control she had and turning her eyes towards the sky. “Something to make them see. To understand.”

The Ranger held Lireesa’s gaze as it was turned towards her. “Would you give them one with me?” She looked at the second woman, turning slowly to face them both. 

“Anything for Quel’Thalas. For our people. For you.” 

The second woman nodded. “What, then, is our next course of action?” 

“Enjoy a night in Silvermoon as I will.” Lireesa responded, though there was no hint in her voice that she would be enjoying it. No hint in her voice that there was any joy to be had at all. Certainly not in the way it shook slightly. 

“In two days’ time, they will have their act. I can give this to them on my own, of course. I would have no ill will towards either of you.” 

Without hesitation, two heads shook. “No, Lireesa. Where you go, I go. So it has been - so it will be.” With a steely expression, the second woman nodded her agreement. 

For the first time in a while, the rushing in Lireesa’s ears stopped. A calm came over her. “Until tomorrow morning, then.” She clasped each of their arms tightly in turn as they bid farewell similarly. 

It wasn’t often the people of Silvermoon saw their General in all her dark regalia walking through their streets. Those whose paths she crossed even paused for a moment. People who might normally have greeted her simply looked on as she walked past with her hand on the pommel of her sword. 

Were the rumors true, then? 

A thought on the mind of every person who saw her. 

She recognized those looks. Those emotions.

Good. Perhaps they would hold their children that much tighter, tonight. Perhaps they would appreciate the warmth they would find in the arms of their lovers that much more. 

Yet, the closer she got to the bakery - the less surprised those she crossed paths with seemed. The less wealth that surrounded her, the more she began to realize not every citizen of Silvermoon had the luxury of ignoring what was coming. 

The look on Elenia’s face as she stepped into the doorway of her bakery in response to murmurs outside of the General’s presence told her as much. Fear. Oh, she looked so scared. 

Only this fear...the fear on her beloved’s usually serene face...it was all for her. Lireesa could see that even yards away. The thought of lying to Elenia - of soothing her with words that meant nothing - didn’t even cross her mind as people parted to let her cross the distance that separated them. 

Only the thought of holding her closer. Of appreciating the warmth of her arms. Of making her know, unequivocally, if there ever was a question - that she was loved.

 

"Call To War"  
The Lone Bellow  
Tables prepared in streets of gold  
You've bared your tears from starry stone  
The stage is set so we can fly  
But suns will set and hearts are wild

'Til the southern wind puts me 6 feet down  
My feet won't rest 'til my love is found

Remember when the mountains fell  
Like pennies down a wishing well?  
Wish another day would come  
When I would watch 'em far from home

'Til the southern wind puts me 6 feet down  
My feet will march on holy ground

Our laborin' may end in pain  
While we walk the fields of the same  
When called to war from trumpets tall  
Love will see the army's fall  
When called to war from trumpets tall  
Love will see the army's fall

 


	17. Keep Me In Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Redisaid for use of her girl, Illeryn. Goodest old school Ranger girl. 
> 
> This chapter and going forward, things will be pretty heavy. <3

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“I know it isn't time for you to close your doors, Elenia.” Lireesa's voice betrayed her. It was heavy with the emotion she could not, for the life of her, suppress. 

Elle shook her head as she extinguished the mage lights outside her door and then shut it, reaching for Lireesa as soon as she had. She pulled her close without regard for the beauty of the armor and the flour on her apron. “Tell me it isn't true.” Elenia’s voice was a whisper as soft leather gloves came to rest on her back. 

Lireesa stared over her shoulder at the wall across the room as her heart raced in the cage of her chest. “I would do anything for you, Elenia. But I would not lie.”

Elle couldn't move for the longest time. It was all she could do just to breathe. Just to exist. “What did the council say?”

Lireesa pulled back and lifted Elle’s chin gently, brushing her thumb along her jaw and drawing in a breath that was as steadying as possible right then. “Let's go upstairs, all right?”

Elenia felt her heart in her throat as she followed Lireesa up, resting a hand on her lower back as she always did. As she always had. Until Lireesa moved her to sit on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of her to rest her hands on her knees. “They won't ally with the humans.” Lireesa began quietly as Elenia reached out to trace the lines of kohl-black paint that adorned her face. “They don't see the threat as something substantial enough to require aid.”

Elenia nodded weakly and swallowed a few times just to make sure her throat worked well enough to speak. “When-” Her voice broke. Betrayed her. 

She cleared her throat quietly. 

“When do you march?”

“Two days time.” 

“And you're coming back to me.”

Silence. And in that silence, Elenia leaned over Lireesa and found the General pressing her face against her chest. 

“Lireesa, please.” Elenia whispered, stroking over her hair. Hair that had far too many silver strands for the woman it belonged to to march into battle with any hope of victory. “Sylvanas…”

“Is not a sacrifice I will ever be willing to make.” Lireesa murmured. 

“I know. I know. I'm sorry.” Elle was cradling Lireesa’s head against her chest, now. “I can't.” She gasped out. “I can't.” The second statement was joined by a quiet, broken sob that caused Lireesa to kneel higher and cradle her face, stroking her tears away even as her own were barely held at bay. 

“You can, Elenia. You knew. You had to know.”

Elenia shook her head and pushed Lireesa’s hands away, moving from the bed and past her so quickly she had to catch herself lest she fall. She found her footing quickly and followed, catching up with her just before she reached the door and wrapping a hand around her arm firmly. 

“Let me go, Lireesa.” The pain in her voice was thick. Palpable. “I won't...I won't sit here and let you explain to me your reasoning for giving yourself a death sentence. I won't sit here and listen to you explain to me why I'm to lose you so that you can be a hero.” 

Lireesa let her go, then. “I am no hero.” She whispered. “I'm just a woman like any other. A woman who is fortunate enough that her sacrifice might save an entire kingdom.” 

There it was, then. The truth. Unavoidable. Ugly. Yet it stopped Elenia in her tracks. It made her wonder a million things. Mostly, she wondered if Lireesa was scared. That thought, somehow, was the worst of them. 

Elenia turned and rested her hands along either side of the smaller woman's neck. “You'll stay the night, then?” She asked as she did her best to smile, though her eyes still glistened and burned. 

“I'm sorry.” Came Lireesa’s response to a question that hasn't even been asked. “I'm so sorry.” 

Elenia shook her head and cradled Lireesa’s cheek in her hand. “I always knew, somehow. I always knew I wouldn't have you forever. You've always been...more than what you think you are. Larger than this. Than you. Than us. I'm just not certain I can’t...I can’t do this without you, Lireesa. I have loved you and only you for so long. If there is any other way…”

“If there is any other way, I will find it. But you must know I have already looked. That I've explored every avenue.”

Elenia steadied herself. She pushed the despair that threatened to engulf her away. “Of course.” She pressed a kiss to the corner of Lireesa’s mouth. “Have you eaten?”

It was the familiarity of that question that finally broke Lireesa. That finally had her returning that kiss almost desperately and tugging at the knot of Elenia’s apron in frustration. “Please.” Lireesa gasped out against the side of her neck as her hands began to tremble. “And then I'll eat. But, please. I need you right now. Gods, help me - I need you.”

Elenia found the knot that Lireesa was struggling with and untied it quickly, discarding her apron on the floor before she helped Lireesa remove the gloves that had made it difficult in the first place. Once those were done away with, it was a quiet trip to the bed. Armor and old, soft work clothing discarded haphazardly along the way until they all but fell into each other. 

At first, Lireesa just pulled Elenia’s hands up against the bed on either side of her head, twining their fingers together as she kissed her deeply. Branding her as thoroughly as ever she had while her hard body came to rest against the contrasting softness beneath it. 

Oh, she craved that softness, now. The way it yielded to her rough hands as she caressed curves she had learned long ago and would never forget. Elenia touched her, too. Everywhere she could reach. She stroked over and grasped every bit of skin she could get her hands on. She found the tie holding up raven hair and released it so she could feel it slide over her skin as Lireesa moved down her body, leaving bruising marks in her wake. Something she almost never did. They were everywhere, little reddening ovals along her stomach and her thighs. Elenia was hers. Elenia wanted them. She wanted each and every reminder of that fact. 

Her mouth was almost too rough at first when Lireesa finally made her way between her legs. Just short of too eager. It took every amount of self control Elenia had not to pull away from the hungry intensity of it. When she came, it was with a sob. With a desperate tug against Lireesa's hair to pull her closer. She needn't have tried. Lireesa was pressing every bit of herself that she could as near as she could get. She was dragging in rasping, desperate breaths in the safety of the crook of her neck. 

And Lireesa was shaking.

Shaking as angry, bitter sobs made their damnable way through her clenched teeth. Elenia twined their legs together and wrapped her arms tightly around Lireesa’s back, feeling the smallness of her in her arms. Smallness that was only driven further home by how utterly helpless she was to keep her safe.

Elenia just wanted to make it better. She needed to more desperately than she needed air. That was the predominant thought in her mind as she turned them over in bed and began kissing her neck, murmuring into her ear all the promises she had ever made. Promises of love and devotion and care that she had never broken. That she never would. At the same time, her hands stroked across the General’s chest and down her sides. They worked with her breaths until they slowed into something less frantic, then moved to her thighs, where she trailed the lightest of touches. 

“Do you know, my love, how beautiful you are?” She asked softly against the older woman’s temple before kissing it. “How you put the stars in the sky to shame with your brilliance? How your eyes hold within them the warmth of the thousand fires that it took to forge their cold steel?” 

Lireesa found herself lost in those words. In the low, gentle murmur of her voice and the ghosting of lips against her ear. She found her body relaxing beneath the welcomed weight of Elenia’s body and the soothing, knowing touches of her hands. 

“I love you, Lireesa.” Elenia whispered those words, now, into the flushed skin of her cheek. Burning them there. Leaving their truth in her wake.

“And I you.” Lireesa breathed as she found peace in that. Peace that she needed terribly right now. 

Where Lireesa’s touches had been hard and full of desperation, Elenia sought only to draw Lireesa further into that feeling. She grazed her slowly with the backs of her knuckles and held her gaze with her own, the deep welcoming blue of her eyes drawing Lireesa in. There was such devotion there. Such patience. Patience that came with countless years of love and care. 

Even as she could feel her own mortality breathing at the nape of her neck, Elenia chased the beast away with her hand - lifting her head and kissing her. A lingering, shallow kiss that took all of Lireesa's attention until she was parting her with the hand that had been stroking against her slowly. Then, she was pressing into her and relishing the feeling of the older woman’s gasps against her lips. 

For a long time, she succeeded. She kept the fear and the burdens of the outside world from Lireesa. When it threatened, again, to crush her - she held it all at bay with her hands. With her lips. With the softest truths written time and again against her skin.

She didn't stop until Lireesa was too exhausted to allow those worries to take hold. She didn't stop until her eyelids were drooping shut and she could do little else but murmur her lover’s name and request, with her body instead of her words, that she be held.

And there, in Elenia’s arms, she slept. Yet, Elenia couldn't. She couldn't stop her gaze from wandering over the delicate lines beside Lireesa's lips and eyes that had come slowly over the years they'd spent together. She couldn't stop stroking through hair that had once been as black and velvety as the sky was now, outside these rooms. Yet, the silver that threaded through it was more akin to the constellations in that sky than to any sign of aging. More like reflections of the moon against a still body of water. 

It was a night of lost sleep that she would never regret. Every time Lireesa grew restless, she was there to soothe her with gentle touches and murmurs. She was there to move the blankets back over her against the subtle chill of the night. She didn’t miss a single breath. A single flutter of lashes that revealed slivers of shining silver that would land on her without even having to seek her out before disappearing again. 

The hours passed so quickly. They slipped through her fingers like sand. As grey light began to filter in through the window, her own eyes finally shut for longer than a blink. 

Just long enough for her to miss Lireesa waking. Her eyes opened to the feeling of calloused fingertips stroking along her cheek. 

Elenia met that gaze in the silence they shared. There was no longer any fear there. But there was love. So much that she could scarcely breathe beneath the weight of it. She had never been so glad to feel her lungs aching. 

“Can you do that again?” Elenia asked quietly. 

“Can I do what, my love?”

“Can you wake up again?” 

Lireesa’s already soft expression grew even warmer as her brows furrowed and she drew Elenia in for a gentle kiss. “I would wake for you a thousand thousand times, Elenia. If only I could.” 

“I know.” The other woman’s response was barely audible. In the quiet, they kissed again. Almost every chance they had, that morning, their lips met. As Elenia washed the streaks of black from her face in the bath they shared. In between the bites of breakfast that neither of them tasted, much less saw. They were far too busy looking at each other. 

Sand in an hourglass. Only an hourglass that had shattered. That no longer told time. That only bled its contents out of Elenia’s reach. Every hour felt like a fraction of a second. Elle could feel the rushing of it all in the very core of her being. She dressed Lireesa in her armor slowly, and Lireesa only stood still for her. Only touched her gently each time she faltered. 

The steps down towards the door of the bakery were the most painful Elenia had ever taken. Her hand was still pressed to Lireesa’s back as she walked behind her. At the bottom of them, though, Lireesa turned. She drew the other woman into her arms and pressed as close to her as she could manage. When she pulled back, she found Elenia’s hand coming up to cradle her cheek.

“Watch them for me.” Lireesa whispered as she turned her face towards Elenia’s palm. “Watch them grow. Watch them become more than I ever was. Remind them that I love them when you can. I'll be watching with you. For as long as you draw breath, Elenia, I'll be with you. Every day. The sheets against your skin. The warmth of the sun on your face and in your hair.” 

A pained expression crossed the younger woman’s face. Her teeth clenched and she shook her head. “I will.” She whispered, despite it all. “I’ll tell them.” 

“Tell Sylvanas that I knew she was ready.” Lireesa breathed as she pulled Elenia’s head against her shoulder and held the back of it, having to shut her eyes against the sight of her ears pressing back against her skull. “Tell her that I knew for a long time. That I’m so sorry. That I would have said goodbye if I knew...if I knew she wouldn’t have done something stupid.” 

Elenia choked back a sob. Not right now. Gods, not right now. 

She nodded.

“Tell her that I love her so. More than myself. More than Quel’Thalas. Tell her that every time I have said ‘our people’ what I really meant was her. Tell her that I am so, so proud to be her mother. That it has been my life’s greatest honor.” 

Elenia nodded again and drew Lireesa’s cloak into her fists, balling it in them and tugging at it to keep her close. 

“Tell Alleria that things are as they were always meant to be. Tell her that she is brave and fierce and free and that she should never change. And that I love her. Lirath...tell him that it was his voice in my memories that soothed me to sleep every night that I spent away from him. Tell him to never stop singing. And that I love him. Oh, I love him.”

“I know.” Elle whispered, pressing her lips against Lireesa’s jaw just beneath her ear. “I know, my beautiful one.” 

As if that kiss and those words had bolstered her, somehow - Lireesa managed to continue. “And Vereesa.” Lireesa jerked physically in Elenia’s arms, then. At the mere mention of her name. She was too young. She was too young to understand this. “When she’s ready.” 

Elenia drew in a sharp breath. “When she’s ready, Lireesa. You have my word.” 

Lireesa nodded. “When she’s ready, tell her that from the moment she first picked up a bow, my heart hasn’t stopped smiling. That when I first held her in my arms, she looked into my eyes and didn’t cry. She was content to just be. She is no less important than her sisters or her brother. She will be a great woman. A great Ranger. And I _love her_.”

Elenia wasn’t sure which of them was holding the other up. Perhaps they both were. Like a bridge - each stone reliant on the next lest it all wash away. 

Lireesa let out a shuddering breath as she pulled back and reached for Elenia, holding her face in the soft leather palms of her gloves. “And you.” She began, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. No more. No more, now. “You are the love of my life. More than the mate of my soul. More than my heart. The might of this kingdom rests not with me. It has always, always been here. With you. In this bakery. In that little loft. My strength has come from your love. I have lived through hurts insurmountable only to return to you.” 

Lireesa caught her chin as it began to fall and captured her lips in a kiss. “Don’t.” Lireesa whispered. “Hold your head high, always. My heart beats for you. My arrows fly for you. And you have kept me so, so well. You have made me a better mother...a better General...for so very long. If ever you hear someone speak to my greatness, know with no uncertainty that they are speaking of you and not of me.” 

When Lireesa pulled back, Elenia leaned in to kiss her again. To try harder. To kiss her better. And as she pulled away, she rested her hand against Lireesa’s chest only to find it covered by the other woman’s, who guided it over her heart. “For you.” She breathed, slowly stroking along Elenia’s wrist. “Forever. Long after I’m gone.” 

Elenia tried. She tried so hard to stay strong. But there was only so much strength left in her. 

“Don’t go. Lireesa, please. Don’t go.” 

“All the best of me stays right here.” Lireesa responded, her brows furrowed and her ears lifted slightly in her earnestness. “Right here with you, and wherever else you may go. Do you believe me?”

“I always believe you.” Elenia replied with a weak sound that could have been a laugh as easily as it could have been a sob. 

Once more, Lireesa wrapped her arms around her, and found herself embraced in turn. “Believe me this time as you never have before, then. Believe me harder.”

“I do.” Elenia whispered, breathing in slowly against her hair just to smell her. 

“I love you.” Lireesa breathed, feeling a sudden measure of calm wash over her as Elenia’s hands stopped trembling against her back and she seemed to steady herself.

“I love you, too.” 

There were no goodbyes. A lingering touch here and there as they moved towards the door, though. A last kiss. Shallow, soft and slow. 

“I’ll see you again, Elenia.” Lireesa murmured as she pulled away one last time, her hand resting on the edge of the door. “I will.” 

“Until then.” Elenia smiled as she clasped Lireesa’s hand in her own that much tighter. And then she let go as Lireesa began to turn. 

As she walked away, Lireesa turned once more to look - to find Elenia where she still stood in the doorway. To lift her hand and see the other woman lift her own in turn. To smile. As if that smile could thank her for everything she had done. Everything she had been. 

Lireesa made it just beyond the edge of the city when she began to stumble. When she forced herself off the path and into the trees and emptied the contents of her stomach into the grass. She didn’t even hear the footsteps of her officers approaching. She just felt herself being pulled carefully from the ground. 

“You gave everything that any of us can.” One of the women murmured as Lireesa’s head hung weakly. Illeryn.

“And more.” Eldana, the younger of the two continued for her. 

“And taken all of it away from her.” Lireesa whispered bitterly. “From all of them.” 

“No.” Illeryn whispered, clenching her teeth and moving to grasp Lireesa’s shoulders. “You protect what you’ve given them. You leave them with all of it, and you keep them safe and alive and breathing while you give until your very last breath. Then you give that, too. No. You’ve taken nothing from them. But you will give them everything. As always.” 

Lireesa lifted her head, then. She gripped both of their forearms in her hands and licked her dry lips. “Forgive me, sisters.”

They both sighed softly and each pressed their forehead against Lireesa’s in turn. “There is nothing to forgive, General. It is okay to show that you are, in fact, a mere mortal like the rest of us. Once every century or so, you know.” 

Lireesa cast a genuine smile in Illeryn’s direction in response to that and clasped her shoulder as they walked. 

She was thankful when Eldana passed her waterskin over so she could wash the terrible taste from her mouth.

But she was even more thankful for their company.

 

"Keep Me In Your Heart"

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath  
Keep me in your heart for a while

If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less  
Keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun  
Keep me in your heart for a while

There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done  
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo  
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo  
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things  
around the house  
Maybe you'll think of me and smile

You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on  
your blouse  
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams  
Touch me as I fall into view  
When the winter comes keep the fires lit  
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream  
Keep me in your heart for a while

These wheels keep turning but they're running out  
of steam  
Keep me in your heart for a while

 


	18. Ribbon

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Are you scared?” Sylvanas asked quietly against Velonara’s lips as she felt the other woman’s fingertips tracing the lines of her hips beneath their field blanket. 

“Only for you.” Velonara breathed in response, trailing one of her hands over Sylvanas’s strong, slender side to follow the line of her spine down to her lower back. “Always only for you.” 

Sylvanas kissed Velonara again, parting her lips with her own in the darkness of their tent and just barely tracing her teeth with the tip of her tongue. “Don’t be scared for me.” She finally whispered, gasping quietly as Velonara found her breast in the warmth of her palm and traced around her nipple with the tips of her fingers. 

“Are you scared for me?” Velonara asked in reply, sliding one of her legs beneath her lover’s to part them and support them. She smiled as Sylvanas’s stomach drew inward beneath the slow downward journey the back of her hand took. 

“Of course, I am.” 

“Then let me place my own concern where I see fit.” Velonara nipped Sylvanas’s lower lip gently, them, as if to hamper her ability to argue. It seemed, though, that Sylvanas didn’t have much fight left in her. At least not tonight. 

She was gasping quietly into the crook of Velonara’s neck soon enough, pressing closer to her as her hips rocked softly against her hand. Velonara’s touches were slow and languid. Easy to follow with little effort on Sylvanas’s part, and the hand not currently working between her legs was cradling the back of her head. 

Sylvanas came with a quiet, choked sound that cut off just at the back of her throat - one hand grasping at the bedroll beneath them and the other reaching quickly for Velonara’s wrist as she began to withdraw from her slowly. 

“We’re going to be okay.” Velonara whispered against Sylvanas’s ear a bit breathlessly. 

Sylvanas ran her thumb along Velonara’s wrist as she pulled away and rolled her onto her back while their legs were still twined together. “I only need you to be okay.” Sylvanas caught and held Velonara’s gaze when she spoke, still trying to catch her breath. “That’s all I need.”

Velonara nodded, glancing between them as she felt Sylvanas shifting so she could rest her hips between her legs. “I will be, Sylvanas.” 

This time, when Sylvanas kissed her, the fire that had been smoldering warmly between them seemed to catch. Seemed to blaze with every touch of Sylvanas’s lips against her skin once the kiss broke into something more. Gentle bites and nails trailing down her stomach. Hands parting her thighs and kneading them as Sylvanas nuzzled, for a moment, between her legs. 

“I want to taste you, Velonara.” Sylvanas husked quietly into the crook of her thigh, letting the warmth of her cheek rest against Velonara’s leg as she looked up at her. 

Velonara reached down immediately and brushed her fingertips across Sylvanas’s lips and along her face towards her ear. “Are you asking my permission, Captain?” She asked with an almost-smile playing at the corners of her lips. 

“No.” Sylvanas replied with a smile of her own. “I just like the way my own voice sounds against your skin.” 

“Perhaps it's best you start tasting. I might perish if you keep talking like that.” Velonara was smirking now, but Sylvanas didn’t mind the little jab. She certainly didn’t mind the genuine look of adoration that came along with it, either. 

It was gone too quickly when she used her lips and her tongue to part warm, sensitive flesh. This, too, was slow. Sylvanas savored the hushed gasps and the pleasant sting Velonara’s grip on her hair caused in her scalp. Sylvanas allowed her warm breaths to join her tongue against Velonara’s clit as she stroked over it slowly. 

“You are...far too good with your tongue.” Velonara whispered as her other hand joined the first only to touch gently along one of Sylvanas’s ears, brushing the golden rings adorning it with her thumb. 

For once, Sylvanas didn’t have anything to say in response. Or, if she did, she kept it to herself and kept her head down. This was, perhaps, the only time she found holding her tongue an easy task. When it was on Velonara. 

Velonara, who just enjoyed the sight of her lover between her legs as the easiness of it all allowed her to. Every gentle roll of Sylvanas’s tongue against her was a soft affirmation that, yes, they would both worry. That yes, they were okay. They had this. They had each other. Even as war loomed over them - in the fragile shelter of their tent, there was safety. 

In that safety, Velonara whispered Sylvanas’s name in the sweetest ways as she came, her stomach tensing and jumping beneath her lover’s hand as it came to rest against it to feel just that. 

Both more than sated, and more than tired - they got as dressed as they could be bothered to, helping each other in the dark until they were nestled within the blanket of surety they’d woven for themselves. Velonara was just thankful Sylvanas seemed content to rest before battle for once. She, herself, was more than ready for sleep. 

“What do you suppose you’ll dream of tonight?” Velonara asked as she turned her head towards where Sylvanas’s rested against her shoulder. 

“I dream only of you.” Sylvanas breathed easily. These were words they’d both spoken before. Many times. Under the stars, in tents, in the comfort of Sylvanas’s bed in Windrunner Spire. 

“We dream the same dream, then, dalah’surfal.” 

Soft, pretty lies they both needed to say. To hear. 

Sylvanas dreamt only of blood. Of steel against steel and of the sound of arrows burying themselves thickly and deeply in living flesh. Dreams that would, eventually, rouse her into an unshakeable feeling of uneasiness. Dreams that would push her, half-dressed, out of their tent quietly and towards the fire that still burned stubbornly outside, nearby. 

Sylvanas had been staring into the flames silently for what felt like years. She'd only slept a few hours, at most, and had woken to find her mother and her personal officers conversing quietly at the edge of camp. She wouldn't interrupt them. Out here, Lireesa was her general, and she was her Captain. 

Yet, as she heard quiet footsteps and felt the familiarity of Velonara’s touch against her shoulder, her mother glanced in her direction and smiled.

“You're underdressed.” Velonara said quietly as she wrapped a blanket around Sylvanas’s bare shoulders, covering them along with the simple, sleeveless undershirt she wore. This far out, the chill of changing seasons bit into their borders cruelly. It was troubling to see Sylvanas not even shivering against it. 

“I'm restless.” Sylvanas whispered as Velonara moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I know. I woke when you woke.” Velonara responded. “And gave you as much time as I could stand to. You've fought many times before this...” Velonara offered quietly. 

“It feels different this time.” Sylvanas continued as her ears sank even further than they already had. “Everything does.”

“A war is, I suppose, different than a battle. There is no promise of finality to it. That must be what's troubling you.” Velonara looked over at Sylvanas, then and reached to turn the other woman's head with a feather-light touch to her jaw so she could look into her eyes. 

“I wish that were the case.” Sylvanas said, though she leaned in to kiss Velonara lightly. 

Velonara didn't have any additional words of wisdom. She felt it, too. All she could do was wrap her arm around Sylvanas a little more tightly. Warm her just a little more.

“How long have they been that way?” Illeryn asked as Lireesa finally managed to turn her attention away from the scene at the campfire in the distance. 

“Since they were too young to realize it.” Lireesa replied, clearing her throat and checking the leather straps that held her gauntlets in place once again. 

“That's good.” Illeryn murmured with a firm nod. “She'll need that.”

“She will.” Lireesa replied simply. “And she'll have it.” 

“Is it time?” Eldana asked, her voice as steady and even as both of the other women's had been all morning. 

Lireesa took a deep breath and offered her a small smile. “It is.” She replied. “I'll be back.”

The two officers watched as Lireesa walked towards her daughter, but they turned away when Sylvanas looked up at her. As close as they were, this was for Lireesa. She deserved this moment, for whatever it would be worth.

“Velonara.” Lireesa greeted her warmly, smiling at her and reaching to clasp the arm the young woman offered her as she stood.

“Ranger-General.”

“Thank you for taking care of my stubborn icicle of a daughter.”

Velonara laughed quietly. “Always, General.”

“You look well. Stay well. May I have a moment with her?”

“Of course.” Velonara bowed her head and retreated back into her tent as Sylvanas stood. 

“General?”

Lireesa watched as Sylvanas’s demeanor shifted. As her ears lifted into a neutral position and she stood at loose attention beneath her blanket. That had taken years of practice. It was no easy thing to control ones ears. Even bundled as Sylvanas was, she had a certain air about her. 

“Illeryn, Eldana and I will scout ahead this morning. Have my unit and your own ready at dawn. They are aware that you will be giving their marching orders.” 

“General, we have runners more suited to-”

“We draw too near to our enemies for me to not see certain things with my own eyes.”

“Of course, General.” 

Lireesa’s jaw was tight. Her shoulders and her back ached terribly from tension. From riding. From all of this. Yet, in the worst possible moment, it was something in her eyes that betrayed her. Something she hadn't meant for Sylvanas to see.

“Mother…?”

Lireesa reached out for her immediately in response to the soft, questioning tone and held the back of her head in her gloved palm. “I am only proud. I only wish that you fight well when we meet again in the morning.”

“I will. You have my word.” 

Lireesa pulled her closer, then, and rested their foreheads together. “See that you do, my daughter.”

With that, Lireesa released Sylvanas and stepped back while she still possessed the fortitude to do so. 

“Stay well, Mother. Until the morning.”

“And you, my moonlight. Until then.” 

A thousand things ran rampant through Lireesa's head as she walked away, back towards the edge of camp. A cool breeze washed, suddenly, across the clearing as she neared her Rangers and they turned to face her. The breeze was fresh and invigorating and it caught the black feathers adorning her shoulders in a way that made her look almost ethereal. In a way that would have washed any doubt from Illeryn and Eldana’s minds had there been any. But there hadn't.

Silently, they mounted as one and rode into the darkness of the tree line until they were well out of sight. Only then did Lireesa pull her horse to a slow stop as Sylvanas’s voice carried even here. 

Her orders were clear and concise. They cut through the air like a finely honed blade as if there was some sort of magic about her voice. But there wasn't. 

“She's going to be a fine General.” Illeryn remarked as she pulled her horse to sidle up to Lireesa's.

“She is.” Lireesa responded before pressing on, riding in the middle of the two Rangers accompanying her. “It’s not too late for the two of you to turn back, you know.” That offer came easily. Without the faintest hint of apprehension. 

“And live to see another war? Die trying to fight in it? Be a liability for the young ones?” Eldana asked, smiling softly as she turned her attention to Lireesa while they rode. “You would rob a fellow former mercenary of her well-earned rest, General? And what of you? You could just as easily turn back. As could Illeryn. The death of a senior officer might bring the council closer to usefulness.”

“Speak for yourself,” Illeryn said dryly from Lireesa’s other side. “I made my peace long before we came to this decision. I’m not turning this horse around.” 

Lireesa nodded and leaned back slightly in her saddle with a quiet, tired sigh. “We all made up our minds before this ride, I think. This is not something any of them will be able to ignore. The loss of the Ranger-General is...well. There aren’t many ways to interpret it, really. No pushing that under the rug. Both our council and our people will know, unequivocally, that this is war and that it is very real.”

Lireesa paused for a moment, then, and collected her thoughts as both Illeryn and Eldana waited in the oddly comfortable silence. 

“I could continue on. We all could. We could fight this war until it took us, as it likely would. The Rangers would be scrambling in the middle of it all after my death. Sylvanas would scarcely have a chance to reign it in, if she ever managed to. And it would be too late, then, anyway. The help needs to come now. Not later. No, this is the only decision for me. For our people. For her.” 

They were quiet for a long while, then. No argument there. Just the calm stillness of agreement. Acceptance.

Until, at least, the smell of acrid smoke began to burn their noses as they breathed. Elves knew what woods to burn. How hot to let their fires get to avoid such telltale signs of their presence. These weren’t Elven fires.

It was then that Lireesa dismounted, joined swiftly and silently by her counterparts - who checked their bows as she unclasped her cloak only to drape it over the saddle she’d just left. She reached to her back for Thas’dorah and held the grip of her in her palm for a moment before strapping the ancient weapon just behind her horse’s saddle.

She pulled the animal’s head down gently and ran a hand along his neck before she spoke quietly. “Stay. Wait for her.” 

He whickered softly in response and nudged her shoulder with his nose. “Thank you.”

A hoof scraped against the forest floor. Restless. Agitated. But he stayed. He would wait. Lireesa knew he would. 

The other horses, too, seemed content to wait with him, and Lireesa unsheathed her blades as they began walking again. 

“It's been an honor, Lireesa, to serve you.” Illeryn said as she drew an arrow and steeled herself. They could hear the sounds of their enemies waking in their camp. It wouldn't be long, now. 

“There is no other woman I'd have more gladly given everything for.” Eldana said at her opposite side.

“And I have been equally honored to fight by your sides. I only wish you could have fought for my daughter.” 

“We will.” Illeryn responded. “This morning, the sun will rise on our forests painted red with the blood of our foes in her name.”

“Let it be so.” Lireesa spun her blades as they crested the last rise and the enemy camp came into view. “My back.”

“None will touch you until our last arrows are spent. Until we draw our last breaths.”

Lireesa watched them both fade further into the shadows that still hid her in her armor black as night. 

“Until then.” She whispered.

  


"Ribbon"  
Billie Marten

Ribbon of the river by my side  
I walk the shores and watch it unwind  
The railway tracks will leave a glimpse of the light  
From the train, trailing sparks of gold behind

And as soon as you're seen it it's gone  
As soon as you've seen it it's gone

Secrets of the city  
Make an aching in my heart  
And the mysteries that tease me so  
I long to belong but I always have to go

People stare and wonder why I stray  
They don't understand that wandering's my way  
I'll never stop, though time is slipping away  
The elusive light, shining strange on my face

As soon as you've seen it it's gone  
As soon as you've seen it it's gone

Secrets of the city  
Make an aching in my heart  
And the mysteries that tease me so  
I long to belong but I always have to go

Home ties me up  
With discontent  
Since the day I first went  
Yearning to be back again  
How will I return and when

Secrets of the city  
Make an aching in my heart  
And the mysteries that tease me so  
I long to belong but I always have to go


	19. As It Was

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Sylvanas’s ears were pressed back as they marched through the undergrowth almost silently despite the heavy cover of fallen leaves. They twitched sideways any time she heard a sound she wasn’t already expecting to her. Her eyes, however, darted about rapidly in the hazy, early morning light. She had been on edge since her mother’s departure. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt normal. Nothing, aside from Velonara’s presence beside her. For that, at least, she was grateful.

They had passed the point where she expected her mother and her officers to be waiting for them nearly half an hour ago, yet she remained steadfast. None of her emotions - her fear, her immense worry, were displayed outwardly. 

Until she saw the dark outline of horses in the distance and held up a hand to still the other rangers who were filtering, silent and deadly through the trees of their forest. 

Sylvanas drew an arrow from her quiver slowly as she walked on, alone. She notched it easily against her bowstring and drew it halfway. She could loose it before any threat could so much as blink in her direction, now. 

Breathe. 

Step. 

Breathe. 

The horses were alone. That much soon became clear. 

Breathe.

Step.

Breathe. 

Listen.

Listen to be sure there was no immediate threat to her, or to the women at her back - all of whom were watching her closely in the distance. 

Breathe. 

Step. 

…And then, no breath came. 

She was frozen. For a moment, her heart refused to beat. Her lungs refused to work. Her hands tingled against her bow - a tingle that was mimicked in her spine. That raced up the length of it and burned at the base of her skull. 

What was this outline beneath her mother’s cloak? Why was her horse staring at her, so? Like he knew something she did not? 

Step. Just one more. Just to draw herself close enough to pull the familiar, heavy garment from the horse’s back to reveal what she’d refused to believe was there. 

When she first touched the bow, she felt its power blaze against her fingertips even as her world began crumbling around her. 

No. 

Not now. 

Breathe. 

She shook her head as though that would somehow clear the panicked muddle her thoughts had become and forced her hands to work enough that she could unbuckle the bow from its place at the back of her mother’s saddle. 

It was overwhelming. Overpowering. She didn’t want to feel this. She wasn’t ready for it - for the way the bow pulled at her as she was sure it had her mother. 

Her mother. 

She turned slowly to face the Rangers awaiting her orders, and only then did they see what she was holding. Only then did Velonara break formation and begin walking towards her with a furrow in her brow. Sylvanas lifted her hand in another silent order for everyone to remain put, then tugged at the reigns of the horse that had been her mother’s charge for so many years. He turned in response and began walking away - towards the direction he knew. Towards home. The other two followed. 

Their horses had always been brilliant...but her mother’s was something else, entirely. The gentle nudge to her shoulder before he began walking was all the proof one would have needed to know that. 

A moment. Just a moment. That’s all she needed. Just a moment to lean against the nearest tree and dig her glove-tipped fingers into the bark of it. A moment to choke back the sound that threatened to betray her. 

Then she stood. She stood and turned to face what awaited her. Now, a gathering of women who looked nothing if not concerned. Soon...a war. 

“Captain…” Velonara began, her eyes flashing from the bow she was holding and up to her eyes. Eyes that were too hard. Too emotionless. 

“We march. They left a clear enough trail. It will lead us to our foes and to them.” Sylvanas responded evenly, though even she wasn’t sure what she meant by that. 

And, so, they marched. They marched until the trail ended in bodies too numerous to count easily. More than twenty, easily. All troll bodies. Fallen with either arrows or clean, concise cuts from a sword. Her mother’s sword, almost certainly. She’d never known a woman better with a blade than her. None of them had. 

They looked through the carnage - because it could be described as little else - for a sign. Any sign. They found none. More trolls. More blood. 

“Captured?” 

Sylvanas was almost surprised to hear someone speak, and she turned to look at who had addressed her. Loralen. A woman who had watched her grow. Had watched her become what she now was. A friend, always, to her mother - and to her. 

She swallowed thickly and cleared her throat in an attempt to make it work. “She wouldn’t…” Sylvanas looked away, rolling her shoulders and standing a little straighter as she forced her ears to lift from where they’d wilted to. 

“You’re right, of course.” Loralen responded softly. 

Both of them knew Lireesa would never have allowed herself to be taken alive. They weren’t the only ones. A certain measure of solemness had settled over the ruined camp. No. They weren’t here. The Ranger-General wasn’t here. 

“Regroup. They can’t have gone far, and they were sloppy about it.” Sylvanas was walking, now - around the edge of the camp as she spoke. “They’ve begun to circle back - meaning to miss us, surely. They won’t make it far. Will they?” 

The next time she looked at the two units she was currently commanding, her eyes were...different. There was something new in them. Something that made Velonara both want to hold back and run to her all at once. But she wouldn’t. Not now. 

“No, Captain.” One of Lireesa’s women. An older woman from her unit who had much the same look in her own eyes. “We will find them, and we will bring our General home.” 

“March, then.” Sylvanas’s voice was strange. There was almost a snarl at the end of the words she bit out. The next arrow she notched was against the string of her mother’s bow. Her family’s bow. 

As unprepared as the troll army might have been to be caught unawares by them, the Rangers were equally surprised by the sheer number of them. It was three to one, at best, and if this army had made it past them to the villages beyond...if they failed to stop them now…

They couldn’t. They wouldn’t fail. 

And Sylvanas wanted to taste their blood in the air. She wanted to breathe their suffering. Yet, she waited. She waited as they seemed keen to regroup and take stock of what and whom had been lost. Then, she gestured upwards. To the trees. 

Half of their number hooked their bows at their backs and began scaling effortlessly until they were hidden in the canopy - then they moved until they were directly overhead, all without alerting a soul to their presence. 

Sylvanas held up two fingers. Velonara and Loralen stepped forward, and then they stood - breaking their cover and allowing Sylvanas to lead them towards the crest of the slope that had provided their hiding places. 

Sylvanas had never seen a group of trolls look so fearful of three elves. She could almost feel it rolling off of them. 

Until they seemed to remember that this wasn’t the same three. That it couldn’t be. That was when they began reaching for their weapons. That was when Sylvanas lifted a hand. “I demand an audience with your commander.” 

The near-perfect Amani rolled off her tongue so easily that the restless trolls near her froze. For a while, there was silence. The Rangers in the trees above didn’t so much as disturb a single leaf. The ones hidden behind the ridge were equally as silent. For all intents and purposes, it looked as though Sylvanas had arrived with only her two companions. 

The trolls had learned their armor long ago. Enough, at least, to recognize that Sylvanas was an officer of high rank and that those next to her were no mere recruits. That didn’t change the fact that there were only three of them. Not at all. 

“Oh?” A rather gnarled troll lifted his head in the center of the group. He was currently nursing a rather gruesome wound on his chest that seemed not to bother him in the slightest. 

Sylvanas’s sharp eyes didn’t miss anything. They didn’t miss the smirk behind his tusks or the slight limp in his walk as he took a step forward. They didn’t miss the fine golden leaf dangling from his ear - the elven smithing that had shaped the lines of the veins in it. She could see them even from this far. She could see the earring that she had once tugged on as a child while Lireesa laughed and pulled her hand away gently. 

“You and what army?” 

Sylvanas’s jaw was clenched so tightly it was painful, yet her expression was eerily serene. So much so, that it even gave the troll pause. 

“Clever.” Sylvanas responded. “I’ll let each and every one of you safely retreat from my forests if you return our General and her officers to us.” 

For a moment, as he seemed to think this over, Sylvanas felt a flutter of hope. Faint, but there. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

Breathe. 

Wait. 

The troll narrowed his eyes at her before his expression relaxed and he chuckled, turning to make his way back into the center of the camp where he lifted something bundled roughly in soiled, bloodied cloth rather unceremoniously and turned back to face her. Another two bundles were retrieved - these dragged along the ground and left on either side of their commander before they took a few steps back to continue letting him conduct his business, though low, hushed laughter had begun to build tenuously throughout the gathering. 

No. 

Breathe.

No. God, no. 

The thud of the commander’s bundle hitting the ground shook her physically. Caused a sharp breath to leave her nostrils, though the troll wouldn’t hear it from as far away as he was. 

“This your General, Elf?” He asked as his eyes glinted and he reached down to tear the cloth - revealing a shock of black hair and silver streaks that were stained red with blood. And the beginning of the scar that had split her mother’s eyebrow for as long as Sylvanas had been alive. 

“Tell you what - you think you can carry her, you can have her. I’ll even give you a head start while you run back to that pretty city of yours.” He looked down at his prize, then, and reached to touch her hair.

Before his fingertips ever made contact, time slowed to a stop. Sylvanas looked to her side at Velonara, who was already looking at her. Whose brows were furrowed and whose eyes were wide and wild. She didn’t hear the hushed, frantic ‘no’ that she _saw_ leave her lips. Nor had she ever drawn an arrow so quickly. 

An arrow that flew from Thas’dorah before she even gave herself a chance to aim. Before any of them had a chance to react - including the troll, whose wrist was pinned to the ground, split by her arrow, before he’d ever even managed to touch what he’d been reaching for. 

He was agape at her boldness more so than the pain. Then, as they all began to react - to lift their spears from the ground and find their axes at their belts, the sound of two dozen bows being drawn almost in perfect time preceded the sound of arrows making quick, deadly contact. 

There were no more than half of them left when Sylvanas hung her bow at her back and drew the saber that hung at her hip. 

“Sylvanas!” Velonara shouted as she loosed another arrow. 

But it was too late. 

Those of them that preferred close combat broke from the rest of the formation and charged forward with their Captain while the rest provided them cover.

There was no denying Sylvanas was one of the best of the Rangers when it came to shooting and to sword work. No denying she was a fearsome warrior, even among others of her kind. But her ferocity now was...unexpected. The intimacy with which she killed was enough to drive those around her deeply into the rage-filled vengeance they sorely needed. 

Never did an arrow so much as graze one of them, despite their quick, blinding movements. They were all ruthless. They all knew what needed to be done. 

But Sylvanas...Sylvanas was snarling with each deep cut. With each throat split by her blade. There was no blue left on her uniform. She was covered in the dark, ruddy hues of wet blood. All she could see was him. Surrounded by trolls that had become nothing more than obstacles to her. 

So blinded was she by her pain that she didn’t realize the tide had begun to turn in their enemies’ favor. So blinded was she by the rage that coursed through her veins, she didn’t realize they had begun to lose ground. She was buried too deep in the thick of it. Parrying multiple spears at once as each breath seethed through her bared fangs. She didn’t even feel the pain of the few glancing blows she actually took. 

Until Loralen whistled shrilly from the ridge and she finally, somehow, forced herself back into...herself, and looked around. 

That whistle had been a question, not an order. Retreat? They couldn’t keep this up forever.

No. They couldn’t afford not to. They couldn’t afford to let them pass. 

She turned her attention back in front of her just in time to drop her sword and catch a spear before it could sink into the vulnerable flesh of her stomach. She turned to the side and drove her shoulder into the advancing troll, disarming him and driving the shaft into his throat so sharply it collapsed beneath the blow. He wouldn’t get back up. But too many of them were. 

Too many. 

A flicker of green in the forest beyond caught her eye. Then another. And another. So many that she lost count. 

Then, the distant thundering of hooves that were expertly navigating the forest at a speed that would have been a death sentence for anyone other than…

“Alleria.” Sylvanas breathed as her eldest sister came thundering into the clearing, leaned over the neck of her horse. Then, she was launching herself off of him - using the momentum of his gallop to take down the nearest troll to her. She was on his back and her blade was sliding across his throat before the force even took him down. 

“Too close, sister.” Alleria panted as she looked Sylvanas over quickly and then tossed her second sword her way as the clearing was quickly filled with women who were much more used to facing these foes, in particular. Women who helped their Rangers make quick work of the outermost ring of them. “You were always better with a bow.” 

“Mother…” 

Alleria nodded stiffly. “I know. My runner told me.” 

Sylvanas swallowed thickly against the dryness in her throat. All she could taste was blood. “That one’s mine.” She glanced towards a now panicked-looking troll who was scrambling for the nearest weapon. 

Alleria nodded. “So be it.” 

With that, she was in the fray - helping her Farstrider sisters finish what the Rangers had started, allowing them time to take stock - time to breathe, now that they weren’t fiercely defending Sylvanas and the rest of those that had run into the battle. 

At the end of it all, Alleria and Verana had the troll commander on his knees, and it was Alleria’s blade at his throat - yet they held. Sylvanas approached slowly as the movement in the clearing gradually stopped and they all waited. Lireesa and her officers had been retrieved - moved to safety with their wounded, who watched over them with bows at the ready. 

Sylvanas was still breathing heavily when she came to a stop in front of him. Still not ready to speak as she reached out and pulled her mother’s earring from his ear, straight down - through the cartilage. “This isn’t yours.” She growled as she leaned in so that her face was even with his. 

“What else do you have that doesn’t belong to you?” 

Sylvanas drew in a sharp breath through her teeth as he managed to gather enough saliva in his mouth quickly enough to spit in her direction. An instant later, she had her dagger buried in his side - digging and twisting into his organs as her other hand gripped his throat beneath his chin. 

“What. Else.” 

He groaned and shuddered as she pushed the hilt of the blade harder against him despite the fact that it was buried completely. “A ring. A ring. My belt pouch.” 

Verana retrieved it quickly, and moved out of her way with just as much haste. Sylvanas knew this ring. Sylvanas knew who her mother had worn it for. She slipped it into her own belt pouch to join the earring that was already there, then removed the blade from his side. 

Alleria allowed him to fall, sputtering, to the ground, and regarded her sister calmly as she removed her dagger to allow him to bleed out.

“Get our wounded and lost home.” Sylvanas finally ordered, though she kept her eyes on the troll as he struggled through his last breaths. “With four from each unit, and our fastest horses, with a runner to Silvermoon to address the king.” 

“I’ll address the king,” Alleria responded, though there was no challenge in her tone or in her eyes. “General.” 

More than one set of eyes rested on Sylvanas, then, as she felt the weight that had been hanging over her all her life begin to settle into grooves that had long been worn into her for this very reason. One of those sets of eyes belonged to the woman who loved her, though she didn’t have room for that in her exhausted muddle of thoughts right now. She didn’t have room to process the unimaginable sorrow in Velonara’s nearby gaze - not for herself, but for her. For Sylvanas. For everything she’d seen her lose today. Their General. Her mother. Her freedom. Velonara wanted nothing more than to wrap her in her arms. To save her from the horrors that had changed _everything_. But she couldn’t. And it was killing her. 

“And what of the bodies, General?” Verana’s voice was grim. Grim, but steady even after all they'd been through that morning. Sylvanas met her gaze. Accepted the recognition and appreciation there. And the grief. Because they were all grieving. There just wasn’t time for it, now. Not yet. 

Sylvanas had only just released Verana from her unit a few months prior - allowed her to escape into the relative freedom of the Farstriders. Allowed her to serve with Alleria - and it was something both the former Ranger and her sister were still grateful for. Yet, Verana felt guilt digging deeply into her gut. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been addressing Sylvanas as ‘General’ if she’d been here. Perhaps things would’ve been different. 

Then again, perhaps if she hadn’t ridden so quickly back to Alleria, they might have lost everything. 

“Leave them. And their heads? Use their own spears to line this pass with them. They have forgotten that they are not the only Wild Things in these forests.” 

Sylvanas looked around at the women who had been awaiting her orders and then down at the small, delicate golden earring she clutched in her palm. Her eyes burned as she tightened her fist around it until she could no longer see it. Then, she lifted it, filthy though it was, and forced it through the delicate cartilage of her own ear in one swift, sure motion. 

She didn't even blink in response to what should have been blinding pain, and the expression on her face was full of rage just barely contained as she addressed them again. “Remind them!” 

That last order had echoed sharply against the trees. Alleria stood just behind her sister, unmoving until the Rangers began carrying out her orders. Then, she knelt and began severing the commanding troll’s head from his body. 

“My Farstriders are yours to command until next we meet.” Alleria said as Sylvanas looked down at what she was doing, seemingly unaffected by the sight of her sister getting back to her feet a moment later with the troll’s hair in her clenched fist, head dangling against her thigh. 

Alleria looked down at it, too, before she continued.

“I’m taking this to Silvermoon.”

  


"As It Was"  
Hozier

There is a roadway  
Muddy and foxgloved  
Whenever I'd had life enough  
My heart is screaming of

And in a few days  
I will be there, love  
Whatever here that's left of me  
Is yours just as it was

Just as it was, baby  
Before the otherness came  
And I knew its name  
The drug, the dark,  
The light, the flame

The highs hit the heights of my baby  
And its hold had the fight of my baby  
And the lights were as bright as my baby  
But your love was unmoved

Tell me if somehow  
Some of it remains  
How long you would wait for me  
How long I've been away

The shape that I'm in now  
Your shape in the doorway  
Make your good love known to me  
Or just tell me about your day

Just as it was, baby  
Before the otherness came  
And I knew its name  
The drug, the dark,  
The light, the shame

The highs hit the heights of my baby  
And its hold had the fight of my baby  
And the lights were as bright as my baby  
But your love was unmoved

And the sights were as stark as my baby  
And the cold cut as sharp as my baby  
And the nights were as dark as my baby  
Half as beautiful too

 


	20. Never Go Back

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

The guards hadn’t stopped her. They could scarcely keep their eyes on her for longer than a moment before they had to look away. The magisters hadn’t stopped her for much the same reason. They all knew who she was. They didn’t dare question the almost crazed look in her eyes or the copious amount of blood dried into her hair and her skin. 

Alleria Windrunner was furious. There was nothing but rage in her expression as she shoved open the council chamber doors and stalked up to the table their various leaders were sitting at. Nobody reacted, now, because nobody had time to prepare for the severed head of a troll to suddenly come rolling across the table, leaving a path of blood in its wake. 

Anasterian was utterly silent as he stared down at what had been tossed in his direction. It was one of his councilmen that stood. Perhaps unwisely. 

“I demand to know the meaning of this, Captain. Immediately.”

“Do you?” Alleria asked as she bared her teeth and leaned forward towards him over the expansive table. “Do you really not know the meaning of it? Are you still blinded by misplaced, over-optimistic confidence, Magister? By your hatred of the humans?”

“How _dare_ -”

“Enough.” Anasterian said in an almost quiet tone. “Take your seat, Magister. Alleria...explain. Please.” 

“She warned you.” Alleria’s voice shook, now. There was nothing she could do to control it. “I know she did.” She stood from where she’d been leaning and looked at the council in its entirety. The council who were now each looking at the all-too-real proof of war that had been presented to them so violently. So suddenly. 

“Why didn’t the Ranger-General come to address us directly?” Anasterian continued as he tried to work out exactly what was happening. To buy himself even the smallest measure of time to think. 

“My sister is otherwise occupied.” There was venom in Alleria’s voice, now. Pain in no small measure, as well. 

Anasterian’s eyes flashed up to her quickly and Alleria recognized the fear that had suddenly found its way into them. “What?” 

“You heard me, my _King_. You all did. You allowed your pompous arrogance to outweigh your judgment. You thought we could afford to continue turning away the help being offered to us. Is this enough, then? Enough to make you believe we are outmatched? The trolls have joined with the orcs. You knew that, too. You knew it would make them brazen. More deadly than ever they have been. And yet here we are.” 

“Alleria…” Anasterian breathed as he stood and began making his way around the council table towards her. She took a step back and lifted her hand. 

“I have no time for pity, Anasterian. And neither have you. She’s given you a gift that you didn’t deserve to be given. The people will mourn her. They will rally behind my sister in her assumed grief. They will fight viciously for her. And you will send the correspondence to the humans of Lordaeron that you should have sent long ago.”

“Would you wait a moment, Alleria?” Anasterian asked though he had stopped as soon as she lifted her hand. 

She drew in a slow, deep breath as she stood there. A breath meant to calm herself, though it did little in the way of that. She waited, nonetheless. 

“I assume you’re returning to your sister. Send my...my condolences. I’ll send a delegation to Lordaeron as soon as they’re ready to move.” 

“Give them to her, yourself.” Alleria replied. “If you wish. However, there are things she might appreciate more. Our mother’s body is on its way here. Preserve it until we have the luxury of giving her the honors she deserves.”

“Of course, Alleria.” 

Something in her softened, then. Just enough. Just enough that the edge of pain really began to cut into her for the first time. She swallowed thickly before she spoke again. “And make sure your blades are still sharp, Anasterian. I know you haven’t used them in a while.” 

He smiled at her weakly and held an arm out to her. An arm she grasped as she looked into his eyes. They’d known each other for so very long... 

“I would thank you not to speak to my father in that tone.” 

Alleria’s eyes flashed to the prince who had, until now, been silent at the council table. “Ah.” She remarked idly as she released Anasterian’s arm. “The Prince has found his bark.” 

Anasterian turned to face his son, then, and looked at him imploringly. “Hold your tongue, Kael’thas.” 

“It will touch you, too, you know. We won’t be the only children to wake without a mother in this war. It’s fortunate that you’ve been safe here thus far. Soon, though, you will need to find a better use for yourself than keeping that seat warm and throwing around the weight of your name. Because let me let you in on a little secret, my Prince. Right now, there is only one name that matters. And it isn’t yours.” 

For once in his life, Kael’thas didn’t know what to say. He simply looked from Alleria to his father in shock. His father, who didn’t look like he disagreed in the least. 

“I’ll see to your mother personally when she arrives.” Anasterian finally said. “Take care of yourself, Alleria.” 

She finally managed to look away from the outspoken mage whose skin was deeply flushed from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and back at Anasterian when he spoke. She offered him a simple nod and then made her way out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sylvanas slid from her saddle at the edge of the courtyard of Windrunner Spire with an almost blank expression on her face. Time, it seemed, stood still for a while. She didn’t feel Velonara’s hand on her shoulder as the bodies were carried out of her home. Two, to be exact.

The Ranger who approached them? She didn’t hear her at first, though she could tell the woman was speaking directly to her. 

“Sylvanas…” Velonara whispered, tightening her trembling grip on her lover in an attempt to pull her away from the scene, only to step back immediately when Sylvanas tugged her shoulder away. 

“Did they take the village?” Sylvanas’s voice sounded...alien. Even to herself. It was too calm. Too cold. 

“No, General. Your father...he...he took out a great many of them. Those few that remained were no match for the village.” 

Sylvanas’s eyes flashed to the sheets that covered her father...and her brother, as they were carried out on cots. Her vision blurred for a moment. She was exhausted. The bow in her hand was like a stone threatening to pull her shoulder from its socket. She could feel _too much_. 

“Bring them to Silvermoon.” Again, that voice. She didn’t know where it was coming from, really. She didn’t know where that strength was hiding. “Evacuate the village if you haven’t already. Evacuate _all_ that still stand. Start with the outermost and have it done before nightfall. Report back to me when you’ve finished.” 

“Yes, General.” The woman faltered. Lingered for a moment as Sylvanas regarded her - not so much for her specifically, as to focus long enough to force her feet to carry her reliably. When she was sure, again, that they would - the General turned to face the units who all had their eyes on her. “Camp here for the night. We march to the enclave tomorrow to recuperate and have our wounds treated. To regroup. ...Velonara?” 

“Yes?” She was still near. Still somehow managing to keep her emotions in check even as she watched her lover’s life fall in shambles around her. Even as she watched the weight bearing down on her double...triple...become crippling. 

“The kitchen. Would you…” Sylvanas cleared her throat and tilted her head slightly. “Would you retrieve enough food from the kitchen for a proper meal for everyone? Long march tomorrow.” 

Velonara nodded and managed to catch the other woman’s gaze. She saw the way her eyes glistened faintly. “Sylvanas?” Her voice was an imploring whisper. She was just short of begging. 

“Go, Ranger.” Sylvanas breathed, clenching her jaw once she’d spoken. The next words came in a whisper a moment later. “Not now.” 

Velonara’s eyes fell and she walked towards the spires quickly, then. Adding insubordination to the mix didn’t really seem like a viable option right then. She knew why Sylvanas sent her. She’d sent her because she trusted her...and because she knew where to find everything. 

At least she was alone, now. And, under the cover of Sylvanas’s barked orders echoing across the courtyard, a quiet sob finally broke from her throat as she leaned against an all-too-familiar kitchen counter. The smell of blood was overwhelming. Overwhelming because very little of it belonged to the trolls that had been there. Elven blood was...different. Especially to senses as finely honed as theirs were. 

And the floors were streaked with it. Floors that were so highly polished it did little but pool in various places and just sit. She was only grateful Sylvanas hadn’t had to discover them however they’d been when they fell.

She just needed a moment. She desperately needed a moment to process. Yet, that moment was, apparently, not hers to have. She pushed away from the counter and turned quickly towards the sound of footsteps that had stopped just inside the doorway. Her heart sunk into the very pit of her stomach at the sight of Sylvanas standing there with her shoulders squared and her jaw set almost painfully. 

It sank even further when she noticed there were no longer unshed tears dancing in the familiar blue-grey of Sylvanas’s eyes as they trailed over the wreckage of her home. Of her family. They seemed strangely...dull. 

“Sometimes mercy isn’t something we can afford to give.” Sylvanas whispered as she lifted a gloved hand and rested it on the splintered frame of the door. 

Velonara took a careful step towards her as her ears twitched faintly in the direction of Sylvanas’s quiet voice. “...What?” 

Sylvanas’s eyes fell shut as a shuddering breath left her. Then they opened and lifted to Velonara as her hand slid from its resting place. “My mother taught me that.” She spoke so quietly that it caused Velonara to take another step towards her. God, she wanted to run to her. She wanted Sylvanas in her arms so desperately. “A long time ago.” 

“We will show them no such thing, Sylvanas.” Velonara breathed as her brow furrowed. 

Sylvanas smiled almost sadly at that. “And they will return the favor.” 

With that, Sylvanas left Velonara standing there not knowing what to say or do. So she simply followed the orders she’d been given and, once everyone had been adequately fed and cared for, she went to the tent their unit had already set up for them. The tent they shared...only to find Sylvanas absent. 

Panic rose in her chest, along her spine and over her scalp as she turned and looked around towards the few women still retreating into their tents for the night. She wasn’t here. She wasn’t among them. 

Velonara searched for a long time. She wasn’t sure why it hadn’t occurred to her to go towards the beach before now - but there she was. Sitting in the sand with her family’s bow beside her and her hood hanging down against her back as the gentle waves swept slowly over the sand a few feet in front of her. 

This time she didn’t speak. Instead, she moved towards Sylvanas silently until she was settling down in the sand next to her - staring out at the same water all of her lover’s attention seemed to be focused on. Yet, even as Sylvanas’s eyes stayed trained upon the water, she began to speak. 

“Shoulder your burdens well, child of the sun. Until you can shoulder them no more. Then, rest easy in the arms of the sun for there will be another to carry your flame. May that flame burn all the more brightly for your added ember. May it never be extinguished that your name may live on in the rays of light and life that warm our forests and the faces of our children.” 

The language was...formal. Delicate and lilting even for their own tongue. The first line, Velonara knew well. All Rangers did. But the rest...the rest left her speechless. She didn’t know if she had enough breath left in her lungs to speak even if she’d known what to say. It was like that for quite a while until she finally broke the heavy silence between them. 

“That’s...beautiful, Sylvanas.” 

Sylvanas slowly let her legs slide down to rest against the sand as she turned her head so that she was almost looking at Velonara...but not quite. “My grandfather wrote it.” 

“Talanas?” 

Sylvanas nodded faintly and then there was silence, again. Silence Velonara endured until, finally, Sylvanas spoke. “Do you believe a name can be cursed?” When Sylvanas looked up at her she looked...shattered. More lost than Velonara had ever seen her. But only her eyes. 

Velonara’s breath caught in her throat. She reached out without thinking and cradled Sylvanas’s cheek in her hand before bringing the other up and stroking over her face and into her hair so she could keep her attention.

“No.” As quiet as the answer was, it sounded almost desperate. 

“No, I don’t, my love. But I believe a name can be the greatest burden of all, and I believe yours is heavier than any other.” Velonara traced her thumb softly along a cut that ran just beneath Sylvanas’s high cheekbone and leaned in. 

Her body acted without waiting for her mind to catch up. Her lips brushed against Sylvanas’s as they murmured words she didn’t think before she spoke. 

“And I’m so terribly sorry. I am so, so sorry.” 

Sylvanas reached up to grip Velonara’s wrists so tightly it almost hurt. She kissed her so hard her fangs bit into the softness of her lips. Before Velonara knew what was happening, Sylvanas was pressing her onto her back in the sand and, as she deepened the kiss in a way that felt more angry than passionate, Velonara could have sworn she felt tears that weren’t her own falling against her skin. 

Every time Velonara reached for her, she found the other woman’s hands back around her wrists, pinning them to the ground in between frantic tugs at the laces of her breeches. So she stopped trying to touch her. She just lay there as she felt her jaw forced up by a powerful nudge of the side of Sylvanas’s face. She choked back a quiet sound as she felt fangs grazing the skin of her neck. 

If her thoughts had been more sensical, Velonara might have noticed that Sylvanas would never have normally been panting so harshly so quickly. She might have noticed sooner the way her hands had begun shaking and, eventually, stopped moving. 

Oh, but she noticed the choked, panicked breathing against the crook of her neck as all the strength seemed to leave Sylvanas’s body all at once. 

Velonara moved just quickly enough to wrap her arms around the back of Sylvanas’s head as she muffled a scream against her neck. As she dug her hands into the sand on either side of Velonara’s head and bared her teeth against skin she wouldn’t bite in a grimace that was louder than any scream. Than any words. 

Velonara had never had her heart broken. She’d spent all her life loving one person. One person who had never hurt her. Who had never been anything but gentle and kind in a way few others were. 

But she felt it shatter, then. Irreparably. She felt what had been cradled and nourished by the woman in her arms become jagged and raw and fractured. Her eyes shut tightly when the feeling and sound of dampened, anguished cries subsided into almost fruitless, seething breaths through clenched teeth. 

“I’m sorry.” She whimpered into Sylvanas’s hair, stroking along one of her ears and down her back as she bent her legs at the knee to keep Sylvanas between them and against her. “I’m sorry.” Oh, she’d never been more sorry. She’d never been more helpless. Or shocked. 

Shocked - as Sylvanas tore herself from her arms and stood, looking for all intents and purposes, like a frightened animal as she ran her hands through her own hair and stalked a few paces away. 

“I know.” Sylvanas spat the words like venom. There was a cold, remorseless anger in her voice. One Velonara knew she couldn’t control any more than she could control how much it had stung. “I know that. You keep _saying_ that.” 

The regret was immediate. Overwhelming. Sylvanas’s ears wilted as Velonara stood and began fixing her clothing with trembling hands. 

“Tell me what you need, then,” Velonara whispered after she quickly wiped the stains of tears from her face. 

“I didn’t…” Sylvanas shook her head helplessly. “Velonara…”

“I know.” She breathed in response, though she didn’t make another move in Sylvanas’s direction. “And I promise you it’s okay. Just tell me what you need.” 

“Can you just...can you wait for me in the tent?” Sylvanas asked as exhaustion seeped into the holes her grief had left in her voice. “I need…” She trailed off. She didn’t know. God, she didn’t know, right now. 

Velonara offered her a weak smile as she walked up to her, finally, and reached for her hand. Sylvanas watched her lift it and press her forehead against it before she kissed the palm of her glove and let go. “You need to rest soon.” 

Sylvanas swallowed and nodded as Velonara let go of her hand and looked down at the ground between them before she turned back towards camp. 

Sylvanas watched her leave as her thoughts stumbled over themselves until they came to an excruciating, confusing halt. A crossroads where she both desperately wanted and feared, uncontrollably, the thought of being alone with Velonara again right then. 

She knew, though, that it was far too warm here for her to feel cold.

She just couldn’t stop shivering. 

And she didn’t return to the tent until it was nearly dawn. Until she was almost certain Velonara would be asleep. When she could crawl in beside her and lay facing away from her. 

Velonara gave her that. She gave her time to get settled and be still before her aching eyes slid open and she stared at the wall of their tent. She could feel Sylvanas shaking behind her. She could feel the broken pieces of her heart straining against the confines of her chest. 

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

"Never Go Back"  
Evanescence

Everything is so dark  
And I know there's something wrong  
But I can't turn the light on

In that split second change  
When you knew we couldn't hold on  
I realized I lived to love you

Save yourself  
Don't look back  
Tearing us apart until it's all gone  
The only world I've ever known sleeps beneath the waves  
But I remember

I won't give up on you  
I can feel you in my heart, just show me the way  
I don't belong here  
Alone

I can still see your face  
Where it's burned into my mind  
I die every time  
I close my eyes, you're always there

Save yourself  
Don't look back  
Tearing us apart until it's all gone  
The only world I've ever known sleeps beneath the waves

But I'm the one who's drowning  
Without your love  
I am lost and I can never go back home

All across the ocean  
We are calling, calling

Are you there?  
Nothing left for me till I find you because it's

All gone  
The only world I've ever known sleeps beneath the waves  
But I'm the one who's drowning  
Without your love  
I am lost and I can never go back  
I can never go back home

 


	21. In The Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elor bindel felallan morin'aminor  
>  _Sleep forever in quiet serenity_

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Sylvanas, I can’t.”

Alleria had been sitting across from her sister for some time, now. Thas’dorah had been between them on the Ranger-General’s desk since she’d first walked into Lireesa’s old, seldom-used rooms in Silvermoon. Rooms that belonged to Sylvanas, now. The darkness beneath the younger sister’s eyes pained Alleria almost as much as the events of the past few days had. 

“No, Alleria, _I_ can’t.” Sylvanas responded quietly as she leaned back in the chair she was seated in and rested her gloved hands in her lap. “I’m not asking you as a sister. Though, as a sister, we both know what I’ve done for you in taking this mantle. We both know I’ve done this so that you don’t have to.” There were things that Sylvanas didn’t say. Things she couldn’t help but think as she watched Alleria look down at the bow for a moment before averting her eyes, entirely. 

Insidious little thoughts whispering terrible truths into the back of Sylvanas’s mind. Their mother should have retired. Alleria should have seen to that. But it was too late now. It was far too late, now. 

“Thas’dorah belongs in the hands of the General.” Alleria objected quietly, leaning towards the desk so that she could better see Sylvanas in the dim lantern-light that barely illuminated the room. She was wearing regalia, now. Generals’ regalia. For someone so young, she looked...aged, somehow. Alleria knew it wasn’t the armor, and the guilt was nearly overwhelming. 

“Thas’dorah belongs in Quel’Thalas in the hands of whomever would use it to best defend our people. That isn’t me. Your reach is far longer than mine and your arrows will find far more orcs and trolls than mine ever will.” 

Alleria remained silent. There was a furrow in her brow as a shudder wracked her body when she reached out to lay her hand on the bow only to find it covered by her sister’s, suddenly. Holding it there as she leaned forward, too. 

“As a sister, Alleria, this is the one burden that I can’t bear. I can’t bear to look at it. I can’t bear to touch it. In your hands, I’ll almost never have to lay eyes on it. Give me this one thing. Just this. That’s all I ask of you.” 

Slowly, Alleria pulled the bow closer to herself. Slowly, she stood. “Of course, General.” Her voice was a whisper. There was too much pain and regret in her tone for her to try to force more volume from it. And there was no use apologizing. No use offering anything she knew she wasn’t willing to give. 

“Will you check on Vereesa?” Sylvanas asked as Alleria neared the door. “She was upset with the outfitter brought her procession cloak to her earlier.” 

“Would you?” Alleria queried in an oddly gentle, imploring tone. A tone that made Sylvanas look up at her in concern. “I think...I think it would help her to see you right now. To remember that you’re her sister and that you love her as that first and as a Ranger second.” 

“Being a Ranger is never second, Alleria.” Sylvanas admonished, though she was already standing from her chair. 

As hard as her words were, Alleria noticed the slight downward cant of Sylvanas’s ears as she walked towards the door. “The runner should have been here by now with our marching route for tomorrow. Would you check on that for me?” 

Alleria nodded simply and held the door open for Sylvanas as she left and made her way down the corridor to where their youngest sister was staying in advance of Lireesa’s ceremony. 

Sylvanas even knocked. Perhaps as much to prolong the inevitable as for the sake of politeness. 

“Come in.” 

Sylvanas heard rustling beyond the door and she hesitated for a moment or two longer before finally opening it and stepping inside. Once the door was shut behind her, she turned slowly to face Vereesa. The brokenness on her face that read so plainly matched what Sylvanas was doing her best to hide. 

“Little Moon.” Sylvanas said quietly, clearing her throat before she removed her gloves and her cloak and placed them both near the door before making her way over to sit beside Vereesa on the sofa she was currently perched on the edge of. 

“Yes, Ranger-General?” 

Sylvanas shook her head and looked over at her - carefully noting the way Vereesa was avoiding her eyes. “Not right now.” She responded, forcing as much gentleness into her voice as she could muster. 

“Sylvanas is fine. Or Lady Moon. Pitiful excuse for a sister who has been avoiding being alone with you is also fitting.” 

“Don’t say that.” Vereesa’s voice broke when she spoke and she lifted a hand quickly to cover her mouth as she shook her head. 

Sylvanas sighed as she turned to face Vereesa and reached for her, pulling her strongly into her arms so that she could hide her face against her chest. 

“Your armor.” Vereesa protested weakly as she began to push away with a hand against Sylvanas’s ornately adorned shoulder. 

“Mm-mm.” Sylvanas only held her tighter. “It’s just armor, Moon. Let it out. Tomorrow, I need you strong. But right now, I need you to let it out.” 

And she did. She wept bitterly against Sylvanas as the older woman held onto her - staring over the top of her head at the far wall and occasionally catching silent tears of her own when they dared to try and slip down her face and betray her. 

“Take me out of Silvermoon.” Vereesa half-whimpered against Sylvanas’s neck when she tried and failed to lift her head. “Let me fight. I won’t lose you two, too. I can’t, Sylvanas, please. I’m begging you.” 

“You won’t lose us, Vereesa.” Sylvanas continued in the same gentle, soothing tone. A tone that somehow made it out unscathed through the brokenness that made up her entire existence now. “But we need you here because neither of us can stand the thought of losing you. It would only distract us from what we have to do. You’re with a unit. It’s not as though you have no part to play. The evacuees need protection. Care. They need to know they haven’t been forgotten, and to have one of us here with them will give them the hope they need.”

“There are plenty of other Rangers here.” Vereesa’s argument sounded weaker now. She was too tired to keep trying to find ways around Sylvanas’s perpetually infallible logic. 

“There are. And only one Windrunner among them.” Sylvanas hadn’t prepared herself for the fact that saying that would hurt. She hadn’t really realized until now that...it would be quite difficult for one of them to be everywhere they were needed. There were scarcely any left. 

That seemed to pacify Vereesa, though. She wasn’t ready to let go of her sister, yet, but she was a bit calmer. Her tears came in a way that sounded and felt less painful to Sylvanas, and for that, at least, she was glad. 

She sat with Vereesa for longer than she should have, perhaps. She sat with her until she was so exhausted she could be convinced to crawl into bed, where Sylvanas covered her before sitting on the edge next to her side. 

“You don’t have to stay. I know how busy you are.” Vereesa said softly, her tone slightly raspy from the crying. 

“Until you sleep, Moon.” Sylvanas whispered, reaching up a hand to stroke along Vereesa’s cheek and then through her hair. Slowly. Rhythmically. Vereesa was right. She was busy. She had a letter to write that she’d been dreading all day. But, still, she stayed until Vereesa’s breathing evened out and there was at least some measure of peace on her sleeping face. 

Only then did she return to the blank parchment in her office that she’d been staring at all evening. This time, though, she finally picked up her quill. 

_Lady Elenia,_

_I would like to extend a personal invitation to-_

Sylvanas let it a sharp exhale through her nostrils as her fist slammed down against the parchment so hard she nearly knocked her ink well over. Then, she pulled out a fresh one. And another. And another. 

Until she was bent over her desk weeping against a dozen ruined letters. Until her tears were bleeding the words she’d written into each other and her hands were trembling so terribly the quill fell from her fingertips. 

She didn’t even remember sweeping everything from her desk. All she knew was there was ink staining the wall nearby and seeping into the floor and the mess of parchment scattered across it. 

Was she going mad? 

She found her gloves and her cloak and pulled them on quickly before retreating from the rooms. They smelled like Lireesa. They smelled like her mother. 

Her meandering walk through mostly abandoned streets took her to a less-than-familiar part of town. To a little bakery to deliver the message she’d failed to write, herself. Or at least that was what she was telling herself right then as she walked towards the door. 

There was no smell of bread. No warm lantern light in the windows. But she knocked anyway. Then she leaned against the door as she wondered where Elenia might be. Where she might have gone. Until she heard footsteps on the landing and nearly fell inside when the door opened, only to find strong hands catching her upper arms. 

“Sylvanas?” Elenia’s voice was gentle and worried. Her hands were soft and careful as they came to draw her hair from her face so that she could be sure of who she was seeing in front of her. 

God, she looked so much like Lireesa. Like seeing a ghost, if ghosts could be this beautiful. This broken. “Sit. Please.” 

Elenia guided her to a nearby table and quickly retreated, only returning when she’d located a hand pie and a glass of cool, fresh milk - both of which she sat on the table near Sylvanas’s hand. 

“Forgive me, Lady Elenia. I only came to...I…” 

Elle shook her head and tugged the glove from Sylvanas’s right hand before placing the pie into it. “Not until you’ve eaten. I don’t care why you’re here, Sylvanas. You’re welcome here, always.” 

It wasn’t until now that Sylvanas realized she hadn’t eaten since…

As if to shove that thought back where it had come from, she obeyed. She ate quickly and without tasting to get it over and done with and finished off the milk just as quickly. It hadn’t occurred to her how much of her weakness had probably been due to her lack of nourishment over the previous days. 

“Now…” Elenia finally said after she cleared the dishes away and returned, moving a chair closer so she could sit in front of the younger woman. A woman who, while wounded in a way that perhaps only Elenia and her sisters could understand, still looked every bit the General that she was. “I’m so terribly glad to see you, but what news have you brought with you? Alleria? Vereesa? Are they all right?”

Sylvanas nodded. “Of course, they are. I don’t know that I’d be in front of you, now, if anything else were the case.” 

She managed a deeper breath, finally. One that brought her a little clarity as the food began working its very real, very necessary magic on her aching body. “I’ve been trying to write to you. I’ve been trying all day to write this letter. I couldn’t. I don’t know why. I’ve written so much since...and suddenly, this is the thing I can’t do.” 

Elenia reached out, then, and rested a hand on Sylvanas’s gauntleted forearm. “You can say the words, then. If you can’t write them. I’ve all the time in the world for you, Sylvanas.” 

Something about that made Sylvanas look away. She wondered if it had been like this for her mother. If her mother had come here for all those years for this gentle, patient acceptance. And she had to clench her jaw as she felt her lower lip twitch faintly in response to those thoughts. 

“I…” Sylvanas shook her head and then looked up at the ceiling of the bakery as her vision blurred for a fraction of a second. “I would...I would be honored by your presence at the Enclave.” She whispered, now, to avoid the tremor she could feel threatening to take her voice at the back of her throat. “When we send her home. I...I would like…” 

Elenia tightened her grip around Sylvanas’s arm. Her free hand came up to stroke along her shoulder, and her own exhaustion and hurts fled even further from her mind. 

“You loved her.” Sylvanas gasped out. “And she, you. So very, very much, Lady Elenia. And you both deserve for you to be there. Please, if you would.” 

“I would do anything you asked of me. But this...this is no burden, Sylvanas. I never thought...I never expected you to come. I certainly never expected this. I thought only Rangers and their families could be present.” 

Sylvanas nodded softly. “You were her family, Elenia.” She gasped out before quickly lifting a hand to wipe almost furiously at her eyes. “You’re still our family.” 

Elenia fell silent for a while. Then, somehow - all at once, Elenia’s arms were around her tightly and they were standing so tightly against each other it would have been difficult to tell where one of them ended and the other began. 

“A wonderful family.” Elenia breathed as she cradled the back of Sylvanas’s head. “Even now. Of course I’ll be there.” 

Sylvanas pulled away only when she felt she could stand properly again. 

Elenia watched through tear-blurred eyes as she reached into her belt pouch and pulled out a small velvet cloth. A wrapping of some sort. Then, Sylvanas’s hand came out and closed her own fingers around it firmly. “When I’ve gone.” Sylvanas explained. “No need to open it until I’ve gone.” 

Elenia nodded silently, and Sylvanas paced in front of the door for a moment to collect herself. “Tomorrow, then, Lady Elenia.” She said as she opened the door and looked back at her. 

“Tomorrow and whenever you’d like.” Elenia replied quietly. Then, she watched Sylvanas leave. She watched the strength in her movements build with each step until all the authority had returned to her before she was even completely out of sight down the street. 

Then, she looked down at her little bundle and opened it...and nearly fell to her knees when her eyes came to rest on the silver band Lireesa had worn for so very long. A silver band she hadn’t allowed Elenia to replace with something nicer when the bakery had become profitable. A silver band that, once placed on her finger, had never come off. It was plain. Simple. Discreet. And Elenia would have recognized the battered thing no matter what. 

_My heart_

She must have read the inscription on the inside of the band a hundred times before she finally clutched it against her chest and began making her way upstairs. It had been a subtle play on Lireesa’s name before her marriage. A gentle, constant reminder that, to Elenia, Lireesa’s past and her life in its entirety would always be of importance to her, even if forgotten by all others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was something about the sound of hooves on the paved streets of Silvermoon that was almost haunting. Especially when there was only one. Especially when it was riderless. Guided only by the presence of Alleria on his left and Vereesa on his right and draped by Lireesa’s cloak.

Sylvanas led the procession - her shining regalia obscured by the black cloth of the cloak all those who were marching wore. Black that matched the garb of those citizens of Silvermoon who lined the streets, driven into silence by grief, fear, and awe. There must have been nearly a hundred Rangers marching past them. A sight only the very old among them had ever even seen before. 

The marching, too, was different. Rangers made very little noise when they walked. Now was no exception. And each barely audible step was taken as one. Not a single foot misplaced. Not a single head turned. To any non-Quel’dorei it might have been a terrifying sight. 

Yet, the display had another effect. Pride. Pride that swelled in the hearts of the onlookers. Pride that even though war threatened the very foundations of their kingdom, their fallen General being granted an honor she had earned many times over. 

The march continued through the dawn that had barely lit their way in the Capital through roads and trails that led to the Enclave. They never paused or spoke. Not until they reached the clearing those that hadn’t taken part in the march had gathered in. 

Then, in a movement rehearsed and effortless, the marching units dispersed to either side and left a small band of Officers behind the sisters that were standing still where they’d stopped - sisters whose eyes had fallen on the pyre and the General dressed in black resting peacefully there. Resting, at long last. 

Only the sisters would approach the pyre. First Alleria. Alleria, who looked down at her mother, then leaned down to touch her forehead to Lireesa’s and whispered an apology so soft that no one else would ever hear it. 

Then, Vereesa. Vereesa, who allowed herself a moment to shed a few tears with her back to everyone else as she reached out to rest her hand over her mothers where they rested over her stomach. 

When it was finally time for Sylvanas to walk, she paused and glanced for the first time towards the small crowd at the edge of the clearing. When her eyes landed on Elenia, the woman simply smiled and shook her head. They’d said their goodbyes already. And Elenia much preferred those to this. 

Sylvanas knelt when she reached the pyre. She knelt and rested her forehead against Lireesa’s shoulder as she rested a hand against her arm. She’d had to fight against tradition to dress her in her preferred armor instead of the regalia she’d always hated. But that was a battle she’d won. The war paint, too, was there. Re-applied after Lireesa had been washed and readied, and Sylvanas traced along the thick black marking with her fingertips as her lips parted to emit a low, quiet murmur. 

“Elor bindel felallan morn’aminor.” The back of her throat ached once those words had left it. It was so difficult to stand. So difficult to remove her hand from her mother’s arm. And it felt like every eye in the Kingdom was on her as she made her solitary trek back. 

She stopped in front of Lireesa’s horse and ran her hand down his face as she reached up and pulled Lireesa’s cloak from his back. By the time she made it to Elenia, the crowd had parted somewhat in confusion. They’d watched her carefully fold that cloak on her way over. Watched the reverence with which Elenia took it from her. Then, Sylvanas pulled her close and spoke quietly into her ear. “Thank you, Lady Elenia. For loving her.” 

Sylvanas pulled back, then, and held the woman’s gaze for a moment before she turned back once more towards the horse who was waiting with an almost unnerving amount of stillness and patience. 

Alleria and Vereesa had faded into the Rangers behind her. The fires at the tips of her Officers’ arrows blazed impatiently. But it was Sylvanas’s order to give. She gave it without words. Just a nod. A faint motion that - if you hadn’t been looking for specifically - you might have missed. 

She turned just before they hit. She didn’t need to see the blaze to know it caught. She felt the heat against her back, too. Then, against her shoulder and her side as she swung herself up into the saddle of the horse that had once belonged to her mother. 

With a gentle flex of her leg against the horse’s side, he turned so she could face the Rangers and those few people who had been allowed to attend this part of the ceremony. They all - each and every one of them - bowed their heads. In recognition of their General...and of the one who had fallen before her. 

Sylvanas rode to the enclave alone as they began to disperse. 

She wouldn’t be seen again until morning. 

Now, at least, she could be alone. Alone to consider the duties that awaited her. To accept them and let them fully settle onto her shoulders as all Generals before her had. 

Only, she’d done that long ago. 

Instead, she would use this time to finally go through Lireesa’s parchments. To trace the exquisite curves of her handwriting and cradle her personal seal in her hands for a while longer before she replaced it with her own. 

And she would weep. 

 

  


"In The Mourning"  
Paramore

You escaped like a runaway train  
Off the tracks and down again  
And my heart's beating like a steam boat tugging all your burdens  
On my shoulders

In the mourning I'll rise  
In the mourning I'll let you die  
In the mourning all my worries.

Now there's nothing but time that's wasted  
And words that have no backbone  
And now it seems like the whole world's waiting  
Can you hear the echoes fading?

In the mourning I'll rise  
In the mourning I'll let you die  
In the mourning all my sorries.

And it takes all my strength not to dig you up  
From the ground in which you lay  
The biggest part of me  
You were the greatest thing  
And now you're just a memory  
To let go of.

In the mourning I'll rise  
In the mourning I'll let you die  
In the mourning all my sorries.

 


	22. Bed Of Lies

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Rest was something none of them were all that familiar with any longer. They were more familiar with hard ground beneath bedrolls and long, grueling treks through forests and villages. The smell of smoke, too, had been a common occurrence over months that had both crept and raced by all at once, somehow.

Things hadn’t gotten easier for any of them. Particularly Sylvanas and Velonara. Gods, had she tried to reach Sylvanas. Every night. Every day. All while following her orders without question when those were the roles they needed to play. 

However, nothing Velonara had done had tried had even begun to lessen the distance between them. Oh, sure, Sylvanas had moved past certain things. First, she’d eventually stopped waiting for Velonara to go to drift off before she went to their tent. Eventually, they’d even started sleeping together, again. But it was never like it used to be. Intimate moments were few and far between for them, now, despite how close they were on a near-constant basis. 

Perhaps that’s why the few days they’d had apart had felt like the first time Sylvanas could breathe in months. This was the first time Sylvanas had been back at the spire. She’d asked Velonara to come, of course. Though she wasn’t entirely sure what her motivation had been for doing so. Perhaps because it was what she was supposed to do. Perhaps because all of it was what she was supposed to do. 

No, Velonara had declined. She’d said she needed a few days to take care of things before she met Sylvanas here, in what could only be described as the ruins of her life. She hadn’t even bothered to activate the enchantments that had once made their home so bright. So warm. Because nothing would ever again make it full of life...so why should she have bothered? 

Three days. That’s how long she’d spent wandering these rooms. Pacing up and down the stairs. Sleeping fitfully in her parents’ bed. 

Sylvanas didn’t remember drifting off on the couch...but she must have been exhausted to not have woken when Velonara arrived. Not at first, anyway. Velonara took that opportunity to look at her in civilian clothes for what felt like the first time in ages. Even from here, she could tell how much Sylvanas had changed physically. Almost as much as everything else had changed, really. 

She was so hard. So lean. There were so many scars, now, though there were still none on her face. Or if there were, they were too old to be visible from here. Velonara realized she’d forgotten which cheek the one from their childhood was on, now. A mark that Velonara was, perhaps, the only one left who knew just what angle Sylvanas’s head needed to be turned in for it to be visible. 

A briar vine had put it there while they were playing. Velonara could still remember how Aravath had fussed over it while Lireesa chuckled at his worrying dismissively and cleaned it all while Sylvanas sat on the kitchen counter looking mildly pleased with herself. Her first scar. 

Velonara hadn’t realized a smile had snuck its way onto her face until it had already begun to fade. Then, when Sylvanas jerked awake and Velonara saw the disoriented terror in her eyes, she regretted not announcing herself. Especially when Sylvanas’s hand darted behind her own head. That was where her knife would have been if they’d been asleep in her tent. Unsheathed beneath her pillow. Waiting to be needed. 

And it had been. Perhaps that’s why Sylvanas released a shuddering breath as her eyelids drooped when her hand fell back to the sofa it had been resting upon. 

“I’m sorry, Syl.” Velonara murmured. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” 

A couple of years ago perhaps this would have been where Sylvanas smiled. Maybe even winked. It definitely would have been when she’d have told Velonara she’d been missing her. It might have even been when she called her closer with a little come-hither motion of a curled finger. 

Now, though, the General just turned her head to the side slowly after resting it back against the cushions once more. “No. I shouldn’t have slept so deeply.” 

“Can I sit with you?” Velonara asked quietly, though she felt no relief when Sylvanas nodded her assent. There would be no relief for her tonight. She just prayed she would bring some to her lover. Even if it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. 

When Velonara came to sit next to her, Sylvanas lifted her gaze to meet the other woman’s. The fear of her sudden awakening had left only to be replaced by an emptiness that never really seemed to go away. An emptiness that grated against the very core of Velonara’s being every time she saw it. 

Her left cheek. The scar was on her left cheek. Velonara reached out carefully to cradle the side of Sylvanas’s face in her hand so she could trace over it with her thumb. “I’ve never seen something so sad...and so beautiful.” She whispered as Sylvanas regarded her quietly. “And lost…” Velonara drew in a deep breath then and let her thumb come to rest against Sylvanas’s lips. “I’ve tried so hard to find you.” 

  
_”What’s wrong?” Sylvanas placed her quill down as she looked across the tent at Velonara, who was being uncharacteristically quiet and still._

_Velonara lifted her head slowly, then, and regarded Sylvanas with an unreadable expression on her face. “This.”_

_Sylvanas straightened in her seat as Velonara held their blanket around herself. “What is that supposed to mean?”_

_“I remember when you used to lay with me after you fucked me.”_

_Sylvanas would’ve expected there to be an accusatory edge to Velonara’s voice...but there wasn’t one. “I’m sorry.”_

_Velonara nodded and swallowed thickly past the uncomfortable feeling in her throat._

_“It’s okay.” She whispered, slowly turning her attention back to the floor of their tent before she moved to lay down on the large cot they now shared. Now that ‘tent’ had become ‘pavillion’. Now that everything had changed. “Goodnight.”_

  


When Sylvanas leaned in and brushed their lips together, Velonara parted her own for her as she always did. She brushed the tip of the other woman’s tongue with her own and allowed herself the selfishness of this kiss. The unabashed need to take something with her that she could remember as Sylvanas rested her fingertips along the side of her neck. 

But when Sylvanas’s hand began to trail towards her chest, Velonara reached for her wrist so she could remove it from herself gently as she broke the kiss. 

“You don’t have to do this anymore,” Velonara whispered though she couldn’t help the way her voice rasped as it came out. 

Sylvanas’s eyes fell shut immediately. She’d known. Of course, she had. How could she ever have hoped to hide anything from Velonara after so long? 

Yet, the insurmountable weight that constantly bore down on her felt suddenly lighter. If only by a fraction. 

And she hated herself for it. Especially when Velonara moved closer to her and kissed her temple. “I’m going to go, now.” 

Sylvanas shook her head and grasped the front of the other woman’s shirt tightly and far too quickly for Velonara to stop her. 

“You knew, Sylvanas.” Velonara murmured as she went to reach for her hand once again. “And I’ve let you carry this burden on top of all the others for far too long.” 

“One more time.” Sylvanas breathed as she found the crook of Velonara’s neck with her face and pulled her closer. “Vel, please. One more time.” 

“Sylvanas…”

“Make me feel something before you go.” 

“I can’t.” 

Sylvanas’s shoulders tensed against the truth of it that statement. “Try.” Once the word came out in a whisper against Velonara’s neck Sylvanas parted her lips and grazed her teeth there in the gentlest of bites. Coaxing. Pleading. 

Velonara wanted to. She wanted to give Sylvanas everything she needed. Everything she wanted. She always had. And when Sylvanas reached out to stroke up the side of her leg, she didn't stop her. “It never works, Syl. It never does.”

“For a little while, it does.” Sylvanas corrected her in a quiet murmur. “And that's all I'm asking for.” 

Velonara glanced around the darkened living area and pushed memories of when it had been anything but as far down into the recesses of mind as she could. It was easier not to think about those things when Sylvanas kissed the corner of her jaw and ran her tongue towards the lobe of her ear before biting it gently. 

“Go upstairs.” Velonara responded as she finally touched Sylvanas in return. When it finally became too much not to. Just a slow, warm caress along her stomach beneath her shirt. “Get ready for bed.” Sylvanas nodded and moved to do as Velonara had asked. 

Velonara’s hands shook faintly as she listened to Sylvanas’s feet of quietly up the stairs while she hunted down a bundle of herbs and found them right where they'd last been. They were expertly dried so even the months they'd been nestled away didn't matter. They still steeped just fine in the mug of steaming water she'd heated over the stove. She even found honey. Beautiful, golden honey with a lovey comb stowed inside the jar. Her eyes fell shut as she opened the lid and the scent hit her. Clover. A favorite of Sylvanas’s family. Oh, how Vereesa and Lirath had fought over that comb every time a new jar came home with Sylvanas on her furloughs while both of them looked on in amusement.

Velonara managed to catch a tear just before it fell as she turned from the counter holding the mug and made her way upstairs to find Sylvanas glancing around for a towel as she got out of the bath. Rather quickly, Velonara found one and brought it to her. Anything to stop thinking about who was going to urge her to eat, now. To stop thinking about the times that she had.

  


_”You aren't my mother, Velonara. She's dead if you'll recall.” Sylvanas hadn't even looked up from her maps as Velonara placed the dish of stew down on the edge of her desk._

_“I'm aware.” As cool as Velonara’s response had sounded, Sylvanas's ear flicked gently in recognition of the pain that hid behind her attempt at sounding detached._

_“I'll eat when I'm done,” Sylvanas offered - being more careful with the lilt of her words, this time. “...thank you.”_

_Velonara didn't respond before she left their tent. The thanks hadn't been genuine. None of it was, anymore. Not really._

  


“Thank you.” Sylvanas said quietly as she took the towel and gave her hair a course drying before she wrapped it around herself.

“Drink this, please.” Velonara relief as she handed the mug over.

“Sleep tea?”

“Yes.”

Any other night, Sylvanas might have protested. Just not tonight. Instead, nursed the mug deeply as she made her way into the bedroom to sit on the edge of the bed while Velonara got undressed nearby quickly then crawled onto the bedspread behind her. “You put honey in it.” Sylvanas remarked idly as Velonara brushed her lips against her bare shoulder. 

“Shh.”

Another touch of lips. This time at the nape of her neck while Velonara’s deft fingertips undid the towel to let it fall from her body. For a while, as Sylvanas drank, that was really all it was. Feather-light kisses against her shoulders and along her ears and fingertips trailing along her back and her sides.

Then, as if she knew the exact moment it would happen, Velonara reached for the mug when Sylvanas finished drinking from it and placed it on her bedside table. She was already pulling her hair up when Sylvanas turned to look at her, and she cast a glance in return that didn't linger much. Once her hair was out of the way, Velonara shifted slightly closer to the waiting woman and touched along her inner thigh lightly. “Do you want to lay down for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Lay down, then.” Velonara whispered as her hand moved slowly to the front of Sylvanas's throat. With the slightest pressure, she guided Sylvanas down onto her back and moved over her as she felt the woman's legs spread for her and cradle her between them. 

Sylvanas pressed her throat up into Velonara’s hand, but she removed it so quickly there was no real added weight. 

“Please.” Sylvanas whispered, finding Velonara’s hand and guiding it back up. 

Velonara let out a soft breath as she found Sylvanas’s neck with her hand again and her brow furrowed. “Be still, then. Don't do that again.” 

Sylvanas nodded and Velonara sighed softly as she felt some of the tensing in the other woman ease. Sylvanas wanted what she’d asked for quickly, and Velonara wanted to give it to her. So, she pressed her free hand between them and ran her fingertips slowly against hot, silken skin as she applied gentle pressure with her free hand. She couldn’t really remember, anymore, the last time they’d slept together that it hadn’t taken an unusual amount of effort on her part to get her wet. 

The woman who had, such a short time ago, preferred slow, soft touches from Velonara was certainly not the same woman that was beneath her now - tugging at the hand between her legs until Velonara pressed her fingers into her after wetting them against her own tongue. This, Sylvanas didn’t like slow anymore, either. 

She’d never directly asked Velonara to hurt her. She just always wanted more. Until Velonara had one hand tangled in her hair in order to press Sylvanas’s face up against her shoulder as her elbow dug into the bed for leverage and her other hand was moving rapidly between them. 

Sylvanas was pressing her heels into the bed sharply as her nails bit into the skin of Velonara’s back. The noises that escaped her against Velonara’s skin brought more heat into her cheeks and ears than the actual act did. They were guttural. Desperate. And, occasionally, pleading. Quiet little whimpers of Velonara’s name. “Harder.” She gasped out, using her strength to lift herself onto one arm to give Velonara more room between them. 

“I know.” Velonara murmured, drawing in a deep, sharp breath as her lungs began to burn against the sheer effort of breathing. The next few moments found her turning Sylvanas onto her stomach and tugging her hips up with one hand as the other grasped her hair. Like this, with nothing in the way, she could finally get Sylvanas where she wanted to be. Lost. Utterly. Grasping at the sheets as her body finally seemed to finally catch up to her mind. To the fact that Velonara was going to make her come no matter what it took because that’s what Sylvanas needed. 

When she did, Velonara quickly moved a hand beneath her stomach to lower her down against the bed as she shivered in the aftershocks of it. It had worked, of course. It always did. In these moments - as short as they were - Sylvanas could just feel Velonara’s hands stroking along her legs and her back and anywhere else they could reach. She could be free of the constant worries and fears and memories that had become the entirety of her existence. 

This time, though, she didn’t reach for Velonara as she lay there. The tea had been strong. Or maybe she was just too exhausted to fight it once it started taking its hold. She’d been about to apologize when she remembered what this was. When her eyes found Velonara where she’d finally moved to sit on the edge of the bed. With an unintelligible murmur, she began to move to make room for her to lay down. 

Velonara just shook her head softly and reached out to stroke through Sylvanas’s still-drying hair one more time. She even caught the earring that dangled from her ear and looked at it for just a moment before finally pulling her hand back. “I’m not staying, Syl.” She whispered before her jaw clenched as she reached for her leggings and began pulling them on. 

And she knew Sylvanas wasn’t going to stop her. 

“So this is it?” Sylvanas managed to ask as her eyelids began to droop. 

Velonara’s eyes shut as a slightly pained expression crossed her features before she chased it away quickly with a soft, sad smile. “Yes. This isn’t good for you. This isn’t good for us. You can’t stop being what our people need...but you _can_ stop trying so hard to be what I need.” 

Velonara pulled her boots on as an almost numb feeling settled over her while she stood to gather her shirt from the floor. 

“I tried.” Sylvanas whispered from behind her. So soft and so broken that Velonara couldn’t help but turn to look at her. 

“You did.” She agreed quietly before moving back towards the bed and reaching for the blankets to pull them over Sylvanas’s body so she wasn’t so exposed. “For so long.” She leaned down and kissed Sylvanas’s temple before brushing her nose across her hair as she lifted her head. Just to remind herself one last time how it smelled when it was freshly washed and still damp. “But you don’t need to anymore.” 

A slow, shuddering sigh of relief left Sylvanas as she wilted into the bed and shut her eyes. 

She stayed until Sylvanas drifted off. It didn’t take all that long, really. But as she made her way down familiar stairs and took one last look around the equally familiar room she found herself in, she wondered exactly when it had happened. When Sylvanas had stopped being Sylvanas and started being the General. Was it when her mother died? When she came home to her father and her brother being carried out of her home beneath sheets? The first village they’d come upon that was nothing but ash and embers? 

Velonara wasn’t sure when. She was only sure that it had happened, and that it had been a long time since there had been room for her in the aftermath. She didn’t allow herself to hope that it might someday change. She didn’t allow herself to fantasize that one day, Sylvanas could be both, again. 

She just kept walking. 

  


_”Sylvanas?”_

_Velonara felt strangely nervous as she shifted a little closer to the other girl in the saddle they were sharing. She felt even more nervous when her eyes settled on her from over her shoulder._

_“Do you think we’ll always be friends?” If her heart had been beating quickly before, it was attempting to outrun her, now. She just didn’t understand why. She wouldn’t. Not for a long time, at least._

_And then Sylvanas smiled and it all went away. The nerves. The worry. The fear of losing her._

_“I know we’ll always be friends.”_

_She sounded so certain to Velonara. Like she always did._

_“How are you so sure?”_

_But even Velonara’s doubt didn’t seem to bother her. Very little did, actually._

_“I just am. You’ve always been my best friend...I don’t want you to ever not be.”_

_“I don’t ever want to not be, either.”_

  
  


"Bed Of Lies"  
Matchbox 20

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning  
I am

Don't think that I can take another empty moment  
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile  
It's not enough just to be lonely  
Don't think that I could take another talk about it

Just like me you got needs  
And they're only a whisper away  
And we softly surrender  
To these lives that we've tendered away

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning  
I am

Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over  
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong  
Where it's not enough just to be sorry

Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in  
Tried to be more than me  
And I gave till it all went away  
And we've only surrendered  
To the worst part of these winters we've made

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning  
I am

I am all that I'll ever be  
When you - lay your hands  
Over me but don't go weak on me now  
I know that it's weak  
But God help me I need this

I will not sleep in this bed of lies  
So toss me out and turn in  
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes  
I'm marking it down to learning  
I'm marking it down to learning  
'Cause I am

 


	23. Ode To My Family

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Anya didn’t need to look back at Sylvanas to know just what she looked like lounging on her cot. This wasn’t their first night together. This wasn’t the first night she’d gotten dressed to slip through the darkness outside and back to her own tent. It didn’t bother her, of course. The Ranger-General was a talented lover and lovely to look at, after all. Everyone who had shared a bed with her knew that much.

“You’re quiet tonight.” Sylvanas’s voice was low and soft as she reached out to touch along Anya’s lower back just before her shirt slid down to cover it. 

“You don’t usually want to talk,” Anya explained simply before she stood and reached to retrieve her boots, which she sank down to the floor of the tent to slide on. 

Sylvanas sighed as she watched Anya finish dressing. No. She didn’t usually want to talk. Truth be told, she missed just...talking. She missed having something real. Something more than a few fleeting moments of pleasure. 

“And you still don’t.” Anya continued, though there was no hurt in her tone. Everyone who had found themselves with Sylvanas since Velonara knew what they were there for. It had never been presented as something more than it was and, frankly, there wasn’t really time for much else. The tide of the war had only just begun to turn in their favor. 

Sylvanas pushed herself up on the edge of her large cot and didn’t bother to cover herself as she leaned forward with her arms against her knees. “Did you come here this evening to critique every aspect of my existence, Anya?” 

“No.” Another short, simple answer as Anya finally stood now that she was fully clothed again. Yet, it was an answer that didn’t feel final. In fact, the air was heavy with what was being left unsaid. 

Sylvanas didn’t ask her to continue. She’d known Anya long enough to know that she would anyway. 

“Nobody is ever going to be her, Sylvanas. You know that, though, don’t you?” 

“You’re overstepping, Anya.” Sylvanas warned quietly as she reached for the sheets and finally pulled them over her own lap. 

“Mm. You were singing a different song earlier, General.” 

“Anya-”

“Is that because you were thinking of her while you were touching me?” 

Anya saw the way Sylvanas’s jaw set and the way her ears angled back. She just didn’t particularly care, right now. “It’s okay, you know. Well. It’s not, really. It’s not okay that you still haven’t spoken to her. It’s not okay that you put so much effort into lying yourself. But it really is okay that she’s who you wish was in your bed. It’s to be expected, really. You love her. You always have. Since we were kids.” 

“That’s quite enough, Anya. You’d do well to remember who you answer to. Goodnight.” Sylvanas reached for her leggings and tugged them on rather roughly, then before throwing her shirt over her head as she stood and made her way towards the entrance of the tent. 

“How could I forget?” Anya asked as her eyes followed Sylvanas’s path, though she didn’t make any move to leave. “Sylvanas, I know what you lost. We all do. What I don’t understand is why you made the decision to lose even more than you had to.” 

“It wasn’t a decision.” Sylvanas spat back in return as her ears lifted suddenly when the anger and indignance she was feeling refused to be hidden any longer. “How...you have...either get out of my tent or find yourself in another unit come tomorrow. I’ve had enough of your _wisdom_ for one night. You have no idea what you’re talking about. None whatsoever.” 

Anya didn’t say anything. She simply crossed her arms over her chest as Sylvanas paced back towards her cot past her and turned around to face her again. 

“I would have thought you’d have more respect for me and for my position by now. I won’t have you here treating me like a child. Do you think other women wouldn’t give anything to be in your position? To know what it’s like to be here with me?” 

“Mm. I’m certain they would. And none of them would ever get from you what has always only belonged to one person.”

It was then that Sylvanas finally seemed to realize how she sounded...and how close her voice was to breaking. Anya had touched a vein. That might have been an understatement, really. 

“Are you done?” Anya asked, watching as Sylvanas plopped down on the edge of her cot. 

“Fuck you.” 

“Are you?” She repeated, though her voice had softened somewhat. 

Sylvanas swallowed thickly and ran her hands over her face and through her hair before she averted her attention to the far side of her pavilion. 

“Good. Now, let’s talk.” Anya didn’t seem all that worried as she approached Sylvanas and sat next to her on the cot. She wasn’t, really. Sometimes the General reminded her of a peacock. Bold and intimidating in the most beautiful ways. But when she wasn’t filling the role she hid behind, she was as lost as the rest of them if not more so, and it was hard to see her struggle the way she did. It got harder every day, really. 

“I didn’t mean for it to be like this.” Sylvanas whispered as she rested her forehead in her own hand and her hair fell to shield the side of her face that was nearest to Anya. Anya let her have that, at least. “I...I couldn’t stand to feel. I couldn’t stand to face what opening myself up to it did to me. What it meant. I have a job to do, Anya. I can’t just…”

“But you can.” Anya murmured when Sylvanas trailed off. “I’d be happy to keep this up, you know. I’m not exactly complaining. But I’m also not doing you any favors, and I owe you more than that.” 

When Sylvanas remained silent, Anya sighed quietly and looked over at her. “Do you remember that jump in the forest? When I almost snapped my ankle? Do you know that I’ve never made that mistake, again? Not even once?”

“Is this some sort of ‘taking a leap’ metaphor, because I really don’t think I have the energy for it, Anya.” 

The Ranger laughed quietly and finally reached out to draw Sylvanas’s hair behind her ear. “No. Just me getting nostalgic, that’s all. Listen, you know I’ll come whenever you need me to. It’s just...you were my friend before you were my General.” 

Sylvanas nodded faintly and reached up to catch Anya’s hand before she could pull it away. “Goodnight.” She whispered as she turned her face towards Anya’s palm to brush a kiss against it. 

“It’s hard not to imagine how you were with her.” Anya admitted quietly as she slowly pulled away so she could leave. “Breathtaking, I’m sure.” 

Sylvanas murmured quietly, but there was no real attempt at forming any coherent response. Anya left her as she turned away to lay down. It had been a long time since Sylvanas had felt this raw, and it was just easier to find escape in sleep than confront it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I was worried you wouldn’t come.” Sylvanas said softly as she wrapped her sister in her arms after shutting the door behind her. 

“Of course I came.” Vereesa responded as she buried her face against Sylvanas’s chest and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of relative safety. Home would never be the same, again...but it wasn’t often she got to be here with her. This was something to be cherished. 

“I’ll have to thank your captain for giving you leave.” Sylvanas said as she finally pulled back away from Vereesa and offered her a faint smile. 

“Pretty sure it wasn’t all that optional, considering who put in the request.” 

“I’m allowed a favor here and there, I think.” Sylvanas quipped before taking Vereesa’s hand and leading her towards the kitchen. That was the first time Vereesa noticed the smell of something cooking. 

“God, what are you making?” 

Sylvanas sulked as she looked down into the pot at her best attempt at a stew once she made it to the stove. “Stew. I think.” She replied as she stirred it. “Maybe soup.” 

Vereesa stared at her for a moment or two then put her bag down onto the counter. “You’re lucky.” She responded as she pulled out a cloth-wrapped bundle and opened it up. “We have wine at least, right?”

“Are those meat pies?” Sylvanas asked as she eyed them over her sister’s shoulder. 

“Mhm. Venison. From the bakery. Aunty Elle wanted me to give you her regards.” 

Sylvanas nodded as she pulled herself up onto the counter after giving up on her cooking for the night. Instead, she picked up one of the pies and took a healthy bite. This was her first taste of something other than field rations in longer than she cared to remember and this about as far from rations as you could get. She’d almost forgotten how good a baker Elenia was. 

“I’ve missed you, you know.” Sylvanas said quietly as Vereesa pulled herself up as well next to her sister. 

“Then why are you still keeping me stationed there? Why am I not closer to you?” 

“We’ve been over this.” Sylvanas responded, her agitation becoming immediately apparent. “I’m keeping you safe. That’s my job.” 

“Hey…” Vereesa said quietly. “Hey, I’m sorry. Don’t get upset.” 

Sylvanas drew in a slow breath and shook her head as she reached out to stroke Vereesa’s shoulder. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Little Moon. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” 

“You don’t know what’s wrong with you?” Vereesa asked with a lift of her brows. “I could name a few reasons why you’re on edge. Let’s just enjoy our weekend together and work based upon the assumption that you’re probably going to act like a person who’s been leading an army in a war. That seems reasonable to me.”

Sylvanas looked down at their feet hanging off the counter and lifting a hand quickly to catch a tear that was threatening to slip down her cheek as she laughed almost nervously. “How’d you grow up so fast on me, Little Moon?” 

“Had a good example, I guess.” 

“Buttering me up?” Sylvanas asked after finally taking another bite of her pie. 

“Maybe I’m just waiting for you to pour us some of that wine I asked about.” Vereesa replied with a smirk. 

Sylvanas could do little else but respond to that request with a quiet laugh as she slipped off the counter and found one of the rather nice bottles she’d kept around.

“Have you heard from Alleria?” Vereesa asked after taking her first, appreciative sip. 

“Not directly. You know Alleria.” 

Vereesa laughed quietly and grabbed the rest of the pies. “Bring the bottle.” 

Sylvanas smiled at Vereesa mischievously and chuckled as she obeyed and followed her little sister into the living room. One bottle eventually turned into a second and more mundane conversation turned into occasional giddy laughter about Vereesa’s love-life that Sylvanas was convinced _must_ exist despite her sister’s protests. 

Eventually, though, the laughter began to die down. Eventually, it turned into a silence that stretched on for what felt like ages. 

“I’m sorry, Little Moon.” Sylvanas murmured as she looked down at the half-empty wine bottle in her hand. “I’m so sorry.” 

Vereesa looked up at her sister from where her head was resting on the floor next to her and frowned in confusion. “Why?” 

“I know you miss them. I know it isn’t fair. And I’m just so sorry that I couldn’t keep this from touching you.” 

Vereesa sat up quickly as her breath caught in her throat. The mood had shifted so suddenly that she had trouble processing those words at first, even though she was already reaching out to touch her sister’s hair. “Sylvanas...there wasn’t anything…” She trailed off as her sister turned to face her and pulled her into an impossibly tight hug. “You miss them, too.” Vereesa whispered as she wrapped her arms around Sylvanas in turn. 

“Every day, Vereesa. Every day.” And she did. Not a moment went by when her mother’s voice wasn’t somewhere in the back of her mind. When she wasn’t thinking back to one of her lessons as she fought for her very life and the lives of her people. The lives of what little was left of her family...

“You’ve never talked about it.” Vereesa continued as she moved the bottle from between them and out of the way. 

“I don’t need to. But I knew you did. I knew I should have talked to you. I should’ve been there. Been a better sister to you. I’m sorry for that, too.” There was a certain bitter hurt in her tone. Not for herself, but for Vereesa and all the ways she felt she’d failed her. 

Vereesa pulled back and shook her head dismissively. “You’re the best sister. But that’s not all that you are. You’re so much more than that. You’re winning this war, Sylvanas. A war we’ve thought wasn’t even winnable more often than not. You can be a sister more often after, alright? It’s a little hard to reconcile what you need to be for our people and what you think you need to be for me, don’t you think?” 

Sylvanas exhaled sharply and covered her face with her hand as she nodded and gathered herself until she was sure she could speak again. “Yes. Yeah.” She leaned back against the sofa they were sitting in front of and let her head fall against the cushions as she felt at least a little of the weight she’d been carrying lift from her shoulders. “After, then. You can come home. We can be here, together. Take care of it together...I’ll make it all up to you.” 

Vereesa hadn’t really been prepared for that offer, and it left her rather speechless. Speechlessness that lasted long enough for Sylvanas to look over at her and lift a hand to cradle her cheek. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Moon. I promise you that with all my heart. I’ll keep you safe. Please believe that.” 

Vereesa nodded immediately. “I believe you.” She replied almost urgently as she lifted her hand to cover her sister’s on her face. 

So much had been left unsaid between them for so long, that they each just took the next little while to appreciate the feeling of having it all out in the open. They were full. A little wine-drunk. And they had each other. For a couple of days, at least. That was better than either of them had had in a long time. 

Eventually, they were both dozing comfortably on the sofa - Sylvanas propped in the corner of it, and Vereesa spread along the length with her head in her lap. 

Neither of them stirred until they each heard a quiet, yet rapid knocking at the front door of the spire. Sylvanas groaned quietly and her ear flicked in the direction of the noise as she helped Vereesa sit up. 

“It’s probably Lor’themar.” Sylvanas mumbled. “He wasn’t supposed to stop by until tomorrow morning, but...you know him.” 

Vereesa sighed and nodded and began shuffling towards the door as Sylvanas started to clean up their mess. She made it to the kitchen by the time Vereesa got to the door. 

“Lor’themar? Is that you?” 

“Vereesa?” 

Sylvanas froze where she stood and turned her attention sharply towards the door. 

“Vereesa, it’s Alleria.” They both heard the panicked sob through the door in a voice that could only belong to their sister. 

“Please, let me in. Please. I need help.”

Ode To My Family  
The Cranberries

Understand the things I say  
Don't turn away from me  
'Cause I've spent half my life out there  
You wouldn't disagree

Do you see me, do you see?  
Do you like me  
Do you like me standing there?  
Do you notice, do you know  
Do you see me, do you see me?  
Does anyone care?

Unhappiness where's when I was young  
And we didn't give a damn  
'Cause we were raised  
To see life as fun and take it if we can  
My mother, my mother  
She'd hold me  
She'd hold me when I was out there  
My father, my father  
He liked me, well he liked me  
Does anyone care?

Understand what I've become  
It wasn't my design  
And people everywhere think  
Something better than I am

But I miss you, I miss  
'Cause I liked it  
'Cause I liked it  
When I was out there  
Do you know this, do you know  
You did not find me  
You did not find  
Does anyone care?

Unhappiness where's when I was young  
And we didn't give a damn  
'Cause we were raised  
To see life as fun and take it if we can  
My mother, my mother  
She'd hold me  
She'd hold me when I was out there  
My father, my father  
He liked me, well he liked me  
Does anyone care?


	24. Let Me Go

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Sylvanas rushed to the door as Vereesa opened it and Alleria half-stumbled into her arms. Pregnant. Gasping for breath and grimacing. Sylvanas felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach as Vereesa froze and turned her wide eyes on her. 

Quickly, Sylvanas took Alleria from her arms and swallowed against the dryness in her throat as she shook her head in confusion and led her over to the sofa to lay down. “Alleria...Alleria, what’s happened?” 

Alleria let out a quiet sob as the tensing of her muscles finally relaxed and Sylvanas wiped at the sweat that had gathered across her forehead. “I’m having a baby, Sylvanas. I...I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do, god, I’m so scared. Please, Sylvanas.”

Sylvanas turned her attention back to Vereesa as she found Alleria’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze. Her mind raced wildly, clamoring for what to do. Mom would have known. Mom would have known what to do. 

“Vereesa.” She finally said - the urgency in her voice snapping her little sister out of her stunned stupor. “Velonara.”

“What about her?” She demanded as her brow furrowed in confusion and she shook out her hands to try and make them stop tingling. 

“Her father was a midwife before he died. She’s on leave. No, I didn’t plan that. Go to Goldenmist. She’ll come. _Quickly_ , Vereesa.” 

Sylvanas had never been so terrified to be alone in all her life. It wasn’t long before she was sweating as much as Alleria - running back and forth to get warm water and towels while changing out the cool, damp one that was resting across her forehead. Her hand was more bruised and sore than she might ever care to admit by the time she heard the furious pounding of hooves in the courtyard of the spires. Velonara must have leapt from the back of her horse, because she was bursting through the door no more than a second or two later. 

“Where is she?” Velonara demanded, a certain measure of steely calm in her voice. Sylvanas turned to look at her helplessly, and Velonara largely ignored her on her way over. She dropped a bag at the side of the sofa and glanced quickly at everything Sylvanas had gathered before nodding. “Good. Stand by her head and hold her hands, help her with her breathing, and stay out of my way.” 

Sylvanas obeyed quickly and silently. It was almost comical that, after everything she’d seen, this was what she got light-headed over. Yet, Velonara’s occasional warning glances were enough to keep her in her place and relatively steady on her feet. 

It wasn’t an easy birth. Velonara was exhausted by the time everything was said and done and the child, a little half-elf by the name of Arator, was swaddled at his mother’s breast. Sylvanas watched Velonara almost sheepishly as she finally drooped with fatigue and made her way towards the door as she spoke. “I need some air.”

Sylvanas clenched her jaw as she watched her go before glancing in Vereesa’s direction. “Can...can you watch her? Please?”

Vereesa nodded distractedly as she smiled and fussed over the baby in Alleria’s arms while Alleria tried her best not to drift off. Okay, then. It was clear Vereesa had no problem with that request. 

Sylvanas had to half-jog just to catch up with Velonara as the woman made it to the edge of the courtyard and stopped. “Whatever you’re about to say - it can wait. You aren’t beholden to me. I’ve loved your family for as long as I’ve loved you. This wasn’t a favor. This isn’t something you owe me anything for.” 

Sylvanas’s steps slowed as she listened to words that stung, but she kept walking, regardless. She deserved those words and worse. So much worse. She produced a wineskin that she’d grabbed on her way out and Velonara looked down at it for a moment before taking it from Sylvanas’s hand to drink deeply from it. She passed it back nearly empty, but didn’t say anything else. 

“What if what I have to say can’t wait, anymore? What if it’s already waited for far too long?” Sylvanas asked quietly as she stood at Velonara’s shoulder almost pensively. “You don’t owe me anything at all, Velonara. Quite the opposite. But if I may be so bold as to request a few more moments of your time, I would.” 

Velonara stared out into the darkness of the forest for a while longer before she turned to look at Sylvanas. They each saw things in each other’s eyes. Velonara looked so tired that it hurt Sylvanas physically to see it. And Sylvanas...Sylvanas looked so scared. Yet determined. 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Velonara asked. “If you’re going to attempt to explain your dalliances to me, there’s no need. I’ve had some of my own. I’m sure you know that. I don’t need explanations. Alleria has nothing to do with what’s passed between us. The situations are separate. I would have come, regardless.” 

Sylvanas wasn’t used to being questioned so openly. To being dressed down like this. Velonara knew that. Yet, the way she just stood and listened was surprising. Unexpected. 

“I haven’t come to explain anything, Velonara. I’ve come to ask you to walk with me. To listen, if you have the time.” 

“I…” Velonara trailed off as Sylvanas waited patiently for her answer. She hated the way her heart fluttered in her chest. “I would rather sit, if I’m being entirely honest. I rode hard here as it is and that was hours ago.” 

Sylvanas hadn’t even noticed the sky was already going slightly grey with the approaching dawn. 

“The beach, then?” She asked quietly, exhaling evenly to avoid a sigh of relief when Velonara nodded. 

She was quiet on the way there. The only change in the way she walked was when she lifted her hands to unclamped her cloak so that she could spread it along the sand for them to sit on. 

Once they were both comfortably looking out at the water, Sylvanas swallowed rather thickly to check that her throat would even work for her right now. Her eyes shut as she began. “I’m a good General...” 

Velonara might have rolled her eyes had Sylvanas not continued that statement.

“And a piss-poor person...and an even worse lover.” 

Velonara froze. Sylvanas continued. 

“And, above all, a coward.” Sylvanas’s voice was almost a whisper, now. 

“There was one person left in this world who truly knew me after I lost them, and that was you. For some reason, I didn’t want that. I couldn’t handle the thought of someone knowing there was no real strength behind the mask I had so carefully constructed.”

“That isn’t true.” Velonara’s voice sounded rushed. Hurt. “You aren’t a coward, Sylvanas, please-“

“I am.” Sylvanas interrupted her as she turned her eyes to her. There was an almost calm resolve in them. “If there isn’t a blade or a bow in my hands I’m as good as useless.” 

Velonara exhaled sharply as her brow furrowed and she shifted on the blanket as she shook her head. Before she could protest, again - Sylvanas stopped her with one statement. The one thing Velonara had needed so badly - the one thing Sylvanas hadn’t been able to give her. Until now. 

“But I never, not for a single moment, stopped loving you. No matter how I tried. No matter what I did. I never stopped.” 

Velonara lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she turned away and pushed herself up from the cloak so quickly Sylvanas had no hope of reaching for her. She stood anyway and followed her to the edge of the surf, though she hung back a few steps as she saw Velonara’s head fall. 

“I’m not asking for anything, Vel.” Sylvanas said carefully. “I just need you to know that have always been aware of how badly I hurt you. Of the fact that I hurt you every single day. For months. I saw it in your eyes and I ignored it. I was selfish and cold and you deserved the entire world on a silver platter yet I stripped what little you had left of it away. I just need you to know.” 

Velonara crossed one of her arms over her chest as her hand stayed pressed tightly over her mouth and she tried to focus her blurry, burning eyes out over the water. How could words cut so deeply and heal so much at the same time? 

“I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” Sylvanas finally said as she walked until she was within arms’ reach of her. “If you choose to let me.” 

“Can...can you give me a moment, Sylvanas? Please?” Velonara’s voice was quiet, but she managed to keep the tremor at bay. Sylvanas retreated to her cloak immediately and sat down as her mouth went dry. As much as she’d convinced herself she didn’t expect anything - that didn’t mean she didn’t have an endless string of regrets battering her from every direction. 

It felt like forever that Velonara stood there just at the edge of her vision. It felt like forever before she turned and made her way over and sat down next to her slowly. Even longer before she spoke. 

“I spent so long hoping this would happen.” She finally said as Sylvanas stared down at the way the moon caught the golden filigree on the edge of her cloak. Anything to distract herself from what she was certain was coming. From the terrible reality of the fact that there was no getting this back. That she’d waited too long. Done too much damage. 

Velonara drew in a deep breath before she finally continued. “I knew it was best for you. It just hurt. It hurt so much to let you go. Then I realized I hadn’t. I tried a lot of things.” Velonara drew her legs to fold them in front of herself so she could lean forward. Anything so that she didn’t have to look at Sylvanas, right now. Anything to keep her emotions in check. 

“None of it worked. I think you must know that feeling. I mean...that was presumptuous of me, I know.”

“It wasn’t.” Sylvanas replied quietly. “Nothing is the same. Nothing is like you.” 

When Velonara turned her head in response to that, Sylvanas’s brow furrowed when she saw tears staining her cheeks. Perhaps she hadn’t realized they matched her own. 

“After everything we’ve lost, losing you was the worst part. You were the one thing I couldn’t move past.” Velonara lifted a hand, then, to wipe her face slowly - and Sylvanas winced at the way her fingertips trembled.

“Vel, I don’t know how much longer you expect me not to touch you. I really…” Sylvanas trailed off as she shifted almost uncomfortably. It almost physically hurt to not reach for her. To comfort her. 

Velonara was the first to move. Just a hand resting on Sylvanas’s cloak between them, at first. Soon, though, she was moving towards Sylvanas to lean into her almost awkwardly, considering how they were sitting. 

Yet, Sylvanas pulled her in her arms quickly. Tightly. Like she was terrified of what would happen if she let go. 

Their breaths came sharply. Rapidly, as Velonara buried her face against the side of Sylvanas’s neck and Sylvanas gathered her shirt into her fists. Velonara wasn’t sure what she’d been trying to say. All she knew was that nothing more than a whimper passed her lips, instead. 

“Vel, I promise you I’ve been nothing but truthful with you about this. About us. I swear with everything that I am. Please let me love you. Let me apologize. Let me try to be what you deserve, and I’ll never stop trying, again. Ever.” 

“Don’t you dare disappear on me, again.” Velonara whispered as she pulled back to look into Sylvanas’s eyes. “Don’t you fucking dare, Sylvanas Windrunner.” Velonara couldn’t do much about the way her breath dragged through her throat, suddenly, as she reached up to cradle the sides of the other woman’s face in her hands. It was a bit rougher, perhaps, than she meant it. But Sylvanas didn’t budge. “I don’t know if I’d make it a second time.” 

It had cost Velonara to admit that. It had cost her a great deal. If Sylvanas hadn’t already known that, the way she leaned into her and let her head fall against her chest would have confirmed it beyond a shadow of a doubt. “You won’t have to. You won’t. I made a mistake. I can’t take it back, but I promise I won’t make it again.” 

Velonara nodded against her and made the softest, most broken noise Sylvanas had ever heard when she finally, tentatively lifted a hand to stroke through her hair. 

“Fuck.” Velonara whispered as she pressed one of her hands over Sylvanas’s heart against her chest. “I’m sorry. I just missed you. I missed the way you smell.” 

Sylvanas didn’t really think before she lifted Velonara’s chin to kiss her. Not until their lips were almost touching did she stop herself. It was the pressure of Velonara’s hand against her chest that did it. Pushing away. Just slightly. Then clutching at her shirt. Digging her fingers into it as she gasped softly - so close that Sylvanas felt her breath. 

Velonara was the next to lean in, and Sylvanas parted her lips as she had to stop herself from jerking back in surprise. It took a moment. It took a moment to remember just how they had fit together before. A soft graze of Sylvanas’s lower lip against Velonara’s upper one caused them both to shift closer to each other. Caused Velonara to pull strongly at Sylvanas’s shirt and Sylvanas’s hand in her hair to twine into the strands and tug. 

Sylvanas had been about to utter an apology for that when Velonara tilted her head and finally… _finally_ pressed their lips together. But it was Sylvanas who deepened the kiss. Or, parted her lips in a silent plea for Velonara to do it for her. It didn’t matter, really. What mattered was how it felt to reclaim what had once belonged so utterly only to them. 

They wound up caught up in each other quickly after that. There was sand everywhere as Sylvanas’s knees dug into it when they both knelt up and she pulled Velonara against herself, only moving when the other woman’s hands pressed between them and began tugging at the front of her pants. 

She broke the kiss when Velonara slipped her fingertips into her breeches and gasped sharply at how wet she’d gotten. At how quickly it had happened. It was all Sylvanas could do to hold onto her for a while. Soon, though, she wanted what Velonara already had. She wanted to touch her. She wanted to feel that Velonara still needed her. 

They leaned into each other - panting harshly as their hands worked almost in unison on one another. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t slow. But it was so very needed. An affirmation that, yes, they still knew this dance. 

Velonara was still in a daze as the early morning light bathed Sylvanas in the gentlest glow - caught the granules of sand scattered throughout the strands of her hair and made them glint softly. She noted, suddenly, that she was wrapped in the other woman’s cloak. They hadn’t even gotten undressed, yet Sylvanas had still…

It had been so long since she’d caught a glimpse of this side of her that it took Velonara’s breath away. The gradual opening of Sylvanas’s eyes into little slits of greyish light, though, drew Velonara’s hand up so that she could trace down the side of her face with her fingertips. 

“I need to check on Alleria.” Velonara finally murmured. 

Sylvanas nodded. Yet, it took a few more moments for them to finally begin to sit up - to fix each other's clothes like they might have once upon a time. 

Velonara watched, then, as Sylvanas retrieved her cloak from the ground and attempted to shake it out. 

“Sylvanas?” 

She stopped immediately and looked over at Velonara. There was clear worry in her eyes. 

Velonara shook her head to dismiss it before she spoke. “I never stopped loving you, either. I could never. I won’t ever.” 

As Sylvanas stood there looking stunned, Velonara approached her and took her cloak from her, tucking it beneath her arm and kissing the corner of her mouth. “I won’t change my mind. I promise. Just don’t change yours.” 

“I couldn’t if I tried.” Sylvanas admitted, glancing down when she felt Velonara’s fingertips against her own. Just touching. Not quite holding. 

“I believe you.”

“Let Me Go”  
Avril Lavigne

Love that once hung on the wall  
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing  
The echoes are gone in the hall  
But I still remember, the pain of December

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say  
I'm sorry it's too late

I'm breaking free from these memories  
Gotta let it go, just let it go  
I've said goodbye  
Set it all on fire  
Gotta let it go, just let it go

You came back to find I was gone  
And that place is empty, like the hole that was left in me  
Like we were nothing at all  
It's not that you meant to me  
Thought we were meant to be

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say  
I'm sorry it's too late

I'm breaking free from these memories  
Gotta let it go, just let it go  
I've said goodbye  
Set it all on fire  
Gotta let it go, just let it go

I let it go, and now I know  
A brand new life, down this road  
Where it's right, you always know  
So this time, I won't let go

There's only one thing left here to say  
Love's never too late

I've broken free from these memories  
I've let it go, I've let it go  
And two goodbyes, lend you this new life  
Don't let me go, don't let me go

Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go

Won't let you go, don't let me go


	25. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I don't like walking around this old and empty house  
>  **So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear**_

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“Sylvanas?” 

The news had spread like wildfire. Velonara wondered how long it had taken it to reach Sylvanas. She wondered how many people had known before her. Not many, perhaps. She was the General, after all. News of a lost Captain would reach her rather quickly. Especially if that Captain was her sister. No one thought less of her when she’d excused herself until the time of the memorial service. Days from now, still. 

But Lor’themar had thought to inform Velonara when Sylvanas declined a visit from him. And Velonara had never ridden so fast in her life. Not even the last time she’d seen Alleria. Right here. Right in this very room. She swallowed thickly as she shut the door to close herself into the heavy, suffocating silence of the Spire. She got no answer, but she knew Sylvanas was here. Somewhere. 

“Syl?” She walked around the darkened living area, her ears shifting at every sound, even if it was only the echo of her own boots on the marble floor. Duller than it used to be. Not so finely polished as it had been, once upon a time. Such a short time ago, really. 

Still nothing. Her eyes fell on the grand, twisting staircase that lined the circular walls and she reached out to touch over the curled banister of honeyed wood, golden and deep. This, at least, still had some of its shine. Kept relatively pristine by the passing of fine leather gloves over its grain. 

Her heart hammered in her chest as she began passing bedrooms. Dark. Bereft of the life that had once bubbled happily from them. Life that had once warmed this Spire with its brilliance. This wasn’t the first time she’d observed this absence. This was just...the worst time. Somehow. She hadn’t thought it possible for it to get any worse. Surely, Sylvanas had been through enough for a lifetime. For more than a lifetime. 

First, she checked Lireesa and Aravath’s bedroom. Untouched. Furniture draped in fine, sheer cloth. Did Sylvanas used to climb into that bed after a nightmare when she was too young to handle the fear on her own? Had...had she ever been too young for that? For anything? 

Lirath’s bedroom was just as bereft. Just as silent. Even the echoes of his singing seemed to have faded with time and all that had happened in its inevitable passing. It was like a museum, now. Some sort of monument to his youth and the things he’d loved. 

Then Sylvanas’s room. Empty, but not unused. There was half-opened correspondence on her desk, even now. Even amidst all this pain and emptiness. But it was the only room that smelled or felt...alive. The only room that smelled like Sylvanas. She began to panic. 

Her hand was trembling by the time she pushed open the door to Alleria’s bedroom. 

It was...somehow darker than the rest of the spire. Just not dark enough for her keen eyes not to pick up the huddled shape on the floor in the corner. 

In a rush of breath and movement, she was right there beside her. Pulling her into her arms and ignoring how limp she was. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’m so sorry. I came as soon as I heard.” 

Sylvanas didn’t respond. Her throat ached from the bitter sobs that had been torn from it for the better part of two days. But she did allow the comfort her embrace offered. She didn’t push it away. She never would, again. If she said she hadn’t been waiting for Velonara to find her, she’d have been lying. “Don’t leave.” 

“I’m right here,” Velonara whispered, drawing one of her legs up as she further covered Sylvanas’s body with her own. As though she could somehow protect her. As though she could hold her hard enough to stop the threads of her life from further unraveling. 

“Please.” Sylvanas breathed into the crook of her neck, pressing her eyes shut tightly as more tears - tears she hadn’t thought she had left in her - began burning their way down her face. 

Velonara nodded and pressed her lips against Sylvanas’s hair. Her temple. Her ears. Anywhere she could reach. 

“It isn’t fair,” Sylvanas said, the bitterness in her voice unmistakable. Undisguisable. 

“No. It isn’t.” 

Helpless. Weak. Inept. She had spent nearly her entire life basking in the glow of this woman’s strength. Then, in the span of a handful of years - she’d watched as, time and again, more and more had been taken from her. “Where is Vereesa?”

“Dalaran. With Arator. With Rhonin. I don’t want her here. I don’t want her in this place. The farther away she is, the better.” 

“Have you changed your mind about Rhonin, then?” Velonara asked as she pulled back to lift Sylvanas’s chin. To look into her pain-dulled eyes for just a moment. To make sure she was still there. 

“Perhaps he’ll keep her safe. There’s nothing I can do for her, here.” 

“Don’t say that,” Velonara whispered with a furrow of her brow. “This wasn’t your fault. None of it was. It’s just...a terrible thing that happened. It happened to you, too. A terrible thing that...keeps happening. Not even the strongest person in this world could have stopped any of it from coming to pass.” 

Sylvanas pulled her chin away, albeit gently, and only to rest her head back against Velonara’s shoulder. “I’m the one person in the world who should have been able to stop it, Vel. They were my responsibility.” 

“That isn’t true,” Velonara said quietly, slipping one of her arms beneath Sylvanas’s so she could trail her fingertips along her back. “I’m not talking to a General, right now. I’m talking to you. You are still a person to me. A person with needs and wants and fears just like any other, if not more.” 

“I’m sorry for what I did to you.” 

Velonara couldn’t remember the last time Sylvanas sounded so far away. Or maybe she just didn’t want to. All she knew was, even if it didn’t make sense - this was something Sylvanas felt she needed to say. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I was such a fucking child.” 

“Don’t do that,” Velonara responded urgently, digging her fingertips into Sylvanas’s back. “Don’t demean yourself. You don’t need to do anything to make me stay. Especially not that. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me?” 

“Then stay.” Sylvanas whimpered as she reached for Velonara’s neck and splayed her fingers against the side for a moment before she touched lightly against the nape of it. 

“I told you I will. I would never lie to you. Tonight. Tomorrow. As long as you need me here, that’s how long I’ll stay.” 

“I need you. I need you here, with me.” 

“I know you do, dalah’surfal. I’ll be here until you tire of me. I’ll clean up for you. I’ll see to it the lights are fixed. I know neither of us was ever much good at enchantments. Let me take care of you.” 

“You don’t understand what I’m asking.” Sylvanas breathed as she finally began pulling away, though she stumbled as she moved to stand up. As Velonara stood with her to help her to the bed, she wondered how long the other woman had been on the floor like this. 

“Then explain it to me,” Velonara responded, glancing down to watch Sylvanas’s footing carefully during their slow, but steady progress to the much softer, more welcoming prospect of the down-feather mattress across the room. 

Sylvanas allowed Velonara to help her down onto the bed. She did her best to move her body as the other woman began undressing her. “I don’t think now is the time. I don’t want you to agree to something out of pity.” 

Velonara lifted her eyes to Sylvanas’s face, then, and reached up to wipe gently at the little shadowy trails of makeup on her cheeks. “I have never pitied you.” She responded firmly. “I have only loved you.” 

“I don’t ever want you to leave. I can’t be here alone. I can’t do this alone any longer. I don’t want to watch you from the balcony when you leave in the mornings, anymore. I want a home with you. Maybe...maybe more, some day.” 

Velonara was stunned for a moment, though she did her best to recover quickly. She could both feel and hear how fragile Sylvanas was right now. The last thing in the world she wanted was to shatter what little she was holding onto. 

“We can talk about the ‘more’ once everything settles down. I welcome it. But for right now, of course I’ll stay here with you. And we’ll do our best to make this a home.” 

Sylvanas let out a slow, shuddering sigh as Velonara spoke and pulled the blankets over them, twining their bare legs together beneath them. “I should have asked you a long time ago.” 

“You asked me when you were ready. That’s all I care about. I’d have waited another hundred years, Syl. I’d have waited a thousand.” 

“Why?” Sylvanas asked quietly as she pulled back so she could get a proper breath...and so she could look into the soft blue glow of Velonara’s eyes. So she could find the love that had always, always been there.

“Because I’ve never known something more worth waiting for in all my life. Because I see the way people look at you. Men. Women. It doesn’t matter. They look at you...like something to be worshipped. And you are absolutely that. But...they also don’t know who it is that they’re looking at. I do. I know where all the cracks are. All the rough edges. I know where to touch them. I know how to work at them until they’re less jagged. Until they’re something you can bear to carry. I know that you need that. And I need to be the one to give that to you. Because I love you. All of you. Not just the parts that light up a room or take the breath from everyone in it. I love my General as we all do. Don’t doubt that for a moment. But I love _you_ much, much more. This you.”

Velonara traced the delicate line of Sylvanas’s jaw with her fingertips slowly, letting the side of her thumb graze her lips while her hand made its way into her hair. “The one laying here. With me. Right now. The one who isn’t scared to let me see this anymore. Because _this_ is perfection to me. Not any image you never cease to portray outside of our private life, and certainly not your title.” Velonara’s voice had the faintest hint of a tremor to it when she trailed off and leaned in to press the lightest of kisses to Sylvanas’s lips. Dryer than they might have normally been, though Velonara didn’t mind. They were somehow just as soft as always despite that. Her breath was just as warm when it puffed out softly against her lips. 

“Do you believe me?” Another kiss, as her hand moved to cradle the back of Sylvanas’s head and she stroked softly at the lobe of her ear. 

“Yes. Of course.” Sylvanas replied, finally, running her hand up the center of Velonara’s chest and touching along her collarbones with her fingertips. “I just...have never been more terrified of losing you than I am right now. “

“Never.” Velonara responded fervently. “Sylvanas, you are never going to lose me.” 

A bold promise to make, certainly. But Velonara knew Sylvanas needed to hear it right now. She knew Sylvanas _deserved_ to hear it right now. To know that she had at least something in this world to call her own. Something that wasn’t going to leave. 

“I don’t deserve you.” Sylvanas said so quietly Velonara had to strain to hear her. She ran the tip of her index finger along her throat as she spoke, and Velonara caught her hand to lift it so that she could press a kiss against it. 

“You deserve so much more than just me and what I can give you. You’ll see the truth in that again, someday, Sylvanas. And you’ll have it. I’ll do everything that I can to help you get there.” 

“We could start with sleep,” Sylvanas replied, taking heart in the faint smile that ghosted its way across Velonara’s lips despite how quickly it was gone, again. 

“Let’s do that, then.” Velonara’s voice was a whisper as she lifted her arm to hold the blanket up. She knew Sylvanas’s next movements like a well-read book. The way she turned and pressed her back slowly into her chest. The way she drew her hand up against her chest once Velonara lowered her arm and wrapped it around her. It was a little different this time. Just a little stiffer. And then there was the bruising she’d only just noticed that darkened her knuckles. 

“What’s this?” She asked against the back of Sylvanas’s ears as she brushed her thumb across the back of Sylvanas’s hand. 

Sylvanas watched that gentle, slow movement as Velonara’s lips began worrying gently at her ear as if to soften the implications of that question. 

“Stupidity,” Sylvanas responded simply, splaying her fingers to welcome Velonara’s when they began to twine with her own. 

“Anger isn’t the same thing as stupidity.” Velonara tucked her hand back against Sylvanas’s chest where she knew the other woman liked it as she spoke. “You’re entitled to a hell of a lot more anger than whatever small amount you took out on whatever unassuming inanimate object did this.” 

Sylvanas turned her head towards her the pillow it was resting on. “Mm. I suppose.” 

“But I need you to be careful with these hands of yours, hm?” 

“I don’t handle a bow much these days, Vel. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

Velonara pressed a soft smile against the nape of Sylvanas’s neck and shook her head. “I’m not a bow, Syl. And I quite like how tactile you can be.”

“You like my hands,” Sylvanas observed, more than asked, as she lifted her head for Velonara’s arm when it slid beneath it. She reached for that hand, too, only she just laid her own on top of it - knowing Velonara would touch along the lengths of her fingers with the tips of her own. One of the many tricks the other woman had up her sleeves...or lack thereof, to get her to sleep. 

“I’ve always liked them,” Velonara reassured in a murmur that was almost as soothing as her touches were. 

“I’m never going to see her again.” 

Velonara could have lied and told her she would. Could have told her there was hope. Yet, she was quiet for a while as she ghosted her lips against the back of the other woman’s neck and trailed feather-light touches along her hands. 

“Rest. We’ll revisit it in the morning. For as long as you need to. For as many days as you need to. Right now, though, I just want you to rest.”

Sylvanas nodded faintly and Velonara pulled her tighter against her chest. 

“Do you know that I love you?” Velonara asked as she felt some of the stiffness finally seep from Sylvanas’s tense muscles. 

“I’ve always known,” Sylvanas responded in a tone that reassured Velonara she wouldn’t be able to fight sleep much longer at all. “You never let me forget that. Even when I thought I wanted to. I hope you know that I’ve always loved you, too.”

“I do,” Velonara replied before shushing her gently with a graze of her fingertips over her lips. “I do. Now let’s rest.”

 

"Little Talks"  
Of Monsters And Men

Hey! Hey! Hey!  
I don't like walking around this old and empty house  
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear  
The stairs creak as you sleep, it's keeping me awake  
It's the house telling you to close your eyes

And some days I can't even dress myself  
It's killing me to see you this way

'Cause though the truth may vary  
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey! Hey! Hey!

There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back  
Well tell her that I miss our little talks  
Soon it will be over and buried with our past  
We used to play outside when we were young  
And full of life and full of love.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right  
Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear

'Cause though the truth may vary  
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!  
Don't listen to a word I say  
Hey!  
The screams all sound the same  
Hey!

Though the truth may vary  
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!  
Hey!

You're gone, gone, gone away  
I watched you disappear  
All that's left is a ghost of you.  
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,  
There's nothing we can do  
Just let me go we'll meet again soon  
Now wait, wait, wait for me  
Please hang around  
I'll see you when I fall asleep

Hey!  
Don't listen to a word I say  
Hey!  
The screams all sound the same  
Hey!  
Though the truth may vary  
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore


	26. Better Love

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

Velonara smiled softly as she watched her cork bob with the gentle waves of the beach near the spires. This wasn't the first time this afternoon that Sylvanas had begun to doze off peacefully against her side, and she was certain it wouldn't be the last. She didn't mind. Not at all.

They had all the time in the world, now, to be together. Mornings. Nights. Sylvanas had even let the pretenses fall always and moved Velonara into her personal unit. More out of a desire to have her close than any pressing need to keep her safe. There was peace, now. Hard-earned. Velonara could see those sacrifices in the scars on Sylvanas’s bare arms and in the calluses on the palms of the hands that had gone limp around the handle of the fishing rod in her lap.

She wondered if Sylvanas was sleeping deeply enough, now, to dream. That was when the losses - the horrible truths of war, often came to haunt her. They came to Velonara, then, too. When they slept, no matter how tightly they were tangled against one another, there was no escaping the dreams. 

But Sylvanas’s face was soft and serene. Her lips parted to let out breaths that even Velonara’s sharp ears couldn't hear - despite how quiet and lazy the waters were today. 

A faint shift of Sylvanas’s eyes under shut lids and an even fainter curve of her lips caused Velonara’s soft smile to widen. She didn't look away.

“I can feel your eyes on me, you know.” Sylvanas’s voice held only sleepy fondness.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” Velonara responded. “I'll have a painting of you commissioned some day. Like this. Dozing next to me pretending to fish.”

Sylvanas opened her eyes just enough to see, and cut them in Velonara’s direction. “I am fishing.” She argued gently, glancing down at the reel in her hands in her half-awake state to confirm that that was, in fact, what she was doing.

“Mhm.” Velonara’s response came with a low, gentle laugh and she took the reel from Sylvanas’s hands to rest it beside herself, instead. “You lost your bait to some nibbles over half an hour ago. Put your head in my lap. We're in no danger of starving to death if our trip is unsuccessful.” 

Sylvanas didn't have it in her to protest. Truth be told, the prospect of a nap in Velonara’s lap with the sun on her and the sounds of the sea in her ears was the most enticing thing she'd heard in a long, long while. 

It took a moment to shift the sand beneath her hip until she was comfortable - but putting her head where it went was easy. Right in the crook where Velonara’s hip met her side with her cheek against the soft, velvety leather that covered her thigh. Velonara leaned back at just the right time. Rested her arm over Sylvanas’s shoulder just so - allowing the warm rays that washed over them to kiss the golden skin of Sylvanas’s face. To make it that much easier for her eyes to stay shut.

“You must be the most fearsome General in all of Azeroth.” Velonara remarked absently as she leaned her head back against the tree she'd been using to support herself, as well as the woman who'd been leaning on her for the better part of the day.

“I am.” Sylvanas mumbled against her thigh before delivering a bite at just the right angle that her fang almost tore the leather of her breeches. A move that earned her a gentle flick of her ear from Velonara’s fingertips. Her responding wince was more than a little dramatic. 

“You were born with sharp teeth, dalah’surfal. That doesn't make you fearsome. I won't have you biting holes in my clothing to prove otherwise.”

Sylvanas sighed happily when Velonara delivered a soft, apologetic touch to her ear and then shifted her hand to her hair - hair that the sun chased her fingers through with happy little glints of light. She seemed unbothered by the teasing, and if she was - the attention more than made up for it.

The fish, it seemed, were as unmotivated as they were today. All that meant to Velonara, though, was that there was nothing to disturb the woman sleeping against her. So she wasn't exactly upset about the empty fish basket next to them. 

It wasn't until the sun began to set that Sylvanas wake with a gasp that drew Velonara’s attention immediately. 

“Bad dream?” She asked as her brow furrowed and she slipped her hand beneath Sylvanas’s cheek to cradle it in her palm.

“Can the sight of the sun setting against my lover’s face not take my breath away?” Sylvanas asked quietly in response, slowly pushing herself to sit up and brushing the sand off herself as Velonara’s worry softened. 

“We won't be having fish for dinner tonight, unfortunately.” Came Velonara’s response. 

Sylvanas just reached over and took Velonara’s rod from her hands to set it aside. In a surprisingly fluid motion, she took Velonara’s place with her back against the tree and guided the other woman to straddle her lap until she was settled and Sylvanas’s hands were stroking her thighs. “We have plenty of food at home. I'm severely lacking in kisses, however.”

“I could have kissed you a hundred times while you slept and you wouldn't know the difference.” Velonara’s response was both mischievous and amused, and she ran her hands carefully through Sylvanas's hair to smooth it, pulling the few strands that had gotten tangled in the jewelry adorning her ears free until she finally leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I would, too know the difference.” Sylvanas replied as her eyes met Velonara's and her body warmed to the closeness of her.

“Would you?” Velonara asked, placing a kiss a little lower, now. Against her brow, instead.

Sylvanas reached for one of Velonara’s hands, tracing featherlight touches over her wrist before she lifted it upwards - allowing the tips of her fingers to rest against her lips so that she could speak against them. “Kiss me here.” 

Velonara had stopped questioning long ago how Sylvanas still managed to take her breath away, but she did. Those words. That look - knowing and warm and commanding in the gentlest way when it found her...it was all so much. Of course, she leaned in to replace her own fingertips with her lips. Of course, she parted them when she felt the warm heat of Sylvanas’s tongue asking for more without words. 

Because they didn't need words. Not in moments like these. Not when Sylvanas was drawing her hips closer and sliding her thumbs beneath her shirt to feel more of her. To feel the warmth of her skin. 

Velonara gasped into the kiss, though, when she felt one of the other woman’s hands graze the seam of her pants between her legs. They were just tight enough. Sylvanas’s touch was just firm enough. Her hips went still as she waited for more - waited for another pass of fingertips against her. Anything. 

What came, however, was so much more than that. Strong hands found the undersides of her thighs and lifted her. Sylvanas turned and pressed her back against their tree and let out a trembling breath as her lips hovered over Velonara’s but didn't touch. 

Velonara ran her hands over the straining muscles of her broad shoulders - down her arms and then back up the front of her body. Then she found one of Sylvanas's breasts through her shirt and kneaded it, only relaxing her gentle, yet firm grip when Sylvanas stepped closer to her and groaned under her breath. 

“The bed isn't far.” Velonara whispered breathlessly and her head fell back when Sylvanas answered by running her tongue slowly up the side of her neck only to bite gently just below her ear. 

“Isn't it?”

Velonara relished the way Sylvanas’s lips curled into a smile against her skin, but she was relieved when she felt her legs being lowered so she could stand. The best they managed was pulling their lines in and stashing their gear for the night before they were heading back to the spire. 

Velonara hadn't expected to make it upstairs without a detour, but the way Sylvanas pinned her against the front door the moment it shut was both unexpected and welcome. 

Almost as welcome as the strong thigh pressing between her own. As the hands pinning hers to the door on either side of her head. “I take it...I was wrong...about the nightmare?” Velonara asked that question between soft gasps Sylvanas was drawing from her with the slow, firm upward presses of her thigh. 

“Are you asking if I dreamt of you, Velonara?” Sylvanas asked as she released her hands and moved her own to pull Velonara’s shirt up and over her head, instead.

“Would you tell me, if I am?”

“I was.” Sylvanas responded with no hesitation. “Absolutely.” She didn't give Velonara much time to formulate a response. She was too busy sliding her hand at an achingly slow pace down the front of her leggings - seeking out the wetness gathering between her legs. 

Velonara reached for her wrist as her brow furrowed and she gasped sharply. Yet, Sylvanas didn't seem keen on providing her any sort of relief. 

“Do you know that I don't even need to see this to know how beautiful it is?” Sylvanas asked quietly as Velonara's grip tightened fruitlessly. She splayed her fingers to the side as her hand moved further down. Teasing. Almost entering her with a fingertip, and then not. Velonara whimpered breathlessly. 

“Sylvanas…”

“Say it.” Sylvanas cooed against her jaw before kissing the corner of her mouth. 

“Please.” Velonara shuddered as the word left her lips. This was a rare mood, and Velonara wanted this. She needed this. 

Sylvanas sank her finger in slowly. Deeply, as Velonara gripped her shoulders and then shifted her hands to the sides of her neck almost frantically. 

“Velonara?” Sylvanas’s voice was a warm whisper against her lips as she nodded and looked up at her.

“I'm taking you to bed.” 

Velonara found her mouth suddenly dry, as that finger began to withdraw, leaving behind the ache of its absence. She nodded, again. 

“I love you.” Sylvanas said quietly before she kissed her - just the delicate bow of her upper lip. 

“You, too.” Velonara responded - making no effort to hide the fact that she was far too distracted to speak with any eloquence right now. 

Velonara was glad for the hand on her lower back guiding her up the stairs. She wasn't certain she trusted the sturdiness of her own legs right then. Soon enough, she was watching the reverence with which Sylvanas removed the rest of her clothing once they were in the bedroom they now shared. She was so attentive and genuine in her appreciation, Velonara found the patience to wait for her despite how impossible that simple act had seemed at first. 

And Sylvanas did appreciate her. With a hundred kisses and gentle nips down her body. Every new place she exposed, until she was kneeling between Velonara’s parted thighs so she could - in a much quicker fashion - disrobe herself, as well. It wasn't until she stood from the bed and Velonara heard her open a nearby chest that she propped herself up in the bed so she could watch.

And she was glad that she did. Sylvanas's eyes were already on her as she drew the fine leather straps of their harness up her thighs until it was buckled securely in place. They stayed on her as she moved onto the bed and reached out to run her hand up Velonara’s inner thigh. She'd pressed her legs together without even realizing it. A feeble attempt at combating the discomfort of waiting. 

Sylvanas let out a trembling breath of her own when her fingertips met wetness the crease of Velonara’s thigh.

“Please.” Velonara whispered, as if she was attempting to drive home what that wetness meant. 

Sylvanas grasped her hips, then, and pulled her down the bed as she nuzzled against her chest. To Velonara’s disappointment, though, she pulled away. The absence of her warmth earned Sylvanas a quiet, agitated whine that she smiled at - which earned her a glare from Velonara.

Yet, she continued moving away. Until she was laying on her chest between Velonara’s legs - running her tongue along the glistening skin of her inner thigh that she'd only teased at until now. 

Velonara wasn't certain she was as ready as she'd thought she was when that tongue, instead, stroked through hot, sensitive flesh and dipped into her - all while strong, yet delicate hands kept her thighs parted firmly.

The next moments were heady and almost frantic for Velonara. She kneaded and tugged at their bed covers in response to both the sounds and sensations of Sylvanas’s tongue lapping at her - of the firm, intermittent sucking of her clit. 

Yet, it was the barely perceptible trembling of Sylvanas's fingers on her thighs - the quiet, breathy little moans from her that she felt more than heard - that were pushing her rapidly towards the edge. 

Sylvanas wanted her. Terribly. She just wanted her to come first. 

And she did. With her hands clutching at Sylvanas’s wrists - her nails digging tracks into her forearms and her hips jerking faintly even as the talented mouth against her gentled, seeking only to draw out her pleasure, rather than tease or torment. 

And as much as Sylvanas had wanted to bring Velonara to that quiet, quaking peak - what she wanted most was to fuck her. To feel the true bite of Velonara's nails and fangs in her skin. 

Velonara knew that. That was why, even as she still tensed and shuddered with the waves of her orgasm, she pulled Sylvanas up her body and cradled her hips in her thighs as the toy she was wearing was pinned between their stomachs. 

It was Velonara that reached down between them - her eyes following suit, watching the way Sylvanas’s stomach tensed as she lifted it to make room. Instead of letting Velonara do what she knew she was going to do, however, Sylvanas pulled that hand away and pressed it into the bed. With the other, she lifted Velonara’s chin until she had no choice but to meet her gaze. “Look at me.” Sylvanas whispered. “I want you to look at me.”

Velonara didn't need to answer, so she didn't. She only watched Sylvanas watch her. God, it was hard. It was hard not to look down as one of the other woman's hands came to grip the toy between them. As she dragged the tip of it through the mess she'd only just finished making - stroking Velonara's wetness along the entirety of its length before finally - finally - pressing it into her.

She gave Sylvanas what she'd been wanting without even trying. That furrow between her brows. The parting of her lips as resistance gave way and became overwhelming fullness. The moment when it was almost too much. When her hands clung to Sylvanas's sides to still her, though she'd have waited on her own. She'd have waited there forever- her hips flush with Velonara’s, whose thighs were hooked against them so strongly it would have been almost impossible to do anything else even if she'd wanted to. 

Sylvanas lowered herself onto her forearms slowly as Velonara stroked over the little crescents her nails had left and exhaled. Then, she found the small of Sylvanas’s back for a moment before stroking slowly over the curve of her hip and then gripping it hard enough that Sylvanas rocked against her. Just so. An inch, maybe two, of movement. Almost too deep, but not quite. Just enough for Velonara to arch her back and for her eyes to finally fall shut. “Keep moving.” She gasped as Sylvanas reached for the pillow beside her head with one hand. 

Sylvanas relished those first hushed, quick gasps that ghosted from Velonara’s lips against the flushed skin of her neck. She relished the sharpness of her teeth when she left a stinging little bite there even more. 

Velonara had always loved the way Sylvanas moved. If she believed in sin - she might have even found it sinful. The way her body rocked over her - the way her hips snapped forward and her muscles moved beneath her hands. What she couldn't see - she felt. She felt the bunching of the muscles in the other woman's shoulders as she held onto the pillow and her elbows dug into the bed. She reached down just in time to catch the tops of her thighs as bent her legs at the knee to draw them beneath Velonara.

Even the little trail of dampness down the line of her spine, Velonara enjoyed immensely. The strength. The exertion that made itself known in the heaviness of her lover’s breathing and the heat radiating off her skin. 

The soft moments, too, were exquisite. The moments when Sylvanas relied on Velonara to support her weight as she twined their fingers together and found a place along her neck to mark with the same slow, lingering care that was present in the shallow, rhythmic movements of her hips. It was in one of these moments that Velonara's hand came up to grip the back of her neck - to hold her head where it was as she tried and failed to plead for her not to stop. In gasped, nonsensical attempts at her name. In the way she moved her hips every other thrust or so. Seeking what she was just on the cusp of.

Sylvanas moved exactly how Velonara wanted her to. Hard and sharp until Velonara was clawing at her back and whimpering into her ear. Then slow. All-encompassing. She brought her high and low as their moans joined the sounds their bodies made against one another - until they were more each other than themselves.

Eventually, Sylvanas tossed her hair over her shoulder so she could see her as she murmured against her temple. 

“Does that feel good, Vel?” 

She already knew that it did. But she also knew Velonara liked to hear her voice - like to feel the low, heated vibrations of it against her skin when she came. 

 

“I’m...close...” That was all she managed in response. Sylvanas was careful not to change anything. Not the angle of her hips. Not the way she was stroking at the small of Velonara’s back as she held her up against herself, pressed as close as she could be to provide desperately needed friction. 

“I want you to come for me.” Sylvanas breathed. “You feel so good, Vel. Please come for me. I want you to feel good, too.” 

There was something almost vulnerable in the soft tremor of Sylvanas’s voice. Something that contrasted exquisitely with everything else. Brought her completely and utterly into the world they had created for themselves out of this moment. 

And she did feel good. God, she felt so good. But it was nothing compared to the warmth that spread throughout her body when she finally spilled over the edge, again. 

This was when Sylvanas paid the most attention. To every twitch and every whimper. Every breath. Even the prolonged silences between her gasps. Those, too, spoke volumes. They told Sylvanas when to give Velonara one last, deep rock of her hips. They told her when to go still and just hold her close. When to stroke her sides to ease the shudders that still occasionally ran through her. 

But it was Velonara who told her to relax in a quiet, sated whisper. Velonara, who stroked along her heaving sides and pulled her damp hair away from the back of her neck so the night breeze coming in through their window could reach it. Eventually, her thighs slid down Sylvanas’s hips and worked the buckles against her hips until they were lose. 

Sylvanas was still nibbling absently at the side of her neck when she ran the toy between her legs, gathering enough of the harness into her hand that it was out of the way before Sylvanas was lifting her head to look down at her when she positioned it against her. 

“Are you worn out?” Velonara asked as she pressed a little harder, until Sylvanas rested her forehead against hers and sank down at the same time. “I want you to feel good, too.” She mirrored those words back to her in the most delicate whisper - reaching to press her free hand against her stomach to hold her up enough that she could keep moving. 

When Sylvanas made a move to reach between them, Velonara nodded encouragingly. She even covered the other woman’s hand lightly with her own when she started touching herself. Neither of them really had the energy to draw this out. That didn’t change anything, though. It was just as breathtaking. From the stilted movements of Sylvanas’s hips to the way her fingers shifted rapidly against herself - it really was. 

Because she was letting go. Allowing the focus to shift to herself and letting everything else fall away. Because of the way she collapsed when she came and didn’t try to push herself back up, even when Velonara slowly pulled the harness from between them to nudge it to the opposite side of the bed. 

The moments that followed were moments of bliss. Of gentle, unintelligible murmurs and fingertips against sweat-slicked skin. There was more dozing. Occasional soft smiles and kisses. Most importantly, there were no pretenses. They were as bare emotionally as they were physically. And it was so much more than enough for them both. It was finally enough. 

The quiet laughter they shared when Sylvanas nearly stumbled back out of the pants she was trying to tug on - the not-so-secret glances at each others toplessness as they prepared a simple meal to share once they managed at least that. 

They’d worked so hard for it all. Lost so, so much. 

But that didn’t change the way Sylvanas smiled at her as the last of their mess was placed in the sink basin to wait until morning. 

There were more important things to deal with, now. 

Like nourishing the ember they’d found in the coals of this home. An ember that had begun to flicker into a flame that would warm these rooms, again. And, for once, everything else could wait.

  


"Better Love"  
Hozier

I once kneeled in shaking thrill  
I chase the memory of it still, of every chill  
Chided by that silence of a hush sublime  
Blind to the purpose of the brute divine  
But you were mine

Staring in the blackness at some distant star  
The thrill of knowing how alone we are, unknown we are  
To the wild and to the both of us  
I confessed the longing I was dreaming of

Some better love, but there's no better love  
Beckons above me and there's no better love  
That ever has loved me, there's no better love  
Darling, feel better love  
Feel better love

I have never loved a darker blue  
Than the darkness I have known in you, own from you  
You, whose heart would sing of anarchy  
You, who'd laugh at meaning's guarantee,  
So beautifully

When our truth is burned from history  
By those who figure justice in fond memory, witness me  
Like fire weeping from a cedar tree  
Know that my love would burn with me  
We'll live eternally

Cause there's no better love  
That beckons above me, there's no better love  
That ever has loved me, there's no better love  
So darling, feel better love  
Cause there's no better love  
That's laid beside me, there's no better love  
That justifies me, there's no better love  
So darling, darling, feel better love  
Feel better love

 


	27. Knocking On Heaven's Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Heavy angst. Graphic depictions of violence and death.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

“You have to rest.” Velonara’s voice was urgent. Afraid. Not for herself, though. For the dark circles under her lover’s eyes and the way her hands trembled as she looked down at the maps spread across the table of her pavilion. 

“I know,” Sylvanas responded evenly, licking her dry lips and shuffling another parchment over the map she’d been staring at. 

“You haven’t slept in three days.” Velonara whispered as she reached out to rest a hand over the battered pauldron covering Sylvanas’s shoulder. “And you’ve been in your armor just as long.” 

“The runners aren’t getting through,” Sylvanas mumbled. “They can’t be. I haven’t...I haven’t heard anything in...”

“Two weeks.” Loralen finished for her from the entryway of the large tent. “And the Captain is right. You need sleep. We all do.”

Sylvanas clenched her jaw and stood from her desk as she lifted her eyes in Loralen’s direction. She would never understand how Sylvanas managed to look so intimidating considering how small she was. 

“What I need is to know that my people have safely evacuated the city. That’s what I fucking need, right now. So unless you have any information for me pertaining to that, I suggest you see to those of our ranks who can afford all of this rest you seem to think is laying around for the taking.” 

Sylvanas didn’t realize how tightly she’d been clenching her fists until she heard one of her gloves begin to tear. Only then did she look down at her hands as she unfurled her fingers and lean over her desk, pressing her palms against it as Loralen stood in silence - not surprised by her outburst - just waiting. 

“I...I know you didn’t come here to see to my well-being.” Sylvanas finally continued - now in a more measured tone. “What did you need?” 

“It was...regarding the unit positioned on the ridge,” Loralen replied carefully. “They have...perhaps until morning. At best.”

“I know.” Sylvanas replied. “I know that. The magisters need more time to reinforce the remaining gates.” 

Loralen stared at her. This time, there was very real fear in her eyes. Fear that mingled with disbelief. 

“They’ll die, Sylvanas.” 

Sylvanas lowered her eyes, then. A million thoughts ran rampant through her exhausted mind. Echoes of her mother’s teachings mixed and muddled with her own internal voice until she could scarcely think. 

“Arrows in the quiver.” She finally replied. “They must be spent if we are to win this.” 

“I understand, General,” Loralen said as she turned her gaze in Velonara’s direction for a moment - just long enough to catch the way her ears sank slightly. Long enough to catch the ghost of despair that darkened her face. 

“Do you?” Sylvanas asked, licking her dry lips again while her water skin sat, untouched, on her desk. 

Loralen knew. They all knew. What they were. Their purpose. Slowly but surely, they had become individual seconds on the face of a clock with no numbers. Each runner - an arrow that would never reach her mark. Each corpse between here and the first gate - another. Broken. Spent. 

Yes. She understood. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Loralen’s brow furrowed, yet she nodded softly. “A couple of hours, at least? We’ve already received your marching orders. We...we need you, General. Now, more than ever.”

Loralen excused herself quickly after that, and Sylvanas jumped in response to the sudden presence of Velonara’s hand covering her own. “I’ll help you with your armor.” 

Sylvanas wavered slightly on her feet as she turned to face Velonara, and the other woman caught her as though she’d been ready for it. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Velonara shook her head as she guided Sylvanas over to their cot and helped her sit down. “Shh shh, look at me, Sylvanas. Look at me.” Her hands came up to cradle either side of her face and stroked over her cheeks. “My love, we all know. We all know what this is, believe me. We’re fulfilling a promise we all made a long time ago, hm?” 

Sylvanas lifted a hand and wrapped it around Velonara’s wrist, but she didn’t attempt to pull her hands away. 

“I don’t envy you, Syl. I don’t envy you being the one that has to say it - the one to give the orders - but whether or not you did, it wouldn’t change anything.”

“I lied.” Sylvanas whispered, but Velonara didn’t pull away. She just guided Sylvanas’s face into the crook of her neck and pulled her hood down carefully. “There is no winning this.”

“Time.” Velonara corrected. “Each step that he takes takes twice as long because of what you’re doing. We’re winning them time.” 

“Lay with me.” Sylvanas murmured against Velonara’s neck, parting her lips against it and running them up towards her ear. “Lay with me, and I’ll rest.” 

Of course, Velonara did. She peeled away armor and touched anywhere that wasn’t bandaged or bruised. 

There weren’t many places left on Sylvanas’s body that weren’t. But that night - she branded all of them with her lips and her fingertips and with whispered, desperate reassurances. That night, Sylvanas rested in her arms for the first time in days as their tears were still drying on their faces. 

It would be the last time. The last time Sylvanas would feel the soft warmth of her touch against her bare skin. The last time they would lie...to each other, and to themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Get them out!” Sylvanas’s voice tore from her ragged throat as her few remaining rangers spread out and began sprinting towards the doors of the homes in Fairbreeze - ripping families from their homes and pushing them towards the road that led to Silvermoon. “We go no further! It ends here!” 

They had an hour. Two, at best, before the Scourge would be upon them. Once the village was emptied, Sylvanas stood alone on the ridge overlooking the dark shadow that advanced ever-inward towards everything any of them had ever known. 

One by one, those who had survived until now walked to join her. Velonara first. To her side - looking first where Sylvanas’s eyes had settled, then at the General, herself. “The dragon hawks?” 

Sylvanas shook her head. “A distraction, at best.” 

Sylvanas turned slowly - her eyes darting across grime-covered, exhausted faces - all of them set in grim determination. They were angry. And they were going to die. Kalira wasn’t there. Anya wasn’t there. But they were coming, as well. 

They were part of it, now. Part of the evil devouring their home. Not unlike many of the rest. 

Fourteen, including herself. 

Fourteen, to stand against an insurmountable foe. 

Fourteen to fall at his feet. 

There wasn’t much to say. There was no strategy, here. There was no winning. Only dying as slowly as possible. 

Sylvanas turned to Velonara and reached into the pouch at her belt, producing a rolled and sealed parchment and holding it out to her. 

“Not yet.” Velonara said quietly as she took it from her. “Not yet.” 

“You must, Velonara. There is no one in Quel’Thalas as fast as you. No hope of anyone else getting through.” 

“I won’t leave you yet.” Velonara’s eyes burned with fierce determination, and Sylvanas reached towards her own quiver to count the few arrows that remained there. 

The motion re-opened a wound that refused to heal that stretched across her shoulder to reveal the striations of muscle beneath, but she scarcely winced - even though Velonara did. Infection had set in. The medicines they had with them did little more than just keep them fighting, now. It didn’t matter, anymore. Sylvanas knew she wouldn’t live long enough to die from it. 

“Very well. You’ll know when?” 

“The next time you tell me, I’ll go. You have my word.” 

This was a conversation that had already been had. A battle that had already been won. Sylvanas needed Velonara to survive almost as badly as she needed to save the rest of her people. The hope that Velonara would make it to Silvermoon was one of the only things left that gave her the strength to remain on her feet, let alone continue on. 

_Take heed._

_Empty the city immediately._

_Do not send aid._

_All is lost._

_Sylvanas Windrunner_

Velonara looked down at the scroll in her hands. She’d watched Sylvanas write it. Watched the letters come in rough, shaking lines. She knew where the ink splotches were. She also remembered how beautiful her lover’s calligraphy had once been. But this had been her last piece of parchment...and she hadn’t stopped trembling for days. 

None of them had. Between the hunger, exhaustion, and the injuries - there wasn’t a steady hand left in this unit. Not even their General’s. 

Slowly, the last remaining Rangers filtered away - to talk amongst themselves, to repair as many arrows as they could. To accept. 

Yet, Velonara remained. She reached slowly for Sylvanas’s hand and took it into her own - lifting it to her lips to press a kiss across knuckles exposed by tattered gloves. “There’s something I need you to know.” 

Sylvanas turned her tired eyes to Velonara and lifted her other hand, tucking some of the other woman’s hair into her hood before she nodded. 

“You have made my life full and meaningful. You’ve been its greatest love...and joy. I don’t know what I believe, anymore. About what happens when we’re gone. I don’t think any of us do. But I believe what I feel for you is bigger than that. Than death. I believe there is no finality to it. I’ll...I’ll love you, Sylvanas, even when I’m gone.” 

Sylvanas’s face remained still even as a tear carved a path through the filth that covered it. 

“I need you to know that.” Velonara whispered. “And I need you to know that I’m proud. That you were the greatest General that ever lifted a bow to defend our people. It’s important to me that you know that. Do you? Do you know that?” 

Sylvanas cleared her throat as she twined some of Velonara’s hair around the length of one of her fingers. “Do you know that those same things are all true for you?” She asked, taking a single step closer to her until they were leaning into each other. 

Sylvanas could hear the Scourge approach now. Like a giant machine, grinding and devouring and advancing. Always. It never slept. It never stopped. 

“Do you know that you taught me how to love, and that you have always had all of my heart? Always. Do you know that you were a truly great Captain and Ranger? That I wouldn’t rather have anyone at my side defending our home with me?” 

It was Velonara’s turn, now, to stand in stunned silence. 

“You have never failed to deliver a message. I’ve never even seen one of your arrows go astray.” Sylvanas reached for the scroll Velonara was still clutching in her free hand and covered it with her own. “I need you to deliver this one, Velonara. I need you to make it through. Please. I need you to make it so that I have something to fight for.” 

“Do you want me to lie to you?” Velonara asked, brows furrowed as she gave Sylvanas’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Because if that's what you need, I will.”

“Yes.” The answer was a strange, broken amalgamation of bitterness and pleading.

“I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you in your rooms in Silvermoon. With a warm bath drawn and a glass of wine for you in my hand. We’ll make love until we fall asleep in each other's arms wrapped in silk sheets as blue as the sky and we'll never be hungry again. We'll get married, then. I'll take your name. I'll be your wife and you'll be mine and we will wake with the sun on our faces through our bedroom window for a thousand, thousand years.”

Sylvanas released a slow, shuddering breath and nodded softly. “That sounds perfect.” She murmured, sliding her hand deeper into Velonara’s hood to cradle the back of her head. “Will we have pets? A lynx kitten, maybe?”

“We’ll have so many lynx kittens, dalah’surfal. They’ll eat us out of house and home. They’ll walk all over us so that we can’t sleep and they’ll try to trip us on the stairs. They’ll go hunting with us and steal our birds and we won’t care because we’ll always have enough.”

Velonara grasped at Sylvanas’s cloak, then - holding her as close as she could without any regard for either of their comfort because it didn’t matter anymore. 

“And you’ll love me when I’m old and grey, yes?” Sylvanas whispered against the side of Velonara’s face as her ears pressed against her head. They were getting closer. She could feel the ground shaking with the might of their army beneath her feet. 

“I’ve seen your mother, Sylvanas. You’ll be unbearable when you’re old and grey. I’ll never hear the end of how attractive and distinguished you are.” 

“From me, you realize.” 

“I know it’ll be you saying it.” Velonara responded with a weak, hollow laugh. “And I’ll be the one nodding and agreeing every time.” 

The rest of the rangers were cresting the hill. Notching arrows to their bows. An unfamiliar sound met Sylvanas’s ears and she turned her head sharply towards the sky. 

“Above you!” She shouted, pulling an arrow from her quiver and aiming over Velonara’s head. Her shot was true. The terrible creature fell from the sky between the Scourge and their token, inadequate show of resistance.

“Velonara…” Sylvanas breathed as she drew her bow a second time. “Run.” 

It was like a hurricane meeting a wall of sand. They crumbled against its might. Within moments, their arrows were spent. Sylvanas pressed on, drawing her sabers and hacking away at an endless stream of enemies no matter how terribly her arms screamed in protest for her to stop. Her fangs were bared. Her eyes burned with rage. With pain. 

Fourteen became ten...became five...three…

Sylvanas could feel their backs pressed against either side of her own. The stench of the walking corpses surrounding them was so putrid she could feel her lungs burning with want for air. With exhaustion. 

They held their position. They felled more enemies than should have been possible - hideous abominations...friends...family...all turned against them. She didn’t even know who they were - the women behind her. 

All she knew was that they were alone in a tide of death. Then, suddenly, Arthas ordered them back. Sylvanas looked around in confusion. They all did. 

And then, Sylvanas heard the scream...a scream of outrage more than pain, and she knew why, as her eyes caught sight of Velonara’s form in the clutches of one of the gargoyles that had claimed so many of their number. 

Sylvanas might have been able to make the shot. No, she most certainly would have - had she even a single arrow left. 

She didn’t feel the hands on her - hands trying to pull her towards the village and away from the retreat of Arthas’s army. Hands trying to stop her from seeing what she was meant to see. Velonara struggled. Hard. She twisted in talons that must have been tearing her apart. 

And then the creature let her go - her blade still buried deep within its breast. 

By now, Sylvanas had learned the sound of a body breaking against the ground. And now, she knew that Velonara’s sounded the same. For a moment, she knew nothing more.

_”I know you think you want to be a Ranger. I know you think you have no choice.”_

_Frustration boiled in Sylvanas’s veins. Her mother didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that she just **needed** this. To be allowed to make this decision for herself because it was the only decision to be made. _

_“But after this - after seeing her the way you did - how could you? How could you still want that for yourself? Think carefully before you answer me, Sylvanas. And know that you absolutely have a choice.”_

_Sylvanas would have been hard pressed to forget the way that spear had looked protruding from Alleria’s shoulder. How terrified her father had looked. But it didn’t matter. “I just do. I just...I just do.”_

_“That isn’t enough.”_

_Sylvanas’s head pounded as she tried to put everything that she was feeling into words that she simply didn’t possess. Not yet. She had to make her mother understand that this was the only life for her. The only life she had ever wanted._

“Get up! Get up, Sylvanas! We have no time!” 

Sylvanas dragged a lungful of air into her throat as her eyes snapped open to the sight of a ranger pulling her to her feet. Loralen. Her eyes darted to the side - looking for the third Ranger, but she was gone. 

“Velonara.” Sylvanas breathed. 

“I know.” Loralen tugged at her again, helping her onto her unsteady feet. “I know…” 

They made it to the edge of the village when Loralen began to stumble just as much, if not more so than Sylvanas. “Loralen…” Sylvanas mumbled, turning to face her and stopping in her tracks when she saw the way she was clutching at her stomach - trying to stop the blood that was bubbling through the gaping wound across it from escaping. 

“Don’t let...don’t let them…” 

Loralen fell. First to one knee, then onto her hands as she gasped and choked out a bitter sob, reaching to grasp at the ankle of Sylvanas’s boot. “Please.” 

Sylvanas pulled her dagger from her boot and dropped down next to her numbly, carefully sliding a hand beneath the Captain’s head to lift her up against her chest. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, waiting to feel Loralen nod against her before she sank the blade quickly between her ribs. 

_”That is something your mother would have done.” Loralen said as she knelt in front of the young woman who had just done more than anyone could have expected of a recruit as green as she was._

_Sylvanas looked up at the Captain kneeling before her as she continued trying to catch her breath. Her worried eyes darted to where Kalira was helping Anya limp her way to her tent. Then, the full gravity of the words hit her. The appreciative tone of Loralen’s voice. Then, Loralen was gripping her forearm to help her up. Less like a mentor, and more like an equal. There was a new measure of respect in her eyes - enough so that Sylvanas took note of it. Took pride in it, and in her own actions._

_“And it was the right thing to do. Perhaps if you continue making me look good I’ll be retired into a training role. Off with you. Before Velonara has a litter of worry-kittens.”_

Sylvanas felt Loralen’s last breath. She felt her body, wracked with pain, go limp in her arms - and she lowered her to the ground as she stood. Her dagger fell from her hand as she began walking, then running. Towards the forest. Away from Fairbreeze. 

If his aim was to make her suffer...she would draw that out for as long as she could. A day, perhaps? That was better than nothing. She knew traps. Tricks. Ways to cover her tracks. To make him believe she was hiding something. 

It was nightfall before she stopped - though she didn’t stop of her own accord. How could she ignore the urging of her sister? She sounded so adamant. Again, and again. 

“Stop.” 

“I can’t.” 

“You must. What good will you be to them if you drop from exhaustion?” 

“There is no one, Alleria. It doesn’t _matter_.” She turned sharply in the direction of the voice, only to find nothing but dark, empty forest before she lost her footing and fell against a nearby tree. For a moment, she used it to support herself. Tried...and failed, to push away from it - to keep moving. 

But the leaves gave way beneath the worn soles of her boots and she fell into their softness slowly. Her breaths came in short, shallow gasps as she tried to focus her vision and reached for her water skin. She’d forgotten, again, that it was empty. 

In frustration, she struggled to sit with her back against the trunk behind her and reached for the saber she’d dropped on her way down, dragging it close to herself slowly. Her free hand, she raised to pull the necklace into her palm that always rested against her chest. She held onto it tightly as her head fell backwards and her eyes began to roll. 

_”You can go upstairs now, Sylvanas.”_

“No, I...I want to stay with Alleria. ...Mother?” Sylvanas’s ears twitched and twisted faintly in her confusion. 

_“So brave, Lady Moon. You’re getting so big.”_

Sylvanas looked to her left for Alleria as the trees began to blur into one another, becoming a mass of shadows in her clouded vision. “Your shoulder…”

 _”I’m okay, Sylvanas.”_

Sylvanas drew in a trembling breath as she tried to focus her eyes, her heels digging into the soft, loamy soil beneath the leaves. “Are...are you going to stay?” 

_”I’m afraid I can’t. And I’m afraid you have to get up now.”_

“I can’t.” Sylvanas whispered. “Alleria, I can’t.” 

There was no response. 

She was alone. ...Alleria wasn’t here. This wasn’t real. 

She clenched her jaw and a growl tore from her throat as she forced herself up. To continue on. 

She refused to hide and die in a fit of madness like a rabid animal. Not now. Not ever. As long as there was fight left in her, she would bring it to him. 

And she did. Or, rather, he brought it to her. 

It was lonelier than she thought it was going to be. She felt everything, suddenly, that she hadn’t felt before. The way the grass bent beneath her boots. The uncomfortably sticky feeling of blood drying between her armor and her battered skin. The pain. Unbearable. All-consuming. 

She turned her head upwards slowly - looking towards the sky as she stood - only half-aware of the distinctly odd sound of the hooves of an undead beast approaching at her back. 

“I salute your bravery, elf. But the chase is over.” 

Sylvanas shook out her arms. She ignored the lance of pain from her shoulder as she drew her sabers and turned - slowly. Yes. It was over. She certainly didn’t need Arthas to tell her that, as she stood there waiting for the end to come. 

“Then I’ll make my stand here, butcher.” In his tongue. His awful, graceless language that fell from her lips like gravel. She bared her fangs at him. Pressed her ears back. “Anar’alah belore.” 

Heroes are often remembered for their last acts. Grandiose martyrdom and selfless sacrifices. How many foes they felled as they trudged forth with arrows protruding from their battered, yet somehow strong bodies. 

There, in that clearing, her frail - half-lifeless body failed her as Frostmourne ran her through. There, in that clearing - she didn’t land a single blow before her blades clattered to the ground. 

Her breaths crackled into her lungs as she lay where she’d stood, tears stinging her eyes before they began to slip down her face - a mask of anguish and hatred. She wasn’t fully aware of what she was saying. All she knew was that she wanted it to end. She was ready, now, for it to end. She had nothing left to give. 

She thought, for a moment, that he would allow her that last, broken request - as the agony melted away and she could only feel the warmth of the sun on her face. Her eyes slipped shut so she could lose herself in that feeling. She had earned this. A thousand times over, she had earned this peace. 

_”Mom?” Sylvanas tilted her head at her mother as she leaned over the edge of the tub to look at her._

_“Mm, yes, my darling girl?” Lireesa responded with a smile full of a special measure of warmth reserved for very few. Sylvanas was at the top of that list._

_“Did I do alright?”_

_The warmth of that smile was only deepened by the towel her mother wrapped around her as she helped her out of the tub._

_“You did better than alright. You were perfect. I couldn’t have asked for you to handle yourself in a different way. You are so grown up, Sylvanas. Do you know that?”_

She tried to hold onto the memory. She clawed at it desperately as she felt something pulling her away. 

Over the past weeks, she had thought she had learned what it was to endure pain. 

She had thought, at the end of it all, she would find rest. 

The hollow echo in the deafening scream that erupted from her was a culmination of how desperately, utterly wrong she had been. 

There would be no peace.

There would be no rest. 

She had earned nothing but suffering.

"Knocking On Heavens Door"

Mama take this badge from me  
I can't use it anymore  
It's getting dark too dark to see  
And I'm feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground  
I can't shoot them anymore  
That cold black cloud is comin' around  
And I'm feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Feels like I'm  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Feels like I'm  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Feels like I'm  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door  
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

Mama tell me


	28. Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _She's everything the devil can't be  
>  When she's singing to me "Glory"_  
> 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/161614435@N03/39782956473/in/dateposted-public/)

The sound of her boots meeting the damp, cobbled stones of the corridor echoed against the walls that enveloped her in darkness. Only the occasional flicker of the lanterns she passed illuminated the passive, cool expression she wore. 

An expression that remained unchanged as another set of footfalls fell into time with her own, despite the fact that Sylvanas appreciated the scents Velonara had brought back with her. The scent of pine - faint, but present nonetheless, mingling with the leather of her armor. 

“Do you bring news from Brill?” Sylvanas asked evenly. Her voice as much a mask as her face now was. 

“All is well. A minor altercation with a larger than usual gathering of Scourge some time before dawn, but it was taken care of. No losses for us.” 

“Were they organized?” Sylvanas asked with a faint lift of her brow. 

“Mindless. The same as the last.” 

Sylvanas nodded. The last thing she needed was another Lich, or worse right now. They were only just beginning to find some semblance of order, here. Hard-won, but there, nonetheless. 

Velonara paused just outside the door of the private Royal chambers when Sylvanas reached for the handle that was more tarnish than it was metal. She waited. Waited for Sylvanas to leave it open for her. She wouldn’t ask her to come in, of course. But Velonara was learning the steps to this unspoken dance. The fact that Sylvanas passed through without shutting it was an invitation, even if it didn’t look like one. 

There was a messenger waiting for her. One of the Dreadguard. Sylvanas paused in her path to her desk to wait for an explanation. 

“Correspondence.” The Forsaken man grumbled as he gestured towards a package and a few sealed parchments. “From Silvermoon.” 

“Thank you.” 

He looked quickly from Sylvanas to the Dark Ranger standing just behind and to the right of her, and cleared his throat, despite how useless the action was. The rasp in it stayed, now, regardless. 

“The chamber guard detail…” 

“Won’t be needed tonight.” Sylvanas finished for him, watching as he read the dismissal for what it was and excused himself from the room. 

Velonara hung back as Sylvanas moved around her desk so she could look over what had been left there. She averted her eyes as a clawed gauntlet-tip traced the lines of an as-yet unfamiliar seal in an equally unfamiliar color until the crimson wax was peeled from fine, heavy parchment. 

She sat down slowly, reading over offers and requests in Lor’themar’s scrawling Thalassian. A language that remained her only link to a people that, for all intents and purposes, had ceased to exist. The Sin’dorei. Children of the Blood - of which she, herself, was not. Another wall constructed between her present and her past. Another distance that would never be bridged between what she once was, and what she was now. 

Yet, despite how carefully Velonara watched, Sylvanas didn’t show the faintest hint of any true reaction. But Velonara could smell something. Something strange. Something that touched the raw edges of her scattered memories. And when Sylvanas finally opened the larger parcel that had been left for her, it only grew stronger. 

Sylvanas’s hands went still for a moment. She hadn’t realized, until now, that this one hadn’t been sealed by anyone of rank. As she slipped a little cloth-wrapped bundle onto her desk and cut the twine holding it shut, her eyes fell on its contents. 

 

_”I take it they’re still your favorite?”_

_Sylvanas looked from the cookies in Alleria’s hands to the woman smiling down at them, and couldn’t help but smile, herself. Perhaps because her sister was hurting, and Sylvanas was glad Elenia had brought her something to help her get through it. Or, more accurately, because Elenia had brought her something that Sylvanas knew would be shared with her, too._

_Her face only lit up all the more when the little bundle of chocolate cookies was passed to her so Alleria could stand and thank the woman properly._

 

Sylvanas drew in a sharp breath and lifted her head, and Velonara’s brow furrowed at everything she saw in her eyes in that moment. Her breath, as unnecessary as it was, caught in her throat. 

“Sylvanas?” 

The cookies were bundled back up quickly and silence fell over the room. Sylvanas shook her head. The slightest little motion, yet Velonara was so aware of the other woman’s presence whenever they were near each other, she couldn’t possibly have missed it. 

It had been getting more difficult, as of late, to ignore certain things. Certain memories. Yet, Sylvanas kept that burden to herself. It was easier to assume her Rangers were like the rest of her Forsaken in that regard than it was to deal with the implications the alternative would bring. 

“Sentimental fool.” Sylvanas muttered as she seemed to manage to shore up the cracks in her visage that had been widening for weeks, now.

“You may leave, Captain.” Sylvanas finally responded simply and without looking at her. 

“Was that an order, my lady?” Velonara asked with a faint tilt of her head, though she stepped forward, regardless - until she was close enough to rest her fingertips on the edge of Sylvanas’s desk. 

Sylvanas didn’t normally allow such exchanges. Or, at least, no one engaged her in them. So she gave the question real thought, as she glanced down at Velonara’s hand. This was Velonara, after all. She was…

“Do you remember?” Sylvanas finally asked. She hated the way the question sounded coming from her mouth. She hated the way it felt. She regretted it immediately. 

Velonara would have sobbed in relief had she not been standing so stoically - waiting so carefully. As it was, she just nodded faintly. 

Sylvanas released a breath that was almost a hiss as she looked away, leaning back in her chair as she drummed the tips of her gauntlet against her desk. Oh, god, she wished she hadn’t asked that. She hadn’t wanted to know that. Not really. She hadn’t been _ready_ to know that. 

“I...I remember that those were your favorite. The only sweets you would really eat.” Velonara fell silent for a moment as Sylvanas’s eyes flashed back in her direction - burning with an intensity Velonara knew was reflected back in her own. Because that, too, had changed. Where Velonara had once found strands of silver and grey light in the gentle blue of Sylvanas’s gaze, now there was only fire. This time, though, it seemed to cool for a moment. Enough for her to continue, anyway. 

“I remember the day your mother had to force you to leave your studies long enough to go fishing with me. That was the first time I held your held.” 

“Enough.” Sylvanas whispered as her ears flattened and the almost beseeching quality of her attention turned into sudden, fierce frustration. 

At some point, Velonara had stopped being concerned about angering her. The prospect of retribution was significantly less terrifying than continuing on like they had been. “You promised.” She continued - her voice quiet and measured. As she stepped closer, her hand slid towards Sylvanas’s on the desk. Their fingertips were nearly touching. “Do _you_ remember? Do you remember that you promised not to disappear on me, again?”   
“Enough!”

Before she could apologize, or even respond, Velonara found her wrist in a vice-grip and her body pinned between Sylvanas and the desk. Her ears were still ringing from the volume of that wounded shout. 

Sylvanas didn’t let go. She didn’t even let her move. 

“What else, hm?” Sylvanas demanded - her brows furrowed as she tightened her grip. It was too rough. Too strong. Had Velonara been anything other than what she was...than what _they_ were, it would have hurt terribly. “Do you remember how the leaves felt that we used to play in as children? Do you remember how soft and golden they were as we lay in them with the sun on our faces? Do you remember how our laughter sounded?” 

Velonara returned Sylvanas’s stare. She didn’t respond. She didn’t breathe. This was the closest they’d been since…

“Do you remember the way I used to kiss you awake every morning?” 

A quiet little noise attempted to escape Velonara, then. Something akin to a sob, perhaps, choked back down her throat. 

It was only then that Sylvanas released her grip. It was only then that she pulled away as the mask fell away. She looked so tired. God, she looked so tired. 

“Sylvanas, I’m sorry.” Velonara reached for her - an old instinct that reared its ugly head at just the wrong time - one that caused Sylvanas to jerk away before she could touch her. 

“Find some children to give these to.” Sylvanas responded as she pushed the bundle of cookies in Velonara’s direction. 

“Sylvanas…” 

“That was an order.”

“Yes, of course.” 

Sylvanas didn’t watch her leave. She just sat back down at her desk. Silent. Impassive. If there was anything going on, Sylvanas had buried it, again. 

What Sylvanas hadn’t done was tell Velonara she needn’t report back when she’d completed her task. Perhaps it had been an oversight. Perhaps it had been intentional. Sylvanas wasn’t certain, herself. 

But she hadn’t moved an inch by the time Velonara had returned, and it had been hours. Hours of sitting in silence trying to somehow navigate what was happening. Or...what had already happened, and what she planned to do about it. 

Sylvanas wasn’t sure how long it had been - when, finally, Velonara pushed her door open and stepped inside. Only then did Sylvanas finally look up from...well, she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d been looking at. All she knew was, against her better judgement, she wanted Velonara closer. 

She beckoned her forward with a gesture to the chair in front of her desk, and Velonara shut the door softly before moving towards it. She seemed to consider for a moment before she finally sat, and Sylvanas mulled over her next words for a moment before she finally spoke. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

Velonara wasn’t sure she’d heard her voice this soft since the war. There was almost a hint of what it had once been, there. Almost. 

“No.” 

She let out a shuddering sigh and dropped her head into her hands as Velonara watched her. 

“I don’t know what that was.” Sylvanas finally admitted - more to herself than to Velonara. 

“It was unfortunate. I was careless. I knew it was there, because it’s something that I feel, too, and I did what I did, anyway. Maybe I did it on purpose.” As she spoke, Velonara reached across the desk and drew one of Sylvanas’s hands back down to rest on top of it. She didn’t remove her own. “And for that, I’m sorry.” 

Sylvanas’s attention was focused on the way Velonara’s fingertips were slowly turning her hand until the soft leather palm of her glove was exposed so that she could trace slow, gentle lines across it. “Do you remember how this felt? You don’t have to answer me.”

“I’m not sure.” Sylvanas admitted truthfully. She had to push down a swell of frustration, then. She wanted to feel this. How gentle it was. She wanted this reminder. 

But she couldn’t feel it. They both knew that. 

“I made a promise, too. A promise I wasn’t sure that I’d kept, at first. I promised you that I would love you even after the end came. That nothing would stop the way I felt for you. Even death. Imagine my dismay upon feeling absolutely nothing...until I saw you.” 

“And what did you feel when you saw me?” Sylvanas asked, in that same quiet tone that she’d used before.

“Too much...and not enough, all at once. But I felt calm. I think that was the first time I felt calm. Everything before that was...was almost a blind panic. The memories, especially. They were so fleeting. They didn’t come in order. They still don’t, really. Not all the time. Most of them involve you. The most persistent...it’s not really a feeling, is it?”

“What isn’t?” Sylvanas asked, catching the far-off look on Velonara’s face. 

“The loss of how secure it felt to be needed by you.” 

Suddenly, Sylvanas couldn’t bear to look at her. 

“It’s okay.” Velonara continued before she could retreat too far. “It’s like everything is behind glass, isn’t it? Muted. Just out of reach.” 

“Not all of it.” Sylvanas replied. “There are moments that I wish weren’t so clear.”

“You saw it happen.” Velonara shifted in her seat and, just as she was about to pull her hand back, Sylvanas grasped it in her own. 

“I didn’t come here to upset you.” Velonara explained. “Let me leave. We shouldn’t have had this conversation.” 

“We needed to.” Sylvanas responded. “It was an inevitability. I spent nearly my entire life with you. It’s only natural that we would...harbor hope that there might still be something here for us. Something familiar.” 

“We could try.” Velonara offered. 

Sylvanas didn’t know, really, what she’d been expecting. All she knew was it hadn’t been that. 

“What do we have to lose, Sylvanas?” Velonara asked, then, when the other woman remained silent. She received an almost sad smile in response. 

“Nothing.” 

Slowly, Sylvanas shifted her attention from Velonara’s expression to the fact that she was unbuckling the straps holding her gauntlet on until the heavy piece of armor lay discarded on her desk to reveal hands that were just as slender and delicate in appearance as they had always been. 

Then, Velonara removed her own glove and reached for that hand, lifting it in her own and squeezing it firmly before she let her thumbnail graze the side of it.

It was like a ghost of a touch. Sylvanas wondered if she’d have felt it as much as she did had she not been watching. But it was enough to make her remember. It was enough for her to reach suddenly and fiercely for Velonara - to pull her close by a grip on the back of her neck, though she didn’t kiss her. Not yet. 

“I can make you feel me, Sylvanas.” Velonara whispered. “It will never be enough. It will never be what it once was. But I swear to you I can make you feel me.” 

Slowly, Sylvanas relaxed her grip, but Velonara didn’t pull away from it. She wouldn’t dare. Fear hadn’t been a very common emotion lately. There wasn’t much left to be afraid of. But she was terrified Sylvanas would stop touching her. She was terrified, as Sylvanas drew her hood away from her hair and traced the line of her ear, that she would change her mind. So much so that she turned her head towards the touch. Just slightly. Just enough. 

“All right.” Sylvanas finally murmured. 

It felt so strange to undress this way. They hadn’t seen each other. There were scars they didn’t recognize. A certain hardness their last weeks alive had brought about that would never go away by an overindulgent furlough. 

Velonara was the first to finish, and she knelt to help Sylvanas with the various buckles and straps she had left without thinking. Sylvanas’s armor had always been more intricate. It was only natural. It was only what her body remembered. 

Then, they were just sitting there, side-by-side on a bed Velonara doubted had even been used. 

“You want this?” Velonara asked, finally - when the silence became deafening. 

“In a way, yes. I want what it could be. I want what it could mean. Only a fool wouldn’t.” 

Velonara allowed her leg to touch the side of Sylvanas’s as she turned just enough to better see her, though she kept her hands on the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to extinguish the lanterns?” 

“No.” Sylvanas hadn’t realized how quickly that answer was going to leave her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen...I just know I want to be able to see you.” 

It wasn’t easy like it used to be. Things didn’t come naturally. They didn’t just fall into place. It took more courage than Velonara ever could have guessed just to speak again. “I can see how tense you are.” 

As if to reaffirm this observation, she reached out to stroke along Sylvanas’s bare thigh - allowing her thumb to graze the line of muscle along the side of it until the definition there lessened. 

The combination of that simple observation and the faint sensation Velonara’s hand created against her skin had Sylvanas leaning closer. A reaction Velonara hadn’t even allowed herself to hope for, but one she couldn’t help but want more of. Desperately. 

“It’s just me.” Velonara said quietly as Sylvanas turned her head towards her. “It’s just us.” 

Something changed, then. Something shifted in the room...in them. In Sylvanas. The kiss was nothing like it might have been before. It was harder. Much harder. Fangs bit caught against lips and tongues and there were sharp, desperate breaths until Sylvanas found herself on her back beneath Velonara, who was pushing her down into the mattress and reaching down to spread her thighs. Not to touch her. Not yet. Just to settle between them firmly. To allow her weight to to be felt. 

When their lips parted, Velonara lowered her mouth to Sylvanas’s neck immediately. Despite her fervor, she felt it the instant her fangs broke the skin there. For a split second, she nearly withdrew. Until the feeling of Sylvanas pressing into the bite registered. Until she realised Sylvanas had tangled her fingers in her hair. So, she ran the flat of her tongue over the little marks she’d made, instead. The quiet, breathy moan that came from Sylvanas in response distracted Velonara from how unfamiliar the taste of her skin was. 

Not that that would have stopped her. Not with the way Sylvanas had started to move beneath her. Velonara hadn’t even noticed how their hips had begun moving in time until she felt a slight bite of nails in her side that drew her back into the now. 

She finally did pause, then. Long enough to lift a hand to trace Sylvanas’s swollen lips with her fingertips until they parted for her. “Wet them.” She whispered against Sylvanas’s ear as she pinned one of the other woman’s thighs to the bed with her free hand. “I’m going to make you come tonight. I promise.” 

The little bite Sylvanas delivered after she’d run her tongue across Velonara’s fingers wasn’t lost on her. 

Velonara wasted no time in sliding her hand between them, and she gasped as Sylvanas did when she pressed into her. 

No, it wasn’t the same. But it was something. What would likely have been far too much, far too quickly, before - was now almost enough. 

‘Vel’ was something she never thought she would hear, again. In fact, she whimpered softly between desperate, heavy breaths as Sylvanas gasped it out against her neck where her face had been buried for quite some time now. 

“I won’t stop.” She responded as she glanced quickly between them in time to see the way Sylvanas’s stomach was tensing, despite how her arms burned and her chest ached. “I won’t.” 

Neither of them were even sure what it was, exactly, that they were chasing anymore. Something more, at least. More than the frustrating edge Sylvanas had been teetering on for so long that Velonara’s body had begun threatening to betray her. More than the tantalizing warmth that kept building and slipping away. 

As difficult as it was, Velonara finally pulled down away from Sylvanas, despite how strongly she clung to her, only to lower herself between her legs replace her fingertips with her mouth. Fingertips that moved up to Sylvanas’s stomach - digging into the skin there and staying put when Sylvanas’s hand came to cover her own. 

Nothing made Velonara want this more than the little stroke of the other woman’s thumb over her knuckles. Soft. Appreciative. Pleading. 

And finally, she made good on a promise Velonara, herself, had begun to doubt. This, too, was different. It wasn’t earth-shattering. It was gradual and slow and subtle. And even that was nearly overwhelming. It was the most Sylvanas had felt. More than she had ever thought she would feel, again. If the experience hadn’t been so exhausting, she might have found it terrifying.   
As it was, she just barely managed to reach down to lift Velonara’s chin so she would see her shaking her head.   
“I’m so sorry.” Velonara gasped as she only managed to move enough to rest her face against Sylvanas’s hip. “I can...just-”

“I came.” Sylvanas whispered breathlessly, her trembling fingertips finding the underside of Velonara’s jaw to trace the delicate line of it idly. Another gesture her body remembered from before. A gesture that felt safe and familiar right then. 

Velonara sagged against her immediately, her attention focused on the far wall of the room as Sylvanas let her hand fall from her jaw, her own eyes trained on the vaulted stone ceiling. 

“I’ll go.” Velonara offered quietly once she was able to. 

Sylvanas almost didn’t stop her. In fact, she didn’t. Not until Velonara began to try to get up. 

“Don’t.” 

Velonara froze for a moment before she carefully lowered herself back down, laying on her side next to Sylvanas, who finally looked at her. 

“Okay.” Velonara responded simply. 

They had tried. Whether or not it was enough, well...that didn’t really matter. It would have to be. As if to confirm this, or perhaps seeking confirmation for herself, Velonara reached towards Sylvanas’s hand where it lay between them. She didn’t take it into her own, though. She just traced the side of it with the back of her finger. 

Sylvanas did the rest for her, sliding her hand into Velonara’s palm and splaying her fingers so Velonara could twine their fingers together. 

_“Sylvanas...what is that look? Are you okay?”_

_“I think I love you.” She responded almost too quickly - her pulse hammering in her ears. “I...I think I’m in love with you.”_

_Velonara released a shaky breath of relief and shook her head. “Silly Elf.” She breathed - tracing along her delicate brow and then running the backs of her fingers down her cheek as her eyes began to shut slowly, despite how she fought against it. “I’m in love with you, too, of course. And I’m sure I’ll still be in love with you in the morning. After you’ve slept.”_

  
‘Glory’  
Dermot Kennedy  
For all the moments never known  
'Cause he stepped off of the tallest sail  
For all the love he'd left below  
In the waves

He made his peace with letting go  
Said some things he'd never dared to say  
The one the lighthouse left alone  
Never saved

'Til a set of eyes had pinned him  
Became his version of a kingdom  
Now I know they'll never haunt me  
When she's singing to me "Glory"

 

And a hopeful rhythm woke within him  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
Had some letters written, 'course she's in 'em  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
Tried to tell her, throat wasn’t in it  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
I was only ever thinking about you, you know  
She's singing to me glory

They found a letter that he wrote  
He said "it's best off if we burn the page"  
I wrote it very long ago  
In different days

I guess I'm tired of talk of hope  
I've learned that doves and ravens fly the same (fly the same)  
But suddenly she's all I know  
An old refrain

A set of eyes had pinned him  
Became his version of a kingdom  
Now I know they'll never haunt me  
When she's singing to me "Glory"

And a hopeful rhythm woke within him  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
Had some letters written, 'course she's in 'em  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
Tried to tell her, throat wasn’t in it  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
I was only ever thinking about you, you know  
She's singing to me "Glory" (Oh)

(Glory)

I was only ever thinking about you, you know  
Singing to me "Glory"

A set of eyes had pinned him  
Became his version of a kingdom  
She's everything the devil can't be  
When she's singing to me "Glory"

A set of eyes had pinned him  
Became his version of a kingdom  
She's everything the devil can't be  
When she's singing to me "Glory"  
"Glory"  
"Glory"  
She's singing to me "Glory"  
Singing to me "Glory"


End file.
